Tag Archives: community and connection

Life, Death And Weddings!

expensive-wedding-dressIn Western culture we have little left in the way of ritual in our lives and when we do engage in some kind of ceremony the deeper meaning is often lost in the race to spend money and look good. A wedding is not just a chance to have a great party although that is certainly an important aspect. It is also an opportunity for people to come together in community, to connect and in many cases re-connect after long periods of separation. My Beloved and I are particularly looking forward to the eclectic mix that will be the selection of folk coming to help us celebrate our sacred union.

We’ve already started the process of connecting with community by having an art and craft day yesterday where we made lots of paper flowers to decorate the hall in the spirit of the Mexican Day of the Dead. I never realised how easy it is to make beautiful flowers with just crepe paper, pipe cleaners and a pair of scissors. At the end of the day one of my friends made the flowers into big bunches and we hung them all up on the back of a cane bookcase. At this point I am really wishing that we had a camera to take a picture of this amazing riot of colour. So the end result of our efforts was truly captivating but even more wonderful the energy created by a bunch of people coming together to engage in creative play and conversation.

All of this lovely energy will be a part of our wedding day along with the actual physical flowers and will help to create a feeling of happy harmony. Sounds like the perfect atmosphere for an event that will be celebrating relationship as a spiritual practice. And of course in relationship as in life, there is always the shadow as well as the bright, cheery light that we all love. That will be represented by our co-celebrant who will be in black symbolising death and chaos, while the other celebrant will be in white representing life and order. It is so important to have ways of navigating the dark and difficult times in relationship yet this is something that is often ignored in modern society. So when the sweetness is swept away by black thunderstorms people end up projecting their stuff on to each other and the next thing you know they are in the divorce court.


The alternative is to hang in there and support each other through the difficult times even if you sometimes have no idea what is going on. Your darling is in the depths of depression and there is nothing you can say that will help, well maybe being silent is how you can be supportive. Or simply holding each other without words and letting your bodies do the talking, gaining reassurance from physical contact. If you can stay with the process you will find your relationship deepening as you become even closer. With every challenge and obstacle on our path my Beloved and I have become closer and closer and every day I love him a little bit more. Ain’t love grand!

Big Rainbow

An Earth Angel And His Van!

van-strandedIt’s been a crazy week of moving madness as my Beloved and I settle into our temporary lodgings with my mother. And as I reflect upon the shifting sands of our travels there is a moment that my mind keeps returning to. At a quarter to one last Wednesday we were surrounded by boxes and feeling good about our progress when my Beloved took a fateful call. The van that was supposed to be moving our stuff was sitting on the side of the road and was not going to be moving anything anytime soon! In that moment I felt my calm deepening in response to the sudden crisis. I had no idea what we were going to do but that we would come up with a good answer to this quandary was never in any doubt. Nice to know that when the chips are down I can be counted upon not to lose it completely!

bubble love

We took a moment to hold each other and let the feelings that were swirling around do their thing, then we hit the phones and the computer. It took a couple of hours but there was eventually a call from a man who might have thought I was quite mad if he wasn’t the charitable fellow that he is. I was quite euphoric and a little bit crazy and to me he was an angel surrounded in radiance, coming to save the day! And he not only brought his van and his strong  back, he also brought a positive uplifting attitude that was completely in alignment with my visions of his halo. Quite apart from getting the job done we enjoyed connecting with a lovely member of our community whom I now know a little better than I did before.


So seeming disaster turns into delight as we continue to navigate the constant sea of change, entering into a new chapter brimming with potential. There was a movie with Jeff Bridges thirty-two years ago called “Starman”in which the protagonist is asked what he has observed about humans in the time he has been running from the authorities. His answer has always stuck with me: “You are at your very best when things are worst.” So perhaps there is a design in the insanity that seems to be currently running the world, maybe things have to get really, really bad before people will recognise the need for change. And it does seem that we have reached that place by now, Spirit waits for our response and to see if we can find that deeper intelligence which manifests as compassion.


In the meantime my Beloved and I wait to hear from our new landlords and continue to make progress on our wedding and the other myriad things that are in process. And if I am tempted to go into overwhelm I simply recall that moment when my calm got so much deeper. As always relaxation and awareness make life so much easier to navigate!