Tag Archives: Breath

Tuning Into Your Inner Road Map: Finding Perspective.

spiritual energyIn order to clear, things have to get stirred up in the first place, sometimes in ecstatic spaces and sometimes with a fair bit of discomfort. It’s all a part of the process and the more you are able to accept ‘what is’, the less you suffer. Easy to say not always so simple to put into practice, I try to remember to surrender and let the energy keep moving, breathing into it seems to help.

The Inner Neural Workout!

The Inner Neural Workout!

There’s always a lesson too, a map to be read in our cells of emotional, spiritual, mental and physical fields, all holding the stuff of which we are made. Learn to be a reader who can tune in to the finer vibrations, it enriches life in ways beyond imagining as you allow yourself to be there in full.


Being present in all my fullness when there is fear in my belly is pretty intense, it helps to bring the light of awareness into the picture. In that moment I know that however dominating that fear and tension may be, that  it won’t last forever. I think of being in my lover’s arms and melting into that security and it becomes a bit easier to stay with that discomfort in my being.

Getting a bit of perspective can also help if you are ever feeling a bit overwhelmed by what life is throwing at you, when you can see the kind of life that some people live your own problems can seem so much smaller. This video from Carl Sagan’s TV show “Cosmos: A Personal Voyage” certainly puts things in a very sharp perspective, enjoy:


blue geen planet

Woe Is Me.

Letting go is a theme that crops up in my healing process over and over again, let’s face it, it is a constant in life whether you are particularly focused on your evolution or not. You can go into denial and hold on for dear life but sooner or later there are going to be things going on that you cannot control and so you really do have to surrender, even if you are dragged kicking and screaming all the way!

Kerry Laizans Photo by Antara May.

Kerry Laizans
Photo by Antara May.

I am thinking of my experience last week when I came home from a night out feeling light and happy, finished the night off with some dancing to good music which is always a good recipe for me. I decided that I would write my post for the next day while I was in such a good mood, not such a great move after all but I wasn’t to know. My laptop was not behaving itself and what should have been a quick whip through my emails took forever, it was quite late by the time I finally started to write my post.

And then the magic happened, poetic prose came spilling out of me and I had one of those wonderful journeys where I had no idea where I was going until I got there, and felt awed at the result, possibly one of the best things I have ever written. You’re probably wondering which post this was, well you only got to see half of this seminal piece, the computer was still misbehaving but I ignored my intuition which told me to abandon ship and go back to good old pen and paper.  You know where this is leading don’t you, yes I ended up losing half the post and no matter how I tried, I could not find those words again, they were completely in the moment and my left brain had nothing to do with it so it really couldn’t help me out.


It was soooooo hard to let go of it, I ended up staying up far too late in a fruitless attempt to somehow change what had happened or to find that magic flow again. And as I lay in bed I had to use every breathing and relaxation trick in the book to get myself to relax, in the end it was breathing in and out through my heart that began to allow me to let go of my tight clutching of what I felt I had lost. And to satisfy your brimming curiosity, it was “Beauty Walks Before Me”: Oct 5 2013, when I completed the post the next day I couldn’t get a good sense of whether it was good or not, it could never match what I had lost!

Anyway, there seem to be a few who liked it and in the end I didn’t have much choice but to let go, it was gone and life goes on……….surrender to what is………..and listen to your intuition.

You Are The Peace.

The peaked roof and the bell birds are behind me, once again I must needs find the sacred even in the profane and mundane world that I have returned to. Not a very nice thing to say about your mother’s house is it! Actually it’s a perfectly nice house, just feeling the loss of what was the perfect environment for me, more lessons on how to be flexible and adaptable in the ever-moving feast of my life.

I was thinking about sharing another doorway to life’s blissful blessings, and it occurred to me that this is one of those occasions when I ought to be taking my own medicine. So when I’ve finished this post I’m going to meditate, and then perhaps do a bit of writing in my personal journal. Meditation can help us in so many different ways, it’s great for simple relaxation but can also be part of manifesting your dreams, it all depends on how you choose to focus, and your intention.


There are lots of ways to meditate, having a focus for your mind is a very common technique, this can be your breath, an image, a word or a phrase. It’s important to be in a comfortable position with your spine straight, I prefer sitting meditation but everyone is different so find what works best for you. There are lots of meditation cd’s out there too if you find it easier to be guided by someone else, or it may be that playing a particular piece of music will help you to drop into a deep space.

Your busy mind will want to go off on a thousand different paths, don’t be annoyed, after all that’s what minds do, they think. The trick is not to get attached to the thoughts, watch them from a distance or give them wings and watch them fly off into the sunset. And remember, when you are learning something new it takes time and repetition to get better at it, breathe into the frustration and keep at it! Even five minutes a day is worth doing, there is a cumulative effect that will take hold and you will probably find yourself doing more and more of it every day until you reach the point where your day just doesn’t feel right if you haven’t meditated.

That’s the theory anyway, sometimes I meditate a lot, and sometimes not, but one thing I can say for sure, when I meditate I always come away feeling like the world is a brighter place! Thich Nhat Hanh is someone who knows a lot about meditation, to find out more about him check out this interview with Oprah Winfrey: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJ9UtuWfs3U

And here is Thich Nhat Hanh speaking about walking meditation:


Painful Birth.

I was very mindful now as I inched my way across the mini waterfall, it was very slippery and I only had one slightly damaged arm to help me along. The end of the walk should have been a relief but I was in a lot of pain, and there was still the hike out through rugged country to manage. We lit a fire and then I discovered that I hadn’t wrapped my things very well and my clothes were all wet, we hung things up to dry and I wore borrowed clothes. There was food but by this time the pain was so intense I felt nauseous and couldn’t eat a thing.

We contemplated staying the night there but I decided that I would prefer to try to get back to the house, so I put on my damp jeans and we began what for me had become one of the most arduous journeys of my life. The pain was incredibly intense, almost unbearable and it took an enormous effort of will to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I focused on my breath and began to breathe my pain into the embrace of Mother Earth, without that connection and support I don’t think I could have made it back.

Eventually I got back to the house which was full of beautiful people, many of them healers, who surrounded me with love and support. Even through my immense pain, I was beginning to understand that in walking the birth canal I had almost literally relived my own birth. I was induced, drugged and ripped out with forceps, then taken away from my mother for at least 24 hours, so it was an incredibly traumatic experience.

The difference this time was in the support around me, someone insisted on driving  me to the nearest hospital, all they did was give me some pain killers but it was lovely to have all these people looking out for me. Most of them I hardly knew and yet here was all this love pouring out to me. I felt that I was rewriting my program around my birth, not something I would recommend to my clients but that was what I chose to create so it helped to start making sense out of it.

I am reborn!

I am reborn!

Almost at the end of this tale, join me tomorrow for the final installment!

Conspire To Breathe.

Breathing, it’s something we all have in common, without it there would be no life for our physical bodies but most of the time we don’t think about it much, simply take it for granted. Our breath is an incredibly potent tool for healing and  can launch you into a thousand different worlds, other realities. That this has been known for thousands of years can be seen in the yogic traditions of pranayama, up until 1386 it could also be found in the english language in the word conspire, which meant to breathe together. Then this powerful concept was hijacked and the notion of conspiracy was born, instead of breathing together we were plotting and generally up to no good!



Breathwork has been a big part of my self-development and growth, it’s given me great understandings, and  it’s facilitated the release of enormous amounts of my excess baggage. There isn’t a baggage retrieval system in the world that could cope with the amount of luggage I’ve left behind, all that weight it’s a wonder I could lift my feet from the ground in order to walk.

I went into that session feeling a bit like a ghost, I came out feeling calm, full of light and incredibly expanded. In the session I was aware of touching on different past lives as well as aspects of my current biography, not going in to the stories, but being aware that the basic issue of  betrayal and not being able to trust was present in them all. I felt enormous amounts of energy moving in my body and being released, it’s such a wonderful feeling!

There were a couple of days of a little bit of dis-ease in the belly and then clearing it, part of the process of integration I guess, my yoga class was really helpful for this. And now I am in a new house sit and have the space to continue the integration which is such divine timing. I’ve definitely done some good work clearing but I know there is another big lot of stuff to move out and my next breath session will be next week, with the friend I asked originally.

It’s so important to know when to ask for help, I couldn’t have managed this last bit on my own, thank the Goddess for the wonderful supportive community I find myself resting in. Let us all conspire together, for peace, for love and for the birth of the new humanity!