Tag Archives: courage

Endings And Beginnings.

My time in this house sit is drawing to a close, this has been the happiest and the darkest of times, here in this fairy cottage surrounded by trees and full of magic. This Princess feels very sad to be leaving, but she knows that she will be taking some of that special magic with her now wherever she goes, what I’ve learned while in this place will never leave me.

Not my fairy cottage exactly but you get the idea!

Not my fairy cottage exactly but you get the idea!

It was here that I took back my power and restored my voice to its proper place, speaking my truth took an enormous amount of courage but has given me a stronger sense of who I am, and what I deserve. I recognised the true character of the Knight, who was definitely wearing armour, but let me tell you it certainly wasn’t shining! It’s a King that I seek as I move forward into the next phase of my becoming, one suitable to sit at the side of a Queen as beautiful and powerful as this Princess is becoming.

camelotkingarthur

Within these wooden walls and peaked roof, I discovered the aspect of me that loves to create food with love, as an act of devotion. Ram Das talks about his guru a lot, and when he asked Neem Karoli Baba how to get enlightened, he was told to serve and to feed people. Offering yourself in service is a very pure form of love, even if you are doing some kind of exchange there is a completely different feeling compared to when you are doing things for money. I went to a Rainbow Festival once where everything was done on the basis of exchange of energy, and it was a wonderful feeling of open heartedness and true connection with other human brothers and sisters.

camelot

More reflections to come as I ponder the experiences I have received here in my little Camelot, like Morgana in that mythical tale I have had travails and challenges upon my path. In my version of that classic story she is not evil and means no harm to Arthur, she is simply trying to keep the pagan magic alive against the onslaught of the Christian religion. My task is to participate in the creation of a new age of magic and wonder, and while it may draw upon the old ways, it is also new forged, and much of it has not been here upon the earth before.

We live in exciting times, I welcome the Golden Age with all my heart and soul, bring it on!

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Monsters Under The Bed.

I spoke of how the energy of this house I’m living in at the moment, has been good for relationship, and that it didn’t happen exactly as I might have imagined. Of course I’m only half way through my time here, so I’m sure that there are more exciting events on the way, quite apart from the four dinner, movie nights I have scheduled! Not to mention the dinner for six that is happening tomorrow night. The entertaining has gone well and has gone pretty much to plan, it’s more the romantic side of things that was different, and that’s something I can lay fairly and squarely at the feet of Fay Fairytale.

This is not to lay blame elsewhere or avoid responsiblity, Fay is a part of me and if I can’t keep her in check nobody can! And as I said in my last post, she conspired with the object of my admiration to trigger lots of stuff that I am much better off without, I can trip lightly through the world now, dance in the sunlight! It also brought me to a place of power in giving me the chance to speak up for myself, and that is something that happened here in this place. So easy to create sacred space here for whatever occasion I might be planning, the energy is already flowing beautifully, all I need to do is make adjustments according to what is going to happen.

And so I took my courage in both hands and I spoke, and it wasn’t perfect, I didn’t get the response I would have liked and in retrospect I wish I had been more challenging. But what truly matters is that I did it, I’ve been in the process of moving on ever since and part of that is to be ok with the fact that I could have done better. Last time I looked I wasn’t perfect, oh well, I think I can live with that one! Every time I meet a challenge that terrifies me I become stronger and more whole, the monsters under the bed are starting to look pretty tame.

Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak.

Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak.

My Wild Woman is sick of slaying monsters, all she wants to do now is kick up her heels and have fun!