Monthly Archives: March 2017

Open And Surrender Again And Again And Again…..

fullofstress

Not the state I aspire to!

A post from four years ago popped up on Facebook today and instead of sharing it directly there I decided to re-blog it with some more pictures so it looks a bit more inviting this time. The message of opening to what is and surrendering feels very appropriate as I am so busy and feeling a bit overwhelmed by all that I have to do.

Thirteen years ago I was very excited at the prospect of going to Latvia, a very small country in Eastern Europe which is where my father and his family fled from during World War Two. My aunt Lena was taking me and I had my passport all ready with the visas and all of that, at the time I was feeling a great longing to connect with that part of my heritage, to feel the energy of the land.

latviamap

My aunt who was in her early seventies went for a medical not long before we were supposed to be going, the doctor didn’t like the sound of her lungs and so he sent her for an x-ray. That’s when we found out that she had cancer all through her lungs and all of a sudden my magical trip to discover my roots was cancelled.

latviarigariverscene

River scene in Riga Latvia.

So instead of going to Latvia I went to Melbourne to look after my aunt, I had to help her shower and look after her so she could stay at home as long as possible but she was deteriorating very rapidly. I was there when she woke up unable to breathe properly, and went with her in the ambulance to the hospital. From that point she was in a hospice and on morphine, I stayed with friends and went to visit her every day.

rose-quartz-crystal

I was at a friend’s place one day waiting for her to come home from work, when I was drawn to a large chunk of rose quartz on the mantlepiece. I put my hand on it and I could feel energy flowing from the crystal into me, I had no idea what I was doing, I was simply following the flow of intuition. The next day as I held my aunt’s hand at her bedside, I could feel that gentle energy flowing from me into her, it was helping to ease her passing, a beautiful gift from the crystal realm.

crystals

Everything that I had been told about crystals meant nothing to me until I had my own experience, from that moment on I began to move into a different relationship to the crystal kingdom. And the yearning to connect with my father’s land had subsided also, somehow that connection had been made during the time I spent with my aunt as she went through the dying process.

spiritual energy

So often we have fixed ideas about how to experience life, but the flow of existence is much more fluid than the rigid structures that society tries to impose on everything, in a desperate attempt to be in control. Open and surrender, be present with what you are feeling in this very moment, and allow yourself to flow into the next moment, and the next…………and the next…………

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All My Food Is Green!

Leafy green veggies in a colander.

Just three weeks ago I was wondering how to improve some of my creeping bad habits, sugar being the absolute worst of the lot! Now I am on Day 13 of no sugar whatsoever in any form and spending what seems like hours preparing lots of green veggies and cooking organic meat. Well my Beloved and I are doing it together but we both agree that it takes an inordinate amount of time and in our small kitchen the dishes have to be washed at least twice a day. Do we sound hard core? Yes we are and for a very good reason, three weeks ago I received a diagnosis from the doctor that informed me that I have pre-cancerous cells on my left labia. I had the same thing on the right side about 9 years ago and at that time I decided to have surgery which was the only option the doctors talked about.

doctors surgery cancer

Well the doctors are still talking about surgical type options but I am a very different person now to who I was then. The logical conclusion to draw from the return of the pre-cancer is that there are underlying causes that were not addressed with surgery. So my response to the doctor was probably a bit different from what he expected. I have a lovely doctor but even so I could feel the panic in the air around the fact that I might not choose to go along with the bio-medical model. I told him I would consider taking up my referral to the hospital but that I would also be focusing on alternative methods and guess what? Three weeks later and I still haven’t heard from the hospital about an appointment, if I was relying on their help I would be sitting, waiting and feeling helpless. None of which is helpful for the immune system and lets face it, if you have cancer or pre-cancer in your body you are going to really need a strong immune system.

So instead I am eating cleaner and healthier than I have ever done in my entire life up to this point! Sure there are some supplements for the immune system and other various treatments but the main aim for my wonderful naturopath is to treat my condition with food as medicine. Which is what food is after all, when it doesn’t come processed and packaged and with all kinds of nasty chemicals and sugar in it. But I am finding out why people are resistant to this kind of information, eating like this is hard work even though the actual meals we’ve been eating are delicious. It takes time and energy and focus and probably seems a lot more challenging than following doctor’s orders and going meekly to surgery. I may even share a story with you next week about my more recent experiences in hospitals but there isn’t time today.

 

But for now I am on the second day of my liver flush and looking forward to the lunch I brought to work, organic chicken and salad. Like I said it’s hard work but I have total trust in the process and a sense of personal power as I take responsibility for my own health and well-being. Life is good and challenging and I am rising to meet it!

Early Morning Adventure!

glasshouse-mountains-giant-fingerAs I drive down an unknown street in the darkness just before dawn, there is a sense of uncertainty and adventure even through my deep weariness. Then before me a huge shape rises up like the finger of a giant pointing to the sky, outlined against the barely dawning sky.  Suddenly I am full of a fear that takes hold of me and shakes me down to my primordial roots. Even though I know perfectly well that it is one of the Glasshouse Mountains it seems like a monstrous creature looming over me and threatening me with I know not what…………….

Ah that was a moment to remember, but I should probably put it in context for you as this was the final part of an eventful early morning a little while ago. I was driving home after 4am after finishing my shift on the crisis lines when I passed a figure walking along the road. I didn’t really get to see the person very well but as a woman driving home in the wee hours on my own I wasn’t about to pick up a hitch hiker anyway. Shortly after I stopped for petrol at the service station and when I came out there was a boy asking me for a lift, the figure I had seen just before. There was a moment of indecision and then my intuition told me that it was safe and that it was important to help this boy.

trust-your-intuition-witch

So I said yes and moved my stuff from the passenger seat to the back of the car so he could join me. As we talked I began to realise that he was a young man who was very slight and so looked like a boy but there was still no sense of fear about being in my car with an unknown man. He told me his story and it was eerily like I was still on the phones only this time I was involved face to face. He had been thrown out of his girlfriend’s place by her father and was walking a long, long path home to the township of the Glasshouse Mountains. That is beyond where I usually turn off the main road but the more I spoke to this young man the more I felt it was imperative that I drive him all the way home. He was very respectful and didn’t expect me to do that for him, which made me all the more keen to get him home safely.

rise-by-lifting-others

After dropping him at his house he gave me directions to an alternative way of going back that would deliver me to familiar roads and cut out the extra travel time that I had taken. Which brings me to where I started with that ancestral terror zinging through my body in the most surreal moment you could imagine. I took a deep breath and continued on my strange journey until I found my usual path that takes me up to my home in the forest. And even through my exhaustion I felt that warm glow that comes with having helped another human being in trouble.