I was very mindful now as I inched my way across the mini waterfall, it was very slippery and I only had one slightly damaged arm to help me along. The end of the walk should have been a relief but I was in a lot of pain, and there was still the hike out through rugged country to manage. We lit a fire and then I discovered that I hadn’t wrapped my things very well and my clothes were all wet, we hung things up to dry and I wore borrowed clothes. There was food but by this time the pain was so intense I felt nauseous and couldn’t eat a thing.
We contemplated staying the night there but I decided that I would prefer to try to get back to the house, so I put on my damp jeans and we began what for me had become one of the most arduous journeys of my life. The pain was incredibly intense, almost unbearable and it took an enormous effort of will to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I focused on my breath and began to breathe my pain into the embrace of Mother Earth, without that connection and support I don’t think I could have made it back.
Eventually I got back to the house which was full of beautiful people, many of them healers, who surrounded me with love and support. Even through my immense pain, I was beginning to understand that in walking the birth canal I had almost literally relived my own birth. I was induced, drugged and ripped out with forceps, then taken away from my mother for at least 24 hours, so it was an incredibly traumatic experience.
The difference this time was in the support around me, someone insisted on driving me to the nearest hospital, all they did was give me some pain killers but it was lovely to have all these people looking out for me. Most of them I hardly knew and yet here was all this love pouring out to me. I felt that I was rewriting my program around my birth, not something I would recommend to my clients but that was what I chose to create so it helped to start making sense out of it.
Almost at the end of this tale, join me tomorrow for the final installment!