Monthly Archives: March 2013

Becoming Whole.

Moving from house to house I go on my merry, merry way! One night back at mums and then I’m off to play nanny to 6 dogs, two adults and 4 adorable puppies. They’re little fluffy bundles of curly black surging around me, jumping up and licking my feet. I’ll be there for less than a week but it will be fun to be in that puppy energy for a bit, a reminder of fresh eyes and childlike enthusiasm.

Which reflects back to me the child I am continuing to become, infused with bright energy and feeling a sense of optimism about the future. We are all made up of many different aspects of self, the child at various ages, the victim, the lover, the clown………and on and on it goes, for many it ends up being like a dysfunctional family.

In my huge process of shedding I’ve let go of many of the more negative aspects of self, probably the most important was the part of me that thought I was unworthy, not good enough to be prosperous and do well in life. And as I let go of that which no longer serves me I allow room for more positive forces to be revealed, the new child is one of these and Bad Queen is definitely a force for good!

Whenever I think about Bad Queen I feel strength coming into me, a devil-may-care attitude and a sense that I can have whatever I want and to just go for it. You can spend too much time and energy worrying about other people’s feelings, sometimes you just have to do what’s right for you, and if that doesn’t work for someone else then you  accept the consequences and move on. Easy to say, not so sure about easy to do, I will keep you posted on my progress!

So my internal family is starting to become very functional, they are speaking up and being heard,  the communication lines are wide open as the life force energy continues to surge through my being. Just as well I have all this energy, as I frolic with those gorgeous puppies and dance my way through another super busy and inspirational week!

blackpuppys

Travel Broadens The Gut.

Seems like it’s time to talk about food again, I am fairly obsessed on this subject most of the time, but there’s only so much you can say unless you are an expert, or much more into research than I am. But it’s in my awareness always, and I’m mostly feeling very good about where I am in terms of my relationship to food. I don’t crave sugar, I have one or two coffees a week, and my simple cave man’s diet satisfies me with very little snacking required between meals.

I do get a bit frustrated about water sometimes, in my house sitting travels I’ve had lots of rainwater which I love, but when you are drinking town water then a water filter becomes an issue. Your basic Britta water filter is not expensive but it doesn’t take out the fluoride, for that you need something like a reverse osmosis system and they are not cheap. That’s a big part of the problem of trying to be super healthy, you tend to need a super bank balance which makes it prohibitive for many. For me I spend the money I would have spent on rent on buying local organic produce, I also buy a probiotic to put in my green smoothies which is pretty expensive, but with my energy levels I would say it is definitely paying off.

The probiotic comes under the classification of cultured food, and I listened to a short video which had something very interesting to say on this subject. In the past people had a lot more cultured or fermented foods, particularly in the days before refrigeration. We talk about people becoming more cultured when they travel, and generally we’re referring to things like art, theatre and dance. But when we travel we are also being exposed to the local bacteria, puts the expression ‘becoming more cultured’ in a rather different light doesn’t it!

Sauerkraut.

Sauerkraut.

You could make a fabulous short animated video using that idea as the theme, if I had time I would try to find something on YouTube, but I don’t so I will simply add the link for my inspiration for this post. It comes through Food Matters which is responsible for a documentary of the same name, as well as a newer doco called Hungry For Change. If you are looking for information on good food I can highly recommend both the films and their newsletter.

To Good Food, To Life!

The cells in my body are gently tingling as I sit here and write, not because I’ve been meditating, although I did do yoga this morning, nor have I done any more breath sessions. I am full of a gentle radiance that comes with making and sharing a vibrant living lunch with a beautiful soul, yet another of the wondrous beings I have connected with here in paradise.

If you haven’t tried zucchini pasta I highly recommend it, you will need a simple machine to make the spirals, I have a veggie twister, to see a picture and read my rave review check out my earlier post, Spirals of Goodness. It’s much better for me to avoid most grains most of the time, especially in the form of bread and pasta. So I make spirals out of zucchini and then just add the sauce which has goats or sheep feta and avocado, then top it off with grated goats cheddar. Add a salad to that and with almost all of the ingredients being organic you have a living feast that not only tastes good but fills you with life and joy!

And for desert we shared a slice of raw key lime tart with nut sauce, not made by me, that’s something for future aspiration, the pastry made from nuts rather than grains is so much nicer than the cooked variety. And to top it off there was raw chocolate from Loving Earth, I love their products, they use high quality organic ingredients and I do believe I can taste the love. Laugh if you will but a meal such as this is offering so much more than the basic nutrients, living enzymes, local produce (some from the garden where I’m living), and of course the absence of pesticides and poisons is a pretty important factor.

Raw Key Lime Tart.

Raw Key Lime Tart.

My favourite Loving Earth Raw Chocolate: Luvju.

My favourite Loving Earth Raw Chocolate: Luvju.

My power surges are coming from a variety of sources and eating good food that works for my body is certainly one of those factors, it makes sense to put living food into a living organism but we have strayed so far from this path in Western Society. Don’t let the so-called authorities tell you what’s right for you, start getting in touch with your body and see what it has to say on the subject. You might have to do a bit of clearing to get the messages through but it is so worth it!

To Good Food, To Life!

Bad Queen.

Bad Queen kicks arse, she does what she wants with who she wants and the rules of society don’t concern her at all! Justice does though, you’d better not cross Bad Queen, she’ll make sure that karma catches up with you real fast. On the other hand, if you look out for her, you will have her loyalty for ever, she will never let you down.

badqueen

Bad Queen, also known as BQ, is a wild woman, she represents the part of us that wants to rebel against the status quo, the aspect of self that knows its own worth and acts accordingly. The rights or wrongs of what she does depend largely on the perspective of the one who is judging, in a society where people are indoctrinated to be like sheep, she is the wolf, the baddie!

I think it’s time for me to explore my BQ nature, let the sweet receptive soft feminine do the counselling, the massage, and the healings, everybody else watch out! How do I know this is the time for me to do this? Because the idea of it scares the bejesus out of me! Whenever I contemplate a course of action and feel fear coming up it’s like a signpost saying, time to face this one. I need to develop more of an edge, learn how to give people a hard time if they deserve it, something I have trouble doing even as a joke. Pathetic I know but BQ is going to help me move through all that and find my inner strength without becoming a bitch.

That’s the thing about BQ, she isn’t mean, nasty or petty, if you do the right thing by her she’s a great person to hang out with. You’ll be laughing and inspired and full of the joy of life, her energy is infectious, in a good way!

Oh boy, what have I got myself into………………..BQ, I am going to do my best to let you come out and play but be kind to me, this is going to be quite a challenge. Calling on the energy of Kali and Lilith, two kick arse Goddesses who embody exactly the qualities I am looking to find in myself!

Lilith.

Lilith.

Becoming The Queen!

I talk a lot about stepping into my power, and one of the symbols for that process which is frequently before me in the readings I do for others, is the Queen. As I channel information through for clients, I often see reflections in my own life. I did a reading just recently for a very beautiful woman who was wanting to know about a relationship, she got three queens and what they were telling her was that she needed to focus on her spiritual path. The path of the heart, but not some romantic notion of that, it was all about her becoming empowered. The relationship was a good lesson for her, but ultimately it was not supporting her to be all that she can be.

queenofhearts

I’m not in a relationship, but I’ve been feeling an attraction for the first time in almost a decade, and it’s been quite a journey! Of course all my old patterns in relationship have been well and truly triggered, and there’s been the opportunity to clear enormous amounts of my excess baggage. It’s been a blessing even when I’ve been in tears, not because anyone is behaving badly, (for the most part), but because my ‘reactions’ have come out of my old programming, and this is providing a golden opportunity to clear the past out of my cellular structure.

The more that  I clear away the old negative patterning the lighter I become, and the more I can move into embodying my larger self, the one that carries herself with a royal air, at the same time she emanates compassion and love for all things, especially her smaller ego self. And this Queen will settle for nothing less than a King at her side, a relationship of equals who support each other in fulfilling the tasks they have come on to the planet to undertake.

On Marriage Kahlil Gibran

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore. You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days. Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God. But let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

And just for a bit of fun check out another kind of Queen: Freddie Mercury!

Doorways To Peace.

The official opening of my local community centre brought even more people to town for a saturday than usual, and a regular saturday is pretty busy. On an autumn day that was hot enough to be high summer the music spilled out on to the pavement, people filling the hall and the cafes, a wondrous spirit of celebration infusing the sultry air.

I sang with my choir in the morning, we are all women and we call ourselves Sweet Chilli, on this particular day we were ‘hot’ chilli in more ways than one. Singing is such a joyful expression of creativity and also of craft, to be on the right note so that yummy harmonies emerge requires a well focused pair of frontal lobes!

hotchilliwhite

I sang, I mingled, I checked out the art market where my mother had her art work, and then off to the Harvest Moon Festival to sing once again with my gorgeous choir. By the time I got home I felt that peace that I was talking about in my last post, the cells of my body tingled pleasantly and I had a sense of being complete.

There are many doorways to inner peace, but having fun, expressing your creativity, and connecting with beautiful people, are particularly nice paths to take. The most important aspect of any of the myriad openings to that precious stillness, is that your heart be engaged and open.

heartchilli

If you find yourself moving out of that heart space, try breathing in and out of your heart for a bit with your eyes closed. As your heart softens and you sink into it, begin to radiate that love out into the world. I guarantee that you will begin to feel much happier and whatever took you away from that place will not seem quite so bad.

Be in your heart, be love……….

Shanti, shanti, shanti…………..

Peace, peace, peace……………..

Here is a brief clip of Sweet Chilli at the Maleny Music Weekend last year, this was my first gig with them!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPghO-y4M3s

The Burning Of The Feminine.

Somewhere between ecstasy and despair lies the deepest peace, as they say in the bible, the peace that passeth all understanding, it is the place where there is no thought. And where there is no thought there can be no reason to suffer, it is a stillness that holds us without judgement, a place where we can experience complete and unconditional acceptance of who we be. In all our glory and magnificence, with all our warts and dis-ease, the shadow and the light can be together without shame, becoming whole, and in that process an integration occurs that transforms our egoic small selves into something large and mysterious.

To get to this place we must be prepared to journey to the furthest reaches of delight and to the deepest pits of the darkest hell, knowing all this time that it is our own creation, all of it. As I take responsibility for my own manifestation in all it’s light and shade, like a coat of many colours or a multi faceted crystal, I feel a sense of liberation. The lighter I become the easier it will be for my newly formed wings to rise and catch the wind, to lift me from the life lived in half measures, to the fullness of the starry starry night. The moon smiles at me and invites me for  a visit, she holds a vision of my transformation that comes from the deep and mysterious realms of the feminine soul, that hard softness that will save the world if we let it.

Isis, Astarte, Diana, Hecate, Demeter, Kali, Inanna…………………..

Please take a look at the beautiful images that accompany this version of The Burning Times, that period in history when the feminine was under intense attack from all sides, particularly from the catholic church.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RntnpYTfpSc

moongoddess2moon_goddess

Sex Matters.

From joy and bursting life to an emptiness that is full of pain, as old beliefs fall away the light will always show us what we no longer need, and the letting go can feel like a loss too great to be borne. That void is the place of destruction and of creation, it can drive us to the manifestation of our brightest dreams, or our worst nightmares. It’s important not to try to fill it with anything at all, sit with it and feel the feelings, notice the thoughts and bodily sensations.

What I really would like to do is try out the energy masturbation that Nathan Martin demonstrated and perhaps I will before bed time. Feels like I will need a good bit of time available to do the full energy orgasm including setting the scene by creating a beautiful sacred space. The other practice seems like something I can do here and there as I have bits of time, and is a good way to prepare for the full body orgasm.

Orgasms, sex, anyone would think I was trying to sell something! But isn’t it a subject that most people are thinking about most of the time? Especially because we aren’t allowed to flow and be our natural sexual selves, people who are sexually liberated can think for themselves and we can’t have that can we! So if I’m going to truly come into my power (no pun intended!), then I have to keep focusing on sexual energy, keep shedding the armour that has kept me separate from that vital force.

“Osho Speaks on Sex:

There are methods that can start the energy moving upwards, and in the East, for at least ten thousand years, there has developed a special science, Tantra. There is no parallel in the West of such a science. For ten thousand years people have experimented with how sexual energy can become your spirituality, how your sexuality can become your spirituality. It is proved beyond doubt-thousands of people have gone through the transformation. Tantra seems to be the science that is, sooner or later, going to be accepted in the whole world, because people are suffering from all kinds of perversions. That’s why they go on talking about sex as if that is my work, as if twenty-four hours a day I am talking about sex. Their repressed sexuality is the problem. My whole effort has been how to make your sex a natural, accepted phenomenon, so there is no repression-and then you don’t need any pornography, so that there is no repression-and then you don’t dream of sex. Then the energy can be transformed.”

Sex Matters: From Sex to Superconsciousness, (Osho), in Tantric Orgasm for Women, ( Diana Richardson), Destiny Books, 2004, p 5 & 6.

tantricorgasmforwomen

Sex Is Everything!

Energy lies coiled in the base of the spine they say, I can feel it curling and caressing my sacrum, waiting for the opening, the opportunity to burst forth with great pleasure and joy. The desire to share this is powerful, but the first step is to bring it fully into myself, to give myself permission to experience pleasure bursting forth in every cell of my divine body!

Oh to have to wait, anticipate……………..there’s a choice to be made, I could be mad that time is not to be had………..mmmmmmmmm not a path that draws me to it. Or I could bring anticipation into every moment, convey the brimming life force into every ordinary activity, into every encounter as I move through the landscape of my existence.

My sexual energy infuses my whole life, I used to keep it in a separate box and only bring it out on special occasions, and my life was the poorer for it. Now as I allow this natural force to flow, so my reality is beginning to reflect a larger possibility for prosperity on all levels of my being. I can see it in my work on the crisis lines where my newfound clarity is cutting through confusion and despair, and helping me to truly HEAR and UNDERSTAND, feels like magic!

I am doing better business at my weekly market and having the most delicious connections with beautiful people, as the flow comes in myriad forms. I am beginning to connect with men who are conscious and aware, and while that may sometimes trigger my stuff it is of course a blessing, because it is clearing the way for more luscious energy to be freed up.

I become more happy with every day, with every shift and release of the baggage that has weighed me down for so long. The times I’m not happy I’m generally moving stuff through, and so it keeps moving until it’s completely gone, and there is a space left inside as my inner realm becomes bigger and bigger. We are so much more than we think we are, I believe indeed that we ARE infinite beings and that love is the fuel which can run everything from the heart space, the place which I call home.

Heartfelt blissings from an expanded and glowing being of infinite potential!

Quantum Fractal Energy Mandala: on Facebook.

Quantum Fractal Energy Mandala: on Facebook.

Realm of Innocence
From your innermost secret garden will flow Rivers of Living Light

In Love’s openness an entrance is granted to your Realm of Innocence, this is your secret garden a place of intimate magic and manifested wonder. You are an extraordinary soul-light in this dancing Cosmos. Your joy, your desire, your pleasure lights the way home. ~Keith Allen Kay

Ride The Orgasmic Wave!

sensual

I’m trying to let go of it, but I’m just the slightest bit embarrassed by one of my recent posts, when I expressed frustration about having all this life force energy flowing like a torrent, and where is my Beloved! That was what you might term an authentic moment in my emotional landscape, it’s a country that is always shifting and changing, and I know perfectly well that there are many ways to channel that powerful energy. I’m beginning to do just that as I read “Tantric Orgasm for Women” by Diana Richardson for the third time, and this time I am actually going to do the exercises in the book!

Focusing on externals never really works, whether it’s people or places or possessions, at the end of the day it’s how you respond to all of that which determines everything. So I need to really feel what is going on in my body, and work constructively with the strong energies that are moving through. I’ve only ever done it in workshops, but there’s a very satisfying way to channel those energies through the chakras and produce an energetic orgasm. Believe me it’s not some pale substitute, it’s truly orgasmic and takes you into that space of unity and love, where all the world is beautiful and every breath a song.

When my crazy week is over I intend to make the time to create this experience for myself, it’s always harder to do these things on your own but my motivation is pretty strong at the moment so I think I can do it! Time to love myself in the deepest way possible and ride the wave of love into my glorious NOW!

Check out this clip from Nathan Martin talking about energy masturbation, there is an opportunity to go on to another clip that shows Nathan working with a woman’s energy so that she experiences an energetic orgasm. I encourage you to watch it even if you feel a bit uncomfortable, I could feel my resistance as I watched but I stayed with it and surrendered to the feelings of pleasure in my body just from seeing someone else go there.

ENJOY sensual blissings!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IMCN6Sq-uA