Monthly Archives: May 2013

Namaste.

Sometimes you just have to have that bit of naughtiness, winter seems to bring that on for me, the season where I have to watch my weight. It can creep up on you, so better to keep track and get off the sugar or grain wagon and go back to being pure. What is it about the cold that makes me want to eat and eat! Putting on a layer of fat to get through the winter months I suppose but that’s hardly necessary, I am getting a bit trimmer these days but there is still plenty of padding to get me through the cold.

Time of Entertaining rolling into the second half of the journey, what will have happened to our cast list, many new and masculine energies coming in, going out, trusting the process………..  I am so much in my power and to be in partnership it needs be with one who can hold space for that in a life, not just in the classroom. Time to forget about the practice and to just do it, take what you think you know and go off and test it in the experiential realm.

shiva-and-shakti-grey-dancing

He is straight forward and our communication is honest and transparent, we like each other and don’t play games unless for fun and agreed upon! I am met in my fullness and inspired by his expanded and awakened masculine, even more of the woman I be is drawn out as the energies move between us in the eternal dance of Shiva and Shakti. We dance, we play, we sing, we tone, we have as much fun as we know how to with, as often as possible, healthy ingredients.

shiva-shaktionacid

This is my time here at the last, the end times………..transformational, inspiring…….loving even those who cannot love themselves, staying in my heart even as I set firm boundaries. Greetings my Beloved, your coming is divinely inspired and I am so grateful for your presence and your love.

Namaste

Namaste

605 up, 144 down
an ancient Sanskrit greeting still in everyday use in India and especially on the trail in the Nepal Himalaya. Translated roughly, it means “I bow to the God within you”, or “The Spirit within me salutes the Spirit in you” – a knowing that we are all made from the same One Divine Consciousness.
The more formal greeting Sanskrit Namascar pronounced NAH-mah-scar is also used in India, though less frequently in Nepal.   The Hindi “Jai Bhagwan” is also in common use, and carries the same meaning

Gather In Elegance, Have Fun!

Gather in the souls, be sure of your connections, your community, be there for your community in the way that serves both you and the wider picture, in  a way that serves you and all life everywhere. The more we can really connect in a heart centred way, gaze into the soul of another being, without judgement, love ourselves and others just for being ourselves. Life can be quite simple at the core, supply certain basic needs with ease and we have time to explore elegant solutions to the so-called problems of civilisation.

heart-brain

The main problem being that civilisation is a bit of a misnomer, we are extremely primitive in this current culture, indigenous cultures have a lot to teach us about what really counts on our journey on this planet. Being in your heart as much as you can, trusting your intuition, being sustainable in your practices, becoming what you want to create, spiritual alignment, inner peace, having a sense of belonging.

The time for hermitting is over, time to gather in the hearts and the souls with which you resonate and to celebrate, connect and connect, with love and with joy…………………… So don’t sit at home and hide, life is waiting for you to engage, what are you waiting for??????????

We are all longing to go home to some place we have never been – a place half-remembered   and half-envisioned we can only catch glimpses of from time to time. Community.   Somewhere, there are people to whom we can speak with passion without having   the words catch in our throats. Somewhere a circle of hands will open to receive   us, eyes will light up as we enter, voices will celebrate with us whenever   we come into our own power. Community means strength that joins our strength   to do the work that needs to be done. Arms to hold us when we falter. A circle   of healing. A circle of friends. Someplace where we can be free.

Starhawk

Follow Your Flow.

What an interesting journey it is to re-enter a life in a higher powered vehicle, feeling the effects of raising my vibration, through shedding as well as conscious intention to manifest my highest good. I have entered an intuitive flow that can sometimes change quite suddenly, I surrender to it and it takes me on a slightly different tack, I call it fine tuning. Life seems to be handing me gifts from all sides, messages come through just when I need to hear them and they are getting pretty clear!

I shifted from having a night at home with a few friends, food and movie,  to connecting with a groovy new household and on to my community and tribe who often tend to meet up on this particular evening. The music was stellar quality, one of those lovely nights where you get to have some great conversation but just have to stop often in order to listen to the wonderful sonic offerings. And I just had to dance to some of those fabulous rhythms, can’t understand how people can hear that music and not move their bodies!

There were people there who are very dear to my heart, and there are some challenges amongst us, we are coming together to support as a community. The hearts are there and I seem to connect with openness, everybody seems to like me and there is a feeling that I can be who I am, without judgement. Oh the dancing was good tonight, I am feeling the most delicious expansion in my ribs when I move and flow, its energy that tickles me in a very sensual way, almost like making love to myself.

dance-party

Dancing on the dark verandah to Alicia Keys, coming in for one song so I could use the floor, beautiful wooden floors, eating left over desert from that May 10 Taurian New Moon eclipse as I integrate the cellular shift brought in by the Sagittarius Full Moon and eclipse. That’s quite a mouthful wouldn’t you agree? Not as hard as it might seem, if you can find your flow and trust it is amazing how much synchronicity seems to guide your path forwards.

Here’s Alicia singing, ‘Never felt this way’, nice version.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xpc1t9_alicia-keys-never-felt-this-way-piano-i-aol-sessions-1_music?ralg=int.meta2-only#from=playrelon-11

Lead on my third eye, and St Germaine, and the Archangel Micheal…………..on, on, on to the Golden Age!

Monsters Under The Bed.

I spoke of how the energy of this house I’m living in at the moment, has been good for relationship, and that it didn’t happen exactly as I might have imagined. Of course I’m only half way through my time here, so I’m sure that there are more exciting events on the way, quite apart from the four dinner, movie nights I have scheduled! Not to mention the dinner for six that is happening tomorrow night. The entertaining has gone well and has gone pretty much to plan, it’s more the romantic side of things that was different, and that’s something I can lay fairly and squarely at the feet of Fay Fairytale.

This is not to lay blame elsewhere or avoid responsiblity, Fay is a part of me and if I can’t keep her in check nobody can! And as I said in my last post, she conspired with the object of my admiration to trigger lots of stuff that I am much better off without, I can trip lightly through the world now, dance in the sunlight! It also brought me to a place of power in giving me the chance to speak up for myself, and that is something that happened here in this place. So easy to create sacred space here for whatever occasion I might be planning, the energy is already flowing beautifully, all I need to do is make adjustments according to what is going to happen.

And so I took my courage in both hands and I spoke, and it wasn’t perfect, I didn’t get the response I would have liked and in retrospect I wish I had been more challenging. But what truly matters is that I did it, I’ve been in the process of moving on ever since and part of that is to be ok with the fact that I could have done better. Last time I looked I wasn’t perfect, oh well, I think I can live with that one! Every time I meet a challenge that terrifies me I become stronger and more whole, the monsters under the bed are starting to look pretty tame.

Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak.

Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak.

My Wild Woman is sick of slaying monsters, all she wants to do now is kick up her heels and have fun!

The Classroom.

I anchor into the world by doing ordinary tasks, cooking, cleaning, looking after animals, I organise the wood and I wash the dishes. Of course this is all happening to the sound of the bell birds, and wherever I look I can see green leaves and sunshine, inside all the different grains of wood keep me connected to the natural world. I’ve been on a wild ride, and it’s time to come back to the mother, the earth, grounding into the energies that sustain and nourish us all, this way I might actually be able to make some sense of the lessons I have learned.

Bell birds.

Bell birds.

gumtreesQLD

And the curriculum in the classroom has been what? Well, there are many subjects here but the most important one is probably trust, not so much trust of another, but of self. I ignored advice from dear friends, I let Fay Fairytale override my intuition, I chose in a pretty conscious way to be in denial of what I knew to be true. So you could say that I didn’t trust my deeper knowing, on the other hand perhaps there was an even deeper knowing that wanted me to have the experience in order to activate the enormous amount of material that I’ve shifted in that period. We are talking about from the Summer Solstice last year, up to the present moment, I am a very different person to who I was then.

My intuition has grown enormously in this same period, there is more space for it and I trust it more, it told me things about this house that I am living in and it has all come true, although not necessarily as I might have imagined it. I had a feeling there might be a death with the animals, but I put it aside not wanting to borrow trouble, well one of the guinea pigs decided it was time to shuffle off this mortal coil, and I now realise that it was a premonition. I also felt it would be a good house for relationship and communication, I’ve done more entertaining here in two and a half weeks than I’ve done in many years!

Community and connection, is even sweeter over the sharing of a meal made with love………………………………

Generation Of Hope.

Just for a change of pace, I’d like to share with you an inspirational video that gives me great hope for humanity, these young people look to me like future humans, I wish I had my act together the way they do! And apparently more than 50% of the world’s population is under 25, so they also carry the weight of numbers. There seem to be a few different names for this generation, but I’ve known them as Generation Y, one of the speakers in this film speculates that it may represent the fact that it is the generation that is facing a real fork in the road for the future.

And that’s the most important story on the planet is it not? Whatever else we may do with ourselves as a people, we require an environment to do it in that will support us, the number of people who are waking up to this is so exciting. I got really excited about the Occupy Wall Street movement when it started, since then there has been Occupy Earth and a movie has come out called Occupy Love, haven’t seen it yet but planning on buying the dvd and showing it in my community.

generationy

I shared a house with a couple of young men who were Generation Y and was impressed with their ability to decide what they wanted, and to then plan on how to get there, none of the dithering and self-sabotage I seem to have specialised in! Of course there are those in every age group who are still asleep, but we don’t need everyone to be awake for this to work, and in the new world we will create, it will be a lot easier for those of us with more trauma to focus on our healing.

These kids are the internet generation too, and with the ability to connect instantly, the possiblity of change happening really quickly becomes much more likely. The Golden Age can’t come soon enough for me, bring it on my young friends, you are the people we’ve been waiting for!

It’s perhaps the best of times and
the worst of times, but there is
no time for distractions anymore.

Here’s a video with dozens of young
voices expressing how they feel about
their influence and potential impact
at this turning point in history.

“We are writing a different story than
the one we have been led to believe is
inevitable.”  says one young woman proudly.

Video: (9:28)

http://www.nextworldtv.com/page/9991.html

The Pity Party.

My Wild Woman is urging me to throw off my sad cloak and to throw myself into the fray with every bit of me that’s available, she wants me to have FUN, FUN, FUN…………and I couldn’t agree more! There may be waves of sadness still at times in my future, but there will always be grey days even in a Technicolor life. That is the light and shade of a life well lived, the landscapes keep on changing and there is always more to take in and enjoy.

wildwoman

The other night when I was in that grieving process, I ended up on you tube looking up unrequited love, soppy I know but I bet you’ve done stuff like that, you’re just not game to admit it! The songs just weren’t doing it for me and so I watched a clip from Leah, who is a very smart young woman giving advice on how to deal with unrequited love. She is so spot on with what she says, I was reminded that dance is a way that I process difficult feelings, and that the most important thing was to be in my life fully and passionately. She has lots of other cool things to say, check it out, she’s obviously one of those awake Generation Y kids (See my next post Generation of Hope).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEIlp9Q4R1Q

From there I ended up listening to Abraham, channelled by Esther Hicks if you haven’t heard of him, he talks a lot about creating the vibration that you want to attract, well moping around and sobbing sporadically isn’t going to bring you anything you really want is it? The last clip I listened to was Dating Abraham Style and that really got me out of the trough I was wallowing in, not that a little bit of wallowing isn’t ok, but you don’t want to spend your whole life there! Abraham kept saying, (about dating), its supposed to be fun, don’t keep saying, is this the one, is this the one, just get out there and have a good time, the rest will take care of itself.

So I’m taking that advice to heart and going to a party this weekend, I’m actually driving an hour away up the coast, usually its hard to pry me out of my wonderful little town but there are times when you really do need a change of scene. I intend to go without expectation, with an open heart and the intention to have lots of fun meeting beautiful people and being myself in all my fullness!

Here’s that Abraham clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vL3lm1Inplc

The Father Weeps.

raintrees

Winter descends with a grip grown icy, and begins to weep and weep, mirroring my own deep sadness, gentle, but pervading my entire being, soft and spiraling down. Every new beginning contains the end of all manner of things, as I move through this transition with as much grace as I can muster, almost gliding along at times.

The death of a small animal that was mine to care for, the death of a dream that was never actually mine, the shifts and changes in relationship and the opening of new doorways. What seemed exciting the day before is hollowed out by nature’s sobbing, the deep relaxation found in the meditation at the end of my morning practice is still there inside me, a huge white space that holds the promise of freedom, yet feels cold.

This is not misery nor despair, it is not loss nor is it abandonment. The truth is that this is not completely mine, I take responsiblity for the emptiness for that is where I source my true power, ’tis where my fullness lies. But the sadness comes from another, a deep connection that does not want to be severed, it fears to embrace the glory of the fullness that was open to its seeking tendrils, yet neither can it let go. Attraction and repulsion playing an inner tug of war beneath the level of conscious awareness, am I perhaps going into madness, and yet my intuition is quite sure of what it knows.

From Oracle of the Dragonfae by Lucy Cavendish.

From Oracle of the Dragonfae by Lucy Cavendish.

Before I sat down to write I took a card from Lucy Cavendish’s Oracle of the Dragonfae, Gwynne and Elluish, which told me that my connection to nature is getting stronger and that my intuition is growing with it, and that I will be receiving messages from my own inner knowing that I can trust. So I tend to believe what is coming to me in the way of that knowledge and I break that deep connection with much love and great respect, there will always be love, after all, where could it go?

And as I do this the sadness begins to lift, leaving only the emptiness…………..pregnant with the dawn of a new day that is almost ready to peep over the horizon………..my inner smile grows……as Father Sky continues to weep and weep.

Love This Moment (It’s all you’ve got!)

“Peace is present right here and now, in ourselves and in everything we do and see.
Every breath we take, every step we take, can be filled with peace, joy, and serenity.
The question is whether or not we are in touch with it.
We need only to be awake, alive in the present moment.”

An amazing sense of having my life back envelops me in presence, how we can stray and become lost without even realising that we are no longer fully here, in this moment. How long have I been gone I ask myself, and cannot find an answer. I guess I must have popped back from time to time, even if it was simply to write these posts, a wonderful exercise in being present!

There are moments of drinking in nature’s gifts of green leaves and sunshine and listening to the bell birds that have happened over and over again. I remember this clearly, so perhaps I’m being a little bit hard on myself, memories of preparing food with love and talking to quarrelsome chooks and squeaking guinea pigs. I have been here, but I’ve also been spending too much time in an imaginary future that never ever had foundations, I knew that on some level but I chose to be in denial for a time.

So now I AM HERE!!!!! In this body, in this beautiful part of the world, in a life full of love and connection, stimulation and passion, and good old-fashioned fun! Enough of the misery and tears, letting go of the pain and the anger, and if there is even the tiniest bit of resentment, scraping it out with ruthless intent. My favourite definition of resentment comes from Carrie Fisher, not only Princess Leia from Star Wars, but also a very funny author, she says that “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

Princess_Leia

Well I’m not going to waste my time waiting for another person to trip themselves up with their own stupidity, they can do that quite well enough on their own. Mmmmmmm………do I note a little bit of anger in that last statement, ok so I’m not perfect, but I’m working on it already! The best way to let go of all of that is to be in my life as fully as I can, and to have fun no matter what I am doing.

LET THE CELEBRATION BEGIN!!!!!!

Brave The Storm!

I keep thinking of that Split Enz song, ‘Six Months in a Leaky Boat’, I’ve recently had ten days that felt like being in a storm on a boat in the middle of the ocean, there were calm spells but the storm kept coming back, and I felt incredibly battered and bruised by the end of it. The sea of course is representing my emotional state of being, the trigger was very much outside of me and created a swirling vortex of mixed emotions. And finally I began to allow myself to feel anger, I know I always say, “Don’t blame the trigger”, but there’s nothing wrong with righteous anger in response to inappropriate behaviour, as long as you don’t go out and kill someone, however much you would like to!

stormatsea

The trick here is to keep focusing on what is happening for you, express your truth to another if that’s what’s needed, but have no expectation on how it will be received. The most important thing is to speak it, if the person you are communicating with chooses to disregard possible insights that may be there for them, then that’s their business, and really, do you actually want to be in charge of sorting out someone else’s crap? I didn’t think so, well neither do I, so I’m doing my best to let go of the need to be right, and to be at peace with the clarity that is now crystal clear around me, as clear as the night sky in my haven in the bush.

There is a sense of freedom and liberation that is becoming more and more expanded in my being, the grief grows less and less, and I can open into the inner space that has suddenly become available. It’s happening very fast so I guess I was ready to go there, with all the shedding I’ve been doing the inner realms would have to be becoming more streamlined!

Moral of the story, never give up no matter how long and bloody the road, follow your intuition and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. And always be true to yourself, even when it scares the bejesus out of you!

Here is Split Enz singing ‘Six Months in a Leaky Boat’, even more apt then I remembered, when you strike out to explore new territory it can get pretty uncomfortable, but go for it anyway!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeKdUeb1InI