Tag Archives: anxiety

Sitting With The Discomfort, Being Still.

The ObserverI am feeling rather a lot of anxiety tonight, it is interesting to watch the knot of tension without investing any emotional weight to that tangle. And challenging, the temptation to interpret such sensations as doom and gloom is quite seductive, after all anything that feels that heavy must mean bad things. So I am watching it and doing my best to let it be, the less fuel I add the sooner this feeling can pass away. Impermanence, everything is always arising and then passing away. As a matter of fact I saw a client today and spoke of the way in which we add anguish to difficulties we are experiencing. It is how we perceive our circumstances that determines how much pain we might feel, or whether we have a sense of hope. It’s easy to think that what’s happening to you is making you feel a certain way but there is always a choice.

candle-in-the-dark2

And so I tell myself as I do my best to stay true to what is best for my Beloved and I, even as I watch the fear dancing away in my belly. I am home alone tonight and even that feels right and proper, much as I am delighted to spend most of my time with my darling. Being on my own means there is no easy distraction from the uneasy sensation and in the end I have to sit with it. It sounds simple doesn’t it but the doing of it may be harder than you might imagine, it takes a certain amount of focus and faith in the process. And it’s a process that I trust, one that my Beloved spoke about in an essay that he sent to me when we were courting by email. Oh he knew how to seduce a woman, well the kind of woman that I am which is the bit that counts, one who is dedicated to exploring inner realms.

ayahuasca image 2

Sometimes the alternative realms can seem cool and groovy and fun, full of bliss and joy! But don’t underestimate the power of being able to sit fairly still with really uncomfortable feeling churning away in your belly. You will enjoy the ecstatic blissful bits even more when you have cleared away whatever is available for removal or transformation. It may not sound sexy but it is a part of a transformative kind of lifestyle that does lead to deeper happiness and contentment. I am starting to feel the end of this particular wave, so now if I can just stop eating sugar by the handful there may be hope for me yet! From the woman who remembers to breathe and to love and who is planning to move into the next chapter with ease and no fuss!

kerry in the kitchen SM

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Moving On Towards The Next Miracle.

moving-outWell I guess the aversion to technology is still very much with me, seeing as I didn’t manage a post last week at all! Plus there has been rather a lot going on in the inner realms, and yes for those who have been following me for any length of time you are rolling your eyes and saying, tell me something I don’t know. Well I do have something new to tell you and it is stirring things up although not quite as much as it might have before my Vipassana experience. Just as my Beloved and I have become settled and happy in our funky little flat we got the news  a week ago now that we have to move out. Not because of any problems with our tenancy, our wonderful landlords need the space back and are very sorry to see us go.

kerry in the kitchen SM

The wonderful new kitchen I was so excited about!

So once again we need to create a miracle and find a place where we can have our privacy at an exceptionally cheap rate. Our little flat has also been serving as a space where we can see clients so that is also something that we need to organise and all of this at bargain basement prices. If I was feeling a little anxious I think that most people would consider me completely normal. Well there has of course been some anxiety kicking around but not as much as you might think, I am still in the space of not being reactive which was such an enormous gift from my silent retreat. We took a couple of days to process the news and then began to put the word out into the community for a new place to call home.

community connection

There are various practical things one can do out in the world when seeking to create a new beginning, but just as important is the work you can do inside yourself. Yesterday my Beloved and I did some toning together, this is where you intone the vowel sounds and create harmonics that you can feel go right through you. We were toning away when we began to go into a very deep pitch with the sounds, I became aware as we were doing this that our sounds were grounding our new home into place.  This is how we can use more of our human potential, by exploring all the different ways to access the incredible treasures that every single person on the planet has inside of them. These kinds of creative processes are powerful in a very practical sense. Not only can they help to create the future you desire but in the short-term it can dissipate feelings of anxiety and fear.

So here’s to the new abode that will house the inspiring presence of “The Love Bubble Presents”! Letting go of fear and embracing trust I move into the flow of a meaningful and prosperous life, aho!

Re-framing For Inner Peace

Not the state I aspire to!

Not the state I aspire to!

There are lots of creative ways to approach being very busy with major changes occurring on a number of fronts. A very common response and one that most of us would be familiar with is becoming anxious as the big events are looming and the mind wanting to worry about how it will all happen. I felt very overwhelmed last night and decided that I needed to have a meeting with my Beloved to write down and discuss what has to happen over the nest week or two. Synchronicity was on our side as the fellow student who was coming to work with my darling had to cancel, the opportunity opened up and we sat down to get focused.

Intention focus

We each made a list of what needed to happen over the next few weeks and compared notes with each other and with previous lists from last week. It helped me to manage the feeling of overwhelm and see that there were tasks for each day and that there would be some rather big days but it is doable. I also re-framed my feelings by focusing on the excitement that is a big part of my anticipation of being in a new home base. It is an adventure to be inspired by and also one could say a part of the devotional practices that my Beloved and I follow in our relationship as a spiritual practice. We are after all creating the home space that will be our anchor,the place where we feel grounded and welcome in between our house sit adventures!

sp;iritual home

All sounds like fun doesn’t it, and add to that the fact that I live in the Magic Kingdom where the community is loving and supportive  and there is so much creativity and stimulation that sometimes it’s hard to keep up. But the two approaches I talked about above, getting organised in a left brain way and shifting energy in the body via re-framing, are something you can do anywhere. So if you are feeling overwhelmed by your life know that there are a multitude of tools that can help you navigate your way with grace and ease.

So don’t worry, be happy! And here is Bobby McFerrin singing just that!

From Limitation To The Light!

dark figure worryIt’s a while since I wrote about uneasy belly but even in the bubble of love stuff comes up, in fact the more that you dive into that ocean of love the more likely you will stir up the shadows lurking in the depths of your being. So I am feeling that knot of anxiety in my stomach but not like butterflies flying in flocks, it is more concentrated in just one spot. Because I am so very happy it  isn’t disabling but it isn’t comfortable either, this will definitely be something I will take into my medicine journey tonight, an opportunity to release limitation and negativity.

letting-go

And that is exactly what this is, the feelings are very familiar and have in the past created a kind of paralysis which made it hard for me to act on anything. They tell me that I’m not good enough to receive the full abundance of the life force, that there’s no point in even trying because I can never get anything right. This has all been triggered by insecurities over money, some big expenses going out and not so much coming in, but essentially there have been no real sudden changes, it is my thoughts that are creating this unsettling vortex inside me.

So inwards I go to release and transform, being able to share all this with my Beloved really helps a lot, he is a good listener and generously holds space for me when I need him to. As a matter of fact he is living proof that I have made ENORMOUS progress! To be loved so completely without reserve is to affirm that I am worthy of such regard.

Masculine Feminine SpiritForce

My trust in life deepens as I continue to let go of anything and everything that may stand in the way of my fullness, of my full participation in the evolution of humanity.

So be it, so be it, so be it…………………………………

 

B3 May Set You Free.

I speak a lot about nutritional approaches to health practices, generally they tend to provide healing without huge costs and support our ability to tap into our own capacity for self-healing. Therfore they have been somewhat suppressed, but it seems that more and more people are finding out about this stuff, I would like every person on the planet who suffers from depression to know about niacin or B3. According to Beyondblue 3 million Australians are currently living with depression or anxiety, I have spoken to many people who were depressed or anxious,panic attacks too.

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/

B3

I don’t know if it would work for every single person but it surely has worked well for many who have tried this remedy, after all Valium is a copy of the chemical structure of niacin, the pharmaceutical industry recognises its potential. Of course there is no money in it for the industry that has done its best to keep out alternative therapies, but it can’t stay that way forever. So if you know someone who is struggling with depression tell them about vitamin B3, they need to do it with a doctor who understands orthomolecular medicine, as the doses are much higher than anyone would usually have. But don’t worry, no-one has ever been killed by vitamins, the same cannot be said of pharmaceutical drugs however.

It makes sense to me that there are remedies in our own internal pharmacopeia that can help with mental health issues, so much of what creates our worldly identity is chemical/emotional. There is so much less nutrition in the western diet these days, there are a lot of toxic drugs with dubious benefits that people start taking in their lives, and as they get older the list gets longer. Could the rise in dementia have anything to do with that toxic cocktail that many of us end up on as we get older.

Of course for me the rise is in organic fruits and vegetables, certified organic pro-biotic, chia seeds, kale, less or no refined sugar, I don’t take the drugs that doctors like to write prescriptions for, don’t go to doctors much at all!

Even severe, chronic depressions have been lifted with high dose Niacin.
Most if not all psychiatric disorders are rooted in some mineral and/or nutritional deficiency. The good news is, they can easily be corrected, with no drugs, and no chemical dependency!
Also no money for the pharmaceutical industry but that’s OK, they have enough money.

Learn more here:
Video (4:34)

Ask And Ye Shall Receive.

Feeling the strength that comes with being in my own power, worrying about the challenges ahead doesn’t really get you anywhere, taking action does! Time to truly get my act together, the final clearing out is almost upon me and I have realised that the letting go that has been such a theme for me, needs to be reflected in my outer world, as well as the inner. I’ve lived with most of my stuff in storage for four and a half years so the idea that I don’t have much is something of an illusion. Granted I don’t have a house full of things to deal with, but it’s still a part of me that is somewhere else, time to consolidate all these disparate parts!

fabricrehab.co.uk

fabricrehab.co.uk

Having to be careful with your budget helps one to be ruthless, why on earth am I hanging on to plates and knives and forks, transporting them thousands of kilometres when they are so incredibly easy to replace! Most of them came from op shops and urban recycling anyway, no precious or valuable china in my collection that’s for sure. I am actually looking forward to sorting and re-packing now, a big shift from the anxiety I’ve been experiencing whenever I thought about what was coming up.

There will be an opportunity with everything being here where I am, to go through copious notes and journals from my years of shamanic studies,what gems of forgotten wisdom will I find? The trick will be to find the time for all this sorting but I rather suspect that you will read many interesting and thought-provoking posts that will emerge out of this process. I saw a psychic not long ago who told me I would be getting my stuff in order and doing a big clearing out, I am very pleased to have her accuracy confirmed as she saw a prosperous and happy life ahead of me. Of course I could have told me that but it’s nice to have it confirmed!

And as always I have the support of a wonderful community here, ask and ye shall receive, love and you will never truly want for anything. And here is a quote from the Bible that pretty much gives us the basic law of manifestation:

Mark 11:24 ESV / 111 helpful votes

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

I Love What I Do!

How is it that I don’t work full-time and yet I have these crazy days where I have to consciously spin my thoughts into positive channels in order not to get stressed out! There’s yoga, meditation, choir practice, writing posts, then throw in meal preparation, household tasks and a bit (actually quite a lot) of a social life, and you can probably understand why. It’s a choice I keep telling myself, so find a way to navigate through it, or make some changes!

Michael Leunig.

Michael Leunig.

The thing is that all of these things that I do bring me great joy, and that includes the work that I do as well, of course there are challenges in there but that is a big part of what helps us to learn and to grow so I’m not about to ask the Gods to take that away. Remember, you have to be careful what you ask the Gods for! So I try to maintain a balance, it’s important to do stretches and meditation most days, but if doing that on a particularly busy day is going to really stress me out then I don’t do it. Not much point in yoga and relaxation if the doing of it actually produces anxiety.

yogasun

It’s important to have spiritual, mental and physical practices that support you in living your life, and they need to happen on a regular basis. But being rigid about anything, even healthy things, is not part of a program of happiness and well-being. So the first question you need to ask yourself is “Am I happy?”, then look at what in your life is supporting that state of being and what is not. The ideal is to be able to let go of anything that isn’t supporting a happy state but if that’s not possible then consider how you might view it differently, as I said in my last post, change your thoughts about the situation.

The more that you are doing activities that you enjoy, the happier you will become, and you will probably maintain that even when things get busy and a bit crazy. You tend to be a nicer person to be around and that means that you are likely to be getting good vibes from those around you, it all accumulates and builds, imagine a world where everybody is doing this!