Falling into the swirling pool of sacred union as we lay upon finely spun rainbows and travel into dimensions of delight and joy. Shedding energies dark and deep I feel a space unfold within, a sacred vessel to receive and to channel the energies of divine union. One body, one being, we are pure sensation as the tantric journey opens our hearts ever deeper and the healing goes deep and deeper. And so it is time for that healing to go to the forbidden places that mindfulness has been afraid to go, the anger never allowed to form, the grief underneath, the sense that the world is full of sorrow. New life springs forth even as energies release into the Mother of transformation, the alchemical smelting pot that turns despair into hope. Candles and coloured lanterns and balls, a happy flowered skull holds a candle like a friendly All Hallows Day spirit come to warm us with her sweet tempered light
‘Tis a new pathway a new beginning and the inspiration and creativity are cresting a wave of happiness as we fall and rise on the waves of existence, loving and learning as we go. I am in that flow and rising into fullness, the path of service to all of life, the sacred wholeness that is love. Blessed be, blessed be, my Beloved and Me, we are one on this journey.
A couple of posts ago I wrote about the commitment ceremony that my Beloved and I had been planning for an entire year. So we have now passed through that important milestone and I can now report to you that I do feel very different. It was the culmination of the many processes that have accelerated our growth and expansion as we have explored relationship as a spiritual practice. I have been feeling more confident in myself as well as ridiculously happy!
The old Kerry was always worried about being a ‘good’ girl and getting things right, with the underlying feeling that this was doomed to fail no matter how hard I tried. Now I find myself easily stepping into my larger self who is more concerned with creating a life that is in alignment with my values rather than satisfying someone elses idea of what is right or wrong. For example if I see a discrepancy in say a work situation I will simply ask the appropriate question seeking clarification. Well how hard can that be I hear you ask! There was a time when I would agonise over such an issue and possibly even not end up asking the question.
To simply be who I am without apology is the most liberating feeling and it gives me a sense of personal empowerment. This is something I can then bring to my sacred union, and to have someone I love deeply celebrating my achievements with me takes the whole thing up to an even higher level. So we feed off each other and expand even more and that energy bubble of love becomes bigger and bigger. That energy field that we create together is an important aspect of how we contribute to our community, we are quite literally spreading the love.
So be inspired if you like by our love story and find your own unique way of creating love and kindness in the world. If each of us could find that place in ourselves the world would be in much better shape.
I had the best dance last Sunday! With the theme being ‘Songs for the Earth’ the music was very earthy and tribal and feminine, I felt a huge sense of release and an unfolding of trust. The sprung wooden floor is wonderful to move upon, I spent time on the floor as I explored the various levels possible and I could feel Mother Earth’s support. A wonderful place to dance but at night the bright lights are a bit too much and unfortunately can;t be dimmed. So next time in about a week and a half we will take lamps and fairy lights to create a better atmosphere. A magical space where people can let go into their own personal flow and connect in with the energies of the others present, the earth, the galaxy, the whole of creation!
And most of all to have a really good dance, to move and stretch the body with joyful abandon so that I feel a bit sore the next day the way one does after a good yoga class. My Beloved and I are hatching a plan so that I can do his chill out yoga class each week, a gentle supported practice that invites deep opening in a place where one can truly let go. Just that simple fact of letting go is a powerful shift of energy that helps me to feel trusting and much clearer in myself. This combined with regular dancing may be my new physical practice, after all dance has always been my medicine.
My Beloved and I all dressed up and dancing! Photo by Antara May.
I am so looking forward to the next Ecstatic Dance and all the future events we will facilitate through the year. I love creating sacred space and that is the strong focus we will bring to these occasions. This first one in the new space ended up being a little unprepared owing to the chaotic life events that my Beloved and I have been swimming in. But we got excellent feedback from those who joined us in the dance and with each experience we will grow and expand.
Is life not a wondrous dance!
There are times when I want to lie forever in the warm nest that my Beloved and I make between us. Exploring the frontiers of pleasure and connectedness to another being so deep that you often have the sense of almost being merged with them. It’s a cosy little world and when I am in it I don’t ever want to leave. Then I go out in the world to work and to connect with my community, to interact with a different environment. That too can be magnificent, just as long as I keep nurturing that place called home that we have created together and separately. The place in myself that is love that I do not actually carry, it is more that it is the truth of who I am.
One of my important jobs is to be as happy as I can be and to radiate that joy out into the world as widely as I can. I am considering the possibility of being out in the world a bit more depending on some outcomes, I will have to remember the light and remember to radiate. Taking my bubble of love out into this strange world we have created is an opportunity to spread the energies of love and of compassion.
May all Beings everywhere be happy and free!
Love and blissings to all beings everywhere!
The life I have chosen to lead teaches me all the time about impermanence, the shape of where I am going to live always fluid. Now we are making a bigger shift as my Beloved and I begin the search for a new place to call home base. Somewhere to keep our stuff and to be at when we are in between house sits, ’twill be interesting to see what the next shape of our anchor is going to look like. I have fears that come up around this kind of change but more and more they are small and not so hard to let go of. Feels like there is a knowing in me that knows perfectly well that if we trust the flow we will move on to exactly where we need to be, in Divine Timing.
The thing is to marry the intuitive feeling into the shape and texture of the future, to the action that is required to carry this intention out into the world. The word is going out as we print up flyers, as social media gathers and connects us to community. So the energy goes out, seen and unseen, a new vision is birthing into vibrant manifestation! To be alive is to be changing constantly, how much more interesting than any soap opera is the inner view that is available for our perception if we so desire. And to see the shifting sands of life as exciting and full of potential creates the kind of mood that does bring great good fortune!
Hooray for change and for my graceful and easy passage through her shifting currents, at sail on the sea of desire with my Beloved…… life is good.
Mother Nature’s Balancing Act!
Things move afoot and the dance is to surrender to the wave of life force energy even when there is pain. There are lessons to be learned in surrendering to what is, even as you may be aware of positive changes that may help you navigate your journey. It’s a balancing act but if you remain open to the wonder and joy of life then you find you are much more open to miraculous possibility. Here am I feeling somewhat sorry for myself as my shoulder flares up yet again, possibly even worse this time! Not fun but I do try to surrender and lo and behold my landlady gives me a lesson in binding myself with yoga straps and helping my shoulder no end.
Mine is across the top of the chest but you get the idea!
The dance has been much upon my mind and even as I may retreat a little as I take good care of my sore bits, it is still swirling around. Not sure of a venue at this very moment so feeling the urge to share and a bit frustrated that it may be a while before we manage to do another dance. More than anything I feel that I need to be gentle and kind with me and let myself have a day off, at least until it’s time to go to work tonight!
So I will keep this short and finish by sharing with you my latest favourite bit of music, from a band called Lamb who have an awesome song called ‘Gorecki’ that we have used in more than one playlist. ‘All In Your Hands’ will definitely be making it on to a playlist once we get rolling again in the wave of ecstasy that is created by gathering people and giving them the space to express themselves in movement to music.
Enjoy the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dWzbG2ie4M
I sit here surrounded by a beautiful chaos, there is order and where it is not so you will find a view of gorgeous fabrics. A purple and silver sari draped over various massage related bits and pieces, above it a much darker purple belly dance scarf with two rows of silver coins. My Beloved’s paintings are now around us, just a few examples, full of vibrant colour and abstract shapes and forms. They seem very much like the expression of energies moving and much of his inspiration for the work has come through inner journeying.
There are three permanent altars in the space and probably would be even if we didn’t sometimes see clients here. Personal ritual can be a very powerful process, making an altar can be such fun! It can also be used as a focusing tool, by that I mean a ceremony that you bring intention to. And it has the capacity to shift your vibration into greater health, taking you from tired and grumpy to calm and inspired. Whatever shift you desire can be greatly assisted by the right kind of routine, and by that I mean the one that works for you. As we often used to say when I was studying counselling, you are the expert in your own life.
Might also be useful to tune into the colours around you and see if you can get a sense of how it feels to look at something red, or blue or green or yellow. And all of the other shades that are possible in a myriad of forms, nature abounds with huge variety and amongst man-made things in the world there are some very beautiful things one can have around the place. I have had the experience of walking beneath a sky that was a certain shade of deep blue and actually feeling the energy from that colour pouring into me. It felt great and even though I can’t tell you in words exactly what I was getting from it, I knew that it was just what I needed at the time because it felt so very right!
So remember to try to have a little fun in your life even when it gets a bit challenging, probably especially then as a matter of fact. For me having a spiritual path is what helps me navigate whatever waters I am sailing through. And things like making altars and playing with colours are part of a vast array of practices that can not only support your personal growth, but also help to keep your inner child happy and well.
Yay! The rich feast which is LIFE!
The lesson this week has been all about listening to my body, not necessarily in words but more often in feelings, the felt sense. It can have emotion attached to it but it is what is described as the kinesthetic sense and it is my primary way of receiving information about my world. Because we exist in a culture that tries to describe everything in a so-called rational way the interpretation can be challenging.
So I try to stay with how I am feeling in each moment rather than on creating stories. With an itchy rash and then an intensely painful left shoulder I’ve had to surrender to the feelings and sit with them. My body made it impossible for my week to unfold in the way I had planned and there were things I had to let go of. Somehow I have managed to balance it all and I find myself in a place where all is done and only a gentle ache in my shoulder. I’ve been kind to me even as I practice responsibility, the ability to respond to life’s shifting sands. And in my definition that means a response that is good for me and all life everywhere.
Can I tell you what it’s all been about? Not really, except that really huge energies have been moving through me to be cleared which is very exciting but can sometimes be a tad uncomfortable. It is so worth hanging on and staying with that discomfort, as you clear the old patterns more light can come in and you can see the larger you much more clearly than ever before. More light to share with the world but in particular my Beloved who is away from my side until tonight, three days and nights, oh how I do pine…….. But I also get things done, keeping the balance as best I can in each moment………..
Energy on the move!
Don’t forget to LOVE everyone, even the ones you don’t like very much!
Well I have certainly been in the wars since I last spoke to you! I’m glad I re-told you a story that neatly illustrated the idea that your body is speaking to you and that understanding this can bring healing and release. Not that it felt neat at the time but the way the rash began to get better as soon as I had taken action felt like a miracle as well as being a blessed relief. At the moment I am still in process but there is some relief as I no longer have a terrible itch on my hands and arms. And my left shoulder is still very sore but so much better than it was, I had to keep it as still as possible because all movement was painful.
I have had a couple of sessions on the energy that is moving through and it seems like it is ancestral connections that may need to be healed. That may well be part of the job I signed up for when I agreed to come to Planet Earth at this momentous time in humanity’s history. I found a road in my left shoulder which leads to where I need to go but there was resistance in me and I wasn’t quite ready to take that path. I think it needs to happen soon but not quite yet, I will feel my way into the future and see how it emerges from the mix.
For we all have within us the vision of all that we are. past, present and future, asked by society to be small we get scared by such a vast picture. We think it’s too much for us but it can give you clues to important aspects of your own existence. I have gone into the clouds with my Beloved having left our old bodies in a ceremony, there we meet a dear old friend who went some time before us. It felt like a true vision to me, they are rarely very long but they are intense and have a ring of authenticity about them.
Life can shift at a moment’s notice and yet there are what seem to be solid markers on the path that can be perceived when in a meditative or altered state of consciousness. Anyway I do seem to be surviving this latest episode, more insights if any come, love and tons of blissings to you all!
I have a lot of energy moving through me and some of it is expressing itself through an itchy rash on my arms and hands. Not sure how clearly you can see it in this photo but believe me when it goes into ultra itchiness it can seem almost unbearable. I will see how this unfolds and let you know if I can pass on anything useful. In the meantime here is a story I’m re-blogging as a great example of how the body can give us very clear messages in the most amazing fashion. On this particular occasion understanding the message provided almost instant healing! Read on:
It would have been towards the end of 2003 when I was involved in intense shamanic training in bodywork and breathwork, that I experienced this rash in a very intense form. I went to a talk by Nityama, a tantric master, just hugging him is enough to trigger an orgasmic state, I got a lot out of his talk on conscious relationships and it got me thinking about the relationship that I had supposedly ended just recently.It was someone I had a deep bond with and love for, but it was definitely not a conscious relationship, I had ended it because I knew it was doomed but he was still coming to my bed, it can be hard to let go as I’m sure you all know! At the end of that talk I knew I had to finish it completely but a week later I still hadn’t done anything about it.
Then a day or two after a bodywork session this rash started to develop on my face, it was intensely itchy and I had little pustules that wept at night so I had to have a towel on my pillow. I still went to work, life modelling and working in a bookshop, I was determined to work out what the rash was telling me so I refused to suppress it with medication. This went on for four days and then I was talking with my dear buddy Ulli on the phone about it, and we were discussing the significance of where it was occurring on my body, she said, “What is you’re not facing?”
The penny dropped and as soon as I hung up on her I rang my ex and asked him to come visit, he wasn’t surprised when I said we had to finish completely, there was a sense of relief on both our parts. I went to bed that night and when I woke up the rash was well on the way to healing, I had got the message and taken appropriate action.The message isn’t always as clear as on that occasion, but the body is always talking to us, and it has a deep wisdom we would be wise to tap into. In order to access this space it is necessary to do clearing on the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels of our being. I’ve been engaged in this process since the beginning of 2000 but the good news is that for some of you it will be much quicker, I have had a lot of damage to clear which is often the case for those of us engaged in the healing arts.
Either way it is so worth doing, life just gets better and better, there is more joy, pleasure and fun to be had, in fact it’s infinite!! So go ahead and follow your bliss, that’s my plan!
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Tagged bodywork and breathwork, clearing on all levels, conscious relationship, energy, follow your bliss, healing, listen to the body, Nityama, shamanic training, skin rash, tantra