Purification by fire was my experience yesterday as I sat in the New Moon Women’s Sweat Lodge. I was on day 5 of my moon time which means that my body temperature was already higher than usual, so being in the lodge on a sunny morning meant extreme heat. Probably sounds horrible but going through an ordeal within a sacred framework can be enormously helpful in terms of spiritual growth and development. I got lots of confirmation that my recent choices in speaking up for myself and standing my ground were appropriate responses to the situations I found myself in. In fact I was told that Spirit had organised to eject me from a place of limitation that was no longer supporting my growth into a larger self.
I generally am very stubborn about sticking things out however uncomfortable they may be but on this occasion I had to leave the sweat before the end. I was just too hot and probably on the verge of making myself sick so it was actually a case of being compassionate to myself. And it carried its own message, being stubborn can be a useful quality but only if I choose the right things to be stubborn about. As I lay in the shade outside the lodge an aboriginal woman squatted down in front of me and took my hands. I realised that she was a giant and she said she came from the Dreamtime and was one of the first ones. We spoke of many things at the same time that I was aware of the other women inside the lodge. The aboriginal woman told me that I never really left the lodge and that she had come to help hold me in that sacred space.
I felt that I had left behind a whole lot of things that I no longer needed in that purifying space of heat and fire. It can be a bit like being reborn and probably even more so when it is aligned with the new moon. The new moon was in Libra so it was all about things(especially relationships) being in balance and equitable, extremely pertinent to the issues I have been facing in the last few weeks. Check out my last couple of posts if you don’t know what I’m talking about. So I had a productive day today finally getting on to tasks that will greatly assist in creating the abundant new life that my Beloved and I are determined to make into a reality.
There will continue to be good days and bad days I am sure in this shifting constant sea of change that we are all swimming in. But I have taken the next step in becoming more of who I am and that feels like an enormous achievement!
My Beloved weighs fifteen kilos less than I do, a skinny little runt who must have hollow legs because he certainly doesn’t eat any less! To my fond eyes he is the perfect size but there is a part of me that can’t help feeling a bit envious at his ability to eat everything in sight without seeming consequence. Of course the trick is always to find the best diet for your particular body type and if there are two of you then a certain amount of compromise is probably required.
It’s the age-old question for those of us women who don’t quite fit the ideal laid out in the current cultural archetypes, is it about health or how you think you should look? Health has been the paramount question for me but lately indulgence has been a bit of a byword and that can definitely go too far at times. The thing is when you improve your diet you do become more sensitive, no matter how often I notice this in my response to food I still seem to need reminders.
At the end of the day I want to be happy more than anything else, pretty much the way I am right now except that I’ve noticed it keeps getting better. That’s all pleasure by the way, our capacity for opening to this kind of energy I do believe is infinite. Follow your bliss sounds shallow but it can actually be fairly deep, and if you truly relax and surrender you can go beyond whatever ‘stuff’ you may have picked up along the way. RELAX and enjoy the journey, the one thing you can be sure of is change so try and get comfortable in the flow of life. RESPONSIBILITY is being able to respond to the shifts and changes that inevitably are a part of following our flow, it can be FUN too!
So I think I will be fairly relaxed with my food, just watch the sugar thing and try to have a few green smoothies every week. Relaxation is a bit underrated as a quality but I think it is the key to so many of the ways in which to move into new ways of being in the world. So I will continue to spend lots of time with my Beloved, that’s always relaxing whatever we’re doing! And we are going to the joining gathering very soon to present our first workshop together, very exciting!
I’m listening to Shpongle doing “Once Upon The Sea Of Blissful Awareness”, if you missed it then please check out my last post where you will find the link, oh what the hell I’m feeling generous, here’s the link again: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAQkxJ4zHh4
In that particular post I made the suggestion that you take the time to truly listen to the music with your entire being, body, mind and soul. You might find that moving your body helps you to really ‘know’ the music at the deepest level possible, it is most definitely meditation and your response can be as fluid as it needs to be. Complete stillness may be what you require at times, listen to the body’s communications and journeys can come from the simplest of things, like hearing music or the sounds of nature, gazing into the eyes of another soul. The best things in life are generally not commodities, you wouldn’t think that from seeing what goes on in the first world.
Life itself is devalued when we move out of balance with a system that we are an integral part of even though there are some who seem determined to maintain ignorance on that subject, unfortunately they tend to be the ones ‘governing’ our country. There are places where people do behave with respect for the environment and each other, my town is a long way from perfect just like me but I am strongly reminded of how different we are when I go to the city. It is possible to change the way that you think and it can happen in so many different ways, the more of us who do it the easier it becomes for everyone else.
So keep rocking on with your spiritual, physical, mental and emotional bodies as the vital vortex that is life takes you in a quantum dance into the future, baby it is time to ROCK!
Here is of all people, Tom Cruise, rocking it on big time in the movie “Rock of Ages”, if you haven’t seen it, it’s an awesome films with great performances, Tom Cruise isthe Rock God, the guy can really act! And Alec Baldwin and Russel Brand make the most delightful couple.
Flickering flames caressing the mysterious and ever-changing shape, from a burning ship with the intergalactic council on board, to a mountain with eyes that pop as he receives people’s questions. A circle of fire full of magic and life force, a sacred space for me to fall into on an ever spiraling journey through the ins and the outs of inter-dimensional, trans-galactic travel! When I relax into being my entire organic self in this body now I can experience the most exquisite pleasure in the simplest of things, from vacuuming to making love.
Letting go of the need to be anyone or to doanything, connecting with the part of me that is beyond personality or particular quirks, the essential light that is Who I Be. Knowing that there is a balance that I am seeking in all of this, a way of remembering that I am a part of all things in vivid colour, without blowing my mind. Finding the paths that can help me to navigate these strange future spaces that are beckoning, feeling my way into a new way of being in the world, of being in relationship, of being in life.
The path can be a little confusing at times, that moment when you let go of control is liberating as you acknowledge that there is intelligence in Gaia that will help you to always know where to put the next step as you walk into a new dawning of life. I need know nothing but that I am safe and warm and my heart is beating strong, the soup is being served and the fire burns away merrily before my upturned feet.
It feels a bit like I am sitting in a poem with each stage like a stanza telling the tale of water moving over the land. Looking out upon the Glasshouse Mountains in the distance I watch the grey veil approaching as the mood shifts from warm sunlight to a touch of chill, back and forth. The rain which has been foretelling it’s coming in random stray drops finally begins to fall in a steady pattern as the sun shines through the sheets of water. It’s heavy for a time and I turn on the car’s engine and switch on the windscreen wipers, watching the motion back and forth and resting in the vibrating embrace of my metal steed.
The water continues it’s journey over the land and so it passes me, ahead the veil is gone and sunshine and shadow outline the sweeping greens of the landscape, the odd and compelling shapes of those mountains. The wind is whistling and swirling as I watch a tree with a spiky afro that describes a subtle and yet extravagant dance.
Even though my feet do not literally touch the earth I feel her, the feminine energy of this land is strong and many strong women are drawn to this place. But she is there for all so please call on her for the support you need, wherever you may be she will be present, no matter how subtle she is always here. After all, where could she go? Gaia is the universal intelligence that holds together what we know as our existence on this earthly plane. She is wise and if we allow her to do so, she is very good at keeping a balance between all the different realms.
As I sit here the sun has become strong again, shining its glory upon my neck and shoulder, flooding my cells with strength and determination. I’ve got a good feeling about what I am co-creating with my Beloved, Apollo fills me with optimism and hope, and my intuition whispers to me to do this, and do that.
Challenges will always come along but they can be instruments of diversion, taking us to places we might never have gone otherwise. And also providing more opportunity to feel pleasure as I release more and more of the holdings that couldn’t let me feel it all. And that isn’t just about sex you know, it can be in sitting in nature and connecting with the land you are on. The more deeply you are able to ‘see’ into things, the more pleasure you can feel. Why wouldn’t you want to take that journey!
Oh and by the way, all the photos are by me this time!
Walking the fine line between purpose and doing too much, coaxing my lovely body to fulfill the great tasks I ask it to contemplate and carry out, balancing being with running around in happy connection with a beautiful world. ‘Tis the mind that is the rub, careering ahead into the future and picking up deliveries of stress and worry as it goes, wanting to know EVERYTHING, even the unknowable. Wanting, wanting, wanting………….always focused on what it doesn’t yet have, or the pain of past losses, monkey mind needs no whip to keep itself on track, self-flagellation the sport it likes the best!
Adrenalin shoots into cells that only ever wanted to be happy and free, and suddenly aches and pains begin to colour this perfect world, the peaceful place that asks us just to be. A simple request from a physical creation that will do whatever it takes to bring us back into the truth of who we be, ignore your own wisdom at your peril for it shall always have the last word. And isn’t peace what we all truly desire in the end, there will always be weather in this particular sea, but the water has no agenda, it shapes itself according to everything else finding harmony and love in the dance.
I caress my mind and soothe its many fears and doubts, telling it that it’s not alone, never alone, the larger self will always be there to hold the container of life. Remembering that this journey is supposed to be fun, beer and skittles and love, dancing to great music, making music and flying to the moon and back again. When I release the past and future possibility, allow myself to be fully present in thismoment, I wave a magic wand and hey presto, there is absolutely nothing to worry about!
The balance is very fine for me at the moment, two nights of not enough sleep and the addition of some intensive study into an already busy schedule and I find myself with a cold having another go at me. After a heavenly sleep last night I woke early and could feel that my body was not feeling strong at all, scratchy throat and runny nose still going on. So I decided to practice the meditation from yesterdays seminar and to check in with my higher-self as to the wisdom of going to a vigorous yoga class, especially as I have an overnight shift this evening. I got the answer I expected which was don’t go, hate to miss a class but the message from my body is very clear, I would have to be a complete idiot to miss it. Truth be told I didn’t even really have to ask in the meditation, that was simply confirmation of what I already knew.
How often do we ignore these communications from our bodies and from the realm of spirit? If you are looking they are everywhere, in my last counselling session I had wolf come to me as a totem so I had a bit of a look at its symbolism. There are a whole range of meanings but the one that struck me today is that they represent listening to your inner voice, sensitivity and strong psychic abilities. And the other animal that came in was the Owl which is also strongly linked to extra sensory perceptions. Now I do work as a psychic so no surprises there, but it also reflected the process I had just taken myself through in deciding whether or not to go to yoga.
If you aren’t familiar with listening to these signals it may require some practice to be able to interpret the messages but it is so worth the investment of time and energy. And there will still be times when you are not sure, no matter how good you become at tuning in. That is the mystery which will always be present as long as we allow ourselves to remain open to life in all its wonder, and the world really is such a wonderful place!
So balance between the masculine and the feminine, this has come up for me not only with the Full Moon in Aries and the lunar eclipse, but also in my latest holistic counselling session. I am very comfortable with the feminine side of things, not that there isn’t work to be done there as well, but it isn’t anywhere near as challenging for me as being in my masculine. No doubt this has a lot to do with my father’s suicide when I was fifteen, I don’t really totally trust in male energy, particularly my own.
But if you want to make things happen out in the world you need that kind of energy, it’s the masculine in its postive form that provides and protects and creates right action in alignment with the good of all. We need this energy as much as we need the soft, receptive and nurturing feminine, together they provide the perfect balance so that we can come into our wholeness. It’s about being in that balance as individuals and as a society, at the moment we are still very much in the male dominated patriarchy.
In my counselling session I found an ally to help me with my warrior energy, I saw a Red Indian warrior standing tall and upright, he feels very strong and very clear. The sound that came through was like a wolf howling at the moon, another connection to the eclipse and an animal totem to explore, then I also saw an owl and that made me aware of another presence, a shaman. This is a reminder to me that the energy of the warrior also applies to my inner journeying, it isn’t just about what I do out in the world.
The biggest message from my warrior is to be strong and to be myself, don’t over complicate things so much and when a decision has been made then TAKE ACTION! He is also about divine timing so there is the wisdom in knowing when it is the right time to do things, I need to stop dithering but I also need to aim my arrows straight and true at the correct target.
Aho! (Means I have spoken, often said at the end of stating one’s intention for a ceremony).
So from the New Moon in Libra we have moved into the influence of the Full Moon in Aries, plus it is also a lunar eclipse which apparently makes the energies even more intense. I would expect Aries to be pretty full on, I am no expert on astrology but I have a friend who is a triple Aries, she has spent an amazing life running around non-stop being a catalyst for others. She has always been extremely forthright too and the energy of this Aries eclipse encourages us to take action and to speak our truth.
Sometimes taking action though can mean actually doing less, my challenge has been to not be overwhelmed by the busyness of my life, part of the message of self-love that came through so strongly with the Libra New Moon. That particular journey is not over my any means but I am no longer feeling overwhelmed so I can safely say that progress has been made, I’ve had to make some compromises but so far it seems to be working well enough.
Another theme that comes out of this astrological time is the balance between individuality and collaboration, something that I often talk about in this blog. More and more we are seeing projects and ideas that offer innovative ways to move into a more conscious expression of community, not just with each other but with everything in our environment. From sustainable cities with roof top gardens and pollinating pathways to tiny homes and a new way of schooling that doesn’t require teachers or a school room.
Vertical garden of the Musee du Quai Branly in Paris, France, created by Patrick Blanc
I’m going to continue exploring the astrological themes in my next post so tune in to a discussion on masculine and feminine energies, generally speaking the world needs to allow the feminine to be expressed more strongly but for me it is the masculine that I need to channel more.
Dear Father Sky, please lend me your strength and determination and the ability to take right action………….so be it, so be it, so be it.
Embarking upon a journey into the swirling, twirling vortex that is the middle of every second week, slipping in a little footwork practice and a sleep before going off to find my attitude in strong poses and energy complete. Riding the wave of passionate expression I follow the winding path down the mountain and breathe a little sea air before hunkering down in the bunker, a welcoming warm shelter. It’s a matter of balance, of kindness, of care, do just enough to be alive fully but never push yourself beyond your capacity, whatever it may be.
I love riding the edge of what might be possible, testing the limits of how balanced I can be no matter what life may be throwing at me, brain working out as I follow the notes on a musical page and count the beat, rise to the note. Higher functions are operating and all is well as long as I can balance on that narrow edge, teeter a tad by all means but lets stay on the path and keep fanning the fires of creativity, the torrents of energy flowing over the cliffs, emotions letting go of their attachments.
My sea feels calm even when I can see stormy weather up ahead, the waves may be a bit big sometimes but if I can keep that calm centre within me holding it all together, I can ride out any storm. Just as well because I continue to add-on to the pile of what needs to be done by the end of the year, performance, costumes, the mastering of steps that seem to be forever in coming. The seeing, listening and enjoying of much good music, as well as the necessity of keeping the faith for all the Goddesses of the Dance by moving my body to good grooves on a regular basis.