Inspiration From The Vortex.

Coming your way every Wednesday and Sunday, join me on a whimsical, informative and at times profound journey into the depths of healing the soul………..mine……..yours………..the whole planet!

 

Out With The Old And In With The New!

body in spaceThe lesson this week has been all about listening to my body, not necessarily in words but more often in feelings, the felt sense. It can have emotion attached to it but it is what is described as the kinesthetic sense and it is my primary way of receiving information about my world. Because we exist in a culture that tries to describe everything in a so-called rational way the interpretation can be challenging.

So I try to stay with how I am feeling in each moment rather than on creating stories. With an itchy rash and then an intensely painful left shoulder I’ve had to surrender to the feelings and sit with them. My body made it impossible for my week to unfold in the way I had planned and there were things I had to let go of. Somehow I have managed to balance it all and I find myself in a place where all is done and only a gentle ache in  my shoulder. I’ve been kind to me even as I practice responsibility, the ability to respond to life’s shifting sands. And in my definition that means a response that is good for me and all life everywhere.

Choose-Being-Kind-Over-Right1

Can I tell you what it’s all been about? Not really, except that really huge energies have been moving through me to be cleared which is very exciting but can sometimes be a tad uncomfortable. It is so worth hanging on and staying with that discomfort, as you clear the old patterns more light can come in and you can see the larger you much more clearly than ever before. More light to share with the world but in particular my Beloved who is away from my side until tonight, three days and nights, oh how I do pine…….. But I also get things done, keeping the balance as best I can in each moment………..

Energy on the move!

Energy on the move!

Don’t forget to LOVE everyone, even the ones you don’t like very much!

True Vision Cometh Through Pain And Discomfort.

in the warsWell I have certainly been in the wars since I last spoke to you! I’m glad I re-told you a story that neatly illustrated the idea that your body is speaking to you and that understanding this can bring healing and release. Not that it felt neat at the time but the way the rash began to get better as soon as I had taken action felt like a miracle as well as being a blessed relief. At the moment I am still in process but there is some relief as I no longer have a terrible itch on my hands and arms. And my left shoulder is still very sore but so much better than it was, I had to keep it as still as possible because all movement was painful.

resistanceahead

I have had a couple of sessions on the energy that is moving through and it seems like it is ancestral connections that may need to be healed. That may well be part of the job I signed up for when I agreed to come to Planet Earth at this momentous time in humanity’s history. I found a road in my left shoulder which leads to where I need to go but there was resistance in me and I wasn’t quite ready to take that path. I think it needs to happen soon but not quite yet, I will feel my way into the future and see how it emerges from the mix.

spiritual_gate

For we all have within us the vision of all that we are. past, present and future, asked by society to be small we get scared by such a vast picture. We think it’s too much for us but it can give you clues to important aspects of your own existence. I have gone into the clouds with my Beloved having left our old bodies in a ceremony, there we meet a dear old friend who went some time before us. It felt like a true vision to me, they are rarely very long but they are intense and have a ring of authenticity about them.

sunsrays

Life can shift at a moment’s notice and yet there are what seem to be solid markers on the path that can be perceived when in a meditative or altered state of consciousness. Anyway I do seem to be surviving this latest episode, more insights if any come, love and tons of blissings to you all!

LOVE!

The Body Talks And Talks: Are You Listening?

rash and rainbow tarotI have a lot of energy moving through me and some of it is expressing itself through an itchy rash on my arms and hands. Not sure how clearly you can see it in this photo but believe me when it goes into ultra itchiness it can seem almost unbearable. I will see how this unfolds and let you know if I can pass on anything useful. In the meantime here is a story I’m re-blogging as a great example of how the body can give us very clear messages in the most amazing fashion. On this particular occasion understanding the message provided almost instant healing! Read on:

heartchakravenus

It would have been towards the end of 2003 when I was involved in intense shamanic training in bodywork and breathwork, that I experienced this rash in  a very intense form. I went to a talk by Nityama, a tantric master, just hugging him is enough to trigger an orgasmic state, I got a lot out of his talk on conscious relationships and it got me thinking about the relationship that I had supposedly ended just recently.It was someone I had a deep bond with and love for, but it was definitely not a conscious relationship, I had ended it because I knew it was doomed but he was still coming to my bed, it can be hard to let go as I’m sure you all know! At the end of that talk I knew I had to finish it completely but a week later I still hadn’t done anything about it.

Shantam Nityama

Shantam Nityama

Then a day or two after a bodywork session this rash started to develop on my face, it was intensely itchy and I had little pustules that wept at night so I had to have a towel on my pillow. I still went to work, life modelling and working in a bookshop, I was determined to work out what the rash was telling me so I refused to suppress it with medication. This went on for four days and then I was talking with my dear buddy Ulli on the phone about it, and we were discussing the significance of where it was occurring on my body, she said, “What is you’re not facing?”

breakup-heart

The penny dropped and as soon as I hung up on her I rang my ex and asked him to come visit, he wasn’t surprised when I said we had to finish completely, there was a sense of relief on both our parts. I went to bed that night and when I woke up the rash was well on the way to healing, I had got the message and taken appropriate action.The message isn’t always as clear as on that occasion, but the body is always talking to us, and it has a deep wisdom we would be wise to tap into. In order to access this space it is necessary to do clearing on the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels of our being. I’ve been engaged in this process since the beginning of 2000 but the good news is that for some of you it will be much quicker, I have had a lot of damage to clear which is often the case for those of us engaged in the healing arts.

From FaceBook.com/Quantumfractal

Either way it is so worth doing, life just gets better and better, there is more joy, pleasure and fun to be had, in fact it’s infinite!! So go ahead and follow your bliss, that’s my plan!

Pleasure And Growth Through Relaxation.

Raina_Goddess_of_LightThe air rests on my skin with a warm and cosy touch even as ghosts of the breath of the wind slip through the partly open window. There is a haze about the day that speaks of summer even though spring is still the season that cradles us, perhaps she is canoodling with summer and inviting him to come in early. ‘Twas the case with last year’s season and the spring and summer must have made an intense heat indeed for the rainy goddess took her tears somewhere else that year.

A day to let thought run with the faeries and to be light and joyful without too much fanfare as I prepare to step into a new perspective of my familiar place of work. To know not only my part of the story but to sit at the centre and chart the journeys of the souls within my charge for a time, to hold space and to protect. Too much thought and I will become weighed down with the weight of the world and of my own expectation, based on all the things I might ‘think’ will happen. How much more graceful to relax into my day and to trust that my experience and knowledge married with my knowing gut will steer the course for me, moment by moment.

Faeries Dancing

Relaxation is the key to having a much more meaningful and happy existence, it will improve your experience no matter what you are going through. I’ve spent a lot of time over the years doing a variety of personal growth activities and learning how to relax was always an important aspect of pretty much the whole shebang. It may not seem glamorous but time spent in this fashion could be the best investment you ever make, after all your eternal soul is probably going to outlast the stock market. And if you learn to relax you will expand your capacity for pleasure, in everything! Now that’s worth putting some time into, I want what she’s having!!

 

 

Stepping Into My Power And Being Seen.

ballet girlI’ve always been a performer, from ballet classes at the age of six to a degree in performing arts in my early twenties. My brother and I used to recite Banjo Patterson’s “The Man From Ironbark” which we knew off by heart, and David would sing “Me And Bobby McGee” in his sweet, not yet broken voice. If there was an opportunity to step into the spotlight I was always ready to jump in, so you might be excused for feeling a tad confused when I say that I have had huge issues with ‘being seen’.

public-speakingThe thing is when you’re playing a character on stage you’re not actually being yourself. You may well draw upon aspects of who you are but it isn’t really you at all. And somehow that is so much easier than standing up in front of a whole bunch of people and speaking to them as Kerry Laizans. But that’s the more obvious stuff, the desire to stay hidden operates at much more subtle levels of our being. There was a period in my life about thirteen years ago when I was meeting lots of new people as I established a new life in a new city. It didn’t happen with everyone, but there were certain people who I kept meeting over and over again and each time they would behave as though they were meeting me for the first time.

higher selfNot everyone responded in the same way but it was clear that I was sending out the message, “Don’t see me”, and some people received it and were most obliging! It would happen to the point of ridiculousness , someone who had met me so many times that still not knowing me was kind of crazy. So being at The Joining Gathering as a presenter a couple of weeks ago represented a bit of a milestone as I step more and more into my power. And how did I get there? It’s been a long and hard road and much of the healing has been about clearing out the negative material that was obscuring my view of my larger self.

You really do have the answers within, it isn’t just some cliche, the jewel that you are simply has mud covering many of the facets that represent all that you could be. So time to start cleaning and polishing so you can discover that bigger perspective that your higher self can offer. Life will continue to be challenging at times but I guarantee you will have a whole lot more fun along the way.

Namaste!

Joining Into The Interconnectedness Of All Things!

The Joining 2014Four days of soulful magic , until this moment an internal weaving of growth and expansion that somehow could not quite be captured in words. Every time I thought to put pen to paper my deeper knowing said, not yet……not yet. My Joining Gathering this time was not so much an island of love and connection in the new life I was building. There have been many layers of deepening into connection but for my relationship journey I would have to say that the Joining Gathering was pivotal in me getting to where I am now.

Big Rainbow

I didn’t meet my Beloved there but I spent four days with amazing conscious men and women, it gives one hope that there is someone out there for you. And it can help you to let go of old patterns around men and women as the honouring ceremonies go on and you have the opportunity to dive into yourself in amazing workshops. It helped me make a real shift into new ways of relating to others, and eventually in divine timing I met my Beloved and now we have been to the Joining and run a workshop there together! Talk about dreams coming true!

Us on the day of our workshop!

Us on the day of our workshop!

And so we had a marvelous Joining adventure and came back even more overflowing with love than before, if that’s possible. It was incredible and the really fun bit is that we live in that kind of space on a daily basis my Beloved and I. Doing it with a whole bunch of other conscious seekers and inspiring teachers is operating at an even higher level, all extremely yummy to say the least.

The Joining Gathering.

The Joining Gathering.

I would recommend the gathering to anyone seeking to explore different ways of connecting to each other, men and women as well as each with our own business. This is a time to be finding our true relationship with all things, the interconnected web that supports all life everywhere. I am looking forward to my contribution to this and feeling immense gratitude to the Joining Gathering for giving me the opportunity to be seen!

Thanks Joining Community!

Connect Or Die: Feeling Gaia’s Love.

shaman spiralTime did not exist in my black hole in the ground, and so I’ve no idea how long I spent feeling and then watching my fears go speeding out of my body into the waiting arms of the earth. My memories of the rest of that time are not so clear except for moments here and there, I tried hard to stay awake but alas I did fall asleep.

That sleep gave me another of the gifts that I received, in my dream I was hovering above the graves looking down on the men who were standing watch sitting around fires. One of them looked up and seemed to be looking straight at me and I shot up into the air and I flew, I rarely remember my dreams and I have never flown in one before or since. It’s also the only ocassion that I have had an experience of moving out of my body and watching what was going on around me while I was unconscious.

out of body image

I have a confession to make at this point, I snore! Well I certainly did back then anyway, one of the women who came out of the ground for a time said that the sound of my snores rising out of the earth, was immensely comforting. She was the bravest of us all in my opinion, for she went back in after being overcome by her fears. She figured that if I was so relaxed I could go to sleep in there, that maybe there wasn’t really so much to worry about after all.

talltreesinsun

As the faint tinges of light began to appear I knew my time in the earth was coming to an end, and all I wanted to do was to stay in this wonderfully comfortable, safe space that I had found, once the terror was gone. My bladder behaved beautifully and I had found such peace cradled in the bossom of the Mother.When the wooden cover came off I felt as though I was seeing light for the first time in my life, the trees and other plants, the sky, the sounds, all standing out in sharp relief. For a time I wandered in the bush, exploring my new senses and feeling the wonder of being alive and being connected to every single living creature on Gaia’s earth.

treesdancing

Mother Earth MutuhuWe are all a part of Gaia, whether we can feel it or not, if you are on the planet in a physical body then she is supporting you no matter what you do. We need to even up the exchange and begin to offer back the same support to her, not that she couldn’t get by without us, but she loves us, and sincerely hopes that we will not make ourselves extinct.

Thank you Mother, we are doing our best to grow up, with any luck it isn’t too late!