As I drive down an unknown street in the darkness just before dawn, there is a sense of uncertainty and adventure even through my deep weariness. Then before me a huge shape rises up like the finger of a giant pointing to the sky, outlined against the barely dawning sky. Suddenly I am full of a fear that takes hold of me and shakes me down to my primordial roots. Even though I know perfectly well that it is one of the Glasshouse Mountains it seems like a monstrous creature looming over me and threatening me with I know not what…………….
Ah that was a moment to remember, but I should probably put it in context for you as this was the final part of an eventful early morning a little while ago. I was driving home after 4am after finishing my shift on the crisis lines when I passed a figure walking along the road. I didn’t really get to see the person very well but as a woman driving home in the wee hours on my own I wasn’t about to pick up a hitch hiker anyway. Shortly after I stopped for petrol at the service station and when I came out there was a boy asking me for a lift, the figure I had seen just before. There was a moment of indecision and then my intuition told me that it was safe and that it was important to help this boy.
So I said yes and moved my stuff from the passenger seat to the back of the car so he could join me. As we talked I began to realise that he was a young man who was very slight and so looked like a boy but there was still no sense of fear about being in my car with an unknown man. He told me his story and it was eerily like I was still on the phones only this time I was involved face to face. He had been thrown out of his girlfriend’s place by her father and was walking a long, long path home to the township of the Glasshouse Mountains. That is beyond where I usually turn off the main road but the more I spoke to this young man the more I felt it was imperative that I drive him all the way home. He was very respectful and didn’t expect me to do that for him, which made me all the more keen to get him home safely.
After dropping him at his house he gave me directions to an alternative way of going back that would deliver me to familiar roads and cut out the extra travel time that I had taken. Which brings me to where I started with that ancestral terror zinging through my body in the most surreal moment you could imagine. I took a deep breath and continued on my strange journey until I found my usual path that takes me up to my home in the forest. And even through my exhaustion I felt that warm glow that comes with having helped another human being in trouble.
Falling into the swirling pool of sacred union as we lay upon finely spun rainbows and travel into dimensions of delight and joy. Shedding energies dark and deep I feel a space unfold within, a sacred vessel to receive and to channel the energies of divine union. One body, one being, we are pure sensation as the tantric journey opens our hearts ever deeper and the healing goes deep and deeper. And so it is time for that healing to go to the forbidden places that mindfulness has been afraid to go, the anger never allowed to form, the grief underneath, the sense that the world is full of sorrow. New life springs forth even as energies release into the Mother of transformation, the alchemical smelting pot that turns despair into hope. Candles and coloured lanterns and balls, a happy flowered skull holds a candle like a friendly All Hallows Day spirit come to warm us with her sweet tempered light
‘Tis a new pathway a new beginning and the inspiration and creativity are cresting a wave of happiness as we fall and rise on the waves of existence, loving and learning as we go. I am in that flow and rising into fullness, the path of service to all of life, the sacred wholeness that is love. Blessed be, blessed be, my Beloved and Me, we are one on this journey.
Summer used to be my favourite month but it is rapidly becoming a time that feels like it can only be endured as the temperatures soar. My base temperature is much hotter than it used to be before I began to experience menopause but I don’t think there is anyone who isn’t over this extreme weather. And then there is the extreme state of politics in the world which may seem worse now we have Trump but personally I think he is simply a big reflection of what our culture has created in the world. And if that is our mirror it is quite obvious that fundamental change is needed because on the current trajectory we are rapidly heading towards the extinction of the human race. I can’t imagine Mother Earth shedding too many tears for us and whatever creatures manage to survive in spite of us will be dancing upon our mass graves.
Yet I remain hopeful as I see how millions around the world march in the name of justice and compassion. The brave souls at Standing Rock are a shining light to the world who remain committed to non-violence in spite of the violence that has been perpetrated upon them. In my country Australia we have organisations like GetUp who help those of us who are not part of the wealthy elite to stand up to the harsh treatment of the poor and vulnerable. When the times become dark it is not only that which we see as evil that flourishes and grows, in the dark we can see the light even more clearly. In America there is a group of young people whose ages range from 9-20 years old who are suing the Federal Government for their inaction on climate change. It is the young who will have to live with the consequences of our foolishness and this is set out with great clarity in this article by a 26 year old campaign director for GetUp.
Protest out in the world is very important but the biggest fundamental changes will need to occur inside each and every person on the planet. So if you don’t feel like there is much you can do about any of this remember that focusing on your own healing will help the greater good even if you never have the slightest bit to do with any of the protests. And if you persist on this path your own life will improve and the world will change around you. I say this with confidence because of my own experience of inner growth which has led to me becoming more confident and content in my life. What I find is that as I become happier I have more of a tendency to focus on the positive events in the world and become inspired. Doesn’t mean that I never feel sad or wonder how we can get out of this mess but it gives me a sense of hope that is always there beneath my feet.
Beneath my feet lies the Mother of us all, at least while we are here as spirit in a physical form. So don’t tell me you’re not spiritual, you don’t get a choice in the matter! Time to bring spirit and matter together in harmony and acknowledge the sacredness that lies within everything. Aho!
Photo by Ulli Hansen and friends.
Deep in the body I sink into sensation as my awareness falls away from the pondering of the mind with it’s endlessly unfolding patterns of thoughts and stories. In the moment of connection with the other part of my soul, found in the eyes of my Beloved, I deepen and fall. In the sounds of the birds that make a tapestry all around me and the heat which renders me unfit for anything but sitting and reading, sitting and gazing into the far horizon. A place with little thought and not much energy can be relaxing if you let go of the need to ‘do’ or feel the urge to be busy. Deep in the healing and feeling immense gratitude to the medicine of the Frog, gratitude to the spirit of the Amazon jungle. Riding the wave and knowing that a more focused understanding will emerge in the fullness of time, in the process of life evolving.
So until I am ready to share more fully I will move into the space of retreat for a time, celebrating another year on this magical planet known to us as Earth. In Gratitude to the Mother, to the Goddess and her Consort, to Shiva and Shakti……….. to Love! Talk to you next week my friends.
This is what you might call a quickie, a mini update on what I’m up to this weekend. The healing journey both inner and outer has been a bit of a feature this week for my Beloved and I so I’m only sharing this with you now. If you are very lucky I just may do another post on Sunday telling you a bit about a very interesting way to rid yourself of toxins. Anyway there will be all kinds of wonderful therapies and products at the Heal Yourself Expo where I will be offering spiritual guidance through channeling and tarot cards.
I am really looking forward to being in that energy again as I was last year in July. It is a small event in Maroochydore on the Sunshine Coast, for our overseas readers that’s in the state of Queensland, Australia. And for anyone close enough come and check out this rather cosy event where the intention to empower others to heal themselves is kept firmly at the forefront of why we are there.
So if that interests you please have a look at the website to see what’s on offer, it’s only $5 to get in and kids are free!
The news out in our little bush shack in the forest is getting better and better. Our deep and abiding connection to nature which has been so nurtured here is now augmented with internet that actually works! The signal is a bit weak so it isn’t fast by city standards but it will do us just fine, and we have more data than ever before so it’s movie download time. So when we finally got home last Saturday from market on a day that could have been a disaster we had “The Empire Strikes Back” to watch. We were much in need of an escape into another world so spending a couple of hours in a galaxy far, far, away was very helpful.
Have I got you all intrigued now? We had our rainbow stall in the main street of Maleny last Saturday on one of those days when it is so hot you could probably fry eggs on the bitumen road. There were people about in the morning and we did make a few sales but after midday the street went very quiet. We kept drinking cold water and kombucha and moving as little as possible in a bid to avoid heat exhaustion but it was very challenging. I fold all the clothes away at the end of the day and usually quite enjoy it but with so little energy it was really hard to stay focused and precise. In the end I was hanging on to the vision of being at home and getting under the shower to wash off the layers of sticky sweat on my body. My mother who had the stall next to us had just driven off to her own vision of showering and getting cool when my Beloved gave me the news. The immobiliser that I use to keep my car secure in the absence of working locks was not on the key ring where it was supposed to be.
You can probably imagine how we both felt, just when you feel like you are at the end of your strength you suddenly have to deal with a crisis. It was horrible and I had moments of despair interspersed with encouraging messages from the Goddess who kept saying “It’s here, it’s here, keep looking!.” As I prayed to her we looked and looked on the grass, we backtracked the steps of my Beloved in case it might have fallen out somewhere on his travels but to no avail. Finally we rang around friends and found a lift for my Beloved to go and get his car so we could at least unload our market gear and get it and ourselves home. I stayed with the car and all I wanted to do was sit down but the Goddess was most insistent that it was there so I kept looking on the grass as it became a bit cooler and people started to appear in the street again. I had offers of help which is a common thing in our wonderful community but there wasn’t really anything anyone could do.
See the Goddess does answer our prayers!
Then there was a moment of grace as I quartered the grass, there looking so small and insignificant was the immobiliser. And so our bacon was saved and the best part of the whole experience was the fact that my Beloved and I didn’t bitch or snipe or project our horrible feelings on to each other. As the feeling came up I would notice the urge to project it out on to my Beloved, but I made the choice to sit with the feelings instead. It doesn’t feel very good but the alternative is to create unnecessary drama and cut off your best support. So when we had that moment of grace we could simply be grateful and celebrate not only our happy ending but also the way in which we navigated it. I LOVE being in a sacred union where we can always express our feelings without judgment and know that I always have somebody who is on my side.
A huge thank you to my Beloved who makes it possible for me to grow and develop through the way in which we communicate, and the space of grace that is our sacred union. Deep love and gratitude for my marvellous life!
This week I’d like to talk about being a muse, also known as a director and general giver of good feedback as my Beloved embarks on a career of writing and performing poetry. As a theatre person from way back I find that I seem to have lots of great ideas about how the fabulous rainbow gnome can tweak and refine the intricate weaving of words that are positively tumbling out of his inspired creativity. And yes I am biased but I’m not the only fan, there are some who have already paid for a copy of the inaugural spoken word album that will be out very soon in the new year. I am encouraging my sweetheart to do whatever he can to make a business out of this enterprise. It does my heart good to see him poring over the words in a space of delight and focus, and if it could be a part of our income as well we would both be over the moon.
A celebrity style photo of my Beloved if ever I saw one!
There are so many ways forward on this path, performances, albums, books and online resources, who knows my darling may even end up doing workshops for kids. Personally I don’t mind as long as I can have fun playing director, a role that always used to scare me a bit when I was an acting student. In those days at the beginning of my twenties I would struggle to think of feedback and often got very anxious if I had to do that for someone. Now my ideas emerge quite organically and it’s an enjoyable and effective process that is just one of the many activities that we love doing together. It helps that I’ve had three years of intimate contact with my Beloved so that I know him very well but it’s also because of the enormous shift that’s happened inside me.
When you have low self-esteem if can sometimes be hard to even come up with what your needs or desires are, people ask you what you want and you really don’t have any idea. The path of re-building my confidence happened over a thirty year period and included many different methods of deep healing. In this process I gradually shed all the stuff that was in the way of me experiencing myself as a valuable and worthwhile person in the world. What has emerged is a quiet confidence that doesn’t need to ‘achieve’ anything in order to be happy and content in life. I’m focused on my sacred union and the pleasure that comes from that particular delight and upon all the other myriad blessings that my life abounds with. So when I simply sit and read my favourite faerie book the slight nagging sense that I should be doing something more worthwhile is gone and I am so much more relaxed than I used to be.
Of course I still get triggered by various situations and people on occasion, I’m improved but not perfect which is great as it provides numerous opportunities for learning. But when you are relaxed and comfortable being who you are it is much easier to draw upon your inner resources of creativity. And playing with the ideas as they dance up into the realms of possibility is something I want to do as much as I can. So bring on my Beloved’s wonderful words and the inspiration that they usher into being! And as soon as the album is ready I will let the world know.
This is my Beloved strutting his stuff at the Kenilworth Poets Breakfast last year.