Monthly Archives: June 2013

Let The Feelings Flow.

As the cold deepens, the energy of the dark womb draws us within, Demeter is mourning for her daughter and her grief is cold as ice, as cold as the underworld where Persephone has gone. The emptiness contains all that we have pushed aside in busier and brighter times, when distractions are easy to come by, and the shadow merely an interesting shape created by the sun’s rays. But now the trees are bare, and though the sun still shines from deep blue skies,  the pull comes from within, our shadow clamouring for our attention.

Surrender to that call, let go into the stillness that you will find as you descend into your own private version of the underworld. What is it that you cannot own or accept as a part of who you be, what aspects of self have you demonised or judged as being unworthy. That which remains unacknowledged can never be transformed or set free, so let yourself be………….all of who you are, this is the key.

We all of us have parts of ourselves that we don’t like very much, if you try to ignore this truth, if you push it down into the deepest part of your being, it will become even more powerful. It will control you from a place that you may not easily be able to access, the longer this goes on the more layers will gather and the harder it becomes to identify and therefore release. Here is a piece I wrote about how I did this very thing with the guilt I felt over my father’s death when I was 15:

My guilt was a mountain the size of Everest and I buried it as deeply as that mountain is tall.

The guilt festered away in the dungeon of my soul and within a brief few years it had eaten away it all, my self-esteem, my sense of worth, my love of self was gone.

It was in the midst of terrible storms on Australia Day that I realised that I had at last rebuilt my self-esteem, 33 years after burying that which I could not face or acknowledge to myself. To read more about that check out my post “Rebirth” on January 30 2013.

Rebirth

This one act of mine shaped my entire life, I cannot regret it for it has brought me to where I am, but I offer my experience as a lesson hard learned. No matter how painful it may be, allow your  feelings to move through you, express them in the moment and let them go, just keep doing that until you are clear, as long as it takes…………..

Shanti, shanti, shanti…………peace, peace, peace…………

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Out Of The Cocoon.

I was reflecting the other day upon the butterfly theme that keeps cropping up in my posts on a fairly regular basis, for a time I considered it to be one of my totems. It probably isn’t so much these days, the snake has well and truly taken over that role, and it represents the really deep shedding from my core that’s been happening for the last two years, particularly since the summer solstice of 2012. The world may not have ended, but it certainly went through a huge shift, and for myself, I feel so different it’s as if the world did finish at that point in time.

But for a time in the early naughties the butterfly was my symbol, it represented transformation and freedom, I always loved the idea that the butterflies were tasting the petals with their feet as they danced from flower to flower. A butterfly came to visit me at the end of 2001 when my mother and I were setting up the stall for our last Woodford Folk Festival on Christmas Day. I kept shooing it out, the tent was baking hot and not a good place for such a delicate creature. I thought it had gone but towards the end of the day I found it, it had been determined to stay with us, and I was touched that it had chosen to spend its last day with me and mum.

Butterfly in flight.

Butterfly in flight.

I felt that the butterfly had come to tell me that it was my time to come out of the cocoon and to begin my transformation, I was about to do my first deep shamanic training starting on January 2nd, and so the timing was very significant. It was the beginning for me of fundamental change that came from a deep exploration of my being, and the release of cellular memory, the beginning of the long path home.

This Moment Is A Gift.

heart-music

I drove to my evening job with a song in my heart and on my lips, I’d had an awesome day of connection with myself and with other gorgeous people, my car was singing too after finally receiving it’s somewhat overdue service. After having lunch with a nice man, having started the day with yoga,  I felt a brim with possibility, not attached to anything in particular, but really feeling into the truth that I could create my desires by lightly dancing through my life. Bit of a contrast to some of my more recent experiences, I’d refer you to a particular post but there are so many, if you are curious then scroll through May, and you will find lots of intensely emotional and turbulent swirlings of feeling to peruse.

stormy-sea

About two hours into my shift I could feel a big knot of tension in my gut, I tuned into it and asked if I had taken anything on from any of the callers, but the answer was a no. Oh bugger, not more of my own bloody stuff, I had a bit of a go at doing some tapping but it wasn’t really possible to do it properly and work. Eventually I thought to check my phone and there was a message from the friend who is caretaker of my boxes in Sydney saying that he didn’t think he would be at the same house for much longer, which would mean me getting my boxes asap. It was too late to call him but at least I now knew what the energetic belly ache was, my intuition had picked up on the message long before I actually listened to it.

I love this friend of mine but it’s important not to take him too seriously, I’m getting those boxes up very soon and it will be absolutely fine, however my belly was concerned. I had to do a lot of soothing and convincing to get this part of me to let go of its fear, after all what’s the worst possible scenario, I might lose the lot. That would be a shame, but I haven’t seen what’s in some of those boxes since 2009, there’s a whole lot I wouldn’t even remember. I still haven’t been able to get hold of my friend, but I have let go of the fear for the most part. It keeps trying to come back and find other issues to hang on to, but I give it a firm push away and bring my focus back to this present moment.

When you are truly in the moment of NOW, there’s generally not much to get stressed about, the things we worry about are usually in the past or the future. So don’t borrow trouble from those distant places, BE HERE NOW and love the moment you’re in!

Here is Eckhart Tolle talking about the NOW, his message is simple and profound: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkgNIJLpBEI

I Love What I Do!

How is it that I don’t work full-time and yet I have these crazy days where I have to consciously spin my thoughts into positive channels in order not to get stressed out! There’s yoga, meditation, choir practice, writing posts, then throw in meal preparation, household tasks and a bit (actually quite a lot) of a social life, and you can probably understand why. It’s a choice I keep telling myself, so find a way to navigate through it, or make some changes!

Michael Leunig.

Michael Leunig.

The thing is that all of these things that I do bring me great joy, and that includes the work that I do as well, of course there are challenges in there but that is a big part of what helps us to learn and to grow so I’m not about to ask the Gods to take that away. Remember, you have to be careful what you ask the Gods for! So I try to maintain a balance, it’s important to do stretches and meditation most days, but if doing that on a particularly busy day is going to really stress me out then I don’t do it. Not much point in yoga and relaxation if the doing of it actually produces anxiety.

yogasun

It’s important to have spiritual, mental and physical practices that support you in living your life, and they need to happen on a regular basis. But being rigid about anything, even healthy things, is not part of a program of happiness and well-being. So the first question you need to ask yourself is “Am I happy?”, then look at what in your life is supporting that state of being and what is not. The ideal is to be able to let go of anything that isn’t supporting a happy state but if that’s not possible then consider how you might view it differently, as I said in my last post, change your thoughts about the situation.

The more that you are doing activities that you enjoy, the happier you will become, and you will probably maintain that even when things get busy and a bit crazy. You tend to be a nicer person to be around and that means that you are likely to be getting good vibes from those around you, it all accumulates and builds, imagine a world where everybody is doing this!

Happy Noise.

I speak a lot about the way in which our thoughts about what is going on, are what really cause our suffering much of the time, change the thought and you shift the feelings. I had a great example of this the other night that I would like to share with you, even though it’s relatively simple I actually feel quite proud of myself, here I am using my knowledge and understandings to navigate my everyday life. I mean how often have you done things pretty much the opposite to the way you know would be easier and probably more graceful, most of us have a lifetime of self-sabotaging habits that kick in at the slightest trigger!

So let me set the scene here, I’ve spent the afternoon moving into my new house sit and getting settled in, organising my stuff and making friends with the cat. I could have the whole night to do this but I really, really want to go to dinner and the movie at the community centre with my dear friend, so I’m having to move quickly and feeling a tad anxious about getting everything done. There’s also the pressure to get posts written and not have too late a night as it is a market day tomorrow.

I get home having had a lovely night at the movies, great food, company and I loved the movie, “Hyde Park on Hudson”. I wrote a post and then got ready for bed and it was at this point I finally focused on something I had been doing my best not to notice, a house nearby was having a big party, flashing lights and dance music pumping out. “Just what I need on my first night here” I thought to myself, it’s a particularly quiet area where I am staying so it seemed rather ironic. Then I realised that my thoughts were not going to be helpful in the situation, and so I decided to focus on the fact that these people were obviously having a wonderful time, I would perceive the party as a happy energy radiating that quality out into the night.

dancingfigures

The tiniest tweak of consciousness but it did the trick, as I lay relaxing towards sleep I didn’t even hear the noise most of the time, when I did it didn’t bother me at all. You see what I mean about it being simple, but if you put enough simple things like that together you start to build a wonderful life where everything flows with ease and grace.

So be it, so be it, so be it…………………………..

Here is the trailer for “Hyde Park on Hudson” if you would like to check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQaScjiWDyY

Tapping Into Bliss.

The butterflys are fluttering in my belly again, and yet I am pretty content in this moment, sitting here with my laptop, with a view of trees out the window and the cat snuggled up against my foot having a wash. I wonder sometimes if there will ever be a time when I don’t get stuff coming up, it’s hard to imagine what that would be like, probably not what being here on earth is all about anyway. I ran into a friend in the street yesterday and we agreed that while it was uncomfortable at times, that we are here to be in school, and this is one of the most common lesson formats.

I met someone who was very clear about ten years ago, Grant Mcfetridge of the Peak States Institute, and he said that he still got triggered sometimes, but he would then clear it in a few minutes. Grant’s work is very interesting, he theorises that specific traumas in our developmental process block particular peak states of consciousness. He says that these states are our birthright and I tend to agree with him. He also recommends other therapies such as EFT, or emotional freedom technique, where you are focusing on what you want to shift as you tap certain points along the meridians. Grant’s web site is: http://www.peakstates.com/

peakstatesofconsciousness

I just paused to do some tapping on the feelings in my belly and while they are not completely gone, they are greatly diminished. If I keep tapping it will probably go completely but I’m not sure if I have time, oh what the hell, I will pause again and keep going! ……………. So I did and now it feels like a little ball of ecstasy, this is such a simple technique and so effective! To check out more about tapping here is Gary Craig’s web site, the founder of this therapy: http://www.emofree.com/  Lots of other people offer tapping as well, I would recommend going towards whoever your intuition guides you to.

The Matrix.

I just watched an inspirational video of Marianne Williamson speaking at a rally against Monsanto on May 25 in Venice, California, she has an incredible gift for hitting the nail on the head when it comes to what is being done to this planet by the dominant culture. She’s focusing on America in particular, and they probably are the worst offenders, but one of the characteristics of what she describes as “the multi-national corporate matrix”, is that in reality they hold no loyalty to any particular country. Acquiring and holding power by any means, and creating profits regardless of whether you are actually providing a good service that is needed by the community.

Marianne Williamson.

Marianne Williamson.

When governments rely on these corporations to obtain the necessary funds to get themselves elected, how can we possibly have democracy? By “the awakening of whole people” who are following a path of non-violence, we have some wonderful examples of the power of this approach, Gandhi is probably the one that springs to mind most readily. Marianne mentions a quote I would love to share with you:

When Lord Mountbatten looked at Gandhi, he said to Mahatma Gandhi, “Little man, do you think we’re going to just give you India?” And Gandhi responded, “Yes.”

Gandhi.

Gandhi.

We are so much more powerful than we could possibly imagine, let’s stand up for what we believe in, there are a lot more of us than there are of them.

Author Marianne Williamson makes the point that the problem we face with GMO’s is broader than one industry and one issue.
She speaks about what it will take to regain stewardship of our democracy and to be released from US corporatocracy in this empowering speech made on May 25th 2013, the global March Against Monsanto, in Venice, CA.

Video (19:55) http://www.nextworldtv.com/page/23562.html

If you would like to read a transcript of this speech you will find it at:

http://www.runningthecountry.com/marianne-williamson-speaks-at-march-against-monsanto-in-venice-ca/