In an attempt to slow myself down a little and get over the latest bug invasion, I find myself watching re-runs of Sex and the City, if you’re looking for something light and airy that skates over the surface of the bigger issues in life then you really can’t go wrong with this show. I managed two episodes and was into the third when suddenly I couldn’t do it anymore, it’s actually very well written and there are some very funny lines, but in the end I reached a point where the complete lack of substance tripped my boredom meter into overdrive.
I just hope that nobody has ever used this program to inform themselves about sexuality and relationships, there’s all this conversation about the mechanics of intercourse and whether people should be monogamous or have threesomes. Ok so they do get into subjects like trust from time to time but it’s usually in the context of someone cheating in a relationship, nowhere is there the slightest hint of spirituality and even love is somehow trivialised.
I think of myself as a bit of a novice in the relationship game, and what experience I do have doesn’t give me much to go on, it’s all part of a chapter that is closing and my intention is to do things very differently as I move into this new phase of my life. In order to transform the old into something shiny and new I actually need to focus on myself, becoming whole in the parts of me that are still resistant to all of the great inner work I’ve done over the years.
At the start of my second morning of study earlier in the week, our facilitator said something that has really stuck with me ever since, if you ‘know’ something but aren’t using it in your life then do you really ‘know’ it at all? There isn’t anything in the course I’m doing so far that I haven’t heard before, and I’ve incorporated lots of that information over the years into my life to produce big change. But there are some very basic fundamentals that haven’t really changed much at all and this is very much crunch time for me, all I can do is trust that I am in the right place to find the tools that will help me to break down the final barrier to my fully becoming all that I am.