I spoke of how the energy of this house I’m living in at the moment, has been good for relationship, and that it didn’t happen exactly as I might have imagined. Of course I’m only half way through my time here, so I’m sure that there are more exciting events on the way, quite apart from the four dinner, movie nights I have scheduled! Not to mention the dinner for six that is happening tomorrow night. The entertaining has gone well and has gone pretty much to plan, it’s more the romantic side of things that was different, and that’s something I can lay fairly and squarely at the feet of Fay Fairytale.
This is not to lay blame elsewhere or avoid responsiblity, Fay is a part of me and if I can’t keep her in check nobody can! And as I said in my last post, she conspired with the object of my admiration to trigger lots of stuff that I am much better off without, I can trip lightly through the world now, dance in the sunlight! It also brought me to a place of power in giving me the chance to speak up for myself, and that is something that happened here in this place. So easy to create sacred space here for whatever occasion I might be planning, the energy is already flowing beautifully, all I need to do is make adjustments according to what is going to happen.
And so I took my courage in both hands and I spoke, and it wasn’t perfect, I didn’t get the response I would have liked and in retrospect I wish I had been more challenging. But what truly matters is that I did it, I’ve been in the process of moving on ever since and part of that is to be ok with the fact that I could have done better. Last time I looked I wasn’t perfect, oh well, I think I can live with that one! Every time I meet a challenge that terrifies me I become stronger and more whole, the monsters under the bed are starting to look pretty tame.
Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak.
My Wild Woman is sick of slaying monsters, all she wants to do now is kick up her heels and have fun!
I anchor into the world by doing ordinary tasks, cooking, cleaning, looking after animals, I organise the wood and I wash the dishes. Of course this is all happening to the sound of the bell birds, and wherever I look I can see green leaves and sunshine, inside all the different grains of wood keep me connected to the natural world. I’ve been on a wild ride, and it’s time to come back to the mother, the earth, grounding into the energies that sustain and nourish us all, this way I might actually be able to make some sense of the lessons I have learned.
And the curriculum in the classroom has been what? Well, there are many subjects here but the most important one is probably trust, not so much trust of another, but of self. I ignored advice from dear friends, I let Fay Fairytale override my intuition, I chose in a pretty conscious way to be in denial of what I knew to be true. So you could say that I didn’t trust my deeper knowing, on the other hand perhaps there was an even deeper knowing that wanted me to have the experience in order to activate the enormous amount of material that I’ve shifted in that period. We are talking about from the Summer Solstice last year, up to the present moment, I am a very different person to who I was then.
My intuition has grown enormously in this same period, there is more space for it and I trust it more, it told me things about this house that I am living in and it has all come true, although not necessarily as I might have imagined it. I had a feeling there might be a death with the animals, but I put it aside not wanting to borrow trouble, well one of the guinea pigs decided it was time to shuffle off this mortal coil, and I now realise that it was a premonition. I also felt it would be a good house for relationship and communication, I’ve done more entertaining here in two and a half weeks than I’ve done in many years!
Community and connection, is even sweeter over the sharing of a meal made with love………………………………
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Tagged anchor, community, connection, conscious, curriculum, earth, energies, Fay Fairytale, intuition, lessons, love, natural world, ordinary, premonition, relationship, trust