Once again I find myself dancing with the bug that keeps coming back to haunt me, if things really do come in threes lets hope that this is the last time! I’m feeling much better since my counselling session last week and doing my best to take care of myself while still doing the things that need to be done. I’ve been working on my writing project as well as reading “The Art of Non-Conformity” and inspiration is flowing, although as I sit here writing this post there are butterflies dancing wildly in my belly.
I didn’t wake up with this feeling and am not sure what triggered it, but at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter what it was. I could say it was a thought that obviously didn’t serve me but that wouldn’t actually be accurate, whatever is moving in me needs to move on, and the trigger is a necessary part of the clearing process, so I bless and honour it. But I don’t enjoy the feeling at all, in my days of unconsciousness this is what would drive me to try to blot everything out by getting stoned or drunk.
Now I sit with the feelings and breathe, bringing the notion of devotion into the equation, devotion to my healing process, to the sharing in this blog, devotion to all the special people in my community, and one in particular who is having a birthday today. As I do this the energy in my belly moves out into my arms and legs, and then starts radiating out into the aether as if I have become a small sun. I begin to breathe in and out of my heart and what was a kind of anxiety has transformed into excitement and anticipation. Now I’m feeling a bit light-headed and there is a sense in my body almost as if I could start to levitate!
Wow, what an interesting and quite spontaneous shift! The imagination is a marvelous gift and if you allow it free rein it can take you anywhere you need to go, a good reminder for me as I continue with my writing project and the development of this blog. And my sense is that if I can balance self-care with doing the things I am passionate about I will win the battle of the bug, so be warned denizens of the micro world, this gal is no push over, her immunity is strong!
Balance is the theme here as we are heading towards a New Moon in Libra next saturday, but more on that subject later, for now farewell dear friends, good health to you all!
PS: When I finish this post I am going to go for a brisk walk, excited energy is needing to be channelled, transformation of anxious energy motivating even more self-care!
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Tagged balance, breathe, clearing, community, counselling, devotion, energy, feelings, healing, imagination, immunity, Inspiration, new moon in libra, passion, self-care, shift, The Art of Non-Conformity, transform, trigger
When we talk about stuff coming up, most people automatically assume that something negative or difficult is responsible for the triggering. But that isn’t always the case, sometimes you can have experiences that are blissful and ecstatic that bring up uncomfortable feelings. My deep connection with Mother Earth that I spoke of in my last post is an example of this, although the stuff that came up was like light butterflies zooming around in my belly, and the feeling that eventually came up was a gentle sorrow.
I am in a period of great clarity having shifted an enormous amount of stuff over the last ten months, so what is coming up for me at the moment when it does happen is pretty easy to deal with. But that isn’t always the case, and it can make people resistant to the process of moving into their fullness however they may be approaching it. On some level they are aware that discomfort could arise and that brings up the resistance to letting go of the old patterns of behaviour.
I am reminded of that wonderful quote from Marianne Williamson:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”
I gave a sound and body healing session to a friend yesterday, and that’s what got me thinking about this subject matter. It was beautiful and flowed very organically, the words that came out of my mouth, my movements and sounds, all pure channeling. I was very much in my fullness and it was a wonderful experience for her and for me. She stayed on for a cuppa and as we talked I gradually began to feel rather strange inside my body, a little bit nauseous and disconnected from myself and the world around me. It wasn’t very comfortable at all, but after she’d gone I did a short meditation that brought peace into my body, as I let go of the swirling energies, coming back into balance again.
So don’t let potential darkness stop you from stepping into the spot light and showing off all your gifts and talents to the world, without the dark how would we know what light was? I speak with the knowledge of someone who has spent most of her life hiding her light under a bushel, and I know how hard it is to come out. If I can do it anyone can………………..what is it that you really want to do, what is your passion, your heart song……….follow it to your bliss, and don’t be afraid of the dark!
Which reminds me of a beautiful song, here is “You’ll never walk alone” from the musical “Carousel”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6V9EbnNx6U
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Tagged balance, clarity, darkness, healing, heart, light, Marianne Williamson, meditation, Mother Earth, passion, patterns, sorrow, stuff
There is a sense of completion all around me, the ripples of my actions creating endings, and new beginnings. When I follow those ripples out into the ocean of love I am filled with the excitement of my own potential. But I also need to be careful not to get too far ahead of myself, it comes back always to balance and being present in the moment that I am in.
At times I am so impatient, like Juliet as she waits for the day to end so that she may be with her Romeo:
Spread thy close curtain, love-performing night,
That runaway’s eyes may wink, and Romeo
Leap to these arms untalked of and unseen.
Lovers can see to do their amorous rites
By their own beauties; or, if love be blind,
It best agrees with night.Come, civil night,
Thou sober-suited matron, all in black,
And learn me how to lose a winning match,
Played for a pair of stainless maidenhoods.
But it is not simply a partner that I am singing up here, it’s an entire new life in a world that has gone through such enormous changes since the Summer Solstice 2012. And divine timing is always such an important aspect of the process, flowing with the current, where the energies naturally want to go.
But I’m human and so I come in and out of that easy current and of course there are sometimes storms that blow in as well . At the end of the day it’s my response that determines how I travel, it creates my reality based on the impetus of what is actually happening around me. What is particularly nice at the moment is that not a lot of stuff is coming up and I am shifting it fairly quickly when it does. Praise the Goddess, and a special thanks to the feminine flow for guiding me towards the amazing bargain of getting the last pair of red boots on crazy sexy special, perfect fit!
Couldn’t find the french version of Prokofiev’s Romeo and Juliet that I remember as being particularly good, but this one shows Margot Fonteyn and Rudolf Nureyev dancing together, the energy between them is electric!
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Tagged balance, ballet, being, energy, feminine, flow, Goddess, love, Margot Fonteyn, potential, present, ripples, Romeo and Juliet, Rudolf Nureyev, sexy, Shakespeare, shift, stuff, summer solstice, The Red Shoes
There is a sense of space unfolding within me, great vistas opening up as I let go of the connection that held me hostage, even as I held it. It’s true what they say, control is generally a two-way street, although that’s hard to accept when we see victims being treated in horrific ways. If we all choose to be here on the planet and choose where and who we will be born to, then there’s always going to be personal responsibility for the consequences of those choices. And there are those who come here to help and support the weak and the helpless, as long as they are working to empower those who are powerless, the balance may be restored.
I choose to focus on that journey in my inner world as I step into my power, my neediness falls away and there is a new steadiness and confidence in my body, mind and soul. It will be necessary to remain mindful, the connections that have been severed will probably not go quietly, I will have to remain in my own power and integrity, not allow myself to be hooked back into the drama. Without the dramas I have the room to pursue my dreams, to explore these landscapes that are emerging from the hidden depths of this magnificent soul, that has been lost in the arrogance of low self-esteem for far too long.
Low self-esteem, arrogance? A strange combination you might say, but I understood quite some time ago that my lack of confidence in myself was as much of an ego trip as someone like Clive Palmer or Gina Rinehart. The term that conveyed this to me at the time was, “Who am I to refuse the flow of spirit through me?”. So now I make the affirmation, to open fully to spirit and to allow it to flow through me in whatever ways are most appropriate, to benefit not only myself, but all life in all its forms, everywhere.
So be it, so be it, so be it.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged balance, choice, connection, control, empower, flow, journey, life, mindful, soul, space, spirit
Mother Earth. Photo by Ulli Hansen.
As I came to the end of my weekend I felt strongly drawn to connect to Mother Earth, walking on the earth in my bare feet and sitting for a time on the protruding root of a tree. As I was walking back to the house I caught a glimpse of golden fire, and found myself going out to where I could see the sun setting in exquisite shades of pink and gold, Father Sky in all his glory, showering me with his brilliance.
Father Sky. Photo by Ulli Hansen.
The masculine and the feminine coming into balance in me, reflecting the natural world, which left to its own devices has no difficulty in keeping the balance. Feeling peace and acceptance, and finding a sense of trust, that all that I need will come to me, knowing that I am always safe in my beautiful world, even when the challenges and obstacles on the path seem impassable.
I had an important realisation a couple of days ago, I have changed an old pattern of mine, which is to come up with ideas of action but rarely follow through. These words you are reading in this moment are an example of this shift, within a few months of attending a blogging for beginners workshop I began to post, and I have put something out every day, even through the festive season. There is a lot more I need to do to invite more people to come and check out what I am doing, but I have begun, and the process of writing is bringing me great joy.
Where any of this will take me I have no idea, but I sense that this movement of creative energy is a river that will take me where I need to go. And in this moment I have no need to know exactly where or what that will be. I surrender to the divine mother and to the divine father, trusting the birth that will follow that divine union, a conception created in joy and with love.
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Tagged balance, creative, divine, Father Sky, feminine, love, masculine, Mother Earth, peace, shift, surrender, trust, union