Life continues to be interesting, not crisis exactly but with that frisson of opportunity and danger. Sometimes a blessing and at times a seeming curse my sensitivity helps me navigate through the energetic currents even as it means feeling more deeply. That might be a bit scary at first especially if you aren’t used to it and even when you let go of the fear you are sometimes left with pure discomfort. Something that can be endured in a spirit of clearing, as strong energies are triggered and then move through my system in a variety of ways. Being sick with the flu for three weeks for example and then as that moves off my bladder issues suddenly flare up. Guess I am still playing host to a colony of resistant E-Coli bacteria, at least I know what to do now and it doesn’t involve antibiotics.
There are moments when you wonder what it’s all for but luckily there are also many moments when I know exactly what is so good about being alive in this moment of time that I am existing in. I have found a solid foundation of being happy and content in my life even when there are other more difficult energies moving towards transformation. Through the constant sea of change I always have my Beloved, a relationship that is constantly growing and changing and becoming deeper. I call my Beloved my rock even though he is not always stable, neither am I for that matter but when you make cracks it is possible to go deeper. I particularly like the bits where progress and understanding comes through experiencing bliss through pleasure in love.
Love is the sea I like to swim in most of all, whether it be in love-making, dance and connecting with other beautiful people. Love is all you need, aho!
My Beloved weighs fifteen kilos less than I do, a skinny little runt who must have hollow legs because he certainly doesn’t eat any less! To my fond eyes he is the perfect size but there is a part of me that can’t help feeling a bit envious at his ability to eat everything in sight without seeming consequence. Of course the trick is always to find the best diet for your particular body type and if there are two of you then a certain amount of compromise is probably required.
It’s the age-old question for those of us women who don’t quite fit the ideal laid out in the current cultural archetypes, is it about health or how you think you should look? Health has been the paramount question for me but lately indulgence has been a bit of a byword and that can definitely go too far at times. The thing is when you improve your diet you do become more sensitive, no matter how often I notice this in my response to food I still seem to need reminders.
At the end of the day I want to be happy more than anything else, pretty much the way I am right now except that I’ve noticed it keeps getting better. That’s all pleasure by the way, our capacity for opening to this kind of energy I do believe is infinite. Follow your bliss sounds shallow but it can actually be fairly deep, and if you truly relax and surrender you can go beyond whatever ‘stuff’ you may have picked up along the way. RELAX and enjoy the journey, the one thing you can be sure of is change so try and get comfortable in the flow of life. RESPONSIBILITY is being able to respond to the shifts and changes that inevitably are a part of following our flow, it can be FUN too!
So I think I will be fairly relaxed with my food, just watch the sugar thing and try to have a few green smoothies every week. Relaxation is a bit underrated as a quality but I think it is the key to so many of the ways in which to move into new ways of being in the world. So I will continue to spend lots of time with my Beloved, that’s always relaxing whatever we’re doing! And we are going to the joining gathering very soon to present our first workshop together, very exciting!
Remember to have fun!
Since I began tuning into my moon flow and seeing how it empowers me, I’ve grown fonder and fonder of that time of the month. I will miss it when it is gone, but in the meantime I can continue to go deeper into myself at those times and allow the increased sensitivity to help me to see more and more of who I am. It does change the way I respond to things and so it is really important to communicate to my partner how I am feeling, amazing when I think how in the past such a simple act as knowing what I felt and being able to tell someone seemed so bloody complicated!
It can still be challenging, you may need to take a deep breath but open and honest communication is I believe a key ingredient in a successful relationship. If you can’t go home and relax into being completely who you are then opportunities to be yourself may be hard to come by in a busy lifestyle. I needed to do a lot of inner work before I could be that honest, I had to learn to not only like myself, but to love who I was. Considering some of the negative thoughts that were kicking around in my consciousness it is amazing that I didn’t just spontaneously combust and spare everyone the pain of my presence on the planet.
Fortunately I am very bloody minded and I just kept plugging away, letting go of all that dark energy that was hiding my light, the bushel was of my own making that’s for sure! Time for us all to come out from behind our particular barrier and to step into a larger self, a future human in fact! It’s more fun even when things are hard, maybe because you are becoming more aligned to the flow of energies, more aware of the interconnected nature of our existence.