Tag Archives: evolution

DreamSeeding New Realities.

orgasmic womanThe more we cultivate our Shakti ~ breathing, feeling, listening, heart undefended, feet on the earth, dancing in this moment ~ the more orgasmic all of life becomes. Orgasm isn’t just an “event” that happens between the sheets. It’s not dependent upon having the perfect lover or technique. It’s a liberation of the life force Shakti energy that has always been and IS you.

~ Lisa Schrader


I agree heartily with the above statement, and I would have done the same at any time in the last decade or so, in spite of some dark night of the soul periods that have been a part of my inner landscape at times. As I rapidly approach my 50th Birthday I can feel the life force stirring strongly in me, with the opportunities for growth and evolution unparalleled in this lifetime. Whatever your practice might be, do it…………yoga, meditation, toning, singing, dancing, communing with the stars! And I am not just saying this to women, everyone, men and women, all have access to the energy of shakti.

Or you could join the 42 day Blooming Humans Journey which begins on Feb 3rd, I have been through this process twice and it was inspiring and nourishing and helped me to grow. If you’ve been with me for a while you might recall “The Heartfire Gateway” on August 14 2013, when I was still posting every day. This latest Journey is about sparking our dream seeds into new realities, I am getting clearer every day about what I want to create and how I intend to fulfill my spiritual task on the planet, and have lots of fun along the way!


Time to let go of suffering, as my Beloved sometimes says to me, “Focus on the healing rather than the pain”, let go of whatever doesn’t allow you to be your natural ecstatic self. There is so much exciting potential simply teeming all around us if we can only see what is actually present in this magical reality that we all share.


Time to Grow…………..our dreams.

Waiting For The Storm.

What is the essence of me, who am I really when all is said and done, what do I contribute to the world simply by being that particular flavour of love shaped into form. I think of all the open faces beaming radiance in my direction as I move in and out of the dimensions of living in a rich tapestry of people and places, what are they telling me and am I listening? Does life begin now as I gather myself to fly high with all these lovely supporters ready to cheer me on as I finally take my purpose with both hands and use it to fuel an amazing vehicle whose tanks will never ever run out.


Old doubts and fears try to insinuate themselves into the new chapter opening up, like the darkness that shadows the clouds as they build and build towards the final release of storm and wind and lightning. At last the rain but no, another false alarm as the dry earth becomes a little dryer and the tanks drop a little lower, as I sink into the arms of my body’s wisdom, wishing for my own storm to arrive. Feels like a waiting game with no rules of engagement, the wisdom of the heart says to do nothing in this moment, simply be, taking each moment as it comes.


Another wrenching cough and I surrender, I raise the white flag and I LET GO………….the message is so very clear and I melt into that release, allowing the rising tension to dissipate, to go. If I stayed in this room for the rest of my life and did nothing more, my being would contribute to the evolution of life as we know it, there is absolutely NOTHING to be done.

I AM THAT I AM, I am what I am, I am alive and that is more than enough in this moment!

This has nothing much to do with this post except I’m writing about storms and the song is “Weather With You” from Crowded House, hope you enjoy the song anyway! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ag8XcMG1EX4

Woe Is Me.

Letting go is a theme that crops up in my healing process over and over again, let’s face it, it is a constant in life whether you are particularly focused on your evolution or not. You can go into denial and hold on for dear life but sooner or later there are going to be things going on that you cannot control and so you really do have to surrender, even if you are dragged kicking and screaming all the way!

Kerry Laizans Photo by Antara May.

Kerry Laizans
Photo by Antara May.

I am thinking of my experience last week when I came home from a night out feeling light and happy, finished the night off with some dancing to good music which is always a good recipe for me. I decided that I would write my post for the next day while I was in such a good mood, not such a great move after all but I wasn’t to know. My laptop was not behaving itself and what should have been a quick whip through my emails took forever, it was quite late by the time I finally started to write my post.

And then the magic happened, poetic prose came spilling out of me and I had one of those wonderful journeys where I had no idea where I was going until I got there, and felt awed at the result, possibly one of the best things I have ever written. You’re probably wondering which post this was, well you only got to see half of this seminal piece, the computer was still misbehaving but I ignored my intuition which told me to abandon ship and go back to good old pen and paper.  You know where this is leading don’t you, yes I ended up losing half the post and no matter how I tried, I could not find those words again, they were completely in the moment and my left brain had nothing to do with it so it really couldn’t help me out.


It was soooooo hard to let go of it, I ended up staying up far too late in a fruitless attempt to somehow change what had happened or to find that magic flow again. And as I lay in bed I had to use every breathing and relaxation trick in the book to get myself to relax, in the end it was breathing in and out through my heart that began to allow me to let go of my tight clutching of what I felt I had lost. And to satisfy your brimming curiosity, it was “Beauty Walks Before Me”: Oct 5 2013, when I completed the post the next day I couldn’t get a good sense of whether it was good or not, it could never match what I had lost!

Anyway, there seem to be a few who liked it and in the end I didn’t have much choice but to let go, it was gone and life goes on……….surrender to what is………..and listen to your intuition.

Everyone Is A Poem.

Connections, communication………community, all most important aspects of humanity’s evolution into the next stage, the future human. I am seeing that in myself here as I move more strongly into community, the hermit will always be an important part of me,  but there’s no reason why one can not have both in the right balance. I have a powerful need to spend time in my own space, but I also share the need that all people have to connect with others, especially those who are like-minded.



When I work on the crisis phones I talk to so many lonely people, so many of us never really have the opportunity to be heard, to have someone listen, and to see us as we truly are. I particularly loved the greeting of the alien race in Avatar, “I see you”, in that context the meaning is to see into the soul of the other being. How often do you actually meet the eyes of the person you are talking to, would it make you uncomfortable to gaze into those windows of the soul, not just with a lover, but to see the God or Goddess in every person you meet? Michael Frante says that “Every single soul is a poem, written on the back of God’s hand”, I feel such joy when I put that song on and dance to it, he is one of those poets and musicians who can take you into that ecstatic space very easily. Check the song out in this live performance in Sydney in 2010.


Of course I don’t always remember to bring that perspective to every encounter, if I’ve been triggered I may even have gone unconscious and be having trouble looking at the other person. That’s a rare event thank the Goddess, and the more that I can bring a sense of wonder and openness to every step of my path, the less likely I am to cause suffering to myself or anyone else. There’s been enough suffering on this planet, time for the  world to party and to share not only the joy, but the resources too!

As Saint Germaine always said, “Until further notice, celebrate everything!”

Believe It And It Will Be!

I listen to the voices in my head, does that make me mad? What’s more I tend to follow the advice that they give me, they never tell me to do anything that would harm myself or another living creature, in fact I find that what they tell me is usually in alignment with who I am as a spiritual and ethical being in the world. Yet most of those highly respected people who wear white coats and take charge of all the healing, would probably want to drag me away to a padded cell if they knew what goes on inside my mind.

So I don’t tell them, not that having voices in your head is necessarily a healthy phenomenon, but I know that I am sane, probably more sane than many of the people in white coats. I know that to be healthy I need to eat whole foods, reduce as much as possible the amount of stress I am experiencing, let go of thoughts that cause me suffering. I always come back to the fact that it is my perception that governs the kind of world that I create for myself, anything is possible if you believe that it can be true. Pay attention to your mind in the right way, and utopia is not only possible, but inevitable, hence my reliance on the voices in my head, they are a force for good.

Sounds easy doesn’t it, but in practical terms it takes a lot of focus and determination and what I like to call sheer bloody mindedness! We are indoctrinated in the first years of our life and we learn things like, ‘When I get sick I need to go to the doctor’, and so we believe that we are dependant on someone else for our healing. And so it goes, we are encouraged to be dependant rather than responsible for our own health and happiness, on all levels of our being. And most people buy into this story, no wonder there is such a lot of unhappiness in the world!


Bruce Lipton has written books on the subject of our beliefs and evolution and epigenetics, books such as “The Biology of Belief”, and “Spontaneous Evolution”, and is a very inspiring speaker who makes this information very accessible. This interview is 50 minutes long and well worth watching, check it out!


My Regretful Vagina.

This time of challenge with my teeth has helped to bring me into yet another stage of my evolution. Not so much the cracking open and clearing that’s been going on these last few months, but more a process of refinement. In my deep reflections and consultation with my inner voices, I have identified my priorities even more clearly and I am letting go of whatever isn’t completely necessary.

I’m a bit sad that my plan to audition for ‘The Vagina Monologues’ has to fall by the wayside, but it was more about a bit fun and, I have to be honest here, showing off! What I am doing in this moment, writing from my heart and sharing that reflection with the world, is far more important. If I am going to focus on manifestation this is where I need to bring my attention, the cauldron of creativity and joy that being a wordsmith gives to me.

As I write those words my heart trembles and expands in anticipation of the pleasures ahead on the road of living with full purpose! There can be no greater joy than to live in every moment with passion, and the excitement of new discoveries, as life continues to enrapture and surprise the grown up child I have become. Once I have established this part of my vocation more,I may have time to allow the aspect of me that wants to strut her stuff on the stage to have her moment in the spotlight. Perhaps I will even write something just for her, that will display her talents and skills to best effect.

‘The Vagina Monologues’ is a moving feast of work with Eve Ensler, the writer and performer, creating  a new monologue every year to highlight current issues affecting women in the world. This one is called ‘My Angry Vagina’, check it out!