Tag Archives: ecstasy

From Purification To Ecstasy: Let The Dance Begin!

inner-fireIt’s probably time I completed my burning bladder story, the fire did get put out and I appear to be back in good health after doses of good herbs and powders. Being back in business is wonderful and has helped to spawn, along with David Deida, a couple of posts about the healing qualities of the state of being in love.

That is of course an ongoing tale for me and as I think upon this I realise that Fay Fairytale has not appeared as a separate being for some time. She is more a part of me now and supporting me in creating my vision of the future, the Dream Seed that holds the new chapter which is dawning in brilliant colours.

dream seed dandelion

I guess the various aspects of ourselves, Fay Fairytale, Judge Judy, or Nellie Nobody, just to name a few possibilities, are all a part of who we are. It may be built on early conditioning so there is input from others but the raw material is the stuff that we are made of and when we take responsibility for all those different bits we can let go a little. And a little more, and a bit more……..and then there isn’t any ‘reaction’ to create the attachments that used to shape our creation.

ahalightbulb

This is when you can begin to work in the pure space of invention, bringing through the frequencies that are a part of your gift to existence, the blueprint of your current incarnation and the contract you made. It’s a beautiful thing to know why you are here, not all vision can be converted to words but the feeling in your body will tell you if you are following the path of the heart. And drawings can be a wonderful space to channel through whatever is brewing inside of you, you can do it with specific intention or you can intend to surrender and let the pictures come through you, the intuitive side.

Let the dance begin!

Pleasuring Into Ecstasy: Slow It Down Sweetheart!

PinkOshoFlowerPoemYou know there are some blogs out there that really keep it simple and focus on one big project, like cooking your way through a famous french recipe book over a whole year. And then there’s someone like me, exploring every aspect of consciousness she can send her awareness into, moving fluidly and sometimes for no apparent reason from one project to another, and then back again!

Well I’m back to where I had got to in “Tantric Orgasm For Women” and really enjoying being able to read and find that sometimes an open body and heart is as good as any book. But it is an excellent text-book and very inspiring too, relaxation is the key and I can attest to the value of letting go of tension and generally slowing everything down. So you do need to be able to trust your Beloved, even then you may be holding tensions you are not aware of, so a safe space to be together in is crucial, and that is emotional and spiritual space, not just the physical.

soulmates

The more that you let go, the more you can allow the body to guide the experiential navigation of two energies coming together, you become more sensitive to subtle energy, sensuality is heightened, which can only be a good thing! And anything that you do comes out of a place of non-attachment.

“Action is an overflowing of energy; action is in this moment, a response, unprepared, unrehearsed. The whole existence meets you, confronts you and a response simply comes. The birds are singing and suddenly you start singing-it is not activity. Suddenly it happens. Suddenly you find it is happening, that you have started humming-this is action.”

Osho, Transcribed Teachings, Tantra: The Supreme Understanding: in Diana Richardson: Tantric Orgasm for Women, p 139.

pink-flower-fields

The Underworld.

Fluttering, delicate wings churning my belly into a tightness that coils into itself, as excitement and anticipation coupled with fear, turn into an anxious dread. Knowing that its opposite is simply a thought away, I breathe into that turbulent swirl that turns and turns, creating a vortex of energy that can take me into even greater fear………..or ecstasy. Air, the stuff of life, pours into my waiting lungs, and directed into the pit of doom it carries me deeper and deeper, as I surrender to the downward spiral, making friends with the darkness, letting go into night.

underworld

The relief as I fall into the space of the underworld, that hell on earth that we make for ourselves when the monsters of the depths go unrecognised and unacknowledged, luminescent light becomes possible, as we find eyes that will gaze upon the face, that will take us into a fuller knowledge of the soul beneath the mask. I take my courage in both hands, and I descend like all the mythic characters that have gone before me, to meet the ruler of the shadow, the opposite of light.

three-headed-dog

Meeting each challenge with an open heart, my mind a sword that cleaves through old patterns, my feelings showing the way into balance, I battle the three-headed dog and gain entrance to the center of all that hides from sight. A figure stands before me but I cannot see its face, my shaking hands tear the veil and my eyes are open wide with fright, terror coursing through my veins I look upon the greatest monster of all, ’tis myself.

In that moment consciousness opens into laughter and the absurd nature of life becomes a juice to sweeten the sadness and the grief, the struggle and the pain. If I made all of this then I can unmake it if I choose, no longer a pawn in the world I can wake up if I want to………..or not. The old nightmare is over and I face my demons with a song on my lips and feet that move in a spiral dance that feeds the flow of energy, connected to all things.

enlightenment-and-the-self

I AM the light, I AM the dark, I AM everything and I AM nothing……..I AM THAT I AM and that is all.

Beauty Walks Before Me.

Beauty walks before me, lies within my heart and soul, warms the blood running through veins that pulse with joy and delight, as I gaze upon the paradise that lies all around me. Ripe fruit hanging from the trees leaps into my eagerly awaiting hands, succulent juices running down my chin as I bite into soft flesh, sweet aroma filling my nostrils until I am wont to swoon with ecstasy. The sound of music wafts into my ears as my body begins to sway to the sound, filling my cells with the joy of rapturous frequencies, feeding the force of life as it spirals from the earth up to the sky.

watergoddess

Arms and legs move as the muscles yearn to stretch into shapes of ecstasy, dancing to the pulse that burns within the fiery centre of my heart, opening my soul to the depths of all that is. Desire running through every atom that I am, as I merge into all things, softest silk caressing my skin as I spin myself into eternity and beyond, calling upon Aphrodite to gift me with her sensuality, with her love. Her divinity is mine, is everything upon which I cast my eye and all that I may sense through sparkling tendrils spanning galaxies, my mythic life glowing with potential.

Aphrodite.

Aphrodite.

Beauty is in every step that I take, it wells up as I gaze upon my own features, lovingly tracing the lines and shapes of my own glory, loving myself with such tenderness, gentle caring that softly guides me to the space that will serve me best. This inner radiance warms my soul and then radiates out to the world, going wherever it is needed the most, letting go of judgement as the energy of love washes all clean. Sound vibrates my being and carries my strong intention, frequencies shimmer and I melt……………….into even more of WHO I BE………ohm shanti, shanti, shanti……………..peace.

The Navajo Beauty Way Ceremony

In beauty may I walk
All day long may I walk
Through the returning seasons may I walk
Beautifully I will possess again
Beautifully birds
Beautifully joyful birds
On the trail marked with pollen may I walk
With grasshoppers about my feet may I walk
With dew about my feet may I walk
With beauty may I walk
With beauty before me may I walk
With beauty behind me may I walk
With beauty above me may I walk
With beauty all around me may I walk
In old age, wandering on a trail of beauty, lively, may I walk
In old age, wandering on a trail of beauty, living again, may I walk
It is finished in beauty
It is finished in beauty

Anonymous (Navajo)

http://www.native-american-market.com/navajo_beauty_way.html

The Movie Inside.

A few posts ago I told the story of how I shifted some deep feelings that had been triggered in my yoga class (Goodbye Sweetheart: 21 Aug 2013), it was on this occasion a fairly quick process. This has not always been the case for me and even now I come up against resistance to letting go of my stuff, it isn’t the brick wall that it used to be but it can still be a challenge to move through. With the sorrow that I described that was in my heart, I did notice that there was a part of me that wanted to hold on to that feeling.

Akhundova Samra: A photographer who captures spiritual experiences with her art. http://samraakhundova.wix.com/samra-art-design

Akhundova Samra: A photographer who captures spiritual experiences with her art. http://samraakhundova.wix.com/samra-art-design

When dealing with unexpressed emotions from the past it is sometimes necessary to wallow a bit in that sea of grief or whatever it is that is coming up for you. Give the feeling its full expression and then let it go, that’s the theory but in practice it isn’t always quite so easy. I’ve known people who work on themselves constantly who become addicted to the process of bringing the feelings up but can never seem to actually release them. It’s as if these feelings and the story that they are attached to is so much a part of who they are, on some level they fear that by letting go they will lose their identity.

So the actual letting go part, how do you do it? As a kinesthetic person I feel it in my body, bring my awareness to wherever it is in my body, usually in the belly or the heart. Then I might breathe or tone into that part of my body, or I might use a visualisation as I did with the sorrow, seeing it as a mist and putting it into a sparkling bottle. Your imagination is an important tool in any kind of inner work, a key ingredient for creating change, Einstein said:

“Your imagination is a preview of life’s coming attractions.”

Albert Einstein.

Albert Einstein.

You do need to be committed (not to an asylum!) and to be prepared to give yourself focused time to drop into the parts of you that lie beneath the surface. I found it easier to create the time for that kind of thing after giving up television which I pretty much stopped watching twelve years ago. Try shifting your perception of what it is to spend time dropping within, don’t see it as work, it can be lots of fun even as it challenges and confronts. And the clarity and energy and joy that emerges the more that you heal that which is incomplete, the ecstasy of feeling whole and connected to all things, it’s better than any tv show I ever saw.

Tapping Into Bliss.

The butterflys are fluttering in my belly again, and yet I am pretty content in this moment, sitting here with my laptop, with a view of trees out the window and the cat snuggled up against my foot having a wash. I wonder sometimes if there will ever be a time when I don’t get stuff coming up, it’s hard to imagine what that would be like, probably not what being here on earth is all about anyway. I ran into a friend in the street yesterday and we agreed that while it was uncomfortable at times, that we are here to be in school, and this is one of the most common lesson formats.

I met someone who was very clear about ten years ago, Grant Mcfetridge of the Peak States Institute, and he said that he still got triggered sometimes, but he would then clear it in a few minutes. Grant’s work is very interesting, he theorises that specific traumas in our developmental process block particular peak states of consciousness. He says that these states are our birthright and I tend to agree with him. He also recommends other therapies such as EFT, or emotional freedom technique, where you are focusing on what you want to shift as you tap certain points along the meridians. Grant’s web site is: http://www.peakstates.com/

peakstatesofconsciousness

I just paused to do some tapping on the feelings in my belly and while they are not completely gone, they are greatly diminished. If I keep tapping it will probably go completely but I’m not sure if I have time, oh what the hell, I will pause again and keep going! ……………. So I did and now it feels like a little ball of ecstasy, this is such a simple technique and so effective! To check out more about tapping here is Gary Craig’s web site, the founder of this therapy: http://www.emofree.com/  Lots of other people offer tapping as well, I would recommend going towards whoever your intuition guides you to.

Moving On Out.

I did meditate after writing my last post, and it had the usual effect of bringing me into a more peaceful state of consciousness, it smoothed me into sleep and the acceptance of how things are. In yoga this morning we had a long savasana (corpse pose), and there were a few flies, and so our teacher put a blanket over my face between two blocks to keep them at bay. I immediately wanted to throw the blanket off, felt fear and intense claustrophobia, so I breathed long and deep and stepped back from those feelings. It helped the energy to move, but I kept losing focus and I didn’t get a full release, so I will have to try to find the time to process it later this afternoon.

So how should I do that? There are a number of options, I could meditate and allow my body to do whatever it feels necessary, usually it will make jerking movements with the pelvis and shake in order to release. I may have a sense of what I’m letting go of, in savasana I was getting a connection to a past life as a priestess, where I was part of a ritual that involved me taking a drug to simulate death, kind of like Juliet in Romeo and Juliet. Or I may simply feel energy moving without any story, as long as it goes I don’t really mind.

priestessindeathtransparent-bodies-moving1

I could also put on some music and dance it out, in fact I have three Gabrielle Roth dvds, each is a thirty minute dance meditation journey, that’s what I’m leaning towards, but it does depend on the availability of space as I no longer have a house to myself. When I tune into my body it’s begging me to move, I can feel the desire in the cells, they clamour for healing movement so they can let go of the old, stale energy and make room for fresh new inspiration. I will honour my body and simply work with whatever space is available, movement doesn’t always have to be on a grand scale to do the job.

“If you put the body in motion, you will change. You are meant to move: from flowing to staccato, through chaos into lyric and back into the stillness from which all movement comes………..The spirit in motion heals, expands, circles in and out of the body, moving us through the layers of consciousness from inertia to ecstasy. Open to the spirit, and you will be transformed.”

Maps to Ecstasy, Gabrielle Roth, Nataraj Publ., Novato, CA, 1989.

May All Beings Be Happy And Free.

Ok, I’m going to go out on a limb now and say that I really, truly think that I’m through the worst of this latest upheaval, phew……….what a ride it’s been! Doesn’t mean that there won’t be challenges ahead, I just want a break from emotional pain, go back to my theme of kicking my heels up and having fun. I’m setting a clear intention to stop being the human yo-yo, expanding, contracting, expanding, contracting………from the heights of ecstasy to the pits of despair.

As I write these words I can feel my heart stirring softly, like the petals of a flower preparing to open to the sun’s bright rays of gleaming light, I am a lotus flower ready to bloom in all its fullness. That full heart is spilling over and all my cells gradually begin to be infused with its gentle radiance, suspended as if I were levitating, this dense physicality lightening with a sense of soul, of spirit and love. Breathing in and out through my heart, I fall into the rhythm of the beat that is life, that is blood rushing from organ to organ, bringing nourishment to the magnificent co-operative that is the human body.

Lotus Flower.

Lotus Flower.

We are such miracles each and every one of us, connected to the greater mysteries that underly the tangible reality that we can see and touch. Each of us is an antenna with our feet on the earth, and our intuition reaching out into the cosmos, capable of tuning into whatever we may choose, be it a beetle on the rainforest floor, or a comet on its fiery path. Once again it comes back to choice, what do you want to have more of in your life, what makes your heart sing with joy and delight? I have a few things that do that for me, but what I am doing in this very moment, writing about life and death and everything in between, that’s what really takes me into pure happiness.

Your heart will show you the way, be soft and kind with yourself, learn to be loving to you, know that you deserve to be happy and to be free. There’s a Sanskrit chant that embodies this message, lokah samasta, it means, “May all beings be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words and actions of my own life contribute in some way to this happiness, and to this freedom for all.” Here is a beautiful version of this from Deva Premal and Miten:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usJl7oiZPnc

Emerging Through The Darkness.

The darkness doth swallow me and no matter where I look, no matter where my footsteps take me, despair and misery follow at my heels, hopelessness dogging every step. How can I go on and yet what other choice is there? The voices of traumas past cluster inside my soul until I am wont to scream, but my voice is caught inside the prison of my self-made armour. To reach for succour is but to polish that armour and make it strong, no comfort can take me to the bright dawn that is waiting upon the other side of forever. The only way forward is to sit with these feelings that drag me down into an icy pool of horror and loss, abandonment and madness.

despair

And that’s what I did, I sat with those feelings, much of that time is hazy in my memory’s eye, but there are moments that do stand out in the fog. A time when I was on the edge of the abyss and wrote the mythical story of my life as a tool to clamber back over the lip of the cliff on to solid ground. I began with my birth and wrote up to the moment that I was in, then I continued the story to a triumphant conclusion, as you will find in any good mythic tale. By the time I came to the end of the story I had gone from the depths of despair, to ecstasy and joy.

My time in the desert cracked me open in ways that I didn’t really understand at the time, I knew that things had shifted on a profound level of my being but much of what was occurring was below my conscious knowing. The spiritual emergence that followed was harrowing at times, but I don’t regret a moment of it. I don’t believe that everyone has to go through something like that, but for me it was necessary, and the gifts that have come from that time are a rich bounty that continue to support and nurture me in my growth.

consciouslove2

I am grateful that my evolution comes now more through bliss and joy, and that the moments of darker challenge are like bubbles floating up to dissolve in the sunshine, merging into all that is, the unity consciousness that is beneath all things.

consciouslove

Nellie Needy Flies The Coop.

“Life is sacred. Life is art. Life is sacred art. The art of sacred living means being a holy actor, acting from the soul rather than the ego. The soul is out of space and time and hence always available, an ever-present potential of our being.”

Maps to Ecstasy (Gabrielle Roth), Nataraj Publ 1989, p 147.

Letting go of the last parts of the loss and abandonment that I felt in my last contraction, I read these words at the perfect moment. Those feelings come from my ego self, the part of me that identifies itself with the current paradigm, that needs confirmation from the world around her to feel worthy and whole.  Gabrielle Roth identifies aspects of this smaller self with names that vividly convey a sense of the personality, the ones that I particularly identified with were, Judy Judge, Fay Fairytale, and Nellie Needy. I had a moment last week when I was feeling dread in the pit of my stomach about the dentist, when that neediness came up and wanted to translate into reaching out for comfort. I managed not to go there thank the Goddess!

To always come from the sacred part of myself, the soul, this is a vision worth pursuing, but it can be harder than it sounds, especially as the ego desperately trys to cling to its comfort zone. I mentioned before that I have been feeling an attraction to someone for the first time in a long time, that’s something that the ego keeps wanting to obsess over, while my larger self knows there is plenty of love around, no need to spend so much energy on just one possibility. When I am in the full flight of passion, when I am doing what I love and going into ecstatic spaces, I fly away from the ego and into that inspired place that is the birthright of all of us.

May I always come from my heart and soul, be inspired, loving, passionate and kind, may this be the energy that infuses everything I do no matter how ordinary, may I live my ordinary life in an extraordinary way! Love and blissings to you all, shanti, shanti, shanti………..peace, peace, peace………….

ecstaticdance