Tag Archives: connect

Openess And Honesty: Be Yourself And Be Mindful.

Be Yourself, everyone else is taken! Oscar Wilde. Photo by Ulli Hansen.

Be Yourself, everyone else is taken! Oscar Wilde. Photo by Ulli Hansen.

A few posts ago I wrote about the theme of inner balance, my thoughts inspired by the Joining Gathering, it was about loving self and thus becoming more open to other kinds of love. (Inner Balance: A Meditation On Joining). Well once you have moved into a more mature way of relating, the place where you are yourself and so are they, you love it all and you see this amazing beauty in another soul. There’s a poem I hear sometimes in medicine circles that says something like, I love you in all your exquisite flaws, and that’s how it is when you connect on a deep level.


A key element in this kind of relationship is clear communication, and that isn’t just about words, we use feelings to communicate, and don’t forget body language too. If there is something going on inside you that doesn’t feel good, don’t be afraid to name it and own it, even though your head may know that it isn’t true, your feelings will keep telling you that things are not right. Sometimes simply voicing something can be enough to shift whatever energetic charge is being triggered, and that can be sound without words, for example toning.

My Beloved and I had been through an overnight ceremony and were taking it easy at home as we recovered from a wonderful but also quite intense experience. At some point in the late afternoon the mood shifted, we were both tired but my Beloved was deeply tired and he began to withdraw into himself. I could feel a difference in him but I was tired and we went through this time of me wanting to talk even though there wasn’t a lot of enthusiasm in the response. Basically we both had a lot of stuff going on and I as a woman wanted to talk and he as a man wanted to go into his cave and do whatever it is that men do in there!

Men are from mars

In the end I began to feel cut off from my lover and an energy in my heart was triggered and the specific feeling was disappointment, it felt horrible and I didn’t feel like I could sleep. My beloved was exhausted as well as withdrawn and when I told him what I could feel he really didn’t have the energy to deal with it. I eventually got out of bed and went and built up the fire, watching a fire burn is rather therapeutic, then curled up in front of the fire and fell asleep there.

The next morning my dear one came out with surprise wondering where on earth I was, we went back to bed and talked about what had been going on for each of us the previous evening. We took responsibility for our own stuff, I knew perfectly well the feelings in my body came from some other time before we’d even met. And he realised that he would probably have been better off just going off on his own, or even to bed much earlier. We do practice clear communication most of the time but we are also human and the last time I looked I wasn’t perfect!

An Old Angel.

A few weeks ago I did a reading for an older man who appeared very conservative, so I was a bit surprised when at the end of the reading he tuned in and gave me a reading too! It was the last thing I expected, but I guess spirit felt it important to send me a message, and the messengers often don’t come in the forms that we expect them to. I think this man was an Earth Angel, and he told me that I needed to do something about my neck, which is absolutely true, and he also said that I needed to connect more with the earth with my bare skin.


That really resonated with me, but I’ve been so busy it’s been almost impossible to find the time to do that, and in the busyness I tend to forget anyway. I remembered a couple of days ago when I was feeling a bit wiped out and needing to recharge my batteries to get through my overnight shift, and just 15 minutes lying on the earth made an enormous difference. Then I was telling a friend about this and she asked me if I’d ever put my back against a tree and connected with tree consciousness.

The answer to that question is a big YES, in shamanic trainings I did we often went out into the bush and found a tree to commune with. I remember tuning in to fern consciousness once and it was fascinating, ferns are a group consciousness like ants or bees and they have a much quicker energy than trees tend to. If you need to slow down then connect with a tree, there was a 150 year old Moreton Bay Fig tree in Sydney that I used to go and sit with when I lived there.  She was the guardian spirit of a very old church yard and I used to think of her as my grandmother, she gave me wonderful advice when I had difficult decisions to make and I really trusted her wisdom.

When we dishonour and disrespect nature we’re really doing it to ourselves, it is a reflection of the modern worlds inability to truly honour and love self. Not self as a separate individual all alone in the world, no…………the authentic presence that I AM is connected to all things. The cosmos, the trees, the animals and plants and rocks and minerals, there is no part of life which I am not a part of, nothing that is not me.

Everyone Is A Poem.

Connections, communication………community, all most important aspects of humanity’s evolution into the next stage, the future human. I am seeing that in myself here as I move more strongly into community, the hermit will always be an important part of me,  but there’s no reason why one can not have both in the right balance. I have a powerful need to spend time in my own space, but I also share the need that all people have to connect with others, especially those who are like-minded.



When I work on the crisis phones I talk to so many lonely people, so many of us never really have the opportunity to be heard, to have someone listen, and to see us as we truly are. I particularly loved the greeting of the alien race in Avatar, “I see you”, in that context the meaning is to see into the soul of the other being. How often do you actually meet the eyes of the person you are talking to, would it make you uncomfortable to gaze into those windows of the soul, not just with a lover, but to see the God or Goddess in every person you meet? Michael Frante says that “Every single soul is a poem, written on the back of God’s hand”, I feel such joy when I put that song on and dance to it, he is one of those poets and musicians who can take you into that ecstatic space very easily. Check the song out in this live performance in Sydney in 2010.


Of course I don’t always remember to bring that perspective to every encounter, if I’ve been triggered I may even have gone unconscious and be having trouble looking at the other person. That’s a rare event thank the Goddess, and the more that I can bring a sense of wonder and openness to every step of my path, the less likely I am to cause suffering to myself or anyone else. There’s been enough suffering on this planet, time for the  world to party and to share not only the joy, but the resources too!

As Saint Germaine always said, “Until further notice, celebrate everything!”

I Love You Mum.

The rains have come to our town and everyone is so grateful for the water pouring from the sky, not coming with storm and wind this time but plenty of it for the dry and dusty gardens and the water tanks. I look outside my window and all the different shades of green are glistening with the moisture, life is waking up, I can hear the birds celebrating!

I look around my room, here I am back at mum’s place, it’s comfortable but I am finding it a bit of a struggle finding my inspiration here. Not that creativity really need depend on where you are, if it truly matters to you then you can find it wherever you are, and I am determined to make this so!

Even as I write those words the answers begin coming to me, I need to connect with the earth, to go and walk on the land and feel the mother beneath my feet. And what better way to prepare for World Sound Healing Day! Here I am living in the beautiful country, and I rarely go out to places that are a hop jump and a skip away.

We inter-breath with the rain  forests, we drink from the oceans.  They  are part of our own body.  Thich Nhat Hanh

You didn’t come into this world.  You came out of it, like a wave from the ocean.  You  are not a stranger here.  Alan Watts

Perhaps I will tell you the story of being buried in the earth in my next post, it was an incredible experience that taught me so much. The wisdom of Gaia is great, and if we can find the time to pause and connect with her, she has an infinite source of knowledge and understanding to offer us.

Thank you Mother, for always being there for me, even when I have been unable to be there for myself, you have been present beneath my feet. Your beating heart has kept time with the thunder of blood rushing through my veins, the dance of neurons sparkling through my brain. Always have you been here, my beloved, my beloved, my beloved…………………


Beloved Friendships.

Time I think to return to the subject of my beloved, I have been considering the public nature of these posts, and started to wonder if I might scare off a potential candidate if he thinks I’m going to expose all here. I will be as honest as I can with my readers, but there are some things best kept private, and developing relationships definitely fall into this category. If I want to express anything in relation to that I will simply have to find suitable metaphors or examples.

So I thought it would be a good idea to express my feelings on the possibility of a beloved coming into my life, yes I am looking for a life partner, but I have no intention of jumping on the first potential mate that turns up. Oh the temptation will be there for sure, old patterns have many layers, and I know for a fact that I still have beliefs that say things like “Grab this relationship and hold on no matter what, it may never happen again!”

These days I am very aware of these old beliefs, and I know that the optimum path is a very different one. What I really need is to have relationships with the right kind of men, conscious, aware, and open to their emotions, to have intimacy that doesn’t have to lead to sex. I need to explore what a truly healthy relationship feels like, and in that process I might find my beloved, or I might find a beautiful new friend. Both of those outcomes are very desirable, almost all of my intimate friends are women, and it would be nice to have more beautiful male friends too.

I haven’t been very comfortable with my own masculine energy in this lifetime, by having more of that energy around me in the form of friends, I may learn to be ok with that aspect of myself. It’s certainly worth following up and as I write this I realise that it actually needs to become a more conscious process. In the 18 months of my mountain change, I have made some wonderful new friends, but the ones I connect with more intimately are all women.

Mmmmmmmmm……..food for thought and for action, oh for more hours in the day to do all the things I want to do!

yinyangmascfemGod Goddess

The Eye of the Beholder.

Something I have noticed about my world now for some time is the way it keeps changing, at times quite suddenly. It’s like being on shifting sands, hopefully without any boggy bits. I used to hit those patches and get bogged down for days or even weeks but these days it’s more like a few hours or at the most a day or two. It’s tempting in those moments to attach the feelings of doom and gloom to situations in the outside world. But if you do that you are giving substance to something that is simply moving through and quite frankly, as I say to my clients, it’s better out than in.

So the first step is to allow the feeling to be there, don’t try to push it back down or cover it up with something else, like for example an entire packet of tim tams! The stories I could tell about donuts and family size blocks of chocolate are far better forgotten and left in the murky distant past. I don’t do that anymore, well not much, and the addiction to sugar seems to have been finally overcome (she says with great hope!),

I have tools of transformation in my kit bag that can shift me into a healthier frequency very quickly and yet I notice that the resistance to change is still there. I know what to do but I find myself swimming sluggishly through a sea of reluctance until finally I begin to tone, or meditate, or wash the dishes, and the shift into a lighter way of being begins.

For me toning is the most effective tool I have and I will give a very brief description of what it is. Toning is a very ancient form of healing and it probably began somewhere around the time the first caveman stubbed his toe on a rock and said “Grrrrrrrrr..”. It is sounding rather than singing so there are no words and you will sometimes hear beautiful harmonics and overtones within the sound. I do it because it feels good and pretty much instantly shifts me into a better frame of mind and beingness. It’s also very powerful doing it in a group; I run a toning circle once a month in Maleny and it is a beautiful way to connect with yourself even as you merge with the group.

The more that I allow those uncomfortable feelings to move on out the more I feel that connection to everyone and everything. My world becomes brighter not because the externals have changed but because my perception of it has shifted and I am seeing with new eyes.