Monthly Archives: September 2013

Bug Wars.

Posted on September 30, 2013 | Leave a comment

Once again I find myself dancing with the bug that keeps coming back to haunt me, if things really do come in threes lets hope that this is the last time! I’m feeling much better since my counselling session last week and doing my best to take care of myself while still doing the things that need to be done. I’ve been working on my writing project as well as reading “The Art of Non-Conformity” and inspiration is flowing, although as I sit here writing this post there are butterflies dancing wildly in my belly.

dancing with butterflies

I didn’t wake up with this feeling and am not sure what triggered it, but at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter what it was. I could say it was a thought that obviously didn’t serve me but that wouldn’t actually be accurate, whatever is moving in me needs to move on, and the trigger is a necessary part of the clearing process, so I bless and honour it. But I don’t enjoy the feeling at all, in my days of unconsciousness this is what would drive me to try to blot everything out by getting stoned or drunk.

Now I sit with the feelings and breathe, bringing the notion of devotion into the equation, devotion to my healing process, to the sharing in this blog, devotion to all the special people in my community, and one in particular who is having a birthday today. As I do this the energy in my belly moves out into my arms and legs, and then starts radiating out into the aether as if I have become a small sun. I begin to breathe in and out of my heart and what was a kind of anxiety has transformed into excitement and anticipation. Now I’m feeling a bit light-headed and there is a sense in my body almost as if I could start to levitate!

Wow, what an interesting and quite spontaneous shift! The imagination is a marvelous gift and if you allow it free rein it can take you anywhere you need to go, a good reminder for me as I continue with my writing project and the development of this blog.  And my sense is that if I can balance self-care with doing the things I am passionate about I will win the battle of the bug, so be warned denizens of the micro world, this gal is no push over, her immunity is strong!

cartoon-bug

Balance is the theme here as we are heading towards a New Moon in Libra next saturday, but more on that subject later, for now farewell dear friends, good health to you all!

PS: When I finish this post I am going to go for a brisk walk, excited energy is needing to be channelled, transformation of anxious energy motivating even more self-care!

Leave a comment

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Body Remembers.

Posted on September 29, 2013 | Leave a comment

Isn’t it wonderful how exactly what you need turns up at precisely the perfect moment, I’m talking about a holistic counselling session I had a couple of days ago. A friend who is studying was looking for guinea pigs, and so I thought why not, I didn’t really think I needed a session, but it’s always interesting to experience different approaches to therapy. If you happened to read my post “The Truth Of The Heart” a couple of days ago, when I referred to myself as the human yo-yo, you are probably wondering how I could possibly think that I am not in serious need of deep therapy.

All-Screwed-Up

The thing that is on the top of my list of priorities to deal with is the way I keep going into overwhelm and stress, finding income from writing being a part of that but not necessarily the only solution to the issue. So that was what I took to my session, we ended up with a statement about exploring why I feel that way and to move into inspiration, flow, and inner peace. Then I found an actual moment where I had felt the overwhelm very strongly and stepped back into that space, very reluctantly I might add.

I tuned into my body and it was my neck and left shoulder where I was feeling the stress very strongly, it was like a big black blob on my neck blocking the easy flow of energy in my body. And let’s face it, the neck is a fairly critical spot to be all choked up, so it was very freeing to take that blob and throw it away. I kept doing it until it was all gone, then it was the shoulder’s turn, and for that I needed help. So I called in St Germain and the Archangel Michael, Germain held me while Michael used his sword of truth to cut out the black spot in my left shoulder.

The difference after I had done this was very noticeable, the pain in the shoulder was gone and I felt much lighter and happier. Talking therapies can only take you so far, then you need to find ways to access the source of your issues, wherever they might be held in the cells of your body. It wasn’t until I began to experience body based therapies that fundamental change started to happen in my life, even then it took a while, but don’t be dismayed, you may not be as damaged as I was!

More about my session in another post, here is an example of a body based approach known as Gestalt, the child of Fritz Perls: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbOAdMdMLdI

Leave a comment

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

The Silence Of The Bees.

Posted on September 28, 2013 | 2 comments

There are a lot of scary things going on out in the big, bad, world of agriculture, our food supply is being threatened on many fronts. It’s bad enough that our food is being contaminated by pesticides and GMO crops, the soil losing it’s mineral content, but what if most of that food simply wasn’t there anymore? That’s the frightening possibility that we are facing with the decline of the honey bee, this tiny, humble creature, along with the other pollinating animals such as butterflies, are responsible for the continuance of three-quarters of plant species on the planet.

honeybee

This has been going on for decades all over the world, but in more recent years it has become much worse, in 2006 as many as 80% of the bee population disappeared in only 6 months in America, the same phenomenon occurring all over Europe as well. Scientists eventually found a virus that may have caused Colony Collapse Disorder, where the bees disappear from the hives, but it seems likely that even if that is so, it was simply the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Pesticides are implicated in this story and so is malnutrition which comes about because the bees are being fed on a single crop diet that may weaken their immune system. There is a province in China where the farmers actually pollinate the flowers themselves after the bees were all killed by pesticides, it is a frightening glimpse into the future that we are creating unless we can find a way to do things very differently. Here is a link to an article that seems a bit sensationalist but has good information about pesticides and their effects on the food chain: http://worldtruth.tv/russia-warns-obama-global-war-over-bee-apocalypse-coming-very-soon/

There are a lot of good reasons to do something about this disaster, and much of it is to do with self-interest, seems hard to motivate people to change otherwise. But there is also the fact that we are supposed to be caretakers on this planet, living with and respecting all the other life-forms that we share our environment with. In the documentary “The Silence of the Bees”, they show the worker bees doing a dance called the waggle dance, they are telling the other bees about food sources that they have discovered, giving them directions. This touched me very deeply and brought a smile to me face, bees deserve to be saved just because they are so amazing and beautiful!

Here is the documentary, “The Silence of the Bees”: http://www.nextworldtv.com/page/24202.html

2 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , , , ,

The Truth Of The Heart.

Posted on September 27, 2013 | 1 comment

The absolute truth cannot be realized within the domain of the ordinary mind. And the path beyond the ordinary mind, all the great wisdom traditions have told us, is through the heart. This path of the heart is devotion.

The Buddha.

Meet the human yo-yo, from gratitude to fear and stress! You guessed it, I am finding it fairly challenging to stay in the present moment, the strange thing is that my fearful thoughts came up while I was laying down in savasana at the end of a fabulous yoga class. Mmmmmm maybe not that strange, sometimes a class will integrate and calm and at other times it will stir things up. Initially as I lay there I could feel a lovely tingling in the cells of my body, almost as if I was floating, then monkey mind decided to take a trip into the future and suddenly the yummy lassitude was littered with money worries.

humanyo-yo

It was a busy day where I had to go pretty much from one thing to another before heading off to an overnight shift, so an afternoon sleep was in order as well. I rushed through the shopping I had to do and then rushed home to get on with everything else that had to be done, wishing I could skip it all and just go to sleep for the rest of the day! I was cleaning the bathroom sink telling myself that none of my worries were here in the present moment, that I was borrowing trouble from the future, when I suddenly remembered about devotion.

And that one thought changed everything, if I see everything that I am doing as an act of devotion it seems completely different, becomes lighter and easier. It also brought me fully into the present moment so that the concerns over future affairs melted away, I still felt a bit stressed about the busy day but the levels had gone right down.

It always seems to come back to the heart in the end, and devotion is the magical spell that brings me back into that space…………….sometimes magic is a lot simpler than we realise!

Ohm shanti, shanti, shanti…………..with heartfelt blissings………..

1 Comment

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

The Magic Of Gratitude!

Posted on September 26, 2013 | 3 comments

This post just has to be about gratitude, I’m feeling so full of appreciation for so many wonderful things that are in my life. Sunshine and hot weather, a supportive mum, heartful connections within an amazing community, the opportunity to connect on deep levels with the land, and an absolute abundance of good music just down the road at my local club which is a co-operative. I have found a place to be where my heart sings and inspiration comes from every direction!

But my gratitude for the people in my life goes way beyond the community that I live in, in the virtual world there are many I have never met who feel like the dearest of friends. And of course I am particularly grateful for those of you who have chosen to follow my sometimes whimsical and often quite strange meanderings through my own personal healing journey. Your commitment gives meaning to what I’m doing in this space, I love to write and explore in the realm of spirit but to truly be a writer you need people to read your work so THANK YOU EACH AND EVERYONE!!!

I feel as though I have learned a lot by setting out on this adventure, my original goal of improving my writing skills has definitely been achieved, although there is of course always more to be discovered and learned. But I’ve come a long way and it’s time to start thinking about what my bigger goals might be for this blog. The real challenge is going to be thinking about goals for the future while still being in the moment as much as possible, you may recall that part of my message from spirit over the Equinox weekend was not to be thinking too far ahead.

Sounds like a bit of a contradiction doesn’t it, well I will simply have to find a way to do both, in the extraordinary world we live in all things are possible. And after all I am becoming more and more witchy, just need to find the right spell!

cartoon-witch

Abracadabra!!

For a little musical magic here is the Steve Miller Band with “Abracadabra”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWPQQbldFjw

3 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Destination Unknown.

Posted on September 25, 2013 | Leave a comment

Well I’m back in this strange reality that we have all agreed to participate in together and feeling soooooo much better about it than I did yesterday. I was aware of fear and doubt moving in my belly this morning, much diminished from the day before, to me it felt like a shimmering energy moving upwards to be released. I went out into a stunning and hot day to dive into two hours of a yoga class that took me deeply into my inner realms, helping me to process and integrate those swirling energies.

This image comes from what looks like a wonderful business that brings yoga into the workplace: yogaworkflow.com

This image comes from what looks like a wonderful business that brings yoga into the workplace: yogaworkflow.com

Now as I sit here writing I’m aware that there is still movement down below, but I’m detached from it, it’s a kind of stepping back that happens internally. It allows the process to continue as it needs to, but you are no longer attached to the discomfort or whatever feelings are going on. I find yoga to be a wonderful way of moving into this space, but you need to find a class that acknowledges the practice as not only physical, but spiritual and energetic. I am very fortunate in that I have two amazing teachers who support me in my practice on all levels of my being.

yogaimage2

As always I recommend that you explore the possibilities, and find the modality that works for you, dance, meditation, chanting or toning, challenge yourself and get out of your comfort zone, you might be surprised at what ends up working for you. I like having as many tools as possible, doing the same thing all the time just doesn’t work for me, variety is an absolute necessity in my life. But you know, it doesn’t actually matter what you do, as long as it works!

I’m looking over at “The Art of Non-Conformity” and reading the sub-title, “Set your own rules, live the life you want, and change the world,” sounds like an excellent plan to me, and in my more positive frame of mind it seems much more likely than it did yesterday. I’m still not quite sure of the how but the only way to find out is to keep plugging away, sometimes you just have to keep going even when you have no idea what the final destination might be.

So on, on and onwards, to destinations exotic and unknown!

Here is a video with some basic yoga for beginners, but if you don’t have any movement experience or a pretty comprehensive body awareness then I would recommend going and doing a class. If you do a pose incorrectly you can hurt yourself, and if you learn it right the first time there are no bad habits to undo!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3vLZqPZxZE

Leave a comment

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Coming Back.

Posted on September 24, 2013 | Leave a comment

From expansion to contraction, waking to a day where I don’t have to do anything, and then feeling like I am not being very effective in anything that I’m doing. Uneasy belly wants me to go back to bed and stay there, but I force myself to get on the lap top and begin the process of looking for a subject for this post. The subject ends up being how I can’t seem to settle on anything today, not exactly something that is going to set the world on fire.

I have a look at “The Art of Non-Conformity” and even that is not rocking my boat, I guess I could try going back to “Tantric Orgasm for Women” but I suspect even that won’t lift me as it usually does. Then I hear Kookaburra calling and I am reminded that laughter is a wonderful medicine to lift the spirits, even listening to the sound and my belly quiets down a bit. I’ve been noticing the sound of the kookaburra quite a lot lately, could it be that I need to lighten up a bit?

kookaburra

It’s easy to fall into the trap of taking life too seriously, especially when you are coming out of expanded states back into consensual reality, just acknowledging the fact begins to reduce the stress. Then I take a few deep breaths and I begin to tune in to the stillness that is always waiting within, the cicadas outside begin to sound and my belly softens as I let go of tension. And in that still space I begin to realise that my fears and doubts have been stirred up in the sacred space over the weekend, this is the discomfort that I need to sit with and it’s ok to be feeling like that.

Thank the Goddess!

Here is an intepretation of the meaning of the Kookaburra: http://solacetemple.wordpress.com/2007/11/10/kookaburra-a-spirit-bird/

Leave a comment

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , , ,

Spring Fever.

Posted on September 23, 2013 | Leave a comment

So we have passed through the Spring Equinox and birthed into the energy of new growth and blossoms, it is a strong current this year of 2013, we are poised upon the edge of change. Just not sure how many years that edge represents, but certainly in my life time, and I expect to be around for the next 70 years or so.

blossoms

So what to do with that burst of growth, I will keep listening to the land for what I need to do in the way of ceremony, on the earth. My new-found staff held the feminine energy in the fire circle for the Equinox, initiated into the land and creating a connection with the land from which it was birthed, strengthening the song line and holding space for healing and anchoring. I am beginning to get a sense of how to begin to decorate the staff, I think it may come one step at a time but I will begin to look out for the right crystals.

But the answer to my question? Why do absolutely whatever it is that you really, really want to do, live your dream as you step into your fullness. Don’t feel like you have to do things the way they’ve always been done, mmmm……reminds me of “The Art of Non-Conformity”, another book to read, what a lot of yummy resources there are out there for our delectation. As you can probably tell I am in a juicy space after a beautiful Equinox, I’ve dropped some of my niggling doubts about my knowing, as well as surrendered to the fact that maybe it’s ok to have doubts and to simply sit with the discomfort.

But more than anything, to be true to self, to love self as deeply and profoundly as you can, I have a friend who always says, “Love Self, Do Next Thing”. I think this sums up how I need to navigate through the next little while, being that present requires a huge faith, a faith that keeps getting fanned higher so I never fall out of it for long. The biggest part of that process is having the encouragement of a hearted and beautiful community for whatever it is that I might want to explore, in public or in private.

girlfriends

Because you know I don’t tell you absolutely everything, a girl has to have some privacy! Only my good girlfriends get that privilege, do you have someone you could tell anything to who really ‘gets you’? If the answer is no then please think about how you could create that in your life, it is such an amazing support even as life challenges us.

We couldn’t get by without a little help from our friends, that’s what Joe Cocker reckons: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKnkOTTwitw

Leave a comment

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sweating The Big Stuff.

Posted on September 22, 2013 | Leave a comment

The heat scours me clean, breath filling all of me as it spirals from the milky way down to the core of the earth, keeping me grounded with my head in the stars. Greeting the stone people as they come bearing the gift of fire, of purification, thank you Grandmother, thank you Grandfather. Calling upon Father Sky, Grandfather, father, the Pendragon, the masculine essence, feeling my masculine energy and coming into Divine Union within, the perfect balance between the polarities. Strong masculine energy supporting, protecting, healing, loving, caring…………….

The Dance Of Attraction.

The man danced around his love

she swayed from side to side

then turned and fell quite trusting

as he caught her in his arms

Kerry Laizans:copyright Sept 2013

I burn and it is good, stripping away all illusion, whatever remains in that space has the ring of truth to it, perhaps my answers to the Gods have already been answered. Do be careful what you ask for, in the sacred inipi your strong intention can become your reality, in that space anything is possible. Clearing away whatever does not support a vision of fullness, of fulfillment of the tasks of spirit, clearing the body, mind and soul, all levels of beingness.

Gabrielle Roth talks about sweating your prayers when you dance ecstatically, sweating in the lodge has a lot in common with the dance medicine, there are so many good medicines out there these days. I hope that you have found the ones that work for you, always be prepared to open to new possibilities, life is ever-changing and fluid. Try to swim in the ocean of love more than you are “in love” with any one person, if you find someone who can swim with you in that ocean then well and good. And never forget that the most important thing of all is to have fun!

I mean with all of it, spiritual development and evolution, all kinds of relationships and connections, life is meant to be playful and light, enlightened. Let us dance lightly upon the earth as we connect with each other and ourselves, ohm shanti, shanti, shanti…………..

Leave a comment

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

It’s All About Love.

Posted on September 21, 2013 | 2 comments

“It’s all about love. We fall in love with ourselves the minute we see our true Being. There’s no other option. It’s so beautiful. If we really believed that we were worthy of love – and that, in fact, we are the love that’s waiting for us within our own hearts – every second of our day would be different. Every single second. Immediately.”

~ Krishna Das 

This quote really struck through to the core of me, I have been falling in love with myself for a while now and I have shed a lot of layers, but is there still a layer or two in the spiraling levels that my heart holds that may not have completely let go? I am the closest I have ever been to that place, have experienced it while journeying in deep spaces, know that in some ways everything else that is going on is a distraction, and yet it all does serve a purpose.

The seconds of the day are very different for me than they were even 6 months ago, much less a year or more, but it can shift some more, there is always room for expansion. When I reflect on the shift I can see that self-love really is at the core of what has changed within me, the critic speaks less and less, more and more I allow myself to deserve abundance in all areas of my life. And I am harvesting, not always in the way I thought I would but when you give things to God/Goddess you have to surrender to the way in which your intentions come to you.

godgoddesstree

In a talk by Ram Dass he tells a story of how his guru told him to love everybody and to speak the truth, if you haven’t listened to Ram Dass I highly recommend him. I decided to take on loving everyone as a spiritual practice some years ago when I was still in the big city and it was a most enlightening experience. I realised that I was judging people all the time without even realising it, every time I noticed this habit I changed it to loving the person instead. This brought me into a beautiful loving state every time, do this often and you are beginning to approach being in that place of loving kindness more often than you are in consensual reality, which tends to be a bit more dour.

A good reminder which I am going to take on for myself, although I tend to love everybody where I live because I live surrounded by beautiful people, it will be interesting to see if it seems much different.

Love is all you need.

Fierce Grace is a beautiful documentary of an extraordinary soul who describes his stroke as “being stroked”, if you don’t have time to watch it now save it for later, it really is a deeply moving story.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYXOfc-u5dk

And here is Krishna Das chanting “Ma Durga”, one of my favourites, chant along with the music and feel the vibration of the Sanskrit language, it has a lot of power.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_6jiNy9m9E

2 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,