I spent yesterday moving from a strange museum like house with plumbing to match its 18th Century architecture, to a couple of rooms under what used to be a church. Some might consider it to be going a bit downhill in the world but my Beloved and I couldn’t be happier! Our rooms have a very low ceiling so it feels like we are living in a hobbit house. The grand mansion was very gloomy as such places often are but this cosy little burrow is full of light!
I have come to realise that I am rather fond of cosy, not for me the far flung views of a house on the edge of mountainous peaks. I’d like to live in a fairy cottage in a forest clearing, perhaps with some nice views not too far away. Anyway I am living in a colourful chaotic mixture of things packed and unpacked at the present moment. We will no doubt play with our organisation of the space until we find the best balance for our needs, it has a lot of potential.
So I am going to love you all and leave you so I can focus on being in my wonderful new space. See you next week!
If you keep saying yes to things that sound exciting you will further your cause even if not a one comes to pass in the everyday tangible world. Of course some of them will but there can be times when simply considering an idea is enough to get energy moving, even if it ends up going in a different direction to where you started. My Beloved and I were considering the possibility of sharing a market stall at a festival and we had a meeting to talk about it that was fun and inspiring. In the end we aren’t going to do it but I have some positive energy moving from that experience that can now flow into other projects.
Just as well there are lots of positive bits popping up in the constant sea of change that still appears to be the energetic conditions of this particular time. The home environment that my Beloved and I are currently living in is not conducive to our being grounded and centred. Through nobody’s fault we are temporarily sharing space and for us it makes it much noisier than we are accustomed to. Even though I love music I often just have silence, especially when in a quiet place. And I haven’t watched television for 15 years!
But it is giving me good reminders about mindfulness and how spiritual practices can really support us when we are going through tough times. I spent some time this afternoon cleaning and I chose to think of it as a devotional practice. I saw myself radiating out love and harmony and peace as I worked, I could feel it flowing out of my hands. I thought of the gurus who say: Feed people. Serve people. Help people. Come back to basics and the things that are required to be happy and comfortable in our bodies, having a sense of purpose is just as important as getting food and rest.
It all matters and I am determined to keep riding the wave of change and adventure to the next exciting destination! Aho!
In my dance with the prospect of bureaucratic nightmares I kept telling myself I would have a really productive day. And my definition of that was that I was happy and content and that the things that truly needed to be done, were done! A lot of being in the moment and in the body with walking and dogs and dancing, lots of it all in just a few days so legs are sore but spirit is nourished. When I dropped in to my body’s desire I knew that I wanted to be free and independent and in my power. To believe in myself and what I want to create in this next phase of my exciting life with my wonderful Beloved. Who knows maybe we will even get back to running a workshop before too long.
So I decided to go it alone and put my time and energy and focus as much as possible on to positive activities. They may involve animals or gardens at a house sit or marketing or research for various work projects. We have our new home base and it is just perfect for us, like our own little flat in town that we can drop in to any time. And probably see clients there too so although there is still a lot of change it is all starting to feel like it might be settling down a bit. As much as it ever does in these times of shifting sands!
There will probably be fears coming up as I move forward into these changing times and it will be a grand opportunity to let go of more of what is in the way of me stepping into my power. That was what my two dances were about, the one my Beloved and I ran and the one I attended that was facilitated by 5Rythms teacher Honor Morningstar. Dance is definitely good medicine for me, I will have to try and get into Brisbane some time for more dancing. Maybe in and out of the city with car pooling might make it a bit easier, hard enough having to go off the hill, in to the city can be a bit too much for us country folk.
My Beloved and I all dressed up and dancing! Photo by Antara May.
Guess I will keep listening to that inner voice that seems to be taking me in positive directions in my life. Easier to do when you have had a lot of feedback that tells you that your intuition is generally correct. Even I have to start believing in myself when it gets confirmed over and over again.
In this modern culture I have done my best to be a free spirit, avoiding the dreaded bureaucracy that seemingly forgets the human spirit represented by our customer service numbers. But there are times when you simply can’t avoid the necessity of connecting with that energy and it can be very challenging to maintain a brave face as the unwieldy beast struggles to do its job. Underfunded and with an online system that would be considered a joke in the commercial world of business, that’s what those who live on or near the bottom of society are forced to contend with.
I’ve managed to avoid it for some time now but as I go through the shifting sands of my working life I need to make sure that there is a safety net to catch me if I need some extra support. So all this palaver may be for nothing at all, if that is the case I will remember to be grateful for that which brings abundance into my life. Sometimes when we do things for ourselves the return energy doesn’t always come from where we expect it to. But if you are putting positive energy out into the world it really does brighten your existence.
Just remember that there are times when you may be emptying out that which gets in the way of a flowing and abundant life. That’s why the tough times can be so useful even though it definitely doesn’t feel that way. Attempting to connect with the bureaucratic monolith of human services has brought up a whole lot of feelings that I would have preferred not to re-experience. But the thing is those feelings were already inside me and by sitting with them I allow the possibility for that energy to move on and transform. So I had one really uncomfortable day and then one that ended up with great humour, sometimes the only possible defence for sane people in an insane world!
The task is not complete, the dragon not yet bearded in his den. But I have a song in my heart and a life full of love to be appreciated so I can only expect that it will all happen in perfect and divine timing.
Here is Pink Floyd’s exploration of that crazy machine called Bureaucracy!
My Beloved emerged with birthing pains as I reached deep into myself and found the Mother in me with roots deep in the ground. So connected to the earth I was able to weather the storm and hold the space until he was safely out of that dangerous threshold between life and death. You do not always have to die in order to discover your deepest fears, call upon the Gods and they will answer you but it may not always be in the way that you might expect.
I have found my strength in the journey of trust that my Beloved and I have walked hand in hand, it is beginning to go deeper yet. The more that you trust the more that your life will flow along the course of the intention that you have set. The intention is important, to have a vision of what you are creating held before you in some way, shape or form. Of course the flow of synchronicity may go through what seem like ups and downs but it is always heading towards the best possible result.
The constant sea of change is in full flow and there is still a great deal of uncertainty but a safe port has been found and the port, no the ports in the storm have been lovely! Confused? Well so am I, feel free to read over the last few posts if you would like to catch up on the shifting sands of my recent existence. Lots of reasons to be very grateful at the amazing life I get to lead and time to go to bed so I can step into a brand new chapter tomorrow!
See you in the dawn light of that new day my friends, hooray!