Tag Archives: dying

Life And Death.

There’s been a bit of a theme in my life these past few weeks, and it’s one of the biggies, death, which is the other side of life, and something we don’t really talk about in this culture. Other cultures have whole books devoted to the subject of how to pass from life into death, I’m talking about ‘The Tibetan Book of the Dead’. I’ve never read it but it talks about all the different stages that happen as you go through the dying process, here we tend to deny even the possibility of death until the last-minute, and then get dragged kicking and screaming into something that terrifies us.

The_grim_reaper

Because I felt responsible for my father’s suicide, I’ve created this strange connection between sexuality and death, although I guess it’s not that strange, after all sexual energy is the life force and death is it’s opposite. Sort of like yin and yang, masculine and feminine, the sun and the moon, they complement each other to create a balance, without which life as we know it would not be possible. My sexual flowering seemed to result in my father’s death, not rational, but that’s what has been held inside me for all of these years, and an awful lot of my shedding this past month has been around that issue.

And as often happens it is reflected in a myriad of other ways, I had to bury a chook this morning, not far from the guinea pig’s grave. It was sad, but I didn’t feel responsible for the passing of either of these animals, I know I did my best for them and there is no guilt there for me at all. I take it as a sign that I am making real progress in the process of release, it may not all be cleared, but an awful lot has gone, no wonder it was so painful.

It’s as if the sun has come out after a time of stormy darkness, and the weather has actually reflected this with the stunning day of blue skies and sunshine that I’ve enjoyed today. I found this great film of one of the songs from the musical ‘Hair’, it’s kind of a flash mob version of ‘Let The Sunshine In’, hope you enjoy it as much as I did! Love and radiance to you all………sunny blissings.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klObyJY1W_I

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Open And Surrender.

Thirteen years ago I was very excited at the prospect of going to Latvia, a very small country in Eastern Europe which is where my father and his family fled from during World War Two. My aunt Lena was taking me and I had my passport all ready with the visas and all of that, at the time I was feeling a great longing to connect with that part of my heritage, to feel the energy of the land.

River scene in Riga Latvia.

River scene in Riga Latvia.

latviamap

My aunt who was in her early seventies went for a medical not long before we were supposed to be going, the doctor didn’t like the sound of her lungs and so he sent her for an x-ray. That’s when we found out that she had cancer all through her lungs and all of a sudden my magical trip to discover my roots was cancelled.

So instead of going to Latvia I went to Melbourne to look after my aunt, I had to help her shower and look after her so she could stay at home as long as possible but she was deteriorating very rapidly. I was there when she woke up unable to breathe properly, and went with her in the ambulance to the hospital. From that point she was in a hospice and on morphine, I stayed with friends and went to visit her every day.

I was at a friend’s place one day waiting for her to come home from work, when I was drawn to a large chunk of rose quartz on the mantlepiece. I put my hand on it and I could feel energy flowing from the crystal into me, I had no idea what I was doing, I was simply following the flow of intuition. The next day as I held my aunt’s hand at her bedside, I could feel that gentle energy flowing from me into her, it was helping to ease her passing, a beautiful gift from the crystal realm.

Everything that I had been told about crystals meant nothing to me until I had my own experience, from that moment on I began to move into a different relationship to the crystal kingdom. And the yearning to connect with my father’s land had subsided also, somehow that connection had been made during the time I spent with my aunt as she went through the dying process.

So often we have fixed ideas about how to experience life, but the flow of existence is much more fluid than the rigid structures that society tries to impose on everything, in a desperate attempt to be in control. Open and surrender, be present with what you are feeling in this very moment, and allow yourself to flow into the next moment, and the next…………and the next…………