I spoke of how the energy of this house I’m living in at the moment, has been good for relationship, and that it didn’t happen exactly as I might have imagined. Of course I’m only half way through my time here, so I’m sure that there are more exciting events on the way, quite apart from the four dinner, movie nights I have scheduled! Not to mention the dinner for six that is happening tomorrow night. The entertaining has gone well and has gone pretty much to plan, it’s more the romantic side of things that was different, and that’s something I can lay fairly and squarely at the feet of Fay Fairytale.
This is not to lay blame elsewhere or avoid responsiblity, Fay is a part of me and if I can’t keep her in check nobody can! And as I said in my last post, she conspired with the object of my admiration to trigger lots of stuff that I am much better off without, I can trip lightly through the world now, dance in the sunlight! It also brought me to a place of power in giving me the chance to speak up for myself, and that is something that happened here in this place. So easy to create sacred space here for whatever occasion I might be planning, the energy is already flowing beautifully, all I need to do is make adjustments according to what is going to happen.
And so I took my courage in both hands and I spoke, and it wasn’t perfect, I didn’t get the response I would have liked and in retrospect I wish I had been more challenging. But what truly matters is that I did it, I’ve been in the process of moving on ever since and part of that is to be ok with the fact that I could have done better. Last time I looked I wasn’t perfect, oh well, I think I can live with that one! Every time I meet a challenge that terrifies me I become stronger and more whole, the monsters under the bed are starting to look pretty tame.
My Wild Woman is sick of slaying monsters, all she wants to do now is kick up her heels and have fun!