Tag Archives: ecstatic

Traces of The Past, Letting Go Ecstatically.

It’s a bleak day and my Beloved is away, but my life is so full of happiness these days, I can hardly feel blue. But I can feel ‘stuff’ moving through and the cold, wet and windy day, seems like rather a large reflection of this. I let go of a few bits of baggage, an echo of loss, traces of abandonment, these wounds run deep but surely the layers will run out one day. They certainly become less and less over time as you shed, and what you attract into your life shifts with it.

But you will require patience on a path of this kind, the road to my current ecstatic space has been pretty rocky at times. Sometimes you have to take risks as you follow your heart. And finding self-love is such an important foundation to live an inspired and ecstatic life, living with purpose! Somehow most of the crazy shit I’ve done in this existence is coming together and will help me to step even more fully upon my spiritual path. Look for a common thread that runs through your life, for me it has been an eternal fascination with consciousness, altered states of all kinds.

ayahuasca image 2

Don’t settle for anything less than all that you can be, we are living in times of great transition, end times, and there is the opportunity to write new stories for a new age. And so I go into my cave as the wind blows outside my door, and I cosy up to a hot water bottle, eating chocolate and reading books about magic. A time of rest as the Mother washes us clean and nourishes the plants making everything green again. At the moment it can’t be seen much through the mist, hoping it will clear next weekend for the Maleny Music Weekend.

maleny music weekend 14

Looking forward to seeing my Beloved this evening, couldn’t wait for four days so we meet sort of half way to sleep in each others arms before he arms himself and goes back to the big smoke. Not my knight in shining armour but my King, someone I can rely on to be strong and steady even as he shows his tenderest heart.

Thank you my Love…………blissings to you all!

This Crazy Delicious Place Of Delight!

Dressing up as an elf can also be great therapy! Yes that's me, photo by Steve Swayne.

Dressing up as an elf can also be great therapy! Yes that’s me, photo by Steve Swayne.

Hello dear Readers, what is life holding for you in this very moment? Is there a thought or a dream that’s been wandering around in your inner being that wants to be expressed in some way? That’s a bit like the writing process for me, this blog is as much about my own therapy as it is about you gorgeous people out there.

There is a lot going on in my life at the moment, not the least of which is my going from being on my own to being with my soul mate. That journey brings its own challenges, it also brings incredible joy and the deepest connection, it isn’t the only way to get there but it certainly is fun! I have been noticing in myself an urge to immerse myself completely in my relationship, the desire to be in that ecstatic loving space all the time. There is a potential danger in this oh so natural process, at least it has been for me, it is so easy to lose myself in the ocean of love.

ocean of love

And this is relationship which is a spiritual practice that I am engaging in now so how much more the temptation to drown in that crazy, delicious place of delight. The funny thing is that the same thing ultimately saves me from tipping over the edge, it’s much harder to lose me these days, I keep finding deeper and deeper layers of who I really am. When you reach a certain point there is no going back, and why would you want to?

And I do let go of who I think I am  as I shift into that state of oneness and surrender, but I’m not really losing myself these days, its more like letting go of control. Or maybe you could compare it to the ability of a shaman to move in and out of altered states of consciousness, after all I used to be a shamanic apprentice! Whatever you call it, its nice to have the opportunity to navigate the paths to ecstasy, even when it is shadow, as I release layers of old stuff I become more available to the ecstatic.

Faeries Dancing

Until further notice, celebrate everything! Saint Germain through Azena Ramanda.

The Cathedral Of Sound.

Rising from sickness she marshalls her energy and prepares for the ceremony of healing, dressing with great care and attention to detail, her heart begins to soften and open. The scene is set and filled with the laughter of children and unseen sprites, dancing with joy through the sacred space, the sense of community, of belonging, fills her with the energy of love. Friendly faces abound and call out to our heroine, reminding her that she is never ever alone, the Goddess is within her, and in this place is seen and acknowledged.

The bad spirits are fleeing as she drinks the fiery brew that brings her to new levels of sensitivity, that opens up even more of the Goddess within, the hearth fire that lies at the centre of all of us. The energy of the masculine dances around her feeling the strength and delight of her fair form, desiring to connect with her deep femininity. Her softness responds and she enjoys the dance, but then ’tis time for the dance of the soul to begin, the alchemical transformation that will banish the sickness as if it had never been.

Me dancing with orbs! Photo by Antara May.

Me dancing with orbs!
Photo by Antara May.

Whirling and swirling, her body moves in a continuous flow as she becomes a channel for the energy of the sound, angel orbs play in the frequencies as she sends the light up through her crown. Ecstatic spaces within and without as the movement transmutes and transforms, the magicians holding the space in this cathedral finding ever more transcendent levels of prayer. The Goddess fills our heroine with her energy until the two are indistinguishable, the mystery is complete and somewhere in the levels of existence a candle is lit.

The Earth smiles…………..and so do I, for she is me and I am her, the heroine is my story, and I choose to be the Goddess in myself, in all things. Praise the Goddess for she is healed!

Here is a youtube clip of the magicians of sound who created the space for us to move in ecstasy through, Hayden Hack Infusion:


Everyone Is A Poem.

Connections, communication………community, all most important aspects of humanity’s evolution into the next stage, the future human. I am seeing that in myself here as I move more strongly into community, the hermit will always be an important part of me,  but there’s no reason why one can not have both in the right balance. I have a powerful need to spend time in my own space, but I also share the need that all people have to connect with others, especially those who are like-minded.



When I work on the crisis phones I talk to so many lonely people, so many of us never really have the opportunity to be heard, to have someone listen, and to see us as we truly are. I particularly loved the greeting of the alien race in Avatar, “I see you”, in that context the meaning is to see into the soul of the other being. How often do you actually meet the eyes of the person you are talking to, would it make you uncomfortable to gaze into those windows of the soul, not just with a lover, but to see the God or Goddess in every person you meet? Michael Frante says that “Every single soul is a poem, written on the back of God’s hand”, I feel such joy when I put that song on and dance to it, he is one of those poets and musicians who can take you into that ecstatic space very easily. Check the song out in this live performance in Sydney in 2010.


Of course I don’t always remember to bring that perspective to every encounter, if I’ve been triggered I may even have gone unconscious and be having trouble looking at the other person. That’s a rare event thank the Goddess, and the more that I can bring a sense of wonder and openness to every step of my path, the less likely I am to cause suffering to myself or anyone else. There’s been enough suffering on this planet, time for the  world to party and to share not only the joy, but the resources too!

As Saint Germaine always said, “Until further notice, celebrate everything!”

I ThankYou!

I feel enormous gratitude to those of you who have chosen to follow these whimsical words, I’ve done very little to broadcast this fancy of mine to the wider world, and yet you have found me, and followed! And there are those on Facebook who feed back to me appreciation, and the fact that my own journey contains reflections that they can feel in their own souls. Without your presence to witness, the journey would not be what it has been, and the joy and the inspiration that I feel as I write, far outweighs the pressure to keep up the daily posts, of this post modern new age fairy witch. Or perhaps I really am a princess, in my current abode I do feel as though I’m living in a mythic tale, where the knight in shining armour comes to chop wood and run the generator.


On the first of May I spoke of Saint Germaine and the Violet Flame, since that day there has indeed been a new energy present, and while very intense it has also been most beneficial. I feel as though it’s speeded things up, the expansions and contractions can almost be from moment to moment at times, and while this can be perceived as overwhelming, if you surrender to the flow you find yourself through and out the other side in no time at all. A bit like Alice falling down the rabbit hole!

I am certainly becoming clearer about my vision of my life, there has to be a way to make this joy of being a wordsmith into something that supports me to live a comfortable life. I could see myself in a place like this fairy cottage, tapping away on my laptop in the midst of nature, going out to run my sound circles or to see a client, coming home to a warm cosy haven surrounded by stillness. Having the time to practice my yoga, meditation, to be in a relationship which is a practice of love and surrender, to merge with life and to be in ecstatic union and joy with all things!

And so it shall be!

Humour Me Into Ecstasy!

Bursting with life, those energy levels are right back up even as I sink into my misty moon time, feeling the life force surging even as I fall into soft layers of myself. Like the softest velvety petals of a rose, I receive me with all the love and tenderness that my heart can hold, and my heart is boundless, so there is no end to it. The field of love expands and expands, and connects with other fields until we are all joined in that loving tapestry which is the consciously created life, which is living in the ecstatic state that all flesh is heir to.

There is no lack in this place, all needs are met and communication flows so that we may understand each other, at the deepest levels of the soul. Allowing all to be in the place they have chosen to be, even if that choice is to exist in the small cage like shell of the ego. There is no wrong and there is no right, only that which is as it is, the truth is in each moment like the gleam of sunshine on the waves, shifting as we shift, moving in and out as the tides do, bringing us into alignment with who we be.

“O, wonder!
How many goodly creatures are there here!
How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world,
That has such people in’t!”
―    William Shakespeare,    The Tempest

Let’s create this brave new world so that Miranda’s words may become true perception of what we humans can become, the next stage of evolution for these:

” ape-descended life forms” that “are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.”
―    Douglas Adams,    The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

And above all always remember to see the humour in everything, some of the wisest people on the planet are our comedians, the Dalai Lama always seems to be smiling at something, laughter is the best medicine, don’t take yourself too seriously. Do laughter yoga and smile as often as possible, fill your being with dancing motes of hilarity and you will walk lightly upon this planet and through your life.

Shanti, shanti, shanti, peace, peace, peace……………………..

I’ve put this clip up before but it fits so perfectly and some of you may not have seen it, Bill Hicks with “It’s just a ride”:


MInd Be Still.

In the most ecstatic experiences of my life I have felt expanded and light and my mind has been quiet, this seems to be common for most people, and if one looks at this in a scientific way it can be said that we are in the right hemisphere of our brains when this occurs. This is certainly the space that I inhabit when I dance, it’s how I’ve tried to live, but even though I’ve resisted the intellectual approach, to my detriment at times, the mind, or the left brain, has still played a dominating role in my life.

It’s the mind that told me I was separate from everything else, and that I was not good enough or sufficiently deserving to have prosperity. The idea of being in your ego when you have low self-esteem seems laughable, but as I continued my journey of understanding myself, I came to the realisation that I was as much in my ego as an arrogant person is. When you move into unity consciousness everything is one, so it isn’t possible for one person to be better or worse than another.

I remember the first time I really got this knowing, I was doing a workshop in 2004 called ‘Dying to Live’ in which we explored the notion of what it would be like if we knew we were going to die at a certain time. We went into this in a very full and shamanic way, it was not an intellectual discussion, it was a lived experience, and it gave me a  very different perspective on my life. Who did I think I was, not to be expressing my gifts into the world, who was I to stop the flow of spirit through my being.

It’s taken me a while to fully take this idea on board, there was still a helluva lot of crap in the way of my light shining out, but in the end I have to say I’ve done ok, particularly if you go by what Krishna Das has to say on the subject.

If you want to know if you’re making progress on the so-called spiritual path, see if you’re kinder to people; see if you’re a little easier on yourself; see if you obsess about your own self and all this stuff in your life a little bit less; see if you’re happier in the day in a simple way, more content; and see if you’re treating people more like you would like to be treated. That means it’s working.

A wise man with a great sense of humour and extremely humble, he is also a master when it comes to chanting the sacred sounds of God, Goddess, All That Is. Check him out in this clip:


Krishna Das.

Krishna Das.

The Inner Wave.

My last post was inspired by watching “The Inner Wave”, a short film that takes you through a meditative dance journey with the incredible Gabrielle Roth. I didn’t think I liked 5 rhythms but I take back anything negative I may have said about it, I am sure it depends very much on who is facilitating and Gabrielle Roth was a master. I wish that I’d had an opportunity to take a class with her but instead I went online and ordered all three of her dance journeys so I can have the next best thing.

What inspires me the most about her work is how it creates a sacred space in which your movement becomes the prayer, the journey is into the uncharted territories of the self, the soul, deep, deep within. If I have stuck energy in my body I can dance it out, in the dance solutions to problems may come to you, in the dance you are revealed and if there is a witness it becomes even more powerful.

I feel a sadness that in my last years in Sydney I didn’t get to my ecstatic dance classes much because of injury to both of my shoulders. At the time I thought I was taking care of myself, but since then I have come to understand that I was limiting myself unnecessarily, and that I was very much in my ego, my small self. I had been accustomed to impressing on the dance floor, even though I did dance for the love of moving my body there was also a part of me that liked to show off. I could have gone to class and worked within the limitations of my injuries, who knows what riches I would have found on that journey, now I will never know.

So now I must find a way to take that journey, there are no ecstatic dance classes here but I can play the dvds and dance in my own space. Perhaps I can find a place that has room for a few enthusiasts and we can dance together, creating the ocean of love that was always such a beautiful aspect of the classes I did get to in Sydney.

“The object of meditation,” teaches Gabrielle Roth, “is to still the mind – and the fastest way to do that is to move your body……………..The more deeply we enter our bodies and breath,” Gabrielle says, “the more deeply we know ourselves”.

Check out this excerpt from “The Inner Wave”.