Monthly Archives: December 2012

On the Brink of the Void.

Posted on December 31, 2012 | 4 comments

The year that we are saying goodbye to has been extremely full on, there have been some huge shifts and changes and I’m not really thinking about the larger world, my focus has been with my inner world and with my immediate community. To me true change is about shifting consciousness and while I do assist people in that area with some of the work that I do, at the end of the day it is something we each have to take personal responsiblity for.

Perhaps that’s why I am heading off to the Woodford Folk Festival on my own to celebrate the eve of the new year, it feels absolutely perfect to be doing it this way, I am looking forward to what may unfold. Something is drawing me there, the pull is very strong and so I am following what some might consider a mad impulse. Most people seem to be more comfortable moving in groups and I have moved more and more into community myself this year, but the siren call of the hermit is still a powerful force within me.

I do need to be in that space on a regular basis in order to be centred and to restore my energy, I have been so busy in my wonderful community that I actually had to pull back a few weeks ago in order to come back to that place of quiet strength that the nourishment of solitude provides for me. A seemingly strange topic for what is considered by many to be the biggest party night of the year and perhaps my new year’s eve will end up being a big party, or maybe I will go home early.

I feel like a blank canvas waiting for inspiration and the not knowing is exciting, the womb of creation, the void from which all things arise, the quantum field that is quivering with possibilities………..

Bring it on……………..whatever may come I do welcome thee as I surrender to the flow of the life force.

Ohm Shanti Ohm.

In the dark and empty spaces of the universe, we find the void.

In the dark and empty spaces of the universe, we find the void.

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Sex and the Supernatural.

Posted on December 30, 2012 | Leave a comment

As I mentioned in my last post I have had a lot of powerful feelings coming up, old negative patterns and belief systems, and I just keep letting go and letting go. Sounds very spiritual doesn’t it, maybe even supernatural???? Very much so and I would like to thank Buffy the Vampire Slayer for being a wonderful distraction from negative self talk! Nine episodes in three days and my head is full of demons and witches, sexy vampires and cute teenage fashions, I may not be a shopper but I still enjoy the outfits.

Yes, I have another confession to make, I LOVE watching fantasy and science fiction shows and reading the books, Ann Rice writes with a seductiveness you will never ever find in a mills and boon romance. Fantasy and science fiction has been a wonderful preparation for the shamanic journey, and the entry into a new quantum reality. As I threw myself into deep journeying through trance, breathwork, bodywork, dance and sound, I found it easier to let go of accepted norms and to allow myself to surrender to strange spiritual dimensions.

It has been a wonderful time of learning and my background as an actor has also come in quite handy, in fact I participated in the creation of theatrical shows some years back in Sydney that were very much transformational theatre. As I have mentioned before, being witnessed is a very powerful tool, and can be a deeply profound experience for both the watcher and the watched.

I was a life model for drawing classes for a couple of years and when you are being looked at with full attention like that you can literally ‘feel’ the energy of that  strong focus. It actually feels very erotic but it has nothing to do with the fact that you are naked, nothing kinky going on here I promise. But you are connecting with life force energy, which is sexual energy, it is the most natural thing in the world but unfortunately it is an impulse that has been suppressed by the dominant culture.

I’m not advocating orgies here, but I do think that it is high time we moved beyond adolescent fantasies and an obsession with youth when it comes to sexuality. Being yourself is sexy enough and vibrant health on every level of your being the ultimate aphrodisiac!

buffy-the-vampire-slayer

Mmmm……. as I look at this picture of Buffy I am thinking about my comments on adolescent fantasies, am I a hypocrite???? Awwwww give me a break, we are all allowed a bit of harmless frivolity, the true challenge is to make the changes in the lives we are actually living. I will keep you posted on my progress!

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Dangerous Opportunities.

Posted on December 29, 2012 | Leave a comment

A major feature of my experience of these times we are living in is that anything you haven’t yet dealt with is going to be in your face. If you notice yourself having a big reaction to something that is not really in proportion to what has actually occurred then there is a fair chance that you are facing an opportunity to clear something big. This is when crisis can be a doorway to shedding the past and entering into new ways of being. A beautiful illustration of this can be seen in the chinese character for crisis, which is made up of two symbols, one means danger and the other means opportunity.

chinese_crisis_symbols

I am staring my attitude of lack and scarcity right in the face at the moment and I don’t like what I see or feel at all. This festive season has been good for me but there have also been some drawbacks and it is mostly to do with me not taking proper time off because I need to keep working, not because I am a workaholic but because there isn’t enough in the bank account.

According to the Laws of Manifestation I am not even supposed to be speaking of what I don’t have, I’ve always found that one a bit tricky and maybe that is why I haven’t made the big shift yet. For the truth is that I have made huge progress, the money that I do earn all comes through doing work that I enjoy, that gives meaning and purpose to my life.

So I sit with my feelings, and while the mind can help with intellectual understandings, it is the intuition coming from the heart that is truly my guiding light in the darkness of old fears and monsters under the bed. The heart has its own wisdom and there is a physiological basis for this, half the cells in our heart are identical to brain cells. Apparently they have discovered brain cells in the gut too, makes a lot of sense when you thing about ‘gut feelings’.

Just writing all of this helps me to shift my feelings somewhat, journalling is a wonderful self-development tool and one that I have used a lot over the years. It is a bit different doing it so publicly, I have a lot of shame over being in lack and to put it out where anyone can see feels very challenging. So be compassionate in your thoughts as you read this and I will try to do the same for myself.

With kindness and compassion and a huge dollop of gratitude for the abundance and beauty of life!

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Awakening.

Posted on December 28, 2012 | Leave a comment

With the chrissy whirl still going round and round I have no time to research the significance of the snake but it is a medicine that has come to me before and so I have some idea of its meaning for me. Snakes have the ability to unhinge their jaws and take in animals much larger than themselves, having taken this huge mouthful they then slowly but surely digest their food. I am learning a lot at the moment with this blog, for me getting started was the big mouthful and now as I am doing it I begin to make sense of what I am doing, understanding and integration slowly unfolding through the digestive juices of my mind and intuition.

This is also a time of transformation on a personal and global level, and this is probably the best known aspect of snake medicine. Letting go of the old is necessary in order to transform into new shapes just as the snake sheds its skin in order to be reborn. I am shifting from the old Kerry who was insecure, felt unworthy, and could not allow abundance to flow in her life, into a new improved model, like going from a broken down bomb to a sleek red Ferrari!

As I engage the gears of this new bio machine I feel the power within, and the life force flows through my being like sunshine glinting on the sea or a beautiful flower opening to the light. I feel enormous gratitude to the python for the message that it brought, it matters not that we are always this magnificent creature for we do forget how wondrous we are and need to be reminded over and over again, in a world that often tries to cover this burning truth.

This is an extract from a Wordsworth poem called “Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood”, it captures beautifully the way that our culture encourages us to fall asleep and to become ignorant of the deeper magical truths about life. It is sourced from bartleby.com.

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
The Soul that rises with us, our life’s Star,
        Hath had elsewhere its setting,
          And cometh from afar:
        Not in entire forgetfulness,
        And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
        From God, who is our home:
Heaven lies about us in our infancy!
Shades of the prison-house begin to close
        Upon the growing Boy,
But he beholds the light, and whence it flows,
        He sees it in his joy;
The Youth, who daily farther from the east
    Must travel, still is Nature’s priest,
      And by the vision splendid
      Is on his way attended;
At length the Man perceives it die away,
And fade into the light of common day.

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Into the Night.

Posted on December 27, 2012 | Leave a comment

I woke the following morning with things to do and no sign of the python so I opened the front door and left the connecting door closed hoping that the snake would take the opportunity to escape. There was no sign of it that day or the next and I began to hope that it had indeed slithered its way out of the house because I still had no idea what to do with the darn thing. I wasn’t frightened of it but I had no idea what to do with it, I knew that pythons are not aggressive or venomous but I didn’t really know how it would react if I tried to pick it up.

On the sunday evening I had been out all day and when I turned the light on for the front room lo and behold, there was the python, curled up on a pot plant crushing the life out of the poor thing. This was the closest to the door it had been, surely there was some way I could get it to go out the front door. I got a broom and tried poking it but the snake merely raised its head and looked at me with its tiny eyes, what to do? Then I had a brain wave, the pot plant was on a small table and so I pushed the table over to the door. I had to push the table half way out the door but the snake eventually got the idea and slid its way down onto the verandah and slithered away into the night, thank the Goddess, I had managed to solve the problem all by myself.

A good story to dine out on, but of course there is a deeper understanding that may be gleaned from this tale, the snake is a symbol rich in meaning and it came into the house for the Solstice 2012, very powerful medicine indeed! To find out the meaning for me look for my next post, Slithering blissings to you all…………………

The norse snake ring
The norse snake ring

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Solstice Sequel.

Posted on December 26, 2012 | Leave a comment

There is a sequel to my story of the Solstice night last friday that I would like to share with you now, I felt it deserved a post all to itself. I should begin by telling you about the night before that, when I came home to find objects in the house slightly moved around, and in the bathroom some things had been knocked over and broken. I could not for the life of me work out what on earth could have done this, I had a sense that something had come in through the window but had no idea what it was.

So on the Solstice night I was in bed when I heard crashing sounds coming from the front room, I leaped out of bed and went rushing in to discover a huge python curling its way along the top of the shelves knocking things over as it went. The woman I am house sitting for does sandplay therapy and she had hundreds of little figures and objects which were now hurtling off the shelf in the wake of this slithering reptile, as a city girl I had never seen anything like it before in my life!

I had no idea what to do, the snake was obviously looking for a way out but it was heading away from the door and none of the windows in the room would open. There was also a smell of sewage and I cast around for the source of it only to find a huge pile of what I could only assume to be python poo, oh my goddess, letting go of the notion of sleep I set to and cleaned up the mess. The snake was still in the room and not looking like it had any intention of going out the door, in the end I had to go to bed with the connecting door to the rest of the house shut but I couldn’t leave the front door open so I had to let the whole thing go and hope that the morning would come with an answer to the question of what to do with the snake!

To find out what happened next stay tuned for my next post!spotted-python

Still no camera but my python was very similar to this one, imagine having this slithering around your home!

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Occupy Christmas.

Posted on December 25, 2012 | Leave a comment

You know those cooking shows where they don’t have time to let things cook and so there’s an already finished dish ready to present, well this Christmas Day post is a bit like that. There’s no way I’m going to be writing my blog on that day so here is something I prepared earlier, some thoughts on the whole tinsel and tree, food and presents, family dynamics extravaganza.

The thing that strikes me about the festive season is the amount of stress that people put themselves through, going into debt to buy presents they can’t afford that will have fallen apart by the end of the school holidays. The spirit is still in there somewhere but our culture’s habit of turning everything into a commodity does get in the way at times of the coming together in community that is for me, the essential nature of Christmas.

If you’ve read any of my previous entries you may well be sick of me talking about community, but I think it is not only important for me but for the whole of humanity. If we don’t work out how to move into a higher level of co-operation with each other then the sun may well be setting not only on our current civilisation, but on the entire human race. For most of the ‘sheeple’ the fact that we need to do this doesn’t even register as they continue to be blinded and dumbed down by the toxicity of our food, media, government and other institutions.

As always though, I am the eternal optimist; and while I can see that many are still wearing blinkers, there are also many who are beginning to wake up. The internet and social media are playing an important role in this process, it is getting harder and harder for those who are shafting us to get away with it and they know it.

We really do live in exciting times and I for one am glad to be alive in a time of such incredible transformation. Let the incredible journey continue as we move into the exploration of what the next stage of being human might look like!

christmas-decoration

occupy-wall-street-protest-signs

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Let’s Dance.

Posted on December 24, 2012 | Leave a comment

I sat in a medicine circle recently for most of a night and a morning and my visions were beautiful and the messages full of cheer! No more suffering for me, as I continue to shift my perceptions my journey shifts and the night is now a place of huge glittering skies full of stars rather than a long dark night of the soul. I played the part of ‘Misery’ in an impro show I put on with a friend some years ago now and I think that was an important letting go of an aspect of the ‘victim’ that I was embodying.

No more victim for me, I live in a world where the quantum field quivers with possibility ready to become that which my intention may manifest or not, it’s always a choice. I choose to embody my God/Goddess Self, the high priestess who commands great power and who leads through surrender, relational guidance and a flow of the earth’s wisdom through all levels of existence. I am Demeter, Lilith, Inanna, Athene, Aphrodite and Ceridwen, the feminine flows through me and it is a part of my task to offer this gift to others who wish to experience it.

So through readings, writings, conversations and energy exchanges, through sight and sound, a feeling through the “felt’ sense that is at my core, I shall make this offering to all the world and see who wants to play with me! In a way the title ‘Through the Vortex’ acknowledges the fact that I have entered into that space and am currently engaged in navigating my way through that place of whirling dervish, hindu chant, ancient prayers in all the old languages, place of frequency, merge of thought, feeling, body sense, spirit, connection to source, all that is.

It is time for a WORLD PARTY! St Germaine used to say ‘Until further notice, celebrate everything!’ A friend describes me as part party girl and part sensitive spiritual being and this feels quite accurate to me. Who better to help you to chill and let go of everything that stands in the way of your spirit dancing at a party held in the highest heaven of your heart.

LETS PARTY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

radha_krishna

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Lets Eat.

Posted on December 23, 2012 | Leave a comment

Food can be a great challenge and a great delight, it’s been love/hate for me over the years but the concept of food as medicine has helped me a lot in shifting old patterns. The really deep ingrained ones tend to come back but never totally back to how it was, so always progress in the longer term.

I am currently in that phase where I keep slipping and feel like I am falling back just a wee tad further than would be wise. My weight is scaring me and that can’t be good, christmas is the wrong time of year to be steadily losing will power, the thin end of the wedge will not, on this occasion, result in me being thin! Indeed we are looking at a polar opposite here, hence the rising scent of fear!

So I am seeking the next stage in the journey towards optimum health and it will be both weight loss and detoxification. I feel a resistance to doing the HCG protocol again but I do know that it is a path that does work to lose the weight quickly. That which calls me also is the notion of shifting towards a total raw food diet, I know my body would thrive on that regime but I don’t know how it will affect my weight. One tends to assume weight loss, certainly detox particularly if I am eating organic food, but you never know until you do it.

romainesandwiches

I keep thinking GREEN SMOOTHIES and then promptly doing absolutely nothing about it. If I translate my passion for kale in salads and stir frys into a GREEN SMOOTHIE there’s no telling where I may end up, there are no limits for Goddesses powered by green super food. Actually purple is supposed to be pretty good also and not just for burning off the dross with its searing flame, think eggplant and acai, blueberries, grapes and purple cabbage.

But first I need to get through Christmas…………I know I can do it the question is how big will I be at the end of that tinselled, flashing tunnel leading to the North Pole? Will I be the size of a house or even mansion, generously overflowing my fabulous wardrobe, or will I merely be the size of a truck or perhaps a small moving van. Keep watching this space, you are all my witnesses Goddess help me, I WILL SURVIVE the season of Sugar and Starch!

christmas-spice-cakes-with-chocolate

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Grounding.

Posted on December 22, 2012 | Leave a comment

After a day of powerful energies filling me like a whirling dervish, the solstice celebration I went to was the perfect way to ground and to centre and to integrate. I connected with beautiful open-hearted people in a community that supports and nourishes me in such a way, that, like a flower, I am able to flourish and grow into more of my magnificence.

In the ceremony we walked a twin labyrinth, carrying in a candle to light in the centre, where there was an altar with a wooden angel and symbols for the masculine and the feminine energies. There were quite a few of us so it took some time and we created a deep stillness full of love and reverence. The trees around us were lit up so I could see the exquisite shapes of the leaves and the branches, the feeling of the earth under my bare feet. As I walked into the centre I let go of insecurity, low self-esteem, judgement of self and others, of anything holding me back. Coming out I welcomed self-love, trust, abundance, love of difference and variety, and I also welcomed my Beloved.

Labyrinth

Labyrinth

Then the drums led us to the fire to dance on the earth, the beautiful earth that supports us no matter what we do. I once was buried in the earth for 12 hours and as I lay there I twisted and turned and felt like I had to find the perfect position to lie in, I kept judging myself and thinking I had to get it right. Then I noticed a deep chuckling, it was Mother Earth and she said to me, “Lie any way you want, I will always be there to support you!” It was an important realisation for me, knowing that the earth is always there supporting us whether we feel the connection or not.

Happy Solstice………blissings……….

fire circle

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