Well here I am on the ‘other’ side and I came through in a gentle fashion, I must confess to being somewhat relieved. I can’t tell you what I let go of or even exactly what information came through, I think that we sometimes receive downloads from spirit that only come into our conscious awareness when we need that particular knowledge. So I went deep and came out feeling peaceful and calm and with an enormous sense of gratitude for my extraordinary life. To share sacred circle space with your Beloved is the most exquisite joy and something I’ve been yearning for, it was certainly on my wish list when I used to think about the kind of relationship I wanted in my life.
After the ceremony the terror did return but I was not so attached to it this time and so it was much easier to ride the edge and to allow the energy to be released. As I sit here writing I can feel a trembling in the cells of my body that is the shift which is flowing out of the letting go of tension and fear. I will do the psychotherapy session that I have planned and I will continue to be with my Beloved in those deep places where we open to the Divine together. And I will continue to listen to my inner voice in order to know how to support the physical side of this affair, if I am truly honest there is always a part of me that knows the right course of action. And more and more I do actually follow the guidance of this inner wisdom that we all have access to. And if I don’t sometimes I promise faithfully not to give myself a hard time for it, it only makes matters worse!
So the journey continues and as I let go of self-loathing and terror I open the path for positive energies to flow freely in my life, as my good friend Michael Laughing Wolf always says, “Love self, do next thing”.