Tag Archives: fullness

May All Beings Be Happy And Free.

Ok, I’m going to go out on a limb now and say that I really, truly think that I’m through the worst of this latest upheaval, phew……….what a ride it’s been! Doesn’t mean that there won’t be challenges ahead, I just want a break from emotional pain, go back to my theme of kicking my heels up and having fun. I’m setting a clear intention to stop being the human yo-yo, expanding, contracting, expanding, contracting………from the heights of ecstasy to the pits of despair.

As I write these words I can feel my heart stirring softly, like the petals of a flower preparing to open to the sun’s bright rays of gleaming light, I am a lotus flower ready to bloom in all its fullness. That full heart is spilling over and all my cells gradually begin to be infused with its gentle radiance, suspended as if I were levitating, this dense physicality lightening with a sense of soul, of spirit and love. Breathing in and out through my heart, I fall into the rhythm of the beat that is life, that is blood rushing from organ to organ, bringing nourishment to the magnificent co-operative that is the human body.

Lotus Flower.

Lotus Flower.

We are such miracles each and every one of us, connected to the greater mysteries that underly the tangible reality that we can see and touch. Each of us is an antenna with our feet on the earth, and our intuition reaching out into the cosmos, capable of tuning into whatever we may choose, be it a beetle on the rainforest floor, or a comet on its fiery path. Once again it comes back to choice, what do you want to have more of in your life, what makes your heart sing with joy and delight? I have a few things that do that for me, but what I am doing in this very moment, writing about life and death and everything in between, that’s what really takes me into pure happiness.

Your heart will show you the way, be soft and kind with yourself, learn to be loving to you, know that you deserve to be happy and to be free. There’s a Sanskrit chant that embodies this message, lokah samasta, it means, “May all beings be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words and actions of my own life contribute in some way to this happiness, and to this freedom for all.” Here is a beautiful version of this from Deva Premal and Miten:


Letting, Letting, Letting…………Go.

Letting go and being still, letting go and being still, letting the flow of spirit take care of things, giving my deepest desires over to God, Goddess, All That Is……… If there’s nothing you can do in a situation, then do nothing, simple really isn’t it, and it applies to a few things that are going on for me at the moment. Some is financial stuff, special kind of headache that one for me, and some definitely has to be taken care of very consciously, but some of it can be given over to a higher power and what a relief that is!

let go

With the desire to be in a relationship the letting go is harder to do, but I am managing to get there, not abandoning the notion of moving into a conscious relationship, but moving myself away from the eggs all being in one basket approach. That’s been my emotional underlay in all my relationships, THIS IS IT AND SO I’D BETTER HANG ON NO MATTER WHAT! It really isn’t a good dynamic for healthy partnerships, which I see as two equals coming together to nourish and support each other so that each can be in their fullness. A dance of lightness and joy, of laughter and gay abandon!

If you don’t know what your dynamics are then I strongly suggest you start listening to your self-talk, what are you telling yourself over and over again, about yourself and the people you are connected to. You may need to find a form of therapy that helps you to tune into that voice, I think it was a combined bodywork and breathwork session that brought to my awareness the thought about having to hang on. That would have been in 2002 and here I am eleven years later still releasing layers of that particular illusion, don’t worry I’m probably a slow learner, with any luck you will move along much faster than I did.

She Let Go
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go. She let go of fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go. She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go… She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all of the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right. She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her day-timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go. She didn’t analyse whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go. No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go. There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that. In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.

The author of this poem is unclear.  A few sites list Ernest Holmes as the author, another Jennifer Eckert Bernau and still another Rev. Safire Rose.

The Faerie Circle: Stillness.

The feeling of  a new energy moving in me, it’s been evolving and now the final refit is done, and I’m ready to ride the wave into a future previously unimagined. This is like an inner tsunami sucking me into the becoming that is what and who I am, is who and what I am, in this NOW moment. I ache for that deeper touch, the one who slips into the cracks and becomes warm nourishment without doing anything at all, except be who they are. I ache for that depth and in that yearning the call is sent, it will be received by those who choose to listen, there is not long to wait.

I am so full it’s hard to imagine any greater fullness, and the fuller I become the more that I move into the stillness, the silence, letting go for now, of all those dear connections………… I felt like I was in a great stillness for the whole of yoga today and time was completely meaningless, it wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad, it simply was, and I flowed. And I keep letting go, and letting go, so I guess I could also try not to give myself a hard time when I take a step backwards, it’s called being human and sometimes that hurts a bit, then you breathe and you let go.

Time to dance from that place, move the body and allow it to be a conduit for the energies that are desirous of moving through you, dancing out dreams and visions, throwing out stardust and fairy blossoms! The thing to remember is that the enchantment is always there, we can created special circumstances to highlight it but it is always there, underneath everything.

May the whole world fall under the enchantment of love, of peace and of community, unity and freedom for all.

“All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.”
―    J.M. Barrie,    Peter Pan

“When the first baby laughed for the first time, its laugh broke into a thousand pieces, and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies.”
―    J.M. Barrie,    Peter Pan

Green Fairyearthfairy

The Source of all the Juice.

I can feel all this poetry swirling around in my head, just below the surface of consciousness, a hint of symmetry, of feeling and of cadence. How can I  tap into this fertile source of creativity and bring forth great bursts of inspiration, a conundrum that has been pondered over for centuries. From what source does such brightness flower?

For me in the past it has simply happened in the moment, lots of different factors coming together to provide that magical opening to the realms of invention. I wrote 34,000 words of a novel once, and while it remains an unfinished manuscript, I learned a lot by going through the process. Once I got through the HUGE resistance to doing it, I found that simply sitting down with a blank page and opening my imaginative eye was all I had to do. There would be a word or a sentence, or an image, and from that all else would flow, like a river of joy.

Writing in the space of this blog is much the same, I generally have no idea what I’m going to write about, I begin and it unfolds, and it often surprises me. I like surprises! You know, I think this is the fun that you have when you’re doing what you are meant to do, the happiness of being in your purpose, the flow of meaning.

I know I have to somehow find ways of actually earning a proper income, so I can do all sorts of basic self-care things, like get my teeth fixed and get my boxes in storage sent up to where I am now. Financially I feel a bit like my hands are tied behind my back, and the blindfold I was wearing is still half on,  old beliefs are still trying to weigh me down and sink me to the bottom of the pool.

But at the same time I am happier than I have ever been, the community that I live in is beautiful and nourishing and I feel like I am resting in the safe space of home. And this writing fills me with exhilaration and excitement, it is a pleasure to craft each post, to find a title and images that come together in a perfection that I can feel in my body.

I am following the path of my heart completely, may it lead me to that far horizon which is within me, the fullness inside that is bursting to be released, full of juicy joy for a wonderful life!

Juicy orange

The Girl Cell (in us all).

I am part of an email group that has been having discussions about violence towards women for the last week or so. It was sparked off by the Avaaz campaign, against the savage rape of a woman in India, who later died, and the culture of condoning these acts which is prevalent in that culture.

Some felt that the campaign is too sensationalist, and that there is too much of a focus and blame on men as perpetrators, while others feel that men and boys should feel shame for the actions of their counterparts. I didn’t have time to read all the words written, but when I tried to, I found myself getting stuck in my head, somehow all those words were distancing me from the reality of what the discussion was really about.

Someone posted a TED talk which spoke to this whole theme and I found it very inspiring, I wept through much of it, not sure how much of my release was sadness at what is done to women, and how much joy at the strength in the stories she tells, of courageous girls standing up for us all. You will find the link at the bottom of this post, Eve Ensler talking about the girl cell inside each and every one of us, man or woman.

After watching the video this is what I wrote: That we all are horrified at this kind of violence being perpetrated on anyone is apparent, any reasonable human being in their right mind could be nothing else.

That the feminine has been oppressed and ground down for centuries is indisputable, that it has been done to men and to women is also a part of the truth. There are many paths that lead to an enlightened and evolved humanity but I don’t believe that playing the blame or the shame game is particularly useful. Let our young men and women be brought up to honour their masculine and their feminine aspects, to step into their fullness with joy and with delight.

If I wasn’t an optimist I would have slit my wrists a long time ago, as it is I have a flame of hope that burns eternally in my heart that says that we will become those future humans. The most important change happens within our own consciousness, the river of awareness that can flow from this into the world cannot be quantified or labelled, we are more powerful than we can ever imagine.

Eve Ensler: Embrace your inner girl | Video on TED.com

Flying High.

It all began with the oil pulling, and ended up with me in a state of bliss, feeling enormous gratitude for my wonderful life! You gotta love the ups and downs of existence, provided you know what to do with the bits that feel uncomfortable, they are actually great moments of opportunity if you play your cards right.

Having had a very strange day, I arrived for two hours of dancing feeling an undercurrent of tension, that had nothing to do with where I was or the people I was with. Dancing is always a liberating act for me, but even so I could feel tension around my mouth, and thoughts of lack and scarcity, powered by fear, kept floating up.

I consciously danced them out of my body, when the negative thoughts came I cancelled them, and created new thoughts, “I am Abundant and life is a flow that brings me everything I could ever need or want!” It was a bit challenging at first but I persisted, and slowly but surely I began to feel joy infusing my being. My smile went from being a trifle forced, to a genuine expression of my awakening spirit.

When I came home I managed to bring a dragonfly into my room, it was perched on my skirt and I had to leave it inside, it was flying so high there was no chance of catching it and taking it outside. After dinner I went out again and when I came home the dragonfly was easily caught and released into the garden, a great relief.

The dragonfly represents transformation, and the ability to be flexible and adapt to the ebb and flow of events, the frog is also associated with this totem and can mean abundance, and is connected strongly to water which is the element that represents emotions. So I interpret that as the shifting of old feelings and patterns of thinking, that have stood in the way of me stepping into the fullness of who I am, and allowing myself to experience true abundance on every level of my being.

May the Abundant Universe unfold, as I spread my wings and FLY!!


From Little Things Big Things Grow.

Even I, worshiper of the heat, is feeling that things are just a teensie weensie bit hot, and I’m up in the mountains, feeling very sorry for the lowlanders, especially those under threat of fire. Global warming seems very real at times like this but it isn’t really the best name for the phenomenon, climate change is a better term, as it is talking about extreme weather, and can sometimes be describing extreme cold.

I don’t really understand the science behind it all, but I have heard that the other planets in our solar system are also experiencing climate change, so it does seem as though there might be a bigger picture that we are missing. According to Gregg Braden the ancients have described just this type of change happening before, he says that we are coming to the end of a very long cycle, 5,000 years or so.

He also says that it is the cultures that responded cooperatively to the situation that managed to survive, the ones who had the idea to grab what they could and stuff everyone else, were the ones that disappeared.  I think you can see that I am finding even more ways to go on about my favourite subject, the importance of community and connection with each other.

Whatever you might believe about climate change, there is absolutely no doubt that we have to do things differently if humanity is to survive on the planet. In ‘The Hobbit’ Gandalf explains his choice of Bilbo for the dwarves adventure, by explaining that it is the small actions that ultimately make a difference, being compassionate to yourself and to others, the small kindnesses, as opposed to the great battle against evil. How we behave in our everyday lives is what determines the outcome on a larger scale, so please never discount the importance of the role that you have to play.

I encourage you to listen to both parts of this video, it seems to have been put together from a few different talks and not always well-edited, but it is a great summary of the shift we are currently going through. I am not asking you to believe anything, just be open and consider possibilities that may or may not be new to you. For me this information really resonates and I am feeling the changes in my body very strongly, and doing my best to step into my fullness!


Coming Home.

Here is the sequel to my musings on the landscape rolling past as the train speeds me towards home, not just a physical place, but the place where I will find myself completely:

Gladly I go into the quiet country night, its stillness a benediction, a balm to my citified soul. At last I am where the voices can come clearly into my psyche, to guide me even deeper and take me where I have not been before.

I have tasted this place on many occasions but the time has come for me to leap into the waters and immerse my organic being in the deep pool of truth, until all the layers of armour have been washed away. Until all that ia left is who I have always been, the fullness that was so frightening I now welcome with open arms!

Embracing the unknown, the flow of sensual, succulent spirit that is here to guide me home, bringing me full circle through the shadows into the light, into the shadows, into the light……………..Bringing me home…………into the light.

I wrote that 18 months ago and this is the first time I’ve looked at it for over a year. While I am still very much in the process of embracing that fullness of which I speak, I think I can safely say that I have followed the path laid out in the words I wrote then.

There is once again a dis-ease in my belly, sure sign that more is shifting, more of that which masks my brightness, the dance between the shadow and the light which seems eternal. So I welcome too the discomfort, for it is as much a part of the process as the brimming joy.

My cup truly doth runneth over and my soul doth rejoice at this homecoming, to be here in this place which nourishes me and encourages me to shine in all my glory! Oh thank you Kind Spirits that have drawn me here, and thank you Mother Gaia for always supporting me wherever I am, I am blessed, I am blessed, I am blessed.

Blissings and love to all of life!

Embracing life to the Full!

Embracing life to the Full!

I Begin!

I have always been a fan of Alice in Wonderland, popping down the rabbit hole has been a habit of mine for years now and it’s an exciting and sometimes confronting journey. Like Alice I try to believe six impossible things before breakfast, and in what we now know to be a quantum universe this is starting to look like a practical description of reality.

Not that I pretend to fully understand the science behind it, but even I can see that science and the mystic wisdom of the ages are finally meeting. We have entered the vortex and are passing through into a new earth, a new humanity. What it will be like beyond the vortex I do not know but that it will be marvellous I feel quite sure. Optimism seems the best way forward, optimism powered by the energy of love which, as it turns out, really does make the world go round. The Beatles were right and Wall Street has definitely got it very wrong.

Love is all you need, but I don’t mean the kind of love you’ll find in romantic novels, where the corseted women swoon and the charming, dastardly rogue turns out to have a heart of gold and be good husband material. Oh no, we’re living in a culture that has done it’s best to create order with rigid rules about who’s supposed to love who and look at the mess we’ve created!

It’s time to clean up our mess and having the freedom to be who we are in our fullness must be a part of that. Learning how to be in my fullness is what my healing journey is all about and I hope this may provide reflections, like sunlight upon a many faceted crystal. Reflections that may find answering echoes in the souls of my fellow explorers as we embark on the most exciting journey of all, discovery of self!


Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland

Down the rabbit hole!

Down the rabbit hole!