Tag Archives: heart

Bless Your Triggers: They Will Help You To Grow!

smiley face daisyOnce again I am going back to the past, this time over a year ago to a post I wrote about triggers on February 28 2013, it was a turbulent year in terms of stuff coming up and it helped me to grow and evolve very quickly indeed. The particular trigger who was in my thoughts when I wrote this turned out to be highly manipulative and knew exactly what he was doing, in spite of that I bless him for all the deep trauma he helped me to uncover and to let go of, allowing me to become the happy and fulfilled person I am today! The title was “Point Your Trigger To My Heart”, particularly catchy I thought but only one photo in the whole post so I have added a few, nice to see how I’ve evolved over time.

I’d like to have a bit of a yarn about triggers, not the kind that help you to blow your brains out when attached to a gun, the ones that help you get your stuff moving. They tend to be the people you care about, or hate, the ones that annoy you on a regular basis, and of course when desire is involved stuff tends to come flying up from every which way!

exploding with stuff

The important thing to remember about triggers, is that most of the time the reaction you are experiencing is way out of proportion to what has actually occurred. In fact a lot of the time they have nothing to do with the feelings that are coursing through you, but the temptation to point the finger of blame and to project is very powerful. Not only are you dumping on an innocent, you are missing out on the opportunity to take responsiblity for your own feelings and let go of old patterns that are no longer serving you.

I’m the first to admit that I tend to go a bit unconscious when something nasty is moving through, but it doesn’t take me too long these days to realise what’s going on. If the situation seems to show my unwitting trigger in a bad light, I immediately cease any and all speculation about what was actually going on. After all, if it’s my own stuff coming up, then it’s inside my inner world that I will find any answers. And once I understand what my feelings are connected to, the situation that set it all off generally makes a great deal of sense, and I offer a prayer of gratitude and blessings to the one who has helped me into this space of greater clarity.

Now I’m not excusing bad behaviour here, if someone is rude or unkind or unfair, you have every right to respond in an appropriate fashion. There are people who have to be separated from the rest of the community because they are dangerous. But as Kabir said, “Do what you do with another human being, but never put them out of your heart.” When you harden your heart against another,  you hurt yourself as much as the other person, choose to be in your loving heart and you have instant protection. And the response you make is much more likely to be non-judgemental and appropriate to the situation.

Wherever I ramble it is always my heart that I come back to, in that still space full of love and acceptance, I feel welcomed and held. In these uncertain times when our inner beings are being flung around in the storms within, the heart is our safe refuge, the port that I call home.

lovegun

 

Harvest Time: Opening Deeper All The Time.

The LoversHere is a post that I wrote on December 4 last year, I was scrolling back through when this one caught my eye and at the risk of being a bit mushy, I smiled at what I wrote just days after my Beloved and I came together for the first time. So here it is from the perspective of almost eight months later and it keeps getting better and that kundalini energy is still surging with plenty of zest! Looking forward to seeing my darling tomorrow night after four days apart!

Energy rises through the column of space and time that is me in this particular place known as planet Earth, it coils with sensuous grace as my kundalini bursts forth, the final shackles thrown away as I dance out of prison into the light. Luscious thoughts snaking through a mind that cannot seem to hold on to a worry or a doubt, letting the fresh breeze of my new beginning blow away anything that will not serve in this Golden New Age of love and prosperity.

heartchakravenus

Heart opens and opens, sending a delicious thrill to the nipples who are singing a song of creativity and flow, of surrender to the force of life and a spiral upwards into the pure space of inspiration. Tender distraction tugs at a mind doing its best to stay focused on the everyday, luring my thoughts into memory of touch and sound, of vibrating cells and a magical time out of time, a place you never really want to leave. So the trick then is to somehow stay there even as life pulls you into  its stream, bringing with you the sense of joy and discovery, of playfulness and love.

cuteangel

Time to merge everything into the wholeness that is where it all began, a circle that circles within a circle, drawing our spirits into the centre of the heart, the place where transformation is a daily event. That fire will purify even the darkest of thoughts and actions and give wings to the angels who have lost their way, halos knocked askew as they go searching for the meaning to an ever-changing life. Fly with good intention and the winds of desire will always lift you up into a place where you will see the whole shebang from the perspective of an eagle, with clarity too.

Harvest Time.

Simply Be: Let Gaia Be Your Guide!

sacred sensual fireFlickering flames caressing the mysterious and ever-changing shape, from a burning ship with the intergalactic council on board, to a mountain with eyes that pop as he receives people’s questions. A circle of fire full of magic and life force, a sacred space for me to fall into on an ever spiraling journey through the ins and the outs of inter-dimensional, trans-galactic travel! When I relax into being my entire organic self in this body now I can experience the most exquisite pleasure in the simplest of things, from vacuuming to making love.

sacred fire dancer

Letting go of the need to be anyone or to do anything, connecting with the part of me that is beyond personality or particular quirks, the essential light that is Who I Be. Knowing that there is a balance that I am seeking in all of this, a way of remembering that I am a part of all things in vivid colour, without blowing my mind. Finding the paths that can help me to navigate these strange future spaces that are beckoning, feeling my way into a new way of being in the world, of being in relationship, of being in life.

psychedelic4

The path can be a little confusing at times, that moment when you let go of control is liberating as you acknowledge that there is intelligence in Gaia that will help you to always know where to put the next step as you walk into a new dawning of life. I need know nothing but that I am safe and warm and my heart is beating strong, the soup is being served and the fire burns away merrily before my upturned feet.

Life is good!

 

 

 

Love Thy Enemies And Save The World.

swanloveheartSend your enemies love, the people who knock you out of your heart are the ones we need to love the most! Really truly, that’s my nefarious plan, to create so much love in the world that people will have no choice but to recognise that they are all interconnected and might as well get along. So if you do try out that simple practice of loving everyone you are actually contributing to the cause of world peace, who knows you may even get a Nobel prize one day.

As I am writing this I have to recognise that I am offering this up to you my readers, not just in the spirit of sharing it with your good selves, but also as a timely reminder to myself. In the last little while I have managed to live up to this lofty purpose for the most part but I am human and so there are times when I get triggered and don’t handle it well. Practicing love with EVERYONE will be very uplifting especially if added to the already sweet taste of soul mate bliss. Ok so that is starting to sound a bit chocolate box isn’t it? But that’s how it is, I didn’t really feel like writing a post, would much rather be lying around gazing into my lover’s eyes.

eye gazing heart

But I couldn’t desert this tale of inner journeys and sensual delight, dastardly doings and love’s gentle bliss, the stillness of nature, on a star I do wish! And my reward today is to find fresh intention in assisting the world to become a happier place, one bit of consciousness at a time……………..

So be it, so be it, so be it.

 

The Face Of The Divine Is You.

RainyDaysIngredients for staying in bed for far longer than one is supposed to, touch of autumn chill in the air, so cosy under the sheets! Cat snuggled into my bum and the backs of my knees as I lie in a foetal position, thoughts of my beloved drifting into my awareness as I listen to the gentle rain falling outside and allow myself to simply be. Yoga does tempt me but here you find me still partly snuggled under the sheets and cotton blanket with the cat curled up between my legs, computer on my lap, writing to you.

This is the cat I was referring to, a visitor to the house.

This is the cat I was referring to, a visitor to the house.

And now I know what I came here to write, something I have been thinking about sharing with you, a letter I wrote to my Beloved.

Dear Lover,

I treasure your tender loving gaze, your upturned mouth with soft lips tempting me to taste this beautiful bounty that is you. I trust you utterly at depth, I always feel perfectly safe when I am with you, allowing me to open more deeply then I have ever known. You open me to divinity, to the timeless essence that is existence, that cannot be bound for it is boundless. I am you and you are me, together we connect in the energies of love, the ecstatic dance of the polarities.

Love pours out from every cell and when I truly connect with that vibration there is no distance between us, even when we are apart. I love you and always will, looking forward to our shared future as cosmic micronaughts!

Thank you Mother for bringing us together, and to Ganesh for the removal of obstacles.

Your Lover (The Woman who adores you!)

passionate embrace

I never did finish “Dear Lover” by David Deida, so I bought a copy for myself from the Book Depository, it’s the kind of book I think is best read a little at a time. My letter above is not unlike what David Deida writes in his book, it may not be for everyone but I really like the way that he describes being in a relationship. As a spiritual practice it becomes your therapy and everything becomes heightened as you let go of heaviness and shadow amidst great and intense pleasure, light shining everywhere.

Light, delight, and beauty, nature in all her moods and the flow of fun, faeries and moon dust, the Goddess and her consort, true love in my heart, we are all one.

From Uneasy Belly To Joy…And Back Again.

The view from my seat.

The view from my seat.

I look for ways of taking myself out into the world while still doing all the things that need to happen for life to be supported. It’s better right now to be away from home where possible and that is having a rather delightful effect. I’m doing things such as writing this post out in my community, on a bench at the back of the library overlooking the creek at this very moment!

I can hear the kids at the playground and the cars passing through the roundabout on a busy saturday afternoon. My town is a bustling hub and it’s nice to be out of it in a peaceful fairly solitary place, but still in earshot. It’s warm with a touch of coolness in the air, fluffy white clouds in a deep autumn blue sky, perfect weather in fact so I’m truly glad to be out in it.

autumn clouds maleny

Life is good and so very worth celebrating anytime really, you can always find something to be grateful for. I’m grateful for where I live and for the gorgeous friends who provide such a wondrous support network, satisfying so many levels of my being. Even so, when I have to be away from my Beloved for as long as four days! Well thank the Goddess for the love that I receive in my community, the stimulation to my mind, heart and soul.

Big Rainbow

 

And any discomfort that I may feel from wherever it may come, is only ever temporary. I go from heart and soul brimming over with joy and love to uneasy belly, and then back again. So remembering to breathe and to connect with Mother Earth for grounding, I allow myself to be with whatever feelings are moving and I sigh, as I let go………..into infinity and peace.

Shanti, shanti, shanti………peace, peace, peace.

A Life Fragrant With Gratitude: Be In Your Heart.

hearttreeApologies to those reading my posts at the moment, they have suddenly lost their format and the lovely picture of me toning my name seems to have completely disappeared! I don’t have time to do more than write my post so will have to hope that someone somewhere is frantically working to fix the sorry mess and that I will come back to my beautiful creation to find it is in harmony again. (Seems like it is now sorted and it was only going wonky at my end!)  Thinking of what I am grateful for helps to bring me back into my heart, the best place to be no matter what is going on around me.

PinkOshoFlowerPoem

Gratefulness in the character is like fragrance in the flower. 

A person however learned and qualified in his life’s work, in
whom gratefulness is absent, is devoid of that beauty of character
which makes the personality fragrant.

If we answer every little deed of kindness with appreciation,
we develop in our nature the spirit of gratefulness; and by
learning this we rise to that state where we begin to realize
God’s goodness toward us, and for this we can never be grateful
enough to His/Her divine compassion.

The great Sufi poet Sa’di teaches gratefulness as being the means
of attracting that favour, forgiveness, and mercy of God upon us
in which is the salvation of our soul.  

There is much in life that we can be grateful for, in spite of all the
difficulties and troubles of life.  Sa’di says, “The sun and moon,
and the rain and clouds, all are busy to prepare your food for you,
and it is unfair indeed if you do not appreciate it in thanksgiving.”

God’s goodness is something one cannot learn to know at once; it
takes time to understand it.  But little actions of kindness which we
receive from those around us we can know, and we can be thankful
if we want to be.  In this way man develops gratefulness in his nature,
and expresses it in his thought, speech, and action as an exquisite

form of beauty.

~ Inayat Khan

Heart Pop

And perhaps the magic of gratitude will help to smooth the path as I feel the movement of ancient fears, they sit in my heart in this moment and the trick is to let them keep moving, sit with the feeling. I have made moves to find a time to do my next therapy session, possibly tomorrow and my body is beginning to respond to my intention. Anyway, it’s all good, life is a grand opportunity for a rich array of beingness to be inhaled and explored, the oneness from which we all come!

Yearning Is The Key To Love.

consciouslove“Your yearning for love is so powerful that I can feel your heart all the time. When you openly love me I can feel your heart, but I can also feel your heart’s yearning when you are angry or sad. To me your heart is always calling even though sometimes I am unable to open with you because your emotions divert me. I may be afraid or distracted and you may be upset, but  still I feel your heart’s yearning. And I need to feel your heart. Your yearning draws me back into love’s depth.  Your yearning is my invitation into your heart.”

Dear Lover, David Deida, Sounds True, Boulder CO, 2005, p 11.

I think I am beginning to truly understand the power that a woman has in love-making when she stays in her heart and radiates lots of yummy energy. And actually it isn’t just when you are connecting with each other sexually that this process can be happening, just as David Deida says in the above quote, your man needs to feel your heart. Be in that place all the time, when you are washing dishes or taking out the rubbish, if times are tough you will navigate them better when you stay in your heart.

Heart-Light

“Deep heart yearning is not a problem to be solved, but a divine pull to open as devotional surrender, as wide as all, now. With or without a man, whether or not you feel worthy, you can offer your heart’s openness  through your yearning, right now, as you are.”

David Deida, p 12.

For me this quote sums up in many ways my entire spiritual path, particularly since I embarked on shamanic techniques, ceremony, sound, dance, psychedelics, bodywork and breath work, for the last 13 years. For ten years I took myself on many journeys that all ultimately led to the same place, my own heart, loving myself. In my wonderful home I have re-built the last part of my self-esteem and let go of much of my old patterning in relationship.

heartchakravenus

Now I am doing it with my man and while the new beginning, the dawning chapter of my opening is a little daunting at times, still we navigate it with good communication and a lot of love. My breasts and in particular the nipples are doorways to expand the heart that open up the channels so that sexual energy can flow, this feels good and can enhance your well-being at any time of the day or night! There are many resources out there my sisters and loving men if you want to find out more about this phenomenon, Diana Richardson’s  Tantric Orgasm for women is a wonderful book that talks about this.

But the best research is experiential so go to it my friends, for men on their own the recipe may vary but there is great information out there for all beings wanting to fully express their life energy in the world. Don’t settle for anything less, the path may seem a bit rocky at times but always worth it and never boring, the further I go along the path of the heart the more it becomes an ecstatic journey anyway.

transparent-bodies-moving1

Until further notice celebrate everything! From Saint Germain through Azena Ramada.

I Laughed So Hard I Wet Myself!

bumpy roadI almost decided to take a holiday on this post but my over conscientious  and obsessive nature won’t let me let you down. So here I am trying to make sense as I am being driven along a sometimes bumpy road by my Beloved, as we embark on day three of some much-needed time off. Ahhhh………..at last the freeway is offering a smoother passage………so what do I have to share with you today?

Well the first thing that comes to mind s that laughter is the best medicine of all, helpless laughter over the silliest things and I feel like a child. A child in the best sense of the word, present and open to whatever life may bring to me and full of wonder and joy at the gifts that I already enjoy in such bountiful helpings. Laughing so hard I actually pee myself, embarrassing but true, you see how much trust I’ve developed in life! Well, would you admit to the world that you wet your pants!!

Joy-and-Happiness

My heart, mind and soul feel incredibly open as I continue to move into this amazing new chapter of my life, my spirit dances and my intuition sings. The mind does its best to keep up with the larger me but this morning its feeling a little overwhelmed and struggling to be coherent, much less entertaining or profound.

AN INTERMISSION WHILE WE WALK THE CITY STREETS SEEKING A GOWN TO ADORN GALADRIEL FOR MY FABULOUS 50TH BIRTHDAY PARTY, FOR THE UNINITIATED THAT’S A LORD OF THE RINGS THING. GALADRIEL IS RATHER SERIOUS IN THE FILM SO I’M GOING TO BE HER TEENAGE WILD CHILD SELF, THE PERIOD IN HER LIFE WHEN THE FIRE IN HER BELLY MATCHED THE HAIR ON HER HEAD!

Here's Galadriel being all serious!

Here’s Galadriel being all serious!

I’m back and writing as we drive along, this is the first time I’ve walked city streets for a whole year and it was a tad overwhelming. Since moving to the country I am much more sensitive, it’s less about all the buildings and cars and traffic lights and more to do with the thronging energies of people and devices milling about in a sea of chaos.

If you want to develop your sensitivity and still live in an urban environment then I suggest you consider carefully what kinds of practices might support you in remaining open without becoming overcome by the sheer  volume of energetic traffic. Meditation is always helpful and there are as many ways of doing it as there are people. Any activity where you are firmly ensconced in your heart will give you protection and help you to perceive the beauty of life in whatever environment you are in.

The analogy for that state of consciousness that the American Indians call “Beauty’s Way”, is being in love. It’s a pretty nice way of going there but luckily it isn’t the only doorway, I’m driving the Love Bug quite blissfully at the moment but it is by no means the first time that I’ve travelled that particular inner landscape. I’ve found it through friendships, dance, yoga and meditation, I always joke about toning being my favourite way of getting ‘bent’, I’m sure there are endorphins that get triggered when we are doing things that we love that bring us into openness and joy.

Can you imagine a world full of open-hearted, joyful folk, all expressing their uniqueness in the world and creating a global community of co-operation and mutual care? I can, and the more of us that hold this vision in our heart space, the more likely we are to get there!

Shanti, shanti, shanti………peace, peace, peace.

The Light Of Love Shatters The Past.

Phoenix_RisingHeld in the light of love I long to drown in that sweet ocean, to let go of everyday cares and to simply be the hunger that rises in me like the legendary serpent nestling at the base of my spine. Energy moves in answer to my thoughts and sensation sings through this physical creation as pure bliss releases the old patterns, blinding white light scours out the ancient scars that feed upon current circumstance. Intense pleasure shatters the dark structures that have held such fear and misery, until only the light remains, a rebirth into new life as the phoenix rises from the ashes in all her glory!

Follow your bliss was a thought that once was so alien even as I knew the truth of it, like a stubborn fool I stuck to the path of the heart even as my very foundations were ripped out and set on fire. The fool that I was understood that to let go of all the stuff that did not hold me dear would not be possible without first tearing down the tower of old beliefs. The demolition crew with their triggers and jack hammers came marching in wearing the faces of those I have loved, those that I have feared, the teachers that were obstacles on my road, paving the way to enlightenment and joy.

flameoflove

But to enter into that ecstatic place I first had to sit with that which gave rise to pain, to doubts and fears, the guilt that ate away my sense of self until only a shell remained. And a strongly burning heart space that knew its own divinity even as it became lost in the dust of the construction site, don’t forget to wear your hard hat, you never know what’s going to drop out of the sky! Dropping the old stories along with the armour the rebuilding can begin, and here patience has been much-needed as one piece after another is carefully fitted together.

bodylandscape

At last I am whole! More or less, more than enough to be getting on with and best of all, willing and able to receive the maximum amount of pleasure that this body can handle. And it can handle quite a bit, if you are ever in the space of not surrendering to absolute pleasure in a safe environment you might want to look at what the sensation is bringing up for you. Yet another golden opportunity to let go of stuff you don’t need, and with bliss leading the way the future can only be bright and sunny!

Hooray!!!!!!!

Enjoy this beautiful love song, my current favourite from Deva Premal and Miten: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZL8m_wj1li8