For those who read my last post the Heal Yourself Expo was a great success and created a lovely laid back energy even as if offered true seekers a variety of alternative viewpoints on health and well-being. I had a rewarding couple of days and look forward to an event that grows and evolves over time even as it carefully keeps itself small and intimate. Less razzle dazzle and more education and empowerment! http://www.healyourselfexpo.com/ My focus at the moment with my health is the transition that I am currently experiencing which will take me from mothering to crone. Yes I am finally feeling menopause in my body and it is an interesting and sometimes very uncomfortable journey.
My moon time flow has never been regular and in the fifteen or so years that I’ve been keeping track I have never been able to discern a pattern. But that it is beginning to cease is obvious now and I spend a lot of time with the impending feel of the changing of the blood without the relief of it’s arrival. It is hard to describe what this feels like, there are times when I get cramping pains but a lot of the time the sensations are much more subtle than that but pervasive nonetheless. There is a sensation in my belly that sweeps through and for some reason is full of doom and gloom. At this point I am filled with gratitude for the mindfulness practices that I have put energy and focus into as it is relatively easy to notice my mind trying to justify the anxiety in my uneasy belly. I am very firm as I separate the sensation from the dark feelings and tell myself that it is a feeling that has no base in my tangible reality.
Sometimes I get this rush of energy through my body that feels like it wants to burst out of my skin. It makes me feel a bit crazy and is often accompanied by intense lust which can be a bit disconcerting for my dear Beloved even as he welcomes my ongoing horniness! I am so blessed because my beautiful lover allows me to express these intense feelings by groping him rather crudely at times and making strange noises. Some of you are probably wondering why anyone would have a problem with this but the “Libido Monster” does feel a bit out of control and can be overwhelming for us both. I have heard that some women lose interest in sex while they are going through menopause so I guess we can be grateful that our wonderful sex life will continue unabated!
This exploration has been from the inside so far as I observe thoughts, feelings and sensations as they occur in my body. But I am lucky that one of my 50th birthday presents was a book called “New Menopausal Years: The Wise Women’s Way” by Susan S Weed. I haven’t found the time to read it yet but it apparently goes through all the different options for navigating menopause, from the bio-medical model to herbal and natural therapies. I will get to my reading in due course and in the meantime observe my body as it rides the wave into the next stage of being a woman. An exciting new adventure in the ongoing drama of being a human on Planet Earth!
Lovely sharing Kerry, it’s great to have conversation and communication about this important milestone of transformation. I’ve been riding the peace train, then the fury road, then the pleasure dome, then the sleep cycle. Up, down, through, over, under, whew!! What has been coming up for me is the revisitation of the old events, practices and places I was journeying through at the coming of puberty. The synchronicity has been awe-inspiring! All the things I started at the time of my beginning of menses are now being reworked, realigned and revisited at the end of menses. It’s been like a reverse timeline. It’s almost as if I am witnessing through different eyes and from a different perspective, with more clarity and awareness. I’m not saying menopause has been a warm and fuzzy experience, I’m sharing that it is with a deeper understanding I accept the forces at play in this life now.
Wow, don’t you just love that kind of synchronicity! If we approach any part of our life with awareness everything changes does it not, and it is much easier to surrender to what is an organic process rather than living in denial. I have moments when I don’t enjoy menopause at all but I can also feel the power in embodying this huge shift. By saying yes I “accept the forces at play” and can ride the flow even when it feels like a tsunami! Thank you so much for your sharing, I feel empowered when I have conversations like this. Love and blissings to you!