As the cold deepens, the energy of the dark womb draws us within, Demeter is mourning for her daughter and her grief is cold as ice, as cold as the underworld where Persephone has gone. The emptiness contains all that we have pushed aside in busier and brighter times, when distractions are easy to come by, and the shadow merely an interesting shape created by the sun’s rays. But now the trees are bare, and though the sun still shines from deep blue skies, the pull comes from within, our shadow clamouring for our attention.
Surrender to that call, let go into the stillness that you will find as you descend into your own private version of the underworld. What is it that you cannot own or accept as a part of who you be, what aspects of self have you demonised or judged as being unworthy. That which remains unacknowledged can never be transformed or set free, so let yourself be………….all of who you are, this is the key.
We all of us have parts of ourselves that we don’t like very much, if you try to ignore this truth, if you push it down into the deepest part of your being, it will become even more powerful. It will control you from a place that you may not easily be able to access, the longer this goes on the more layers will gather and the harder it becomes to identify and therefore release. Here is a piece I wrote about how I did this very thing with the guilt I felt over my father’s death when I was 15:
My guilt was a mountain the size of Everest and I buried it as deeply as that mountain is tall.
The guilt festered away in the dungeon of my soul and within a brief few years it had eaten away it all, my self-esteem, my sense of worth, my love of self was gone.
It was in the midst of terrible storms on Australia Day that I realised that I had at last rebuilt my self-esteem, 33 years after burying that which I could not face or acknowledge to myself. To read more about that check out my post “Rebirth” on January 30 2013.
This one act of mine shaped my entire life, I cannot regret it for it has brought me to where I am, but I offer my experience as a lesson hard learned. No matter how painful it may be, allow your feelings to move through you, express them in the moment and let them go, just keep doing that until you are clear, as long as it takes…………..
Shanti, shanti, shanti…………peace, peace, peace…………