Something I’ve been thinking about lately is the power of language, and how our use of particular words or phrases can say a lot about the way in which we view our world, indeed many would say that our words create our reality. So if you are constantly saying, “I can’t afford it”, then you are telling yourself that there is never enough and that you can’t have all the things that you want or need in your life, whether we are talking about luxuries or necessities the message is the same.
That is a relatively straight forward idea, but where I have always had difficulty is in finding alternative ways of describing my situation, before you can change yourself there has to be acceptance of what is, and so talking about the Rolls Royce you are going to buy when your budget doesn’t extend to even a second-hand bomb seems a bit airy fairy. So you could say, as an alternative, “That isn’t currently in my budget”, which implies that when the time is right that it will be, it still doesn’t feel quite honest to me which probably says a lot about the strength of my beliefs around not being supported!
So I’m going to give this a committed focus and see what happens, I’m meditating every day and going into my temple to heal myself and to create the amazing new life that is trembling upon the brink of my old reality. As a prelude to the meditation I’m using EFT to clear the resistance and in that process I am very much accepting and loving myself exactly as I am, so I think I’m doing ok with the accept things the way that they are bit. The next step is to bring extreme mindfulness into my daily interactions as well as watching my self-talk for signs of the old belief patterns that are on the way out.
The new reality that is emerging is getting stronger and stronger inside of me, by behaving according to that picture I will strengthen the images I am giving to my brain about the way things are in my world. And it’s very important not to give too much focus to anything that doesn’t support this vision, even as I deal sensibly with my current reality in each and every moment. It’s a balancing act that will be a most interesting challenge, and I look forward to telling you all about the stunning results that will come flooding in as I change my world forever!
So be it, so be it, so be it………………………….
I am feeling an enormous sense of completion, things are coming to an end, some things may come back but nothing will ever be the same again, this is a good thing. They do say that change is the only constant, but we generally have big internal structures that will determine how we respond to change, or react. Sometimes we resist change and even that is not automatically a bad thing, it might be divine redirection taking you on a different path, or perhaps introducing a note of caution.
But there are times when those big constructs of values, beliefs and ideas, need to be challenged and that which is no longer useful, can be let go of. In the Tarot the card of The Tower symbolises this aspect of development, likely you will visit this space more than once in a lifetime if you are growing and evolving through your life. For me there has been a lot of movement in the area of ego, more in the egotistical view of myself as lesser, which is just as silly as having an over-inflated opinion of oneself. Resting in a true appreciation of whatever your gifts are, expressing your life force in whatever is the right way for you in the moment that you are in, sounds much more appealing doesn’t it.
So the question to explore then is what kind of ending do we have here, it feels very balanced so it might be the card of The World where the ending is very complete, not much unfinished business if any. That’s something I will sit with, if there is anything unresolved I need to attend to it so there is nothing barring the way for a new beginning to unfold!
Bring it on my compassionate cohorts, Michael, Germain, Aphrodite and Mary, and all the Heavenly Hordes!!
This is a kind of end of the world song from the late 80’s from “World Party”, it’s called “Ship of Fools”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHh0V7UjVXI
And here is the song that tells you what to do about it, “Private Revolution”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaYcJQej5Uw
There’s been a post brewing in me all day, but until I sit down to write I don’t really know quite what it will be about. There’s a sense of it but it is a knowing that is more in my body and intuitive self, the mind isn’t able to grasp it until the moment that it becomes the wonderful tool that it is, and helps me to form the structure of words that will carry this knowing. To be honest, when I am truly in the flow of creativity the mind is probably more of an observer, it can help with grammar and sentence structure, but even there I tend to feel my way. I remember doing grammar for the first time in early high school, and I always knew the correct answers even though I didn’t know any of the rules. I’d been reading good literature for years, and I just knew when something was correct, it felt right.
I’ve always guided my life by that kind of knowing, but this is something that has become even stronger if that’s possible. When I look at what I have planned for this coming week, I’m tempted to become overwhelmed, but everything I’m doing ‘feels’ absolutely like it will serve my highest good, and it’s therefore necessary to move with ease and grace upon this path. I will do whatever I have to, to make this possible, and that may well mean letting go of anything that doesn’t serve that goal.
I don’t watch television and my shows on dvd have fallen by the wayside, so that’s one distraction that won’t be in the way. I think that the biggest thing that I have to let go of is the notion that it’s all too much, and I don’t have the capacity to achieve my goals. In my last post I talked about beliefs, now I need to put my money where my mouth is, and let go of my own self-limiting beliefs, this release alone will provide enough extra energy to power whatever I need to get done.
I’m also settling in to my new house sit which is out in the bush, there are challenges like a slow combustion stove that I need to learn how to use, but it’s a beautiful energetic space that will support the next stage of my spiritual journey. I’m feeling soooooo excited to be here, as I continue to strip away what isn’t absolutely necessary, what will be left? And what new energies will be coming in, I have my suspicions but am remaining open to whatever spirit chooses to bring to me at this time.
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Tagged beliefs, creativity, energy, goals, highest good, intuitive, knowing, mind, observer, release, self-limiting beliefs, spiritual
From joy and bursting life to an emptiness that is full of pain, as old beliefs fall away the light will always show us what we no longer need, and the letting go can feel like a loss too great to be borne. That void is the place of destruction and of creation, it can drive us to the manifestation of our brightest dreams, or our worst nightmares. It’s important not to try to fill it with anything at all, sit with it and feel the feelings, notice the thoughts and bodily sensations.
What I really would like to do is try out the energy masturbation that Nathan Martin demonstrated and perhaps I will before bed time. Feels like I will need a good bit of time available to do the full energy orgasm including setting the scene by creating a beautiful sacred space. The other practice seems like something I can do here and there as I have bits of time, and is a good way to prepare for the full body orgasm.
Orgasms, sex, anyone would think I was trying to sell something! But isn’t it a subject that most people are thinking about most of the time? Especially because we aren’t allowed to flow and be our natural sexual selves, people who are sexually liberated can think for themselves and we can’t have that can we! So if I’m going to truly come into my power (no pun intended!), then I have to keep focusing on sexual energy, keep shedding the armour that has kept me separate from that vital force.
“Osho Speaks on Sex:
There are methods that can start the energy moving upwards, and in the East, for at least ten thousand years, there has developed a special science, Tantra. There is no parallel in the West of such a science. For ten thousand years people have experimented with how sexual energy can become your spirituality, how your sexuality can become your spirituality. It is proved beyond doubt-thousands of people have gone through the transformation. Tantra seems to be the science that is, sooner or later, going to be accepted in the whole world, because people are suffering from all kinds of perversions. That’s why they go on talking about sex as if that is my work, as if twenty-four hours a day I am talking about sex. Their repressed sexuality is the problem. My whole effort has been how to make your sex a natural, accepted phenomenon, so there is no repression-and then you don’t need any pornography, so that there is no repression-and then you don’t dream of sex. Then the energy can be transformed.”
Sex Matters: From Sex to Superconsciousness, (Osho), in Tantric Orgasm for Women, ( Diana Richardson), Destiny Books, 2004, p 5 & 6.
Time I think to return to the subject of my beloved, I have been considering the public nature of these posts, and started to wonder if I might scare off a potential candidate if he thinks I’m going to expose all here. I will be as honest as I can with my readers, but there are some things best kept private, and developing relationships definitely fall into this category. If I want to express anything in relation to that I will simply have to find suitable metaphors or examples.
So I thought it would be a good idea to express my feelings on the possibility of a beloved coming into my life, yes I am looking for a life partner, but I have no intention of jumping on the first potential mate that turns up. Oh the temptation will be there for sure, old patterns have many layers, and I know for a fact that I still have beliefs that say things like “Grab this relationship and hold on no matter what, it may never happen again!”
These days I am very aware of these old beliefs, and I know that the optimum path is a very different one. What I really need is to have relationships with the right kind of men, conscious, aware, and open to their emotions, to have intimacy that doesn’t have to lead to sex. I need to explore what a truly healthy relationship feels like, and in that process I might find my beloved, or I might find a beautiful new friend. Both of those outcomes are very desirable, almost all of my intimate friends are women, and it would be nice to have more beautiful male friends too.
I haven’t been very comfortable with my own masculine energy in this lifetime, by having more of that energy around me in the form of friends, I may learn to be ok with that aspect of myself. It’s certainly worth following up and as I write this I realise that it actually needs to become a more conscious process. In the 18 months of my mountain change, I have made some wonderful new friends, but the ones I connect with more intimately are all women.
Mmmmmmmmm……..food for thought and for action, oh for more hours in the day to do all the things I want to do!
As I mentioned in my last post I have had a lot of powerful feelings coming up, old negative patterns and belief systems, and I just keep letting go and letting go. Sounds very spiritual doesn’t it, maybe even supernatural???? Very much so and I would like to thank Buffy the Vampire Slayer for being a wonderful distraction from negative self talk! Nine episodes in three days and my head is full of demons and witches, sexy vampires and cute teenage fashions, I may not be a shopper but I still enjoy the outfits.
Yes, I have another confession to make, I LOVE watching fantasy and science fiction shows and reading the books, Ann Rice writes with a seductiveness you will never ever find in a mills and boon romance. Fantasy and science fiction has been a wonderful preparation for the shamanic journey, and the entry into a new quantum reality. As I threw myself into deep journeying through trance, breathwork, bodywork, dance and sound, I found it easier to let go of accepted norms and to allow myself to surrender to strange spiritual dimensions.
It has been a wonderful time of learning and my background as an actor has also come in quite handy, in fact I participated in the creation of theatrical shows some years back in Sydney that were very much transformational theatre. As I have mentioned before, being witnessed is a very powerful tool, and can be a deeply profound experience for both the watcher and the watched.
I was a life model for drawing classes for a couple of years and when you are being looked at with full attention like that you can literally ‘feel’ the energy of that strong focus. It actually feels very erotic but it has nothing to do with the fact that you are naked, nothing kinky going on here I promise. But you are connecting with life force energy, which is sexual energy, it is the most natural thing in the world but unfortunately it is an impulse that has been suppressed by the dominant culture.
I’m not advocating orgies here, but I do think that it is high time we moved beyond adolescent fantasies and an obsession with youth when it comes to sexuality. Being yourself is sexy enough and vibrant health on every level of your being the ultimate aphrodisiac!
Mmmm……. as I look at this picture of Buffy I am thinking about my comments on adolescent fantasies, am I a hypocrite???? Awwwww give me a break, we are all allowed a bit of harmless frivolity, the true challenge is to make the changes in the lives we are actually living. I will keep you posted on my progress!