Tag Archives: ego

Prayers Of Fire As Bodies Merge!

Posted on May 25, 2014 | Leave a comment

flameoflovePassion ignites desire and eyes spark, as lips meet in prayers of fire, as a seemingly molten liquid speeds through bodies lit up from within  by the sweet merging of love and opening. A thousand petals gently spreading their tenderest parts to the gaze of the Beloved, feeling the threads of light that connect us to all things, the quantum galaxy of swirling particles. The soul exposed in all its depth and stirring, stirring the stuff that lies within that is finally ready to let go, to let go, to let go………….

Supernova

The body is finished with this flow, no longer in a super sensitive frame but taking great gulps of sensation as the pleasure takes me on a journey free of thought. Even as the body takes its due harvest I can feel that the ‘stuff’ that is moving is the last of this installment, this layer of the onion, only the mental body catching the last fragments as it goes by. Making worry over nothing in a vain attempt to hang on is the ego’s way of trying to stay safe, let yourself know that letting go into pleasure is the surest way to stay safe in a world that is constantly shifting and changing.

sacredmarriage

My safe harbour is always there even when there is choppy water and a storm brewing, so I can brave the dark waters knowing that I will never drown, never be lost. And as I release and release the weight of my soul I can dance lightly into the bright future that is revealed as the night’s curtain parts to reveal the birth of a brand new day!

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Letting Go Of Who You Think You Are.

Posted on May 11, 2014 | 2 comments

spiritual loveDiving into the space of eternity I fall into the softest state of being, letting go of the things that are supposed to be who I am in the world. Following the path of the heart, letting go of who I think I am, this has been a major part of my journey into relationship as a spiritual practice.

Not that you have to be in a romantic relationship in order to let go of the ego’s assumptions, I’ve been following this particular path for what feels like a very long time. Just reflect for a moment, how much of your sense of identity comes from what other people have told you over the years? Parents, teachers and institutions, images in a culture that screams out youth, money and status! Even those who appear to embody all of these desirable traits, will often secretly feel unworthy. I can think of at least one drop dead gorgeous young woman I know who constantly surprises me when she seems unable to see her own beauty.

It’s such a relief to let go of all of that weight of expectation, to drop into the stillness of expectancy, quivering on the edge of the unknown. But to get to that place you need to be prepared for being uncomfortable at times, breaking old patterns requires focus, determination, and a certain amount of bloody mindedness.

heart leaves

It can also be fun and I am very excited to be bringing my awareness to ways in which I can support people in doing this for themselves. My Beloved and I have been accepted to run a workshop at the next “Joining Gathering” in September, it’s called “The Path of the Heart: Letting go of who you think you are”. (http://www.thejoining.com.au/) So far we make a good team, in the bedroom, the kitchen, in tasks around the house and on the dance floor, this is our opportunity to take that energy out into the wider community.

The adventure continues and my own path of the heart shines out like the glorious sun on a crisp autumn morning.

“Until further notice celebrate everything!” (St Germain through Azena Ramanda)

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The Path Of The Heart.

Posted on November 13, 2013 | 2 comments

Trusting……….that I am always connected to the source of all things, my heart blazing a path that wends its way through all kinds of landscapes. At times the way may be littered with rocks and pot holes, challenging me to be like water and to flow over and through without losing the essence that I am. Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death……..I shall not falter, indeed I will embrace each ending as it doth present it’s face to me. And in the letting go of unnecessary things my life force will find new channels, the power of love and creativity making a fire that will burn forever.

Image by George Grie: www.neosurrealismart.com

Image by George Grie: http://www.neosurrealismart.com

Beginning always in stillness……….the vast empty space of creation beckons me unto the void, where there is nothing………. and yet all of the potential for manifestation lies in this emptiness. No need to do anything, being unfolds without direction and while I may open to desire, while I may know what I think I want, always shall I surrender to the higher wisdom that knows truth in a way that my ego can never imagine.

Bringing together my desire and the urging of spirit, my inspiration bursts forth and the bars of my prison are melting into joy…….glittering threads of destiny weaving a tapestry that sings a new song, as a fresh day dawns. The need to know is a fetter that shall chain me no more, I trust life, I trust myself, I am whole…………  I will ever be a part of the spirit of God, Goddess, of all that is…….love is an ocean in which I shall swim for evermore, in and out-of-body, ’tis the spirit that goes on eternal, the flame that has no end, and no beginning……….

flameoflove

My gratitude overflows……….and I am at peace.

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The World Is Ending.

Posted on October 17, 2013 | 2 comments

I am feeling an enormous sense of completion, things are coming to an end, some things may come back but nothing will ever be the same again, this is a good thing. They do say that change is the only constant, but we generally have big internal structures that will determine how we respond to change, or react. Sometimes we resist change and even that is not automatically a bad thing, it might be divine redirection taking you on a different path, or perhaps introducing a note of caution.

But there are times when those big constructs of values, beliefs and ideas, need to be challenged and that which is no longer useful, can be let go of. In the Tarot the card of The Tower symbolises this aspect of development, likely you will visit this space more than once in a lifetime if you are growing and evolving through your life. For me there has been a lot of movement in the area of ego, more in the egotistical view of myself as lesser, which is just as silly as having an over-inflated opinion of oneself. Resting in a true appreciation of whatever your gifts are, expressing your life force in whatever is the right way for you in the moment that you are in, sounds much more appealing doesn’t it.

The World.

The World.

So the question to explore then is what kind of ending do we have here, it feels very balanced so it might be the card of The World where the ending is very complete, not much unfinished business if any. That’s something I will sit with, if there is anything unresolved I need to attend to it so there is nothing barring the way for a new beginning to unfold!

Bring it on my compassionate cohorts, Michael, Germain, Aphrodite and Mary, and all the Heavenly Hordes!!

This is a kind of end of the world song from the late 80’s from “World Party”, it’s called “Ship of Fools”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHh0V7UjVXI

And here is the song that tells you what to do about it, “Private Revolution”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaYcJQej5Uw

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The Writer, That’s Me!

Posted on September 18, 2013 | Leave a comment

Stepping out of the box, that’s the invitation, I don’t seem to have the time to read “The Art of non-conformity” so maybe I just have to do what my intuition is telling me to. To put myself out there with self-confidence, authenticity, passion, and be ready to receive the potential that flows back to me even if it comes in forms that are unexpected. I made an important shift a couple of days ago, I noticed that when I thought about my writing there was passion and excitement there, but there was also the idea that it took a lot of time and didn’t support me financially. That’s hardly thinking of successful outcomes, there certainly isn’t faith in my vision when I am in the energetic field created by that thought.

radiating brain

So I’ve started describing the time I spend on my writing as work, “I have to go home and work tonight” I said to the girl at the cash register and she looked intensely curious as she asked me what I was working at. I told her I was a writer and it felt good to say it and be witnessed, and I did go home and work on how I was going to get myself out there, as well as write an inspired blog post. Just telling you about it here feels like yet another stage of being witnessed, I can feel my ego getting frightened as I strip away even more of what you are ‘supposed’ to do, and do my best to surrender to what I ‘know’.

watergoddess

Even when knowing, and lived experience don’t seem to be saying the same thing, breathe and surrender, let the larger self be the guide on a journey of opening hearts and letting go………. There are times when we need to allow ourselves to be led by intuition in its purest form, without question, to be in that place truly is why it’s so important to let go of everything that obscures that clear view.

And Animal totems along the way can be our allies on the journey, but that’s another post, until I speak to you again, love and blissings……………

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My Red Toenails.

Posted on September 3, 2013 | 1 comment

You know I think this might be the longest period I have ever experienced with so little stuff coming up to be cleared, I feel an enormous sense of gratitude that all the turmoil of the first six months of this year has paid such a wonderful dividend. Yet when I focus on the emptiness and the clarity I find there is also a faint sense of fear or uncertainty, I’m pretty sure this is the ego, after the wholesale clearing that I’ve been through it is wondering how to define itself. I am even daring to think that some issues might actually be completely cleared, when you’ve been shovelling manure out-of-the-way for as long as I have surely there has to be an end to it at some point!

redtoenails

When I gaze down at my red-painted toe nails I feel a particularly great sense of achievement, there was a time when they were red with blood after I had compulsively ripped them to pieces. Not a pretty image is it, it was something I had no control over for many years but gradually over time it became less and less. Then as we were coming to the end of summer in february this year I realised that I had gone a whole summer without touching my toes at all. I decided to celebrate by having my first ever pedicure, I had the whole shebang, foot soak, scrub and massage and at the end I had these beautiful purple toes.

It might seem a bit trivial but for me it was a huge shift, I don’t know exactly what was associated with that particular habit but it is definitely gone. When I think of what that impulse used to feel like I can feel the tension and desperation that was in there, now there is peace, security and love. All right I will be honest, as I write this I can feel a bit of a stirring in my belly, perhaps focusing on this bit of my past is bringing up any residue that may remain. So perhaps I will play it safe and say, “I’ve cleared that layer of stuff!”

ohmshanti

So be it, so be it, so be it………….shanti, shanti, shanti………peace, peace, peace…..

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Fragments Of Self.

Posted on July 14, 2013 | Leave a comment

                     The shaman begins to drum and dance calling the power of the universe to her as she puts her egoic self aside and becomes an empty vessel that fills with the help of the spirits.
            The client lies quietly in the center breathing deeply to be in a receptive state to receive back his lost soul; his lost vitality.
            The shaman sings her journey out loud as she tracks down where the soul has fled. And on finding it returns and blows it deeply into the heart of the client filling the entire body with the light of life.
            There is a great joy for all as one heals all are healed. The community is now whole again and can be in peace and harmony.

Sandra Ingerman: Soul Retrieval: http://www.sandraingerman.com/soulretrieval.html

soulretrievalingermanshamanwhite

One of the ways that we deal with trauma in our lives is to leave our bodies, so as not to feel the full impact of the crisis, it’s a survival mechanism that actually works quite well if there’s an understanding of what’s going on. Parts of our soul may leave altogether in that moment, but this is a concept that is not understood or accepted in our current western culture. So instead of doing the healing straight away we end up losing more and more of who we are, the world gradually becomes a duller place and most of the time we don’t even realise that it’s happening.

After years of healing trauma after trauma I began to experience a much sharper appreciation of the world around me, colours, sights, sounds and smells are more vivid than they used to be. It’s like I am returning to the perception of being a child, but bringing to that the knowledge and understanding that I have developed as I’ve moved along my healing path. Whenever one individual becomes more whole, the entire community benefits and this is something that is well understood in indigenous cultures that view the world from a shamanic perspective.

shamaniccolourful

We are all interconnected on so many levels, without a recognition of this basic fact of existence, the current civilisation is likely to become a part of this latest process of extinction that is occurring on the planet at this time. We do need to change and I tend to be the eternal optimist on this subject, if I can create huge fundamental change in myself and my life, then so can everyone else!

Bring it on!

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To The Depths!

Posted on July 11, 2013 | 1 comment

A sense of lassitude, bed is a good idea but oh how much nicer to flow with the energy and enjoy the feeling of being nurtured and  of self-worth that is moving through the cells of my body. The intelligence and heart of Leonard Cohen singing incisive and profound words, so very like real life told with such sensitivity and warmth. I am somewhat disenchanted with ego at the moment, it can be charming and fun but do you really want that kind of energy around too often, aren’t we supposed to surround ourselves with the kinds of people who reflect back to us our unlimited self. A control freak who cannot let go, struggles with spontaneity, is only amusing up to a point, however “conscious” the language or terminology you are always going to be swimming in shallow waters.

deep-sea-jellyfish-

I want to sink to the depths with all the wonders there to behold, to dance in and out of unity awareness, tantric sensibility, sensitivity to the whole picture, falling into old patterns to activate and to release……….letting go in love. Dreaming up the vision of connection to a beloved as a part of spiritual practice, where your relationship brings you closer to the Divine, why be there otherwise. Having that energy upon land that resonates with my being, that speaks to me in a tongue that nourishes and supports me as only the Mother can do, oh Durga, may I receive that which will bring me closer to you.

Love

Continuing to keep a shimmering barrier around me at all times, it allows in only that which is of a high vibration and which will serve the highest good of me and of all life everywhere, that which is of a low vibration and which will not serve me may not enter. At night I add a mirrored surface to the outside of the bubble, anything that will not serve me is reflected back to whence it came. I’ve never had to be this disciplined before but it feels necessary to do so at this time, I am hearing a lot about people feeling the need for protection from various types of unseen forces, or of those who are overshadowed by entities or dark energies. I think things are hotting up, if you are a sensitive it could get particularly interesting, and if you think of it as an adventure it has the potential to be a lot of fun!

Deep_Sea_Serpentradiantgoddess

Here is a beautiful video clip of one of my favourite Leonard Cohen songs, Dance me to the end of love:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGorjBVag0I&list=PL3145B4789B3C8243&index=5

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Deep And Sacred Space.

Posted on July 9, 2013 | Leave a comment

Letting go………can be the hardest thing to do, your higher self knows perfectly well that it doesn’t need such small-minded, limited energies around. The small ego self feels rejected and says but, but………I NEED that attention, I do, I do. Oh child be still and breathe, feel the feelings and let them go, unclasp that tight grasp that keeps you anchored to the past, to that which no longer serves you.

let go

Breathe and release the need, breathe and release the fear………..breathe and feel the light pouring into every cell as you make more space for love, for that which will serve the highest purpose……..for all life everywhere. It sounds beautiful and it is, make yourself a sacred space and be still inside it for just a moment. No matter how deep the hurt you will feel joy eventually if you can stay with the discomfort, the dis-ease.

Want to know how to make that deep space for yourself to dive into? Easy peasy, it can be as simple or as complicated as you want it to be. You might light a candle and burn some incense or essential oils, sage or sandalwood are great for space clearing. You can tone or sing or speak an invocation, calling upon whatever has meaning for you as a higher power. Ultimately it comes down to the power of your imagination, your intention, be clear about that and all else will follow.

Here are a couple of videos with ideas about creating sacred space, don’t take any of it as something you have to do, if it resonates take it on, and keep looking, there are loads of great ideas out there!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laPrxIEE1dk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bmxdHIf79E

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Demolishing The Fairytale.

Posted on June 10, 2013 | Leave a comment

Feeling the emptiness of inner space, as the dust from the demolition crews begins to clear, my castles in the air are gone, and while there is a certain relief in that, there is also a hollow feeling. The castles were so pretty, but they had no substance at all, Fay Fairytale and I kept adding wings and suites, and decorating the halls with beautiful tapestries, but all to no avail. So now it’s time to be with the emptiness when that’s what is present, and to follow the passion of my heart at other times, filling up with inspiration and delight as I get excited about my life!

I feel a bit like two different people when I contemplate that vast empty inner space, one is happy to dive in and be without thought, the other feels a sense of loss and is frightened of letting go into the void. How can I bring these two into harmony, how can I reassure the ego self that what seems like death is actually a much bigger life, a place where it isn’t actually possible to lose anything. By surrendering to the flow of spirit, taking myself to the edge, with trance journeying that busts wide open that egoic construct that so many of us spend our lives contained within. There are lots of ways to do this, but ceremony in sacred space with meditation, music and movement, can take you into deep contemplation that helps you to gain perspective on your little dramas.

Smudging with sage.

Smudging with sage.

Or whichever doorway works for you, there are so many, you only have to start really looking and you will realise that the sacred is in everything we do. Keep reminding yourself of where you are in this moment, at the end of the day that moment is all you have, so don’t put too much energy into worrying about the past or the future. Be present and plan for miracles, life is so very good and things to laugh about abound all around us, particularly with the perspective I now have on recent events!

Laugh, drink and be merry!

live-love-laugh-eat-drink

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