There’s an old paralysis moving through me, it’s a slow energy that can while away hours reading, it feels uncomfortable and manifests as uneasy belly. Now that’s something I haven’t talked about much lately, I’m sure it’s cropped up here and there but I process my world very differently now that I am with my Beloved and the focus tends to be on us rather than me. So when he is away for a few days I sometimes find it difficult to find my place within myself, there are things to be done and I don’t want to do any of them.
In the end all I can do is surrender to the overwhelming nature of this slow energy moving through my body and get things done as best I can. Instead of spreading the tasks out over a longer time I may end up with a busy end of the week to achieve it all. And who is to say that isn’t a perfectly reasonable way of going about the daily tasks of life, the part of me that thinks there is a ‘right’ way of doing everything is still trying to give me a bit of a hard time.
That old paralysing feeling used to prevent me from doing anything once upon a time, I would have trouble even getting out of bed! Now I can choose to see it as a part of me that stops me from going too hard at things, the bit that wants to take life easy. As long as I’m having a good life and no one is being hurt then the details of how it happens are pretty much up to me.
Then life changes suddenly and unexpectedly and my energy for doing kicks in as I centre myself by doing physical tasks. Bringing in washing and organising the compost, finding a spare key for our new flat mate. Change not completely unheralded but was expecting a phone call to arrange the possibility rather than someone simply turning up on the doorstop.
At the end it is all ok, simply a matter of adjusting to the new circumstances and getting on with what is a wonderful life in the Magic Kingdom. And now I am really glad that I spent all that time reading, I had a really good relax for what might be the last time I will have the place to myself. Really looking forward to the return of my Beloved…………… blissings to you all!
One of my themes or lessons at the moment is to do with making choices about whether to stress when I feel like I am under pressure. My observer, who I talked about in my last post, steps back and sees that getting anxious about what needs to be done is only one option amongst many. When I feel into my body for the location of the stress, I find it in my belly, a feeling of insecurity. Then I think about what it is that has to be achieved and consciously make the choice to trust that it will all happen beautifully. When I do this there is a clear shift in my belly, a sense of letting go and release, leaving behind joy and peace.
Of course there are times when you truly do need to be doing less, find your balance and answer the call of spirit from a hearted place, so that you may flourish even as you do serve. My recent week in bed tells me that I probably do need to do a bit less, tricky when I love pretty much everything that I do. But I do know what I have to do, find a market for the kind of writing I like to do, the Carrie Bradshaw of the Spiritual Realms, instead of “Sex and the City”, “Spirit in the Country”.
But it won’t be just about relationships, boy and girl stuff, this is the realm of the Spirit and all subjects are up for grabs, there isn’t anything that isn’t grist for the mill. The deeper levels of consciousness are certainly what invite me to explore within, but if you look at images from space and think about the distances out there it is clear that we have barely scraped the surface as far as space exploration goes. And just having astronauts going to the moon and sending back pictures of the earth, changed the consciousness of humanity, what will a journey to the Milky Way do to our perceptions of self and the world. What will contact with other intelligent life out there do to our sense of who we are, the future is an exciting place to be heading towards.
So I choose to be excited and confident that everything is going to work out perfectly in divine timing, that means action too of course, it also means lateral thinking to fit everything in. And there is also a need to be very quiet, still longing for that real stillness that you have out in the bush, remembering to breathe in love and to exhale gratitude.
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Tagged belly, breathe, choice, city, consciousness, country, divine, gratitude, heart, lesson, love, peace, shift, spirit, stress, trust, writing
There are times when I manage to cruise even when I have a lot to do, it’s the everything always works out every other time, so why shouldn’t it this time frame of mind that I am referring to here. When you surrender to that flow then somehow it all fits in, and if you’ve made the choice not to stress well even better! I am getting clearer and clearer on the ways in which we are always choosing how to respond to whatever might be going on, and there is always a way that involves letting go to what is, acceptance and trust.
I find myself very grounded in red, the red shoes are ushering in a new strength in the base, full of earth, rich tigers eye for the solar plexus and solid jasper for the heart and the throat. Being fully in that heart space, softly in coherence, gently glowing and softening, dropping down, down………..I am the earth and the earth is me.
I still arrive, in order to laugh and to cry.
to fear and to hope.
The rhythm of my heart is the birth and death
of all that is alive.
I am a mayfly metamorphosing
on the surface of the river.
And I am the bird
that swoops down to swallow the mayfly.
From “Please Call Me By My True Names” by Thich Nhat Hanh.
I am the wind and I am the sunshine, the moon is a part of me as are the tides that her influence controls, my blood flows through me just as water flows through the rivers and creeks. I am everything, and everything is me…………..
Check out Jah Wobble as he sings about how we really are a part of everything:
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Tagged acceptance, choice, coherence, earth, flow, grounded, heart, Jah Wobble, letting go, stress, surrender, Thich Nhat Hanh, trust
I connect to this land, intention flowing out through my roots and bringing up a sense of belonging. My soul is held and nurtured by this energy, even though I walk in the shadow of the valley of death. Going into the underworld with faith in your heart, knowing that your path is that way, and that you will be all the better for it. Of course it also depends on the choices you make, there’s always a choice and I choose to watch my pain moving when it needs to do so, as opposed to attaching. This place hath held me in such a deep, and such a safe space.
I know the feeling now and when the time for roaming is done, I shall find that space and there shall I settle. T’will be a foundation for a fortunate life on the path of spirit, all things will flow from an open heart and a quiet mind. Good to know what will serve you, and good to let go of whatever is no longer serving the highest good of not only yourself, but of all life everywhere. So be it, so be it, so be it……………
I have made such deep connections in this wonderful community but the land never sang through my feet until I came to the fairy cottage and became the Princess in her bower. That energy is helping me to become the Queen, along with the inner space that is opening up and allowing me to access much more of who I am, bringing forth great gifts and treasures for all the world to see. Everything is coming together and the final pieces of the puzzle are very close to turning up now, this connection with the land here being a most important and unexpected, and indeed welcome piece, of the jigsaw of my life!
Aboriginal people have a very different relationship to the land than we generally do in western culture, they see themselves as a part of the country as opposed to ‘owning’ it. This song from “One Night The Moon”, ‘This Land is Mine” shows that difference very clearly, check it out!
There is a sense of space unfolding within me, great vistas opening up as I let go of the connection that held me hostage, even as I held it. It’s true what they say, control is generally a two-way street, although that’s hard to accept when we see victims being treated in horrific ways. If we all choose to be here on the planet and choose where and who we will be born to, then there’s always going to be personal responsibility for the consequences of those choices. And there are those who come here to help and support the weak and the helpless, as long as they are working to empower those who are powerless, the balance may be restored.
I choose to focus on that journey in my inner world as I step into my power, my neediness falls away and there is a new steadiness and confidence in my body, mind and soul. It will be necessary to remain mindful, the connections that have been severed will probably not go quietly, I will have to remain in my own power and integrity, not allow myself to be hooked back into the drama. Without the dramas I have the room to pursue my dreams, to explore these landscapes that are emerging from the hidden depths of this magnificent soul, that has been lost in the arrogance of low self-esteem for far too long.
Low self-esteem, arrogance? A strange combination you might say, but I understood quite some time ago that my lack of confidence in myself was as much of an ego trip as someone like Clive Palmer or Gina Rinehart. The term that conveyed this to me at the time was, “Who am I to refuse the flow of spirit through me?”. So now I make the affirmation, to open fully to spirit and to allow it to flow through me in whatever ways are most appropriate, to benefit not only myself, but all life in all its forms, everywhere.
So be it, so be it, so be it.
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Tagged balance, choice, connection, control, empower, flow, journey, life, mindful, soul, space, spirit
In my perfect world I left the festival and discovered that my car battery was flat, an encounter with some Woodfordian Angels provided jumper leads so I could get home. All’s well that ends well? Not entirely, my brake lights won’t go off and although it’s a simple repair my mechanic is away on holiday for another week.
I need to use my imagination to create the outcome that I desire, sounds easy doesn’t it but what do I actually do? Taking the process step by step I start by considering possibilities as indeed I have been doing, I begin to make enquiries and already they have borne fruit as I now have the names of a few mobile mechanics.
Once again I meet the part of myself that creates scarcity, a mobile mechanic is probably going to cost a lot more than just going to my regular guy would, yet it would be a very simple if more expensive solution. There are other ways of solving the problem, I may be able to borrow a car for a week and wait for my mechanic to come back. There are no right or wrong choices here, simply different paths all leading to the desired outcome.
It’s a bit like all the different doorways that lead to the realm of spirit, of unity and of love, no matter which door you take you will end up there. After I finished writing that last sentence I paused, and as I read it again I really felt those words in my body, and a little of the anxiety in my belly was eased. Then I toned for a minute and a little more ease crept in, I almost feel a bit light-headed and I am reminding myself that I always find a way through every situation I encounter, after all I’m still here aren’t I! When I imagine it often comes through my kinesthetic or body sense rather than a visual, hey, whatever works is fine by me!
Just to provide a sequel, I did find a mechanic open for business but ended up going with the mobile mechanic who infused me with confidence when I spoke to him. I went with my gut feeling and I reckon those neurons in my belly are pretty smart!
Smart Belly, not so sure about the brain! Photo by Ulli Hansen.