Tag Archives: energies

Dancing From The Dark Into The Light.

Reading through my last post I can feel those energies still moving through me, probably they will get the chance to truly depart in the dance tonight. A bit different for me as my journey will be swinging between the personal and the holding of space, creating a container that we can all fall into as deep as we need to go. I am looking forward to it but I must confess to being a bit nervous too, those old energies are full of doubts and fears and are no doubt fueling the nerves, but actually a touch of nervous energy can help to keep you sharp so not necessarily a bad thing.

eye gazing heart

I’d be more than just a little bit nervous if I was doing this on my own, having the chance to collaborate creatively with my Beloved and to share the load makes the whole experience much more fun. This is the first time we have worked together on a project so it is actually one of those landmark events in a personal history, something we will always remember. The way it has come together bodes well for our relationship, neither of us is ‘boss’ and we both feel able to express what we are feeling. As we were putting our playlist together it felt to me as if we both cared more about the final shape of our dance, rather than whether or not we got our favourite songs into the mix.

This was my Beloved’s suggestion, I’d forgotten about this song from Lamb, soooooo good to dance to!!!!! Gorecki, by Lamb:

Just for the record we both got favourite songs into the sonic landscape and by the time we had finished we were both satisfied that we had created a structure to take people down into the darkness to the point of stillness in the centre. Then from that silence we begin to open into the light, beginning slowly and building, the music becoming more and more joyous. I feel like I have been preparing for the Winter Solstice all week with the way energies have been moving through my organic being, preparing for this dance has been a wonderful part of all that.

sacred sensual fire

Then the actual Solstice the next day and a simple fire ceremony followed by eating, drinking, talking with beautiful people and dancing the night away. A different kind of evening but the same ocean of love, life is very sweet, wish me luck friends………….Namaste and Blissings.

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Reframing The Moment: Creating Your Own Mythology.

brain imagesPerception is everything, two people can have exactly the same experience and come away with a completely different story, without either of them being right or wrong. Most of the time this isn’t a particularly conscious process but if you bring in your observer so that you can actually see how your thoughts are creating your experience then you can see how changing your mindset can change what you are perceiving. The world around you remains the same and yet completely different, this is how you can change the past as well as creating the future that you desire.

It can also be a wonderful tool for relieving stress, I have used it on numerous occasions when I am feeling worried or apprehensive about something. A couple of days ago when the horses got out of the gate and we were having to come up with ways of getting in and out without it happening again I was feeling really, really stressed. I knew on some level that it would be alright but it was hard to stop the thoughts going round and round in my head as I lay resting in the early evening before heading off to my overnight shift. So I decided to see the whole situation as an adventure or mythic tale with me as the heroine, my Beloved at my side as we met the challenge of outwitting the horses. It didn’t take away all my worry but made a perceptible difference to how I was feeling.

wizard_of_oz

When I was going through my dark night of the soul some years ago I was really freaking out and feeling overwhelmed by the energies that were moving in me. I navigated through those times in lots of different ways, but there was one time when I was being assailed by negative thoughts and so I sat down and wrote my story as a mythic tale starting from when I was born. I kept writing and continued the story from the moment I was in into the future, the tale became more and more positive and by the time I finished I was feeling wonderful.

Remember there is nothing that you cannot change with this approach, however bad things look you can shift the view with just a small tweak in consciousness. You can move from fear to love, anger to bliss, from ignorance to joyful embrace of the great mystery that is this earthly existence.

inspiration pink energy

So go forth and change the world into what you would like to see and experience, the more of us who do this the closer we all come to a new way of being, the path of the heart.

Ohm shanti, shanti, shanti…………………..

Flying Into The Mystery, As I Fall Apart!

falling apartI was getting ready to go and visit a friend in hospital yesterday and as I put my bag on my shoulder I felt a sudden and sharp pain in my right neck and shoulder. A few gentle stretches and I was on my way but I could feel the soreness in my body and this gradually got worse as the day went on, felt like I was falling apart! I began to notice other aches in my body and realised that my second yoga class for the year (yes I did finally make it!) had really had quite an impact.

There is the obvious fact that if you are not stretching so often the muscles are going to end up a bit sore when you actually do get to it, but as always I tend to contemplate a bigger picture when I consider physical manifestations such as aches and pains. Love making is a place where a lot of my therapy happens these days, it can be enormously helpful in moving energies that are active in the body and so assist in clearing out old patterns. So there was quite a lot coming up for me and at one point I could ‘see’ this black shape in my neck, it was a rough black shape a bit like an infinity symbol.

Masculine Feminine SpiritForce

It seemed to dissolve with the movement of energy so I think it was released but it will probably be something I will check on when I am on my medicine journey tonight. My intention will revolve around physical healing as that is what is coming up strongly for me at the moment, the bladder is still behaving itself at present but I when I tune in I can feel that it is still not in an optimum state of health. My experience on journeys is that my intention is always addressed but often I get a much bigger and broader picture so it will be interesting to see what comes up.

spiritual mystery

I feel very ‘open’ which is a great space to be in when going into the mystery, the trick is to state your intention and then to let it go and surrender to the process. What a fortunate life I do lead where I have the opportunity to go on grand adventures into my inner realms, with beautiful facilitators who hold a deep and respectful space that I can dive into, carried on the wings of trust.

Fly, fly high, let the earth touch the sky………………an inspirational song from the fabulous Deva Premal and Miten, enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKYgA2JaufY

 

 

 

The Classroom.

I anchor into the world by doing ordinary tasks, cooking, cleaning, looking after animals, I organise the wood and I wash the dishes. Of course this is all happening to the sound of the bell birds, and wherever I look I can see green leaves and sunshine, inside all the different grains of wood keep me connected to the natural world. I’ve been on a wild ride, and it’s time to come back to the mother, the earth, grounding into the energies that sustain and nourish us all, this way I might actually be able to make some sense of the lessons I have learned.

Bell birds.

Bell birds.

gumtreesQLD

And the curriculum in the classroom has been what? Well, there are many subjects here but the most important one is probably trust, not so much trust of another, but of self. I ignored advice from dear friends, I let Fay Fairytale override my intuition, I chose in a pretty conscious way to be in denial of what I knew to be true. So you could say that I didn’t trust my deeper knowing, on the other hand perhaps there was an even deeper knowing that wanted me to have the experience in order to activate the enormous amount of material that I’ve shifted in that period. We are talking about from the Summer Solstice last year, up to the present moment, I am a very different person to who I was then.

My intuition has grown enormously in this same period, there is more space for it and I trust it more, it told me things about this house that I am living in and it has all come true, although not necessarily as I might have imagined it. I had a feeling there might be a death with the animals, but I put it aside not wanting to borrow trouble, well one of the guinea pigs decided it was time to shuffle off this mortal coil, and I now realise that it was a premonition. I also felt it would be a good house for relationship and communication, I’ve done more entertaining here in two and a half weeks than I’ve done in many years!

Community and connection, is even sweeter over the sharing of a meal made with love………………………………

Pain.

In my last post I referred to stuff moving, well it’s practically tumbling out of me and I am feeling such intense pain, and for once I don’t know what to do with it. I won’t bore you with the details but I found myself in a space where I couldn’t stop crying, and I knew in that moment that I needed to seek help. It’s wonderful to be self-reliant and to have lots of amazing tools at your disposal, but  it’s also a sign of great wisdom to know when you need some outside support. Sometimes what’s going on in your inner journey is just too much for you to handle without someone to hold space for you, as you drop into wherever it is you need to go.

I am very accustomed to being able to deal with whatever is moving inside me, to be in a space where I really don’t know what to do is scary, I guess it’s how it is for many of the people I talk to on the crisis phone lines. I’m going to reach out for that help but I don’t know if it will be available at such short notice, this is really living in the moment and perhaps that’s why people get addicted to the things that cause them pain, it brings them into the present moment, pain really gives you focus.

The positive side of all this is that I have been in painful places before, and I know that I can not only make it through the dark tunnel, but thrive on the energies that are released as I let go of yet more of that which no longer serves me. And the reward is more ecstasy and joy, more free-flowing expression of creative energy, more happiness and connection with my community of beautiful souls.

One day your heart

will take you to your lover.

One day your soul

will carry you to the Beloved.

Don’t get lost in your pain,

know that one day

your pain will become your cure.

Rumi (From Rumi: Hidden Music, Thorsons 2001, p136)

rumi

Only Women Bleed.

I talked a post or two ago about different cycles of life, the moon cycle being a particularly important one for women. There was a time when I thought my period was a bit of a pain, as a feminist I refused to apologise for the fact that I bled, no hiding my tampon on my way to the loo in a restaurant! But I had no idea of the true power I could be connecting with at that time.

It was somewhere around the middle of the naughties that I began to understand that I was missing something really important, that my moon time could be much more than an inconvenience. As I began to shift my thinking I noticed a change in my bleeding, what had become a lighter flow became richer and a bit heavier. I honoured that time of the month as best I could, it isn’t always easy to follow the natural inclination to go within in this busy world, but you do what you can.

The more that I tune into my body and its processes the more I am able to allow energies to flow through me, and as a woman I feel deep gratitude for the opportunity each month to let go with the flow of my menstrual blood. I have been fortunate that it has rarely been a painful experience, I remember a time in 2007 when I had a couple of very painful periods, and when I tuned into my body I understood that I was releasing some particularly difficult stuff. I was studying counselling at the time and had a lot of challenging material coming up in relation to grief and loss and my father’s suicide.

As I become more sensitive to my beingness, I tend to notice an increase in sensitivity leading up to my moon flow. I’m not talking about over sensitivity, it is more like a heightening of the senses, I get very horny and I most definitely don’t have a problem with that aspect! As I write this, I am feeling that heightening of the senses combined with the fullness that has come with my shift into a healthy sense of self, and it is wondrous to behold, wondrous to be!

Thank you moon, thank you mother, looking forward to connecting with the earth tomorrow after a couple of hours spent gazing inwards in my fabulous yoga class. I love life and life loves me, blissings, blissings and love to all………………

This YouTube clip from Alice Cooper back in the seventies really epitomises the old paradigms for men and women, and yet I have always loved this song, there is a real tenderness and empathy for women, and the way that the feminine has been suppressed in this man’s world. It does no favours for any of us, no matter our sex, have a listen to “Only Women Bleed”.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DleEdiiI1jw