Anima Animus by Toni Carmine Salerno
Well here I am on the ‘other’ side and I came through in a gentle fashion, I must confess to being somewhat relieved. I can’t tell you what I let go of or even exactly what information came through, I think that we sometimes receive downloads from spirit that only come into our conscious awareness when we need that particular knowledge. So I went deep and came out feeling peaceful and calm and with an enormous sense of gratitude for my extraordinary life. To share sacred circle space with your Beloved is the most exquisite joy and something I’ve been yearning for, it was certainly on my wish list when I used to think about the kind of relationship I wanted in my life.
After the ceremony the terror did return but I was not so attached to it this time and so it was much easier to ride the edge and to allow the energy to be released. As I sit here writing I can feel a trembling in the cells of my body that is the shift which is flowing out of the letting go of tension and fear. I will do the psychotherapy session that I have planned and I will continue to be with my Beloved in those deep places where we open to the Divine together. And I will continue to listen to my inner voice in order to know how to support the physical side of this affair, if I am truly honest there is always a part of me that knows the right course of action. And more and more I do actually follow the guidance of this inner wisdom that we all have access to. And if I don’t sometimes I promise faithfully not to give myself a hard time for it, it only makes matters worse!
So the journey continues and as I let go of self-loathing and terror I open the path for positive energies to flow freely in my life, as my good friend Michael Laughing Wolf always says, “Love self, do next thing”.
The story continues, I am getting very strong physical symptoms that have emerged out of the energies that have been moving through me. They are dark and painful and that is the feeling as my bladder feels like to burst, I am sitting with the feelings and letting them move, also doing spontaneous healing visualisations. Of course I am supposed to be going to see a doctor but I am hoping to avoid that strategy, knocking this out with antibiotics won’t do anything to address the energetic source of the complaint.
The stuff I am letting go of is all about sexual energy, aspects of that force that have been warped and morphed into something that interferes with connection to source, to the bottomless sea of bliss. Somehow I am keeping that silver cord attached even as I feel the intensity and pressure in my bladder, it is a bit like being in two realities at once. I have a friend who has often described me as living on the edge and she is rather accurate I think, this is not fun at all but I am stubborn so am hanging in there and giving my body a chance to heal itself.
Makes focusing on a post a bit difficult but it is also quite useful to put my thoughts into writing, once again the act of putting words to paper helps me to move things along. When I’m done with this post I will have to do some serious focusing on getting the healing done, time to truly let go of that which has held my life-force energy back from its full expression. And on the other side of that story is a new chapter in my life which almost feels like starting all over again, but with a lot more wisdom and knowledge than the first time.
Bringing conscious awareness to everything can make the passage through life easier to navigate, just as a sailor is attuned to the moods of the sea, we can tune into our own and the planet’s flow. Bring it all into harmony and true alignment, this is what I must do………..I will let you know how I get along!