I watched the most amazing film tonight, about a musician whose name I’ve always been aware of but whom I knew nothing about. Just hearing his music in this documentary began to inspire me, poetic lyrics talking about philosophy, politics, society, coming straight from the heart. “Well just climb up on my music, and my songs will set you free, well just climb up on my music, and from there jump off with me.” I definitely need to buy an album and get to know it better, the man is Rodriguez and his story is quite incredible, I had tears running down my face as I watched parts of this film.
His albums did absolutely nothing in America at the beginning of the seventies and so he went back to being a construction worker in Detroit. In the meanwhile his music somehow made its way over to South Africa where it inspired a whole generation of South Africans who hated apartheid, and who were searching for inspiration to change the system. Apparently he was bigger over there at that time than The Rolling Stones! But no-one knew anything about the man himself, and over twenty years later a music journalist discovered that their hero, whom they thought was dead, was still living in Detroit working at heavy labour.
It’s like a modern fairytale, Rodriguez went to South Africa and played to huge stadiums of fans, then went back to Detroit and his work. What impressed me more than anything else was his equanimity, whether he was playing to hordes of adoring fans, or going in to clean up a construction site, there was an acceptance of where he was and what he was doing. The Buddhists talk about bringing the quality of meditation into everything that they do, from the most extraordinary tasks to the most mundane. From what I saw of Rodriguez he is a master in this practice, he doesn’t give much away so I guess it’s hard to know what might really be going on inside. But there is a grace and ease in his body language, even as you can see pain in the movement, and to me that signals acceptance and surrender more than any words ever could.
I saw a man who brings a sense of the sacred to everything that he does, and surely that is something we can all aspire to, I know that I do. The most inspiring people are the ones who are in their fullness doing what they have come here to do, but who manage at the same time to be quite ordinary. Living an ordinary life in an extraordinary way!
Here’s the trailer for the film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QL5TffdOQ7g
And here is one of his songs, Cause, from the album, Coming From Reality: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKFkc19T3Dk
We live in a culture that doesn’t give much weight to the realm of spirit, if it can’t be touched, measured and weighed up by science, then it isn’t considered real. I don’t know about you, but I find that to be an incredibly limited approach to an amazing world filled with incomprehensible wonder for those who have eyes to see. Rather than dismissing the unknown because we don’t understand it, wouldn’t it be better to acknowledge the miraculous when it occurs and say, wow, here’s something wondrous that I don’t yet have the tools or the knowledge to comprehend.
I do get a bit frustrated when I consider how many people do actually live their lives, we are encouraged to skate along the surface of the pond, never wondering about the depths sparkling just below. Sink even just a little deeper into that space, and there are all kinds of treasures waiting, if enough of us began to do this the television stations would go out of business. I haven’t watched tv for about 13 years because my inner world is so much more fascinating, and let’s face it, somewhat more relevant to me and to my life. I go through phases of watching tv shows on dvd, but the last one ended as I was going through all those wonderful shifts, all of a sudden I completely lost interest in Buffy and her valiant crew of vampire slayers!
Now I am the heroine in my own story and the pay off is supreme happiness, moving into the shadow at times, but always coming back into the light, and each time I go through that process I become more expanded. Please please, don’t settle for a life half lived, where you end up may be quite different from what you imagine now, but you will be sooooo much happier for following your heart!
To Life in all it’s fullness and wonder, l’chaim!
I’d like to have a go now at bringing together my two current themes, and describe it as letting go into the stillness. There is a certain poetry in the sound and feel of that phrase that to me feels like I am standing on the edge of a cliff, ready to leap into the unknown. Like the fool in the tarot, I trust that this great leap will take me to wherever I need to go, I dance on the edge of all I have ever known and I fly!
Actually I did literally take flight a week ago, unfortunately it ended very quickly with me stretched out full length in the grass. I was rushing to get to my choir practice at the Maleny Music Weekend and very much in my old pattern of, mustn’t be late, mustn’t be late. Pretty straight forward example of an old pattern tripping me up, I was so in my stuff I failed to see the tent rope lying in wait for my unwary foot.
I believe the fall was also a deeper message or wake up call, I was under the impression I was doing ok in terms of awakening to my purpose, but spirit obviously had other ideas! And sometimes being physically shaken like that can shake loose old bits of stuff that we just can’t seem to let go of, I am simply thankful that my newly cemented teeth are still in place. I do feel very different once again, another shift has occurred although not in quite such a dramatic fashion as some of the earlier ones. It started with my teeth and continued with the de-cording operation that my entelechy performed ( if you missed it that story is in “I Love You But…….”), and here I am feeling like a new woman.
It can be a bit disconcerting because you are no longer in your comfort zone, the world is a different place and you are not quite sure how to behave. There is an adjustment period which I am still moving through and this is where the notion of stillness is so important. I have done a huge letting go of an ingrained pattern in relationship and the flow from this into the still place within is all a part of the integration process. I plan to enjoy it as much as possible, to be still even when I am in motion.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged entelechy, fool, integration, letting go, Maleny Music Weekend, old patterns, purpose, relationship, spirit, stillness, stuff, tarot
As a reader I often find that whatever I am telling my client has many reflections for myself, must be something to do with frequency that brings our energies together at a particular time. I mentioned a post or so ago that the message stillness was coming at me from all directions, well here it was again as I did a reading for somebody. So I’m looking at my day and realising that I haven’t actually meditated, except for a brief savasana (corpse pose) after my morning stretches, I know the idea of stillness is to bring it into other activities too, but there isn’t anything quite like just sitting in stillness.
I have another client soon and then I need to get a bit of sleep before my overnight shift, what better way to start my rest than to sit in stillness. In fact I have gone to work without sleep but having meditated, and been fine, sometimes a lot better than fine! The trick is to remember to do it, here I am going on and on about such things and I can still manage to forget, thank the Goddess that spirit keeps sending me reminder notes.
And in that place of stillness I can look at some of the issues that are swirling around me at the moment, they are pretty basic when you think about it, money and sex! Even though I am in a place of trust with both of these topics, my uneasy belly tells me that some old patterns are being activated, might have to think about another breath session before too long. In the meanwhile I need to spend as much time as possible in quiet reflection, I’m moving to a house sit in the bush in a week and a half and it will be the perfect place to do this.
Being in stillness doesn’t mean becoming a hermit though, I intend to find beautiful depths of myself as I sit quietly, and then allow that to emerge into my connections with all the gorgeous people I am fortunate to know and love. The love will expand and so will I, and the world becomes a better place…………….love and blissings to you all!
Some of you may have read my post on emotional cording a short while back, I would like to give some feedback on that subject which may give you more ideas on the different ways one can navigate through such a process. I was cording with someone and finally reached a point where I had to do something about it, part of me wanted to hold on to the connection but it wasn’t healthy and it had to go!
I had been doing my cord cutting from time to time, but I knew it would always keep coming back, there were times when I cut the cord and could almost feel it beginning to reform straight away. This person was in my energy field a lot and because it was someone I liked it was hard to set a firm boundary, even though I knew it wasn’t really appropriate. By the way this is not an example of someone doing this deliberately, I’m quite sure it was unconscious and maybe one day I will tell them all about it and we’ll have a good laugh.
Just cutting the cords wasn’t going to do the job so I decided it was time to pull out the big guns, I did a trance journey where I connected to my higher self or entelechy. I asked them to help me, they are really a bigger and brighter version of yourself, they know you really well but they are also connected to the unity consciousness so their resources are much bigger. My entelechy did a neurological operation on my brain and all I had to do was relax into nothing, as much as I was able to. After this I no longer had the sense of those cords forming, it felt like something very tangible had been achieved with my process.
Pierre Teilhard de Chardin’s definition of entelechy, “it is inside of you, like the butterfly is inside of the caterpillar ….. the dynamic purpose that is coded in you.”
You are the acorn, your entelechy is the oak tree!
The real test was to be in the presence of that person again which didn’t happen for a while, when it did I was amazed at the difference. The charge that had been there was completely gone, there were still feelings that had always been there but the intense blast from the past was not there at all. It’s making the letting go which I always knew was the right thing, much easier to do, what a relief!
So if you are encountering particularly thorny problems, don’t forget that you have incredible resources inside you that may be able to help you. You need to be able to drop into an altered state of consciousness, so if that is not already on your list of gifts to grow, I suggest you get on to it right now. Jean Houston is a wonderful resource and she sometimes teaches online courses that can help you to learn how to do this. Her website is: www.jeanhouston.org/
Letting go and being still, letting go and being still, letting the flow of spirit take care of things, giving my deepest desires over to God, Goddess, All That Is……… If there’s nothing you can do in a situation, then do nothing, simple really isn’t it, and it applies to a few things that are going on for me at the moment. Some is financial stuff, special kind of headache that one for me, and some definitely has to be taken care of very consciously, but some of it can be given over to a higher power and what a relief that is!
With the desire to be in a relationship the letting go is harder to do, but I am managing to get there, not abandoning the notion of moving into a conscious relationship, but moving myself away from the eggs all being in one basket approach. That’s been my emotional underlay in all my relationships, THIS IS IT AND SO I’D BETTER HANG ON NO MATTER WHAT! It really isn’t a good dynamic for healthy partnerships, which I see as two equals coming together to nourish and support each other so that each can be in their fullness. A dance of lightness and joy, of laughter and gay abandon!
If you don’t know what your dynamics are then I strongly suggest you start listening to your self-talk, what are you telling yourself over and over again, about yourself and the people you are connected to. You may need to find a form of therapy that helps you to tune into that voice, I think it was a combined bodywork and breathwork session that brought to my awareness the thought about having to hang on. That would have been in 2002 and here I am eleven years later still releasing layers of that particular illusion, don’t worry I’m probably a slow learner, with any luck you will move along much faster than I did.
She Let Go
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go. She let go of fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go. She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go… She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all of the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right. She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her day-timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go. She didn’t analyse whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go. No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go. There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that. In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.
The author of this poem is unclear. A few sites list Ernest Holmes as the author, another Jennifer Eckert Bernau and still another Rev. Safire Rose.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged awareness, bodywork, breathwork, fullness, God, Goddess, health, letting go, relationship, self-talk, spirit, therapy
At last the moment I always wondered about has arrived, I sit here with absolutely no idea what to write about, so I’ll begin by what is happening inside of me, and let’s see where that may take us. My belly is feeling uneasy again and I’m aware of a deep sadness that lies beneath my weariness, it has overtones of abandonment and loss.
The boundless energy I’ve been experiencing since my big release a couple of months ago seems to have deserted me, I hope it’s just a bit more rest that I am needing. Or maybe it’s time for more release, if that’s the case then I wonder what or who the trigger will be this time, I must remember to stay in my heart. Just tried to do some breathing in and out of my heart and I noticed some resistance, it’s like there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to let go of this feeling of doom, I wonder if that’s Nellie Needy.
I will do a little toning, then meditate and maybe see what writing comes from that space, perhaps you will meet brilliance in my next post with inspiration and energy fully restored! Then to sleep, perchance to dream!
I did tone and meditate and the message was loud and clear, go to bed and rest and so I did and here I am in the morning, uneasy belly and furry head. I am off to my two-hour yoga class very soon so perhaps that movement of body and energy fields will begin to stir the pot of creativity. I will set an intention to clear the fog and to free up my life force energy and who knows what will happen, I’ve had some big shifts in this class before.
Home again and the energy is flowing as I release sorrow and loss, the messages keep coming from all directions, be still, go within, don’t try to make anything happen, simply be………………….and so I shall.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged creativity, energy, heart, Inspiration, intention, loss, meditation, release, resistance, sadness, shifts, still, toning, trigger, uneasy belly, yoga
“Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive – the risk to be alive and express what we really are.”
Don Miguel Ruiz
This quote came through in an email I received, it was from a man who had just been through some big health challenges, where the fear of death was very present. Having come through it he was feeling a rush of energy and commitment to living his life to the full, I guess it was what we sometimes refer to as a wake up call. We’ve all had them, in a mythic story it’s known as ‘the call to action’ , in such tales our hero or heroine responds to the challenge and sets off on a journey of discovery. They meet allies along the way as well as new aspects of themselves and at the end of the story they come back triumphant to be acknowledged by their community.
Everyone has this opportunity at some stage in their lives, but how many actually grasp the chance with both hands and take the risk of being fully alive! It isn’t the easy choice, it will usually take you right out of your comfort zone, frighten the living bejesus out of you at times. But the alternative is to live in a comfortable mediocrity, always wondering what might have happened if you hadn’t been so scared.
One of the many good things I’ve found with getting older is that you care a lot less what other people think of you, makes risk taking a lot less riskier. My mother is a good example of this, at 71 she had her first ever art exhibition, and has been madly painting ever since. She sold some paintings at the exhibition but has a long way to go in order to be truly successful, and I am so delighted to see her determination to let nothing stand in her way.
Art by Cheryl Laizans.
Whether you achieve big successes with your dreams or not, the fact that you are following your heart is a recipe for a happy life. So don’t wait for life to trip you up and try to shake you awake, do it now, and now, and now!!
Just do it.
I’m beginning to really enjoy my little contractions and expansions, not always so little of course but I seem to be cruising through beautiful tropical waters at the moment, where the storms that sometimes blow up don’t last very long at all. That’s the thing about persisting with your healing and personal growth, you do begin to reach levels where stuff comes up, and you deal with it relatively quickly. You often don’t even need to go into any story associated with the feelings, just allow them to fully express and move on out.
One of the things I used to complain about was that no matter how big the release, the period of calm and peace that came afterwards never seemed to last very long. I wouldn’t even get as much as a day of clarity sometimes before something else would be triggered, so you end up spending a hell of a lot of time being ‘in your stuff’, with these little islands of peace bobbing up here and there. It really is worth it, at least it has been for me, I hardly recognise myself from two years ago much less five or ten, and ask anyone who has known me for a long time and they will tell you this represents huge improvements!
After a magical weekend at The Maleny Music Weekend I am feeling one of those contractions, it’s an uneasy feeling in my belly that has no particular cause. I was on a high all weekend, singing with my choir, listening and dancing to wonderful music, connecting with lots of yummy people, having a great time at my regular sunday market. It was a big expansion and so now I move through the contraction which is pretty minor, it certainly isn’t a storm, maybe a mist on the horizon that will be cleared by the sunlight of my afternoon out in the world.
To sunlight and love, to good music and good friends!
Here is a short video of one of the bands that played on the weekend, Gypsy Loco: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMeVwq54ljc
Neil Murray also played and this song brought tears to my eyes, it’s about Australia: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1YIQtuTx7I
The darkness doth swallow me and no matter where I look, no matter where my footsteps take me, despair and misery follow at my heels, hopelessness dogging every step. How can I go on and yet what other choice is there? The voices of traumas past cluster inside my soul until I am wont to scream, but my voice is caught inside the prison of my self-made armour. To reach for succour is but to polish that armour and make it strong, no comfort can take me to the bright dawn that is waiting upon the other side of forever. The only way forward is to sit with these feelings that drag me down into an icy pool of horror and loss, abandonment and madness.
And that’s what I did, I sat with those feelings, much of that time is hazy in my memory’s eye, but there are moments that do stand out in the fog. A time when I was on the edge of the abyss and wrote the mythical story of my life as a tool to clamber back over the lip of the cliff on to solid ground. I began with my birth and wrote up to the moment that I was in, then I continued the story to a triumphant conclusion, as you will find in any good mythic tale. By the time I came to the end of the story I had gone from the depths of despair, to ecstasy and joy.
My time in the desert cracked me open in ways that I didn’t really understand at the time, I knew that things had shifted on a profound level of my being but much of what was occurring was below my conscious knowing. The spiritual emergence that followed was harrowing at times, but I don’t regret a moment of it. I don’t believe that everyone has to go through something like that, but for me it was necessary, and the gifts that have come from that time are a rich bounty that continue to support and nurture me in my growth.
I am grateful that my evolution comes now more through bliss and joy, and that the moments of darker challenge are like bubbles floating up to dissolve in the sunshine, merging into all that is, the unity consciousness that is beneath all things.