This is what you might call a quickie, a mini update on what I’m up to this weekend. The healing journey both inner and outer has been a bit of a feature this week for my Beloved and I so I’m only sharing this with you now. If you are very lucky I just may do another post on Sunday telling you a bit about a very interesting way to rid yourself of toxins. Anyway there will be all kinds of wonderful therapies and products at the Heal Yourself Expo where I will be offering spiritual guidance through channeling and tarot cards.
I am really looking forward to being in that energy again as I was last year in July. It is a small event in Maroochydore on the Sunshine Coast, for our overseas readers that’s in the state of Queensland, Australia. And for anyone close enough come and check out this rather cosy event where the intention to empower others to heal themselves is kept firmly at the forefront of why we are there.
So if that interests you please have a look at the website to see what’s on offer, it’s only $5 to get in and kids are free!
The news out in our little bush shack in the forest is getting better and better. Our deep and abiding connection to nature which has been so nurtured here is now augmented with internet that actually works! The signal is a bit weak so it isn’t fast by city standards but it will do us just fine, and we have more data than ever before so it’s movie download time. So when we finally got home last Saturday from market on a day that could have been a disaster we had “The Empire Strikes Back” to watch. We were much in need of an escape into another world so spending a couple of hours in a galaxy far, far, away was very helpful.
Have I got you all intrigued now? We had our rainbow stall in the main street of Maleny last Saturday on one of those days when it is so hot you could probably fry eggs on the bitumen road. There were people about in the morning and we did make a few sales but after midday the street went very quiet. We kept drinking cold water and kombucha and moving as little as possible in a bid to avoid heat exhaustion but it was very challenging. I fold all the clothes away at the end of the day and usually quite enjoy it but with so little energy it was really hard to stay focused and precise. In the end I was hanging on to the vision of being at home and getting under the shower to wash off the layers of sticky sweat on my body. My mother who had the stall next to us had just driven off to her own vision of showering and getting cool when my Beloved gave me the news. The immobiliser that I use to keep my car secure in the absence of working locks was not on the key ring where it was supposed to be.
You can probably imagine how we both felt, just when you feel like you are at the end of your strength you suddenly have to deal with a crisis. It was horrible and I had moments of despair interspersed with encouraging messages from the Goddess who kept saying “It’s here, it’s here, keep looking!.” As I prayed to her we looked and looked on the grass, we backtracked the steps of my Beloved in case it might have fallen out somewhere on his travels but to no avail. Finally we rang around friends and found a lift for my Beloved to go and get his car so we could at least unload our market gear and get it and ourselves home. I stayed with the car and all I wanted to do was sit down but the Goddess was most insistent that it was there so I kept looking on the grass as it became a bit cooler and people started to appear in the street again. I had offers of help which is a common thing in our wonderful community but there wasn’t really anything anyone could do.
See the Goddess does answer our prayers!
Then there was a moment of grace as I quartered the grass, there looking so small and insignificant was the immobiliser. And so our bacon was saved and the best part of the whole experience was the fact that my Beloved and I didn’t bitch or snipe or project our horrible feelings on to each other. As the feeling came up I would notice the urge to project it out on to my Beloved, but I made the choice to sit with the feelings instead. It doesn’t feel very good but the alternative is to create unnecessary drama and cut off your best support. So when we had that moment of grace we could simply be grateful and celebrate not only our happy ending but also the way in which we navigated it. I LOVE being in a sacred union where we can always express our feelings without judgment and know that I always have somebody who is on my side.
A huge thank you to my Beloved who makes it possible for me to grow and develop through the way in which we communicate, and the space of grace that is our sacred union. Deep love and gratitude for my marvellous life!
This week I’d like to talk about being a muse, also known as a director and general giver of good feedback as my Beloved embarks on a career of writing and performing poetry. As a theatre person from way back I find that I seem to have lots of great ideas about how the fabulous rainbow gnome can tweak and refine the intricate weaving of words that are positively tumbling out of his inspired creativity. And yes I am biased but I’m not the only fan, there are some who have already paid for a copy of the inaugural spoken word album that will be out very soon in the new year. I am encouraging my sweetheart to do whatever he can to make a business out of this enterprise. It does my heart good to see him poring over the words in a space of delight and focus, and if it could be a part of our income as well we would both be over the moon.
A celebrity style photo of my Beloved if ever I saw one!
There are so many ways forward on this path, performances, albums, books and online resources, who knows my darling may even end up doing workshops for kids. Personally I don’t mind as long as I can have fun playing director, a role that always used to scare me a bit when I was an acting student. In those days at the beginning of my twenties I would struggle to think of feedback and often got very anxious if I had to do that for someone. Now my ideas emerge quite organically and it’s an enjoyable and effective process that is just one of the many activities that we love doing together. It helps that I’ve had three years of intimate contact with my Beloved so that I know him very well but it’s also because of the enormous shift that’s happened inside me.
When you have low self-esteem if can sometimes be hard to even come up with what your needs or desires are, people ask you what you want and you really don’t have any idea. The path of re-building my confidence happened over a thirty year period and included many different methods of deep healing. In this process I gradually shed all the stuff that was in the way of me experiencing myself as a valuable and worthwhile person in the world. What has emerged is a quiet confidence that doesn’t need to ‘achieve’ anything in order to be happy and content in life. I’m focused on my sacred union and the pleasure that comes from that particular delight and upon all the other myriad blessings that my life abounds with. So when I simply sit and read my favourite faerie book the slight nagging sense that I should be doing something more worthwhile is gone and I am so much more relaxed than I used to be.
Of course I still get triggered by various situations and people on occasion, I’m improved but not perfect which is great as it provides numerous opportunities for learning. But when you are relaxed and comfortable being who you are it is much easier to draw upon your inner resources of creativity. And playing with the ideas as they dance up into the realms of possibility is something I want to do as much as I can. So bring on my Beloved’s wonderful words and the inspiration that they usher into being! And as soon as the album is ready I will let the world know.
This is my Beloved strutting his stuff at the Kenilworth Poets Breakfast last year.