Tag Archives: clarity

Bless Your Triggers: They Will Help You To Grow!

smiley face daisyOnce again I am going back to the past, this time over a year ago to a post I wrote about triggers on February 28 2013, it was a turbulent year in terms of stuff coming up and it helped me to grow and evolve very quickly indeed. The particular trigger who was in my thoughts when I wrote this turned out to be highly manipulative and knew exactly what he was doing, in spite of that I bless him for all the deep trauma he helped me to uncover and to let go of, allowing me to become the happy and fulfilled person I am today! The title was “Point Your Trigger To My Heart”, particularly catchy I thought but only one photo in the whole post so I have added a few, nice to see how I’ve evolved over time.

I’d like to have a bit of a yarn about triggers, not the kind that help you to blow your brains out when attached to a gun, the ones that help you get your stuff moving. They tend to be the people you care about, or hate, the ones that annoy you on a regular basis, and of course when desire is involved stuff tends to come flying up from every which way!

exploding with stuff

The important thing to remember about triggers, is that most of the time the reaction you are experiencing is way out of proportion to what has actually occurred. In fact a lot of the time they have nothing to do with the feelings that are coursing through you, but the temptation to point the finger of blame and to project is very powerful. Not only are you dumping on an innocent, you are missing out on the opportunity to take responsiblity for your own feelings and let go of old patterns that are no longer serving you.

I’m the first to admit that I tend to go a bit unconscious when something nasty is moving through, but it doesn’t take me too long these days to realise what’s going on. If the situation seems to show my unwitting trigger in a bad light, I immediately cease any and all speculation about what was actually going on. After all, if it’s my own stuff coming up, then it’s inside my inner world that I will find any answers. And once I understand what my feelings are connected to, the situation that set it all off generally makes a great deal of sense, and I offer a prayer of gratitude and blessings to the one who has helped me into this space of greater clarity.

Now I’m not excusing bad behaviour here, if someone is rude or unkind or unfair, you have every right to respond in an appropriate fashion. There are people who have to be separated from the rest of the community because they are dangerous. But as Kabir said, “Do what you do with another human being, but never put them out of your heart.” When you harden your heart against another,  you hurt yourself as much as the other person, choose to be in your loving heart and you have instant protection. And the response you make is much more likely to be non-judgemental and appropriate to the situation.

Wherever I ramble it is always my heart that I come back to, in that still space full of love and acceptance, I feel welcomed and held. In these uncertain times when our inner beings are being flung around in the storms within, the heart is our safe refuge, the port that I call home.

lovegun

 

Write, Release, Transition With Gratitude And Love.

spider writingWell I asked for clarity and that’s what I got in my medicine circle, some messages still to come but what has come through is very clear. Three posts a week in this blog is wonderful but to truly take on and inhabit that role I need to be doing more. If I win the lottery tomorrow I need to do more writing even if it’s me volunteering my time. That’s what spider came to tell me and it was delivered rather dramatically so I  really ought to take notice.

The horses are representing my sexuality which is flowering like a thousand petaled lotus flower and triggering all sorts of stuff. Bladder infections, rashes, all the disapproval and judgement that has come into my being through the experience of coming into the world through the particular energetic pathways that I have, is being released.

horse libido

When you let go of stuff that has been placing limitations on your potential there is an adjustment that needs to be made in the cells of the body. Integration is required and as this occurs change will flow from the new frequencies, as I feel my way into that flow I will find the details of this new chapter.

LotusFlower

So I will endeavour to be patient and cheerful as I go through this transition, life is pretty good so it becomes easy to have gratitude.

As a friend reminded me today, “An attitude of gratitude, gives you the altitude!”

Fly high my friends!

“Some day, after we have mastered the winds, the waves, the tides, and gravity, we will harness for God the energies of love; and then for the second time in the history of the world man will have discovered fire.”

flames burn

Teilhard de Chardin.

The Medicine Just Got Sweeter, From The Everyday To Mary Poppins!

godgoddesstreeI’ve got this message at the top of my screen, it is trying to get me to change security settings and it’s all very serious and I am having trouble wrapping my head around what I actually need to do. I’m bobbing along in a bubble of happiness and joy and it can be a bit challenging to come to earth and do practical things, particularly not being the most practical of persons naturally. But I am doing my best and in the meantime exploring what it feels like to be so happy, everything seems easy from this space and the flow happens, in whatever is the most efficacious manner.

And things keep changing but there is a new continuity in my life that changes everything, I manage neurotic pets, writing commitments, shopping and yoga, giving a massage and getting my hair done, all in preparation for time with my Beloved. And time in my community, where I am constantly connecting with beautiful people who celebrate with me my joys, support if I do sorrow. Life is actually pretty good as we approach the Summer Solstice, the completion of what felt like a very important cycle to me, some of it quite painful, but the clarity on the other side is well worth it!

sunclouds

Really challenge yourself and see what comes up, sit with the feelings and if you can let it be a journey then it may take you into a deeper awareness of body, mind……soul………heart. If you don’t like the feelings and the types of outcomes they tend to produce, then be present with the discomfort, you can let go of that stuff forever. Feels like I have let go of rather a lot of heavy stuff that I really didn’t need anymore, life is both simpler and more complex, in the most delightful way!

Just like this song from Mary Poppins, “A Spoon Full of Sugar”, you have to love Julie Andrews, she is just perfect in this role and what a voice!

The Time Is Now.

My roots reach deeply into the ground, the earth, the soil, the place where love comes from, even as my branches and leaves receive sunlight’s joy. Meeting in my heart, these gentle and striking energies join together in delicious merge, polarities becoming one, complementary forces making love. I stand tall, and receive this flow into every cell of this marvelous vehicle made of flesh and bone, an organic being of light.

godgoddesstree

Conscious of the glow in each molecule, inspiration feeding the river that looks for spirit’s markers, and goes where it will. A choice in every moment, the chance to say yes, to embrace the unknown………..from microcosm to macrocosm, feeling the sweetness of trust, of sacred journey. With each step a growing awareness, ’tis time to release the weights that have dogged the path before thee, that have held thee from being at one with God, the all that is.

Letting go into softness and feeling clarity and purpose welling up in place of that which was no longer needed, knowing as much as I need to know, no more. I step into a new chapter that contains so much hope it fills my entire being with star light, my friends from faraway places reach out to each and every one of us, you only have to ask, you only have to ask.

body-of-light

This is now, all points in time merge into a single pointed facet that reflects the end and the beginning of absolutely everything, we are awakening and the time is now, and now and now……….. Wake, oh wake dear sleepers, you have been sleeping for so long, and what dreams you have created, now turning to dust and blowing away upon the winds of change.

It is time, “We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.”

For the full Hopi prophecy check out this link: http://www.matrixmasters.com/takecharge/hopi-prophecy.html

Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark.

When we talk about stuff coming up, most people automatically assume that something negative or difficult is responsible for the triggering. But that isn’t always the case, sometimes you can have experiences that are blissful and ecstatic that bring up uncomfortable feelings. My deep connection with Mother Earth that I spoke of in my last post is an example of this, although the stuff that came up was like light butterflies zooming around in my belly, and the feeling that eventually came up was a gentle sorrow.

butterfliesmulti

I am in a period of great clarity having shifted an enormous amount of stuff over the last ten months, so what is coming up for me at the moment when it does happen is pretty easy to deal with. But that isn’t always the case, and it can make people resistant to the process of moving into their fullness however they may be approaching it. On some level they are aware that discomfort could arise and that brings up the resistance to letting go of the old patterns of behaviour.

I am reminded of that wonderful quote from Marianne Williamson:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”

I gave a sound and body healing session to a friend yesterday, and that’s what got me thinking about this subject matter. It was beautiful and flowed very organically, the words that came out of my mouth, my movements and sounds, all pure channeling. I was very much in my fullness and it was a wonderful experience for her and for me. She stayed on for a cuppa and as we talked I gradually began to feel rather strange inside my body, a little bit nauseous and disconnected from myself and the world around me. It wasn’t very comfortable at all, but after she’d gone I did a short meditation that brought peace into my body, as I let go of the swirling energies, coming back into balance again.

sunclouds

So don’t let potential darkness stop you from stepping into the spot light and showing off all your gifts and talents to the world, without the dark how would we know what light was? I speak with the knowledge of someone who has spent most of her life hiding her light under a bushel, and I know how hard it is to come out. If I can do it anyone can………………..what is it that you really want to do, what is your passion, your heart song……….follow it to your bliss, and don’t be afraid of the dark!

Which reminds me of a beautiful song, here is “You’ll never walk alone” from the musical “Carousel”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6V9EbnNx6U

 

My Red Toenails.

You know I think this might be the longest period I have ever experienced with so little stuff coming up to be cleared, I feel an enormous sense of gratitude that all the turmoil of the first six months of this year has paid such a wonderful dividend. Yet when I focus on the emptiness and the clarity I find there is also a faint sense of fear or uncertainty, I’m pretty sure this is the ego, after the wholesale clearing that I’ve been through it is wondering how to define itself. I am even daring to think that some issues might actually be completely cleared, when you’ve been shovelling manure out-of-the-way for as long as I have surely there has to be an end to it at some point!

redtoenails

When I gaze down at my red-painted toe nails I feel a particularly great sense of achievement, there was a time when they were red with blood after I had compulsively ripped them to pieces. Not a pretty image is it, it was something I had no control over for many years but gradually over time it became less and less. Then as we were coming to the end of summer in february this year I realised that I had gone a whole summer without touching my toes at all. I decided to celebrate by having my first ever pedicure, I had the whole shebang, foot soak, scrub and massage and at the end I had these beautiful purple toes.

It might seem a bit trivial but for me it was a huge shift, I don’t know exactly what was associated with that particular habit but it is definitely gone. When I think of what that impulse used to feel like I can feel the tension and desperation that was in there, now there is peace, security and love. All right I will be honest, as I write this I can feel a bit of a stirring in my belly, perhaps focusing on this bit of my past is bringing up any residue that may remain. So perhaps I will play it safe and say, “I’ve cleared that layer of stuff!”

ohmshanti

So be it, so be it, so be it………….shanti, shanti, shanti………peace, peace, peace…..

A World In Transition.

My next toning circle is going to be on 31 August, so we will be marking the transition from winter into summer, feels like we are jumping into the heat early this year. There will no doubt be some spring like weather too, but for me it’s the summer time that is almost upon us, and time to reap the harvest for whatever we may have sown, over months, years………… I think there might be a big transition occurring on a cosmic level at the moment and it’s being reflected in the lives of many as we respond to that energetic environment. A lot of readings that I am doing certainly reflect the huge shift that is happening in the world, for each of us the actual circumstances may vary but the essence is the same.

The Dumbbell Nebula, also known as Messier 27, pumps out infrared light in this image from NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope.

The Dumbbell Nebula, also known as Messier 27, pumps out infrared light in this image from NASA’s Spitzer Space Telescope.

So the question is how to travel through the shifts and changes with ease and grace, and I guess the first part of that is the act of bringing awareness to whatever is happening in your life. This is where the observer comes in, stepping back and actually seeing what you are doing, the behaviours that are creating what’s going on. This can take practice but it does get easier over time, and once you can see with that kind of clarity there is a sense of liberation that comes with achieving a deeper knowledge and understanding of yourself.

compassion2

So when the changes stir things up for you bring that clarity of mind to the situation, and ask yourself what might help with moving the energy along and out of your organic system. Keep the energy in your body flowing as much as possible and you will manage smoother travelling on the roads of change, staying grounded in everyday practicalities can also be a huge help in remaining positive about your experiences. And sometimes there are pot holes on the road of your journey and you simply have to surrender to a bumpy ride for a time, just keep your safety belt on and know that it won’t last for ever.

Loving Me.

Unconditional love and self-acceptance, easy on the days when you feel on top of the world and like everything is going your way! When you are feeling discomfort of any kind it starts to become much harder to feel that love for self, yet the path to ultimate happiness usually involves spending time with dis-ease. I talk about sitting with the uneasy stuff a lot and I do my best to be present with it, but sometimes you just want it to go away without doing anything clever or enlightened, I just want to feel better!

When it’s actually a physical reaction you might be having, for example an allergic response to something, it seems much harder to combat with tools such as meditation or tapping. When you’re having powerful symptoms that are impacting you and making you feel sick, you tend to feel that a straightforward physical remedy is what’s needed. And that may be true, but you can still always change the way that you are perceiving the situation.

So I guess I measure my success in life in some ways, by the way I handle the uncomfortable bits. It seems like a balance between accepting what is, and looking at what needs to change, after all the uneasy stuff is generally pointing in the direction of things that need to be changed. Or perhaps it would be better to say that we need to simply let go of what is not working for us,  and as that goes we can see much more clearly that which does work, and that has always been there underneath all the crap.

On the day you read this post I will be in the middle of packing and sorting and chucking as I get clarity on the physical stuff that has been in storage for so long. No time for writing posts while that’s going on, so I will let you know after the dust has settled, if I manage to get through this process in a way that is successful by my definition.

Loving me, loving all things, loving this life………….love is all you need.

Wham Bam Thank You Mam!

I toyed with the idea of scrapping my last post, not sure it quite hung together, but then I decided it was probably reflecting me exactly where I was in that moment, once again I find myself imperfect! There I was saying how nice it was to be clear for a change, and then wham bam thank you mam, huge amount of stuff on the move, deepest loss and abandonment, full of such sadness. I think it is something you could describe as a moving feast, sometimes the dishes are good and sometimes they are flavoured with regret, grief, or anger.

David Bowie: he played out his 'stuff' for all to see, some great music came out of that process!

David Bowie: he played out his ‘stuff’ for all to see, some great music came out of that process!

I am certainly getting clearer and clearer on what I do and do not want in my life, even when the emotional storm leaves you feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck, there is a sense of clarity that comes as the storm begins to clear. That feeling that so much has been washed away, there is a new world to explore where nothing is quite the same anymore. There is a choice, you can yearn for the old way of being, or you can look with excitement to a whole new perception of the reality around you. If I am being truthful about myself here, and I really do try to be very honest with you all, I probably go between those two states, with the new way gradually gaining more power and momentum until you find yourself positively humming in that direction!

It’s a great theory and I do practice it, although in practice it might not always be so easy to see the pattern of back and forthing as it is happening. The main thing is to keep releasing anything that isn’t serving you, and if it keeps coming up then keep releasing it, repetition being an important part of change. And let your heart draw you in the direction of the new reality that is opening up to you, it will know what to do if you allow it to do what it does best, embracing and surrendering, loving all things, seeing the life force in everyone………….

Love is all you need…………..blissings.

This is kind of gratuitous but I thought of this David Bowie song when I remembered the phrase, wham bam thank you mam. He is so young and so utterly beautiful, in such an androgynous way, must have been so many boys and girls in love with him then, me being one of them, enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSQ0LWnFx7w

Brave The Storm!

I keep thinking of that Split Enz song, ‘Six Months in a Leaky Boat’, I’ve recently had ten days that felt like being in a storm on a boat in the middle of the ocean, there were calm spells but the storm kept coming back, and I felt incredibly battered and bruised by the end of it. The sea of course is representing my emotional state of being, the trigger was very much outside of me and created a swirling vortex of mixed emotions. And finally I began to allow myself to feel anger, I know I always say, “Don’t blame the trigger”, but there’s nothing wrong with righteous anger in response to inappropriate behaviour, as long as you don’t go out and kill someone, however much you would like to!

stormatsea

The trick here is to keep focusing on what is happening for you, express your truth to another if that’s what’s needed, but have no expectation on how it will be received. The most important thing is to speak it, if the person you are communicating with chooses to disregard possible insights that may be there for them, then that’s their business, and really, do you actually want to be in charge of sorting out someone else’s crap? I didn’t think so, well neither do I, so I’m doing my best to let go of the need to be right, and to be at peace with the clarity that is now crystal clear around me, as clear as the night sky in my haven in the bush.

There is a sense of freedom and liberation that is becoming more and more expanded in my being, the grief grows less and less, and I can open into the inner space that has suddenly become available. It’s happening very fast so I guess I was ready to go there, with all the shedding I’ve been doing the inner realms would have to be becoming more streamlined!

Moral of the story, never give up no matter how long and bloody the road, follow your intuition and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. And always be true to yourself, even when it scares the bejesus out of you!

Here is Split Enz singing ‘Six Months in a Leaky Boat’, even more apt then I remembered, when you strike out to explore new territory it can get pretty uncomfortable, but go for it anyway!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeKdUeb1InI