Tag Archives: ceremony

Into The Ground Again: A Story Of Grounding.

moontime sacred womanSo here once again is my tale of being buried in the ground for 12 hours. There are never any accidents really you know, there will be a message for me in this reflection of a very powerful shamanic experience which I will never forget. So here for your enjoyment ladies and gentlemen is part one of a four-part story, my time beneath the ground!

Time for a bit of grounding after the latest round of shifts, and what better way to do that than to reflect on my experience of being buried in the earth. I think it was 2004 and I was at the annual gathering of shamanic apprentices, known as Convocation, at a centre where I did a lot of my shamanic studies over a few years.

shamanwhite

We began with the men and women in separate spaces for the first couple of days doing our own business, and then on the third day we came together in ceremony and gathered in the tipi. Our teacher spoke and we listened, eventually he began to talk about a process we were being offered, something the men had already experienced. They had dug shallow graves and been buried in them for 12 hours and now we had an opportunity to do the same thing.

It was a bit scary but how could I refuse! We began to prepare ourselves which included becoming part of a tribal structure of four tribes, we were painted with the symbols of our tribe and got to choose the man who would put us into the ground, stand watch, and then bring us out in the morning. We sat and listened as the men told us of what it was like for them being in the earth and the different ways that they coped with the feelings and sensations that came up for them.

letting-go

You can imagine that being buried would tend to bring up a lot of your stuff! I had a rather practical concern that had nothing to do with my fears and everything to do with my bladder, actually they say if you have to pee a lot that it’s all about being pissed off, and therefore it’s often associated with anger. Anyway, I wanted to last the distance and stay buried for the whole 12 hours so as soon as I realised what we were going to be doing I stopped drinking any liquids.

And so at 7pm as the sun was westering we came to our graves, lined with sheets and doonas, comfortable, yet forbidding. I was in a strange space of unreality, like being caught between the worlds, betwixt the veils that keep our so-called reality in the shape that we are able to recognise. I was about to take a step into the unknown, I knew not what I would find there, but my trepidation was infused with excitement at the prospect of diving into the depths of the mother, into the dark womb of the void.

The Earth's Embrace.

Tune into my next post to find out what happened next, you have 24 hours of antici…………….pation to move through! Of course I realise that you all have a life and many other fascinating things to occupy your time with, but allow me just this once, to be a bit of a drama queen. After all this is a pretty dramatic story.

PS: I was posting every day back then in February 2013, so I am afraid you will have to wait until next Wednesday!

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Apocalypse Now.

Post_apocalypseReeling through the haze of a post-apocalyptic state, I realise that the revolution has been huge in the inner realms, end times always get bad press. Hasn’t anyone heard about the ones who banded together and co-operated their way into a golden new future, based on the principles of respect for all forms of life, all of it. And remember that this has to happen on a smaller scale, one bit of consciousness at a time, so don’t go banging on about how you don’t matter. There isn’t a single piece of anything in the known universe that isn’t worthy of the greatest respect, life is truly a miracle and I feel really plugged into that at the moment.

Some great lyrics here from World Party with their song “Private Revolution”:

happiness revolution

So I need to try to take responsibility for myself in the fullest way that I can, that means flexibility and the ability to respond so shedding is often on the schedule. As we move into the energy of the Winter Solstice, coming from an adventurous Full Moon in Sagittarius to the darkest point of the year, I can feel the old energies that I am letting go of. Through ceremony, yoga, herbs and food and the spiritual practices of relationship I can feel this energy that is being spewed out almost it feels. Certainly purging and I am pretty sure this is a case of better out than in, I don’t always need to know what I am releasing but it is clear that this is uncomfortable material.

light-in-the-darkness

Thanks to all of you who follow my ramblings, writing this to you is helping me to integrate and process the energies moving through, never underestimate the power of some kind of journaling. But I think I need to let go of the overview and just be in each moment for a bit now so I will bid you farewell and see you on friday!

Love and blissings!

Gallop Apace Oh Lover Of Mine!

phaeton R and JGallop apace, you fiery-footed steeds,
Towards Phoebus’ lodging: such a wagoner
As Phaethon would whip you to the west,
And bring in cloudy night immediately.
Spread thy close curtain, love-performing night,
That runaway’s eyes may wink and Romeo
Leap to these arms, untalk’d of and unseen.
Lovers can see to do their amorous rites
By their own beauties; or, if love be blind,
It best agrees with night. Come, civil night,
Thou sober-suited matron, all in black,
And learn me how to lose a winning match,
Play’d for a pair of stainless maidenhoods:
Hood my unmann’d blood, bating in my cheeks,
With thy black mantle; till strange love, grown bold,
Think true love acted simple modesty.
Come, night; come, Romeo; come, thou day in night;
For thou wilt lie upon the wings of night
Whiter than new snow on a raven’s back.
Come, gentle night, come, loving, black-brow’d night,
Give me my Romeo; and, when he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun.
O, I have bought the mansion of a love,
But not possess’d it, and, though I am sold,
Not yet enjoy’d: so tedious is this day
As is the night before some festival
To an impatient child that hath new robes
And may not wear them. O, here comes my nurse,
And she brings news; and every tongue that speaks
But Romeo’s name speaks heavenly eloquence.

This was my audition piece for NIDA many years ago, I have often thought of it since I found my Beloved six months ago, especially in the first couple of months when we would have sometimes three or four days apart. Waiting for him to arrive I felt like Juliet who is desperately longing to lose her maiden hood to her beloved Romeo.

From Franco Zeffirelli's film of Romeo and Juliet.

From Franco Zeffirelli’s film of Romeo and Juliet.

If you are not familiar with Shakespeare I invite you to read carefully through the words and think about what the imagery is saying to describe Juliet’s feelings, essentially she is hanging out for darkness when Romeo is due to arrive. It is a lovely state of flurried feelings and excitement and delighted anticipation and feeling like you just can’t wait!

Almost feels like that time for us now as we have just celebrated our six month anniversary, we made it a special day and it was simple and yet amazing and our relationship feels like it has hotted up again, if that’s possible. Ritual is a wonderful way to add power to our intentions and help us to go deeper, and it can be completely spontaneous. Juliet, I know exactly how you feel honey, you go for it girl!

The Gentle Shift Into Love Of Self.

Anima Animus by Toni Carmine Salerno

Anima Animus by Toni Carmine Salerno

Well here I am on the ‘other’ side and I came through in a gentle fashion, I must confess to being somewhat relieved. I can’t tell you what I let go of or even exactly what information came through, I think that we sometimes receive downloads from spirit that only come into our conscious awareness when we need that particular knowledge. So I went deep and came out feeling peaceful and calm and with an enormous sense of gratitude for my extraordinary life. To share sacred circle space with your Beloved is the most exquisite joy and something I’ve been yearning for, it was certainly on my wish list when I used to think about the kind of relationship I wanted in my life.

sacredmarriage

Masculine Feminine SpiritForceAfter the ceremony the terror did return but I was not so attached to it this time and so it was much easier to ride the edge and to allow the energy to be released. As I sit here writing I can feel a trembling in the cells of my body that is the shift which is flowing out of the letting go of tension and fear. I will do the psychotherapy session that I have planned and I will continue to be with my Beloved in those deep places where we open to the Divine together. And I will continue to listen to my inner voice in order to know how to support the physical side of this affair, if I am truly honest there is always a part of me that knows the right course of action. And more and more I do actually follow the guidance of this inner wisdom that we all have access to. And if I don’t sometimes I promise faithfully not to give myself a hard time for it, it only makes matters worse!

So the journey continues and as I let go of self-loathing and terror I open the path for positive energies to flow freely in my life, as my good friend Michael Laughing Wolf always says, “Love self, do next thing”.

Spring Fever.

So we have passed through the Spring Equinox and birthed into the energy of new growth and blossoms, it is a strong current this year of 2013, we are poised upon the edge of change. Just not sure how many years that edge represents, but certainly in my life time, and I expect to be around for the next 70 years or so.

blossoms

So what to do with that burst of growth, I will keep listening to the land for what I need to do in the way of ceremony, on the earth. My new-found staff held the feminine energy in the fire circle for the Equinox, initiated into the land and creating a connection with the land from which it was birthed, strengthening the song line and holding space for healing and anchoring. I am beginning to get a sense of how to begin to decorate the staff, I think it may come one step at a time but I will begin to look out for the right crystals.

But the answer to my question? Why do absolutely whatever it is that you really, really want to do, live your dream as you step into your fullness. Don’t feel like you have to do things the way they’ve always been done, mmmm……reminds me of “The Art of Non-Conformity”, another book to read, what a lot of yummy resources there are out there for our delectation. As you can probably tell I am in a juicy space after a beautiful Equinox, I’ve dropped some of my niggling doubts about my knowing, as well as surrendered to the fact that maybe it’s ok to have doubts and to simply sit with the discomfort.

But more than anything, to be true to self, to love self as deeply and profoundly as you can, I have a friend who always says, “Love Self, Do Next Thing”. I think this sums up how I need to navigate through the next little while, being that present requires a huge faith, a faith that keeps getting fanned higher so I never fall out of it for long. The biggest part of that process is having the encouragement of a hearted and beautiful community for whatever it is that I might want to explore, in public or in private.

girlfriends

Because you know I don’t tell you absolutely everything, a girl has to have some privacy! Only my good girlfriends get that privilege, do you have someone you could tell anything to who really ‘gets you’? If the answer is no then please think about how you could create that in your life, it is such an amazing support even as life challenges us.

We couldn’t get by without a little help from our friends, that’s what Joe Cocker reckons: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKnkOTTwitw

Loving Earth.

After a day spent in another space-time reality, timeless and deeply connected to the energies moving within Durga, the mother, I come home to a HeartFire Gateway message that moves me to write a poem. The message was:

So what then is it?

What shall it be?

What truth is the HeartFire illuminating for thee?

LotusFlower

My response:

Durga.

The HeartFire held at the centre of me

spirals into the vortex

that spins at the core

a many petaled lotus flower

opening to receive

holding space

radiating love

moving more deeply

into the fullness

that I be

when I spend time

with thee.

thefool

Its time to follow the guidance that first told me I had to go to the country so that they could communicate more clearly with me, and to do ceremony on the land, some ceremony I am already participating in and it is taking me deeper and deeper……………as I listen to the voice of the land, so shall the land speak through me. I feel so blessed to be where I am, perfectly poised on the edge of the unknown, serene as The Fool who has such faith and trust in life, knowing that as I surrender to divine timing, my divinity shines forth, radiating love. Love really is all you need………………………..

The Beatles knew……… http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xmk14_the-beatles-all-you-need-is-love_music

 

The Cathedral Of Sound.

Rising from sickness she marshalls her energy and prepares for the ceremony of healing, dressing with great care and attention to detail, her heart begins to soften and open. The scene is set and filled with the laughter of children and unseen sprites, dancing with joy through the sacred space, the sense of community, of belonging, fills her with the energy of love. Friendly faces abound and call out to our heroine, reminding her that she is never ever alone, the Goddess is within her, and in this place is seen and acknowledged.

The bad spirits are fleeing as she drinks the fiery brew that brings her to new levels of sensitivity, that opens up even more of the Goddess within, the hearth fire that lies at the centre of all of us. The energy of the masculine dances around her feeling the strength and delight of her fair form, desiring to connect with her deep femininity. Her softness responds and she enjoys the dance, but then ’tis time for the dance of the soul to begin, the alchemical transformation that will banish the sickness as if it had never been.

Me dancing with orbs! Photo by Antara May.

Me dancing with orbs!
Photo by Antara May.

Whirling and swirling, her body moves in a continuous flow as she becomes a channel for the energy of the sound, angel orbs play in the frequencies as she sends the light up through her crown. Ecstatic spaces within and without as the movement transmutes and transforms, the magicians holding the space in this cathedral finding ever more transcendent levels of prayer. The Goddess fills our heroine with her energy until the two are indistinguishable, the mystery is complete and somewhere in the levels of existence a candle is lit.

The Earth smiles…………..and so do I, for she is me and I am her, the heroine is my story, and I choose to be the Goddess in myself, in all things. Praise the Goddess for she is healed!

Here is a youtube clip of the magicians of sound who created the space for us to move in ecstasy through, Hayden Hack Infusion:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quPMnNXEf4g