There’s an old paralysis moving through me, it’s a slow energy that can while away hours reading, it feels uncomfortable and manifests as uneasy belly. Now that’s something I haven’t talked about much lately, I’m sure it’s cropped up here and there but I process my world very differently now that I am with my Beloved and the focus tends to be on us rather than me. So when he is away for a few days I sometimes find it difficult to find my place within myself, there are things to be done and I don’t want to do any of them.
In the end all I can do is surrender to the overwhelming nature of this slow energy moving through my body and get things done as best I can. Instead of spreading the tasks out over a longer time I may end up with a busy end of the week to achieve it all. And who is to say that isn’t a perfectly reasonable way of going about the daily tasks of life, the part of me that thinks there is a ‘right’ way of doing everything is still trying to give me a bit of a hard time.
That old paralysing feeling used to prevent me from doing anything once upon a time, I would have trouble even getting out of bed! Now I can choose to see it as a part of me that stops me from going too hard at things, the bit that wants to take life easy. As long as I’m having a good life and no one is being hurt then the details of how it happens are pretty much up to me.
Then life changes suddenly and unexpectedly and my energy for doing kicks in as I centre myself by doing physical tasks. Bringing in washing and organising the compost, finding a spare key for our new flat mate. Change not completely unheralded but was expecting a phone call to arrange the possibility rather than someone simply turning up on the doorstop.
At the end it is all ok, simply a matter of adjusting to the new circumstances and getting on with what is a wonderful life in the Magic Kingdom. And now I am really glad that I spent all that time reading, I had a really good relax for what might be the last time I will have the place to myself. Really looking forward to the return of my Beloved…………… blissings to you all!