Tag Archives: conscious relationships

Let Love Corner You: Surrender The Pain, The Fear……….

Twins-in-love“Viewed spiritually, romance is, in its divine essence, a temple space. It is one of God’s laboratories, a mode of spiritual transformation. It is when held this way, a sacred opportunity for souls to jump past the confines of the narrow self, to take quantum leaps forward into new and uncharted emotional possibilities. There love corners us, putting a mirror up to our faces and demanding that we surrender: surrender the hurt, surrender the past, surrender the walls, surrender the blame, surrender the defenses, surrender the limits, surrender the fear……. Love is not a game for sissies.”

Marianne Williamson in the foreword to “Dear Lover: a woman’s guide to men, sex and love’s deepest bliss”, by David Deida, published by Sounds True, Boulder CO, 2005.

david deidaFinally I am reading a David Deida book, I have participated in processes facilitated by others but informed by his work and read countless quotes, but this is the first time I have sat down with one of his books. It belongs in my current house sit so I have two and a half weeks to read it, shouldn’t be so hard and I can share any discoveries with my Beloved. When I watched David Deida on a dvd running a session down in Byron Bay I was not always so thrilled with the way he delivered his message but there was loads of good information coming through. So this is going to be a pleasure!

When I have written about relationship as a spiritual process and been looking for appropriate quotes I’ve often checked out David Deida, not sure if the words are exactly correct but the mantra I loved and heard from my dance teacher was: “Fuck me open to God.” The other statement of his that always stuck with me was “If your relationship isn’t opening you to the divine then what are you doing there?” My few relationships before a ten-year break were each what I needed at the time but none could really be considered in that light, perhaps for the odd moment of ecstasy but I wasn’t any more ready for it than the men I was with.

univeral love twohands

Now I am so it will be interesting to see what Deida has to say about it all in more depth, and it’s my favourite subject matter so will be easier to find time for!

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A New Screenplay For A New Life!

redwomanmovingI have been reflecting a little on the process that I have gone through in the last ten years of being not only single, but celibate. Ok so there were a couple of poor decisions in that decade and a blissful interlude with a dear friend and cuddle buddy, but essentially I was on my own and very focused on healing myself. I made a vow not to move into relationship until I had healed the patterns that led to dysfunctional behaviours, to shift my frequency and to attract something very different this time, and to hang in there no matter how long it took.

Who would have thought it would take so long! There have been so many layers to shed, it’s like the old proverbial can of worms, once it has been opened it all has to come out. And I have made a vow on more than one occasion, to heal everything in this lifetime, these vows are powerful statements of intention and if you put enough of your belief behind them they can be quite unstoppable. Hence the expression “Be careful what you ask for, the Gods may give it to you”, I have had moments when I doubted that I would ever make it to my desired outcome, in fact a big part of the process was letting go of needing an outcome.

Boy_Girl_Love

The journey to a happy relationship is through the doorway of love of self, you need to feel worthy of happiness and joy, have the courage to speak your feelings with clarity, know that you are love itself having an earthly experience. I’ve been doing some powerful work creating a new reality for myself and these reflections remind me that spirit will do the details better than I ever could, I just need to focus on the ‘essence’ of what it is I desire to have more of in my life.

And the truly interesting thing that is happening for me at the moment? Now that I am in a space of feeling secure with my Beloved the need to fantasize about the future is quite gone, being in the present moment is more than sufficient. Fay Fairytale is using her imaginative talents to direct the movie of my life when I spend time doing my morning meditations, feels like energy is flowing well and all I have to do is follow the flow as best I can………….singing and dancing along the way!

Summer Solstice Heat: Rebirth Into Love.

fall_harvestAs I began to seek inspiration for my Solstice Toning Circle I noticed a feeling of familiarity that was arising within me at the themes and symbols associated with this event. The sun firing up our passions, desires and sensuality, awakening of consciousness, the colours red, yellow and orange, and the celebration of a bountiful harvest!

rawfood

It began with a session I had of Zen Shiatsu and the guidance I received which matched my intuition completely, I’d been attracted to foods I don’t normally eat so much, like potato and bread, gorgeous organic pies with tomato sauce. Comfort food, and food that has a warming effect on the body according to Chinese Medicine, I also hadn’t felt much like salad which is highly unusual for me and that of course is cold for the body.

Seems I was depleted in my spleen and I certainly had no energy that day, I was so low I could have cried, I thanked myself heartily for having the sense to book this session for myself three weeks previously. I’ve followed the guidance and it feels a bit disconcerting to be eating so differently, fears around getting fat come up a bit but it all seems to be staying balanced so far and I have my energy back.

sourceofpassion

Of course being in love also helps the energy levels, you can go with little sleep for a few days buoyed up on the excitement and thrill of being in that space. Which is the other parallel for me in the Solstice themes, after a long period of abstinence I am full of passion and desire as I explore the awakening of consciousness that can come through approaching relationship as a spiritual practice.

I am overflowing with the heat of summer, that matches the heat of my body, my spirit and my soul, my blood burns like hot lava bursting from the rich moist earth, volcanic eruptions and gentle stirrings of trust reborn.

A Rebirth into love……………..ohm shanti, shanti, shanti………….

And just for a bit of summer silliness here is Madness singing “It Must Be Love” from 1981: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmezIIrFQmY

Bodytalk.

And so the detox continues, my lips are still very dry and I’ve had a hint of a rash that is familiar to me, it turns up when I am processing very deep stuff, and often has an important message to convey. It’s only there in a very subtle form, no-one else would know but I feel quite itchy at times just under my bottom lip.

It would have been towards the end of 2003 when I was involved in intense shamanic training in bodywork and breathwork, that I experienced this rash in  a very intense form. I went to a talk by Nityama, a tantric master, just hugging him is enough to trigger an orgasmic state, I got a lot out of his talk on conscious relationships and it got me thinking about the relationship that I had supposedly ended just recently.

It was someone I had a deep bond with and love for, but it was definitely not a conscious relationship, I had ended it because I knew it was doomed but he was still coming to my bed, it can be hard to let go as I’m sure you all know! At the end of that talk I knew I had to finish it completely but a week later I still hadn’t done anything about it.

Then a day or two after a bodywork session this rash started to develop on my face, it was intensely itchy and I had little pustules that wept at night so I had to have a towel on my pillow. I still went to work, life modelling and working in a bookshop, I was determined to work out what the rash was telling me so I refused to suppress it with medication. This went on for four days and then I was talking with my dear buddy Ulli on the phone about it, and we were discussing the significance of where it was occurring on my body, she said, “What is you’re not facing?”

The penny dropped and as soon as I hung up on her I rang my ex and asked him to come visit, he wasn’t surprised when I said we had to finish completely, there was a sense of relief on both our parts. I went to bed that night and when I woke up the rash was well on the way to healing, I had got the message and taken appropriate action.

The message isn’t always as clear as on that occasion, but the body is always talking to us, and it has a deep wisdom we would be wise to tap into. In order to access this space it is necessary to do clearing on the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels of our being. I’ve been engaged in this process since the beginning of 2000 but the good news is that for some of you it will be much quicker, I have had a lot of damage to clear which is often the case for those of us engaged in the healing arts.

Either way it is so worth doing, life just gets better and better, there is more joy, pleasure and fun to be had, in fact it’s infinite!! So go ahead and follow your bliss, that’s my plan!

From FaceBook.com/Quantumfractal

From FaceBook.com/Quantumfractal