Tag Archives: expansion

Coming Back.

From expansion to contraction, waking to a day where I don’t have to do anything, and then feeling like I am not being very effective in anything that I’m doing. Uneasy belly wants me to go back to bed and stay there, but I force myself to get on the lap top and begin the process of looking for a subject for this post. The subject ends up being how I can’t seem to settle on anything today, not exactly something that is going to set the world on fire.

I have a look at “The Art of Non-Conformity” and even that is not rocking my boat, I guess I could try going back to “Tantric Orgasm for Women” but I suspect even that won’t lift me as it usually does. Then I hear Kookaburra calling and I am reminded that laughter is a wonderful medicine to lift the spirits, even listening to the sound and my belly quiets down a bit. I’ve been noticing the sound of the kookaburra quite a lot lately, could it be that I need to lighten up a bit?

kookaburra

It’s easy to fall into the trap of taking life too seriously, especially when you are coming out of expanded states back into consensual reality, just acknowledging the fact begins to reduce the stress. Then I take a few deep breaths and I begin to tune in to the stillness that is always waiting within, the cicadas outside begin to sound and my belly softens as I let go of tension. And in that still space I begin to realise that my fears and doubts have been stirred up in the sacred space over the weekend, this is the discomfort that I need to sit with and it’s ok to be feeling like that.

Thank the Goddess!

Here is an intepretation of the meaning of the Kookaburra: http://solacetemple.wordpress.com/2007/11/10/kookaburra-a-spirit-bird/

It’s All About Love.

“It’s all about love. We fall in love with ourselves the minute we see our true Being. There’s no other option. It’s so beautiful. If we really believed that we were worthy of love – and that, in fact, we are the love that’s waiting for us within our own hearts – every second of our day would be different. Every single second. Immediately.”

~ Krishna Das 

This quote really struck through to the core of me, I have been falling in love with myself for a while now and I have shed a lot of layers, but is there still a layer or two in the spiraling levels that my heart holds that may not have completely let go? I am the closest I have ever been to that place, have experienced it while journeying in deep spaces, know that in some ways everything else that is going on is a distraction, and yet it all does serve a purpose.

The seconds of the day are very different for me than they were even 6 months ago, much less a year or more, but it can shift some more, there is always room for expansion. When I reflect on the shift I can see that self-love really is at the core of what has changed within me, the critic speaks less and less, more and more I allow myself to deserve abundance in all areas of my life. And I am harvesting, not always in the way I thought I would but when you give things to God/Goddess you have to surrender to the way in which your intentions come to you.

godgoddesstree

In a talk by Ram Dass he tells a story of how his guru told him to love everybody and to speak the truth, if you haven’t listened to Ram Dass I highly recommend him. I decided to take on loving everyone as a spiritual practice some years ago when I was still in the big city and it was a most enlightening experience. I realised that I was judging people all the time without even realising it, every time I noticed this habit I changed it to loving the person instead. This brought me into a beautiful loving state every time, do this often and you are beginning to approach being in that place of loving kindness more often than you are in consensual reality, which tends to be a bit more dour.

A good reminder which I am going to take on for myself, although I tend to love everybody where I live because I live surrounded by beautiful people, it will be interesting to see if it seems much different.

Love is all you need.

Fierce Grace is a beautiful documentary of an extraordinary soul who describes his stroke as “being stroked”, if you don’t have time to watch it now save it for later, it really is a deeply moving story.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYXOfc-u5dk

And here is Krishna Das chanting “Ma Durga”, one of my favourites, chant along with the music and feel the vibration of the Sanskrit language, it has a lot of power.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_6jiNy9m9E

Abundant Me.

The nights with this cold I’ve had were rather interesting, if not what I would describe as particularly pleasant. That’s when the cough would come and make it hard to sleep, I noticed though that after a really deep racking cough there was a sense of expansion and lightness in my chest that actually felt good. I was also aware of a strong vibration going on at a cellular level that indicated a lot of energetic movement, a big shift of some kind. I keep seeing the Tower from the tarot and the Death card, both of these archetypes indicate fundamental change occurring.

tower-tarot-carddeathcard

I guess my trip to Sydney to sort out my stuff was even bigger than I realised, it closes a chapter in my life so there is a kind of death that is happening. In many ways I have been in transition for the last two and a half years even though my focus has been very much on where I have been living. Let’s face it, how often does an old chapter end neatly with the new one following on, there is almost always a bit of back and forthing that goes on.

Now I need to address any completions that need to be done with regards to the old path that is finishing, and probably the hardest part is letting go of the old outmoded ways of being that no longer serve me. The one that is coming up big time for me is abundance and being supported, with a better return on the energy I put out I will be able to do a better job of looking after myself. There are things I could do less of and be happy, but economic necessity is a factor that cannot be ignored and so I do what I have to. But I’m not prepared to compromise on things I know are important for me to do, even though they may not bring in income, and so we arrive at a schedule that becomes overwhelming at times.

Butterfly_release

It’s a biggie but I do finally think that the time has come to properly address this issue, and my intuition has been telling me for the longest time that my writing is the key to this. We shall see what unfolds, I will be calling on all the resources I can find inner and outer to meet this particular challenge, wish me luck as I go!

Stormy Waters Clearing.

I’m beginning to really enjoy my little contractions and expansions, not always so little of course but I seem to be cruising through beautiful tropical waters at the moment, where the storms that sometimes blow up don’t last very long at all. That’s the thing about persisting with your healing and personal growth, you do begin to reach levels where stuff comes up, and you deal with it relatively quickly. You often don’t even need to go into any story associated with the feelings, just allow them to fully express and move on out.

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One of the things I used to complain about was that no matter how big the release, the period of calm and peace that came afterwards never seemed to last very long. I wouldn’t even get as much as a day of clarity sometimes before something else would be triggered, so you end up spending a hell of a lot of time being ‘in your stuff’, with these little islands of peace bobbing up here and there. It really is worth it, at least it has been for me, I hardly recognise myself from two years ago much less five or ten, and ask anyone who has known me for a long time and they will tell you this represents huge improvements!

After a magical weekend at The Maleny Music Weekend I am feeling one of those contractions, it’s an uneasy feeling in my belly that has no particular cause. I was on a high all weekend, singing with my choir, listening and dancing to wonderful music, connecting with lots of yummy people, having a great time at my regular sunday market. It was a big expansion and so now I move through the contraction which is pretty minor, it certainly isn’t a storm, maybe a mist on the horizon that will be cleared by the sunlight of my afternoon out in the world.

To sunlight and love, to good music and good friends!

Here is a short video of one of the bands that played on the weekend, Gypsy Loco: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMeVwq54ljc

Neil Murray also played and this song brought tears to my eyes, it’s about Australia: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1YIQtuTx7I