Tag Archives: breathe


I’ve been thinking a lot about what I’m creating in the world right now, and feeling the shape of it inside me. That’s how my process seems to unfold, the ingredients sort of mull around in the back of my … Continue reading

When In Doubt Breathe!

Last week was very intense and bits of it were definitely not fun in the moment, even if I can see the lessons in the various challenges that came my way. There were also moments of great achievement as I managed to master my monkey mind, and allow the wisdom of my heart to guide my responses to what life threw at me. All in all it was an interesting seven days and part of me wants to make a joke about the Chinese expression: “May you live in interesting times”, but if I claim to be cursed I am throwing away all my responsibility and denying the insights and aha moments that littered the path as I went on my merry way!


One of those messages came twice but I didn’t pay a whole lot of attention the first time, when it happened again with another client I had to sit up and take notice. I have two very reliable regulars for massage who both forgot to come to their appointments, a phone call the first time meant the session happened half an hour late. The second time was at the end of my market day and I simply heard nothing at all from her, this meant I was left somewhat hanging in suspension when I was tired at the end of a long and hot day at market.

Business had not been good at the market but my good fortune in other areas made up for this, as long as the energy is flowing I can usually find equanimity. Faced with my no-show at the end of the day I found bits of negative self-talk coming up about putting in all that effort and it all being useless, completely useless. There was a time this would have sent me into a very dark place, but my observer came to the fore and in noticing what was happening I was able to watch it without becoming attached. This takes all the charge out of the feelings and it’s much easier to let them keep moving, that way they can actually leave your organic being altogether.


To read about how I learned to do this check out my three-part story of being buried in the earth, “Into The Ground”: Feb 20, 2013, you’ll find that specific tale in part two: “Feeling The Fear”: https://throughthevortex.org/2013/02/21/feeling-the-fear/  Don’t worry, that just happens to be how I really ‘got’ that particular knowing, you don’t need to go and organise your burial. But maybe try the breathing if you find yourself with strong feelings and/or thoughts coming up that you are having trouble separating yourself from. The breath is a wonderful tool for transformation, its free and accessible to us at any time we so desire.

When in doubt, BREATHE!!!!!

Bug Wars.

Once again I find myself dancing with the bug that keeps coming back to haunt me, if things really do come in threes lets hope that this is the last time! I’m feeling much better since my counselling session last week and doing my best to take care of myself while still doing the things that need to be done. I’ve been working on my writing project as well as reading “The Art of Non-Conformity” and inspiration is flowing, although as I sit here writing this post there are butterflies dancing wildly in my belly.

dancing with butterflies

I didn’t wake up with this feeling and am not sure what triggered it, but at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter what it was. I could say it was a thought that obviously didn’t serve me but that wouldn’t actually be accurate, whatever is moving in me needs to move on, and the trigger is a necessary part of the clearing process, so I bless and honour it. But I don’t enjoy the feeling at all, in my days of unconsciousness this is what would drive me to try to blot everything out by getting stoned or drunk.

Now I sit with the feelings and breathe, bringing the notion of devotion into the equation, devotion to my healing process, to the sharing in this blog, devotion to all the special people in my community, and one in particular who is having a birthday today. As I do this the energy in my belly moves out into my arms and legs, and then starts radiating out into the aether as if I have become a small sun. I begin to breathe in and out of my heart and what was a kind of anxiety has transformed into excitement and anticipation. Now I’m feeling a bit light-headed and there is a sense in my body almost as if I could start to levitate!

Wow, what an interesting and quite spontaneous shift! The imagination is a marvelous gift and if you allow it free rein it can take you anywhere you need to go, a good reminder for me as I continue with my writing project and the development of this blog.  And my sense is that if I can balance self-care with doing the things I am passionate about I will win the battle of the bug, so be warned denizens of the micro world, this gal is no push over, her immunity is strong!


Balance is the theme here as we are heading towards a New Moon in Libra next saturday, but more on that subject later, for now farewell dear friends, good health to you all!

PS: When I finish this post I am going to go for a brisk walk, excited energy is needing to be channelled, transformation of anxious energy motivating even more self-care!

Spirit In The Country.

One of my themes or lessons at the moment is to do with making choices about whether to stress when I feel like I am under pressure. My observer, who I talked about in my last post, steps back and sees that getting anxious about what needs to be done is only one option amongst many. When I feel into my body for the location of the stress, I find it in my belly, a feeling of insecurity. Then I think about what it is that has to be achieved and consciously make the choice to trust that it will all happen beautifully. When I do this there is a clear shift in my belly, a sense of letting go and release, leaving behind joy and peace.

Of course there are times when you truly do need to be doing less, find your balance and answer the call of spirit from a hearted place, so that you may flourish even as you do serve. My recent week in bed tells me that I probably do need to do a bit less, tricky when I love pretty much everything that I do. But I do know what I have to do, find a market for the kind of writing I like to do, the Carrie Bradshaw of the Spiritual Realms, instead of “Sex and the City”, “Spirit in the Country”.


But it won’t be just about relationships, boy and girl stuff, this is the realm of the Spirit and all subjects are up for grabs, there isn’t anything that isn’t grist for the mill. The deeper levels of consciousness are certainly what invite me to explore within, but if you look at images from space and think about the distances out there it is clear that we have barely scraped the surface as far as space exploration goes. And just having astronauts going to the moon and sending back pictures of the earth, changed the consciousness of humanity, what will a journey to the Milky Way do to our perceptions of self and the world. What will contact with other intelligent life out there do to our sense of who we are, the future is an exciting place to be heading towards.


So I choose to be excited and confident that everything is going to work out perfectly in divine timing, that means action too of course, it also means lateral thinking to fit everything in. And there is also a need to be very quiet, still longing for that real stillness that you have out in the bush, remembering to breathe in love and to exhale gratitude.


Heart Story.

Here I am feeling empty and trying not to worry about the things I have to organise in the next couple of weeks, and of course my belly is feeling a bit jumpy. Stuff just keeps getting triggered, and I do find that by actually focusing on the feelings I will often start to feel a bit better, certainly ignoring the stirrings doesn’t help at all. Meditation is a wonderful way to work with uneasy belly, it is a nice sharp focus and the energy may begin to move even before you get a sense of what it’s about. In fact sometimes the energy moves and you don’t need a story, I’m feeling a bit of movement as I write, don’t even know what the feeling is exactly.

It’s in my heart now, I will pause here and do the heart lock meditation from the Heart Math Institute and see what happens. Well the belly is much softer now and my heart feels light, in fact I feel rather spacious in my chest as though there is more room there now. It’s a really simple meditation, you focus on your heart and breathe in and out through it, if you want to take it further then begin to radiate out into the world the warm fuzzy feelings that will begin to emerge. I’ve got a lightness happening from my toes all through the body, and all this without a single piece of narrative.


Mind you, we are story making creatures we humans, and there’s nothing wrong with that, we have an opportunity to create new tales for a new age, so it’s definitely time to let go of the old ones that don’t serve us very well. If knowing what the feelings are about helps you to let go of them, then by all means let that be a part of your process. There isn’t a right way of doing any of this, there is simply your way, and that’s the one that’s right for you!

Here is a clip of Gregg Braden talking about the human heart, very inspiring and you will find out from him just how those kinds of positive feelings can help us, not only physiological benefits but much, much more!


And here is the web site for the Heart Math Institute: http://www.heartmath.org/

Peace And Sunshine.

I acknowledge the part of me that was enjoying the drama of recent events, Nellie Needy felt like any attention was good even if it was making me sick! I will just have to keep breathing into whatever feelings may still be there for Nellie, and to keep letting go. What is left when I turn away from all of that is a big empty waiting space, on this misty, wet and cold day it feels rather sad, and I wonder how I will ever fill it, and if I do what will I put there?

I think the answer is to simply sit with it, and get comfortable with how it is in this moment, then keep doing that for each moment as over time it shifts and changes as things always do. There is an opportunity coming up for me, to dive within in a group sacred space, and that will be the time to truly see what the future holds in this next phase of my journey upon this earth.

It will be interesting to see if this theme of protection continues to be prominent, I will continue with my own personal version of it, but I have been quite astounded by the number of other people having similar issues at this time. In the safety of the sacred circle I will be able to look at this for myself without the fear of attracting unwanted attention,  Nellie will not be needy.


But I must say that Sarah Sunshine is hoping mightily that this soggy weather transforms back into our usual winter fare of freezing cold with blue skies and sunshine! I know one day isn’t enough to develop SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), but whenever the sun goes away I do feel my spirits drop. I’ve posted this before, but it is the perfect way to end a post about grey skies, it’s a fabulous version of “Let The Sun Shine In” from the musical “Hair”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klObyJY1W_I

Watching this clip once again I feel a bit self-centred with all my ponderings about me, in the movie this song is happening as we see images of young men going off to war. May there be peace for evermore so that no-one need die for any cause, let there be peace, shanti, shanti, shanti…………..

Deep And Sacred Space.

Letting go………can be the hardest thing to do, your higher self knows perfectly well that it doesn’t need such small-minded, limited energies around. The small ego self feels rejected and says but, but………I NEED that attention, I do, I do. Oh child be still and breathe, feel the feelings and let them go, unclasp that tight grasp that keeps you anchored to the past, to that which no longer serves you.

let go

Breathe and release the need, breathe and release the fear………..breathe and feel the light pouring into every cell as you make more space for love, for that which will serve the highest purpose……..for all life everywhere. It sounds beautiful and it is, make yourself a sacred space and be still inside it for just a moment. No matter how deep the hurt you will feel joy eventually if you can stay with the discomfort, the dis-ease.

Want to know how to make that deep space for yourself to dive into? Easy peasy, it can be as simple or as complicated as you want it to be. You might light a candle and burn some incense or essential oils, sage or sandalwood are great for space clearing. You can tone or sing or speak an invocation, calling upon whatever has meaning for you as a higher power. Ultimately it comes down to the power of your imagination, your intention, be clear about that and all else will follow.

Here are a couple of videos with ideas about creating sacred space, don’t take any of it as something you have to do, if it resonates take it on, and keep looking, there are loads of great ideas out there!



Begone Demons.

Remember to breathe, the river swirls with multiple currents, and any one of them can carry me away, and in the blink of an eye I’m gone, from the world and from myself. If that’s actually possible, to be gone from the self, to be lost beyond the silver cord that leads back to a warm hearth and food on the table. I think it can be done but I want to do everything with awareness, whether it be pleasure or pain let me know every corner of it, every nuance, the last shining speck of feeling, sparkling inside a soapy bubble that shines in the sun’s light as it is blown by the fairy child, dissolving into the air.

It’s the child I was born to be that I am becoming, not the one who got lost in the fantasy mazes and believed all the bad press that she kept getting, she grew up in a public domain determined to keep her laid low. The new child grew up in the Secret Garden, talking to faeries and goblins, surrounded by the golden life force energy that fills the whole world with wonder and joy at all things. Who would ever have believed that these two could be the very same person, growing up in the same place, yet secretly apart.

The new child is finally grown up and she is mature enough to feel compassion for her darker self, how can I help her to let go of her demons and join hands with me. The answer continues to be relatively simple and contains the usual four letters: LOVE.

I LOVE YOU I say to myself, I LOVE YOU I reply, I look into the mirror and I say I LOVE YOU. I do something really stupid, I LOVE YOU, achieve a great success, I LOVE YOU.


LOVE. wingedheart

The Faerie Circle: Stillness.

The feeling of  a new energy moving in me, it’s been evolving and now the final refit is done, and I’m ready to ride the wave into a future previously unimagined. This is like an inner tsunami sucking me into the becoming that is what and who I am, is who and what I am, in this NOW moment. I ache for that deeper touch, the one who slips into the cracks and becomes warm nourishment without doing anything at all, except be who they are. I ache for that depth and in that yearning the call is sent, it will be received by those who choose to listen, there is not long to wait.

I am so full it’s hard to imagine any greater fullness, and the fuller I become the more that I move into the stillness, the silence, letting go for now, of all those dear connections………… I felt like I was in a great stillness for the whole of yoga today and time was completely meaningless, it wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad, it simply was, and I flowed. And I keep letting go, and letting go, so I guess I could also try not to give myself a hard time when I take a step backwards, it’s called being human and sometimes that hurts a bit, then you breathe and you let go.

Time to dance from that place, move the body and allow it to be a conduit for the energies that are desirous of moving through you, dancing out dreams and visions, throwing out stardust and fairy blossoms! The thing to remember is that the enchantment is always there, we can created special circumstances to highlight it but it is always there, underneath everything.

May the whole world fall under the enchantment of love, of peace and of community, unity and freedom for all.

“All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.”
―    J.M. Barrie,    Peter Pan

“When the first baby laughed for the first time, its laugh broke into a thousand pieces, and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies.”
―    J.M. Barrie,    Peter Pan

Green Fairyearthfairy