Tonight is my Beloved’s first meditation class which I am very excited about and looking forward to immensely. Mindfulness is the main theme and a very useful concept for just about anything you could possibly think of. Particularly handy when doing things such as driving a car or operating heavy machinery but the applications don’t stop there! Washing dishes, talking to your boss, explaining to your kids where babies come from, all helped enormously when you are truly present to what is occurring. Being mindful in communicating with your lover may be what creates a long-lasting and satisfying relationship, and help you to avoid unneccessary conflict.
Simply noticing what you are habitually thinking and telling yourself about you and the world around you can be a life changing affair. Of course you will probably find that a lot of your self-talk is fairly negative and that can be a bit discouraging. Sometimes becoming more mindful can seem like not such a good thing when it takes you into such a negative space. But hang in there anyway if you possibly can because there is a light at the end of the tunnel. This negativity is inside you all the time so it is affecting you even when you aren’t aware of it. By bringing it into the light of awareness you are creating the potential for healing.
And sitting with uncomfortable feelings is something that I talk about quite a bit on this blog because it is one of my main methods of shifting old patterns. Become mindful of what is going on inside of you and then sit with whatever comes up until it clears. And of course employ whatever methods or techniques that you may have discovered along the path as you transform old energies and beliefs into a wondrous new way of being in the world.
Here is a link to my Beloved’s website and an article on meditating with soft hands and a warm heart: http://www.deepbreath.net.au/meditation/soft-hands-warm-heart/ And if you are lucky enough to live somewhere near the magical kingdom of Maleny here are the details of the class: http://www.deepbreath.net.au/meditation/
Last week I went into the fire on the New Moon, later that night a dear friend began his journey into the great beyond. He was a fabulous communicator who was like Rudyard Kipling’s Kim, a friend to all the world. He was also a tantric master for my Beloved and I and taught my gorgeous man all about how to receive pleasure. See my post “From Tantric Cats To Wholeness In Love“. He was good-looking and sure of himself and had all his ‘hooman’ minions perfectly trained to serve his every whim. His name was Pushkin and of all the cats I have known in my life he was the best!
When you lose a much beloved pet it is no different to the loss of a human being in my experience. You move through the pain more quickly but it is no less sharp, and for my mother it has left a huge hole in her life. Everywhere she goes in her house she is reminded of her black prince, she misses stroking that amazing soft fur and going to sleep with a purring weight on her legs. Pushkin is buried in the garden and we had a wonderful ceremony and wake for him with lots of lovely friends. As my Beloved was reading out the poem he wrote for Pushy an owl flew in and perched on a wire just above the grave, it gave me goose bumps!
Pushkin’s Grave on the night of the ceremony and wake.
It feels like this event is a part of an amazing new beginning for mum but that doesn’t take away the pain. Just because you believe in there being a reason even for horrible life events doesn’t mean that you have to like it. The energetic pattern of shifting sands seems to just go on and on and on……I do so miss my furry brother and would turn the clock back to change the outcome if I could. But all I can do is surrender to what is and try to support my dear mother as best I can.
Purification by fire was my experience yesterday as I sat in the New Moon Women’s Sweat Lodge. I was on day 5 of my moon time which means that my body temperature was already higher than usual, so being in the lodge on a sunny morning meant extreme heat. Probably sounds horrible but going through an ordeal within a sacred framework can be enormously helpful in terms of spiritual growth and development. I got lots of confirmation that my recent choices in speaking up for myself and standing my ground were appropriate responses to the situations I found myself in. In fact I was told that Spirit had organised to eject me from a place of limitation that was no longer supporting my growth into a larger self.
I generally am very stubborn about sticking things out however uncomfortable they may be but on this occasion I had to leave the sweat before the end. I was just too hot and probably on the verge of making myself sick so it was actually a case of being compassionate to myself. And it carried its own message, being stubborn can be a useful quality but only if I choose the right things to be stubborn about. As I lay in the shade outside the lodge an aboriginal woman squatted down in front of me and took my hands. I realised that she was a giant and she said she came from the Dreamtime and was one of the first ones. We spoke of many things at the same time that I was aware of the other women inside the lodge. The aboriginal woman told me that I never really left the lodge and that she had come to help hold me in that sacred space.
I felt that I had left behind a whole lot of things that I no longer needed in that purifying space of heat and fire. It can be a bit like being reborn and probably even more so when it is aligned with the new moon. The new moon was in Libra so it was all about things(especially relationships) being in balance and equitable, extremely pertinent to the issues I have been facing in the last few weeks. Check out my last couple of posts if you don’t know what I’m talking about. So I had a productive day today finally getting on to tasks that will greatly assist in creating the abundant new life that my Beloved and I are determined to make into a reality.
There will continue to be good days and bad days I am sure in this shifting constant sea of change that we are all swimming in. But I have taken the next step in becoming more of who I am and that feels like an enormous achievement!
“The Four Agreements
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best. ”
― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
So I am now on the other side of my latest challenges and I’m feeling very proud of the way in which I spoke my truth and stood my ground. It would have probably been better to manage that earlier but I was following my intuition all the way. My head was never happy about saying yes, but my heart needed to know what it would be like to tune in and I always got a yes. Until I got the no and was triggered for a couple of days of huge release, great clean out and helped to give me the confidence to be clear as I navigated my way through a tricky situation.
Starting to come back from that initial clearing and I discover someone has tried to steal my car and appears to have wrecked the ignition, can’t get the key in. It’s looking like I might need to be towed to replace the ignition. Just like any good mythical story I have a miracle three days later when a Good Samaritan helps me at very little cost, that’s what it’s like living in a good community. The same day my Beloved bought me a laptop that is exactly what I need, don’t have to share anymore although I do know a bit more about mac computers now so there were
benefits to the wait. Yay!
Then the day where I step into that larger version of me that stands easily in a place of power that is based in integrity and truth. Of course there have been tears and I have felt a bit shaky at times, but at the same time I feel incredibly liberated! Freedom! The thing is don’t expect that just because you are doing your best to take responsibility for the part you have played in events that this will be reciprocated by those with whom you are interacting. What is important is to act with honour for yourself, to be as honest and transparent as is possible. And with the prospect of no change to the inequitable situation the only possible course was to close that chapter immediately.
Hooray for the New Chapter of my Life, on as the Fool leaping off into the abyss and knowing with absolute trust that there is a feather bed waiting for my landing.
“If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you. If that person doesn’t walk away, you will surely endure many years of suffering with him or her. Walking away may hurt for a while, but your heart will eventually heal. Then you can choose what you really want. You will find that you don’t need to trust others as much as you need to trust yourself to make the right choices.”
― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
More challenges in the constant sea of change as I continue to grow into my larger self, speaking my truth and getting clear on what that truth may actually be for me. That is important to remember, the truth is a very, very large thing and it may not be exactly the same for each and every one of us. I have had a situation where I was saying yes with my intuition even though my head thought it was a really bad idea. I was exploring the notion of being in complete trust and saying yes to choices that my logical mind thought I should say no to. It didn’t seem to make a whole lot of difference to events, it brought ‘stuff’ up which I got the opportunity to release.
Then things changed and my head and my heart came together and agreed with the original conclusions of the logical brain. From the outside it might appear that I suddenly changed but it was an ongoing process of exploring the balance between trust and setting boundaries. I realised that assumptions had been made all over the place and that I still have some work to do when it comes to clear communication in the world. Well the important thing is to see the patterns that don’t support me and have the courage to change them. And to trust that by meeting this opportunity for growth with as much authenticity and truth as I can, I will continue to grow in being able to receive abundance!
I already have so much in the way of blissful blessings, not the least being my dearest Beloved, the Light of my life! That is my rock and my home, in the arms of the Beloved do I lay.