Tag Archives: freedom

Freedom Through Personal Power!

Ecstatic Dance SilhouetteIn my dance with the prospect of bureaucratic nightmares I kept telling myself I would have a really productive day. And my definition of that was that I was happy and content and that the things that truly needed to be done, were done! A lot of being in the moment and in the body with walking and dogs and dancing, lots of it all in just a few days so legs are sore but spirit is nourished. When I dropped in to my body’s desire I knew that I wanted to be free and independent and in my power. To believe in myself and what I want to create in this next phase of my exciting life with my wonderful Beloved. Who knows maybe we will even get back to running a workshop before too long.

Check out this amazing artist Gaia Orion! http://wisewomanmentor.com/art-gallery/1301431

Check out this amazing artist Gaia Orion! http://wisewomanmentor.com/art-gallery/1301431

So I decided to go it alone and put my time and energy and focus as much as possible on to positive activities. They may involve animals or gardens at a house sit or marketing or research for various work projects. We have our new home base and it is just perfect for us, like our own little flat in town that we can drop in to any time. And probably see clients there too so although there is still a lot of change it is all starting to feel like it might be settling down a bit. As much as it ever does in these times of shifting sands!

body in space

There will probably be fears coming up as I move forward into these changing times and it will be a grand opportunity to let go of more of what is in the way of me stepping into my power. That was what my two dances were about, the one my Beloved and I ran and the one I attended that was facilitated by 5Rythms teacher Honor Morningstar. Dance is definitely good medicine for me, I will have to try and get into Brisbane some time for more dancing. Maybe in and out of the city with car pooling might make it a bit easier, hard enough having to go off the hill, in to the city can be a bit too much for us country folk.

My Beloved and I all dressed up and dancing! Photo by Antara May.

My Beloved and I all dressed up and dancing! Photo by Antara May.

Guess I will keep listening to that inner voice that seems to be taking me in positive directions in my life. Easier to do when you have had a lot of feedback that tells you that your intuition is generally correct. Even I have to start believing in myself when it gets confirmed over and over again.

Aho!

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Prosperous Shifting Sands.

Shifting from fear to wonder and riding the storm, short, sharp and intense, but no longer ushering in a dark sky that is wont to bring the clouds that prevent me from seeing my own  bright light. The sense of doom sitting in the pit of my belly a relic of the past that I leave further behind with every breath, trusting that every step that I take is an integral part of the picture that I am painting in inner realms.

Trust, trust…………surrender to what is and move with my own precious flow, plucking the jewels that lie along the way, glittering like stars and offering me such a rich array of bounty. Within the deepest parts of self the sands are shifting, uncertain footing giving the illusion of shaky ground, a sense of falling……………turns to freedom and wings taking flight.

Letting go into the unknown as the heart’s wisdom opens door after door, fractal beauty speaks to my DNA and I AM so excited as creativity unfolds with each release of the force of life. Less and less do I resist, the creeping mist, burns off with morning’s rays, shining like the gleaming gold of treasure buried, of dragon’s hoard.

I am the treasure and I am found, I am here, homeward bound, I am here, sacred pure sound, I am the one receiving the sun, flower is open, time to have fun!

Speaking of dragons, we are about to meet Smaug, for fans of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, check out this trailer if you haven’t already!

Bilbo - The Hobbit 2 Movie

Out Of The Cocoon.

I was reflecting the other day upon the butterfly theme that keeps cropping up in my posts on a fairly regular basis, for a time I considered it to be one of my totems. It probably isn’t so much these days, the snake has well and truly taken over that role, and it represents the really deep shedding from my core that’s been happening for the last two years, particularly since the summer solstice of 2012. The world may not have ended, but it certainly went through a huge shift, and for myself, I feel so different it’s as if the world did finish at that point in time.

But for a time in the early naughties the butterfly was my symbol, it represented transformation and freedom, I always loved the idea that the butterflies were tasting the petals with their feet as they danced from flower to flower. A butterfly came to visit me at the end of 2001 when my mother and I were setting up the stall for our last Woodford Folk Festival on Christmas Day. I kept shooing it out, the tent was baking hot and not a good place for such a delicate creature. I thought it had gone but towards the end of the day I found it, it had been determined to stay with us, and I was touched that it had chosen to spend its last day with me and mum.

Butterfly in flight.

Butterfly in flight.

I felt that the butterfly had come to tell me that it was my time to come out of the cocoon and to begin my transformation, I was about to do my first deep shamanic training starting on January 2nd, and so the timing was very significant. It was the beginning for me of fundamental change that came from a deep exploration of my being, and the release of cellular memory, the beginning of the long path home.

May All Beings Be Happy And Free.

Ok, I’m going to go out on a limb now and say that I really, truly think that I’m through the worst of this latest upheaval, phew……….what a ride it’s been! Doesn’t mean that there won’t be challenges ahead, I just want a break from emotional pain, go back to my theme of kicking my heels up and having fun. I’m setting a clear intention to stop being the human yo-yo, expanding, contracting, expanding, contracting………from the heights of ecstasy to the pits of despair.

As I write these words I can feel my heart stirring softly, like the petals of a flower preparing to open to the sun’s bright rays of gleaming light, I am a lotus flower ready to bloom in all its fullness. That full heart is spilling over and all my cells gradually begin to be infused with its gentle radiance, suspended as if I were levitating, this dense physicality lightening with a sense of soul, of spirit and love. Breathing in and out through my heart, I fall into the rhythm of the beat that is life, that is blood rushing from organ to organ, bringing nourishment to the magnificent co-operative that is the human body.

Lotus Flower.

Lotus Flower.

We are such miracles each and every one of us, connected to the greater mysteries that underly the tangible reality that we can see and touch. Each of us is an antenna with our feet on the earth, and our intuition reaching out into the cosmos, capable of tuning into whatever we may choose, be it a beetle on the rainforest floor, or a comet on its fiery path. Once again it comes back to choice, what do you want to have more of in your life, what makes your heart sing with joy and delight? I have a few things that do that for me, but what I am doing in this very moment, writing about life and death and everything in between, that’s what really takes me into pure happiness.

Your heart will show you the way, be soft and kind with yourself, learn to be loving to you, know that you deserve to be happy and to be free. There’s a Sanskrit chant that embodies this message, lokah samasta, it means, “May all beings be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words and actions of my own life contribute in some way to this happiness, and to this freedom for all.” Here is a beautiful version of this from Deva Premal and Miten:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usJl7oiZPnc

Brave The Storm!

I keep thinking of that Split Enz song, ‘Six Months in a Leaky Boat’, I’ve recently had ten days that felt like being in a storm on a boat in the middle of the ocean, there were calm spells but the storm kept coming back, and I felt incredibly battered and bruised by the end of it. The sea of course is representing my emotional state of being, the trigger was very much outside of me and created a swirling vortex of mixed emotions. And finally I began to allow myself to feel anger, I know I always say, “Don’t blame the trigger”, but there’s nothing wrong with righteous anger in response to inappropriate behaviour, as long as you don’t go out and kill someone, however much you would like to!

stormatsea

The trick here is to keep focusing on what is happening for you, express your truth to another if that’s what’s needed, but have no expectation on how it will be received. The most important thing is to speak it, if the person you are communicating with chooses to disregard possible insights that may be there for them, then that’s their business, and really, do you actually want to be in charge of sorting out someone else’s crap? I didn’t think so, well neither do I, so I’m doing my best to let go of the need to be right, and to be at peace with the clarity that is now crystal clear around me, as clear as the night sky in my haven in the bush.

There is a sense of freedom and liberation that is becoming more and more expanded in my being, the grief grows less and less, and I can open into the inner space that has suddenly become available. It’s happening very fast so I guess I was ready to go there, with all the shedding I’ve been doing the inner realms would have to be becoming more streamlined!

Moral of the story, never give up no matter how long and bloody the road, follow your intuition and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. And always be true to yourself, even when it scares the bejesus out of you!

Here is Split Enz singing ‘Six Months in a Leaky Boat’, even more apt then I remembered, when you strike out to explore new territory it can get pretty uncomfortable, but go for it anyway!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeKdUeb1InI

Screaming In The Car.

And now for the conclusion to our thrilling tale! We left our heroine (that’s me), lying in a circle of love receiving the healing that she so very much-needed, even princesses have to learn to receive. In fact with responsiblity can come over conscientiousness, so sometimes we royalty have to be very careful to schedule in down time. As a matter of fact I’ve been offered the gift of a healing to help shift this latest round of stuff, and I graciously said yes, it felt like exactly what was needed.

So the toning circle was divine, and so was the avocado dip and other goodies that we consumed with our cups of tea, as the group gathered to share food and good conversation. But before too long it was time for these lovely people to go on their merry way, as my dear mother and I prepared to go on to a very important gathering. In the circle we had toned for our dear friend, who has received a serious diagnosis, now we went on to a gathering that came together to offer support and tons of love to this dear, dear soul we love so very much.

As mum and I arrived we came into a scene of action, bright lights and men striding around with cans of beer, then I saw that a car had managed to get bogged. I’m so glad no one expected me to do anything about the situation, the men were obviously having a great time problem solving, and so we left them to it. There was such gentleness and love in the group upstairs, food being organised, wine being drunk and eventually beautiful voices being raised in song. But the gentleness and my exhaustion had almost undone me and I had to leave fairly early, I could feel the sobs wanting to come out.

In the car I sobbed and sobbed, I waited till I got home to scream but it probably would have been ok to do it in the car, no one around to hear me. Another big release, and then I was so exhausted it wasn’t hard to fall asleep and stay there. Woke feeling a bit wrung out but my day at the market connecting with wise colleagues, and doing readings for clients that reflected back to me my own journey, helped me get through the other side of that black tunnel.

The sound quality on this video is poor but if you go to the 6 minute mark you can listen to Dory Previn singing “Twenty Mile Zone”, all about screaming in the car. And consider checking out her music, she was an amazing song writer. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdbhxD5B9q0

Dory Previn.

Dory Previn.

‎I was sooooo tempted to blame my trigger this time but wise counsel and my own knowing helped me not to go there. Taking responsiblity for your own stuff is such an integral part of the road to freedom, feels like I have managed yet another leg of that particular road trip.

May the journey continue as I expand into my own magnificence!

I Begin!

I have always been a fan of Alice in Wonderland, popping down the rabbit hole has been a habit of mine for years now and it’s an exciting and sometimes confronting journey. Like Alice I try to believe six impossible things before breakfast, and in what we now know to be a quantum universe this is starting to look like a practical description of reality.

Not that I pretend to fully understand the science behind it, but even I can see that science and the mystic wisdom of the ages are finally meeting. We have entered the vortex and are passing through into a new earth, a new humanity. What it will be like beyond the vortex I do not know but that it will be marvellous I feel quite sure. Optimism seems the best way forward, optimism powered by the energy of love which, as it turns out, really does make the world go round. The Beatles were right and Wall Street has definitely got it very wrong.

Love is all you need, but I don’t mean the kind of love you’ll find in romantic novels, where the corseted women swoon and the charming, dastardly rogue turns out to have a heart of gold and be good husband material. Oh no, we’re living in a culture that has done it’s best to create order with rigid rules about who’s supposed to love who and look at the mess we’ve created!

It’s time to clean up our mess and having the freedom to be who we are in our fullness must be a part of that. Learning how to be in my fullness is what my healing journey is all about and I hope this may provide reflections, like sunlight upon a many faceted crystal. Reflections that may find answering echoes in the souls of my fellow explorers as we embark on the most exciting journey of all, discovery of self!

ALice

Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland

Down the rabbit hole!

Down the rabbit hole!