Tag Archives: integrity

Let The Grief Go.

Even before I began my conscious shamanic journey, I was beginning to develop that larger part of self, through tarot readings, automatic writing, and an instinctive urge to express long suppressed feelings. I had no idea what I was doing, but I followed my intuition and flowed into the places that it took me to. I wrote poetry to express what I was feeling, and that really came in handy when Ayrton Senna was killed in front of my eyes on a race track in Italy in 1994.

Ayrton Senna.

Ayrton Senna.

I had been obsessed with him, and I was totally grief stricken for weeks afterwards, I cried and cried and wrote many poems to express the intensity of my feelings. At the time I was focused on the loss of this man who had been a kind of role model for me, I was certainly attracted to him but it was his passionate determination to be himself no matter what anyone else thought, and his integrity that truly inspired me. I know now that while I was genuinely grieving for Ayrton, along with thousands of people around the globe, I was also releasing grief for my father.

Malidoma Patrice Some.

Malidoma Patrice Some.

This concept is well understood in the village that Malidoma Some comes from, he describes a ritual where the immediate family has carers to keep them from harm, so that they can completely let go in their grief. The entire community participates, and there is an understanding that this is an opportunity to release any feelings that people may be holding on to from the past. What a refreshing view of the healing power of strong emotions expressed in the moment, how much would our constipated, uptight, overly structured and regulated society benefit from such practices!

malidomasomebook

Malidoma Some is an African shaman who brings the knowledge of his people to the Western culture, he is a bridge between the worlds, read his book “Of Water And The Spirit”, you won’t be able to put it down.

And even if you are not into car racing you will love this documentary about Ayrton Senna, my mum loved it and she hates sport!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFzx2PnBhYc

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From Twilight To Joy!

The twilight world hath beckoned me in from the bright sunlight realms where I am wont to spend my time, it reminds me that wherever there is light, there will also be shadow. You cannot have the one without the other, to deny any part of this design is to deny it all, and so I surrender to my own darkness, even as I set the boundaries firm against incursions from without. For I am sovereign in my own inner space, none may come here save that they be invited.

heartsoft

I am soft and my heart is boundless, I look inside the self that I be and I become lost in the great distances that I find there. It’s like a great cavern that goes on forever, full of treasures, some well-known and others waiting to be discovered. How could I ever be lost or feel small when there is such bounty within? This is perhaps the greatest mystery of human kind, that we should look so intently outside of ourselves, for the fulfillment that lies in quite the opposite direction.

heart_of_oneness

Righteous anger gives me the strength to do the tasks that have been appointed to me, even as compassion keeps me in my heart, there are some kinds of darkness that must be dealt with, so that the integrity of the world may be restored. I do not judge, nor am I the executioner, at the end of the day I hand over to a higher power and then it is no business of mine.

I am weary, but this will pass, and I will rise even stronger for the travails that I have passed through. And always there is joy, beneath all the rest, love and joy and bliss are running always, inviting me to come and play, to dance and sing in the sun’s brightest ray!

Here is a beautiful meditation from the Archangel Michael through Annette Sassou, also known as Asara, it is an activation for the third eye: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqbaMetiFbg

If you like this check out http://www.teloschannel.com/ for other meditations and talks.

The Dancing Queen.

Uneasy belly ended up as gentle anticipation and an intuitive sense of the night ahead without really knowing much of the details, a general shape of a fun flowing evening with dancing included. Then it evolved from the dance to karaoke, I sang Dancing Queen into the microphone and it was heaps of fun, I do love Abba!! My Medicine Woman is delighted that I am having such a lot of fun, I’m being very obeyful, this is the way to be an attractor, I can feel it already and have seen it around me in the number of men I seem to be hanging out with these days.

Have a look at this clip of Dancing Queen, they are so young and so talented and so beautiful!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFrGuyw1V8s

Abba.

Abba.

I am getting comfortable with masculine energy around me but most importantly I am getting so much more chilled in my own skin, whichever part of me needs to be in action will bring the other into right balance. I am very happy being me, I like myself, I do things for me that will nourish and nurture me on every level of my being. Next week I am having my first ever pedicure, a deluxe! Also a massage and I will do at least one of not two of some other classes while my teacher is away, you can never have too much yoga!

Ah life is good, my culinary highlight almost every day is my big green vitamin pill, my green smoothie every morning, can feel the life force going in as I drink it in. Of course I enjoy all the food I eat and I have learned to love feeding others, putting love into the food. When I settle down I want a walk in wardrobe, a good dining table and a big screen tv which gets covered up when not in use. There will be regular dinner parties and movie nights, it will be sooooo much fun!

rediscoverrawfood.blogspot.com

rediscoverrawfood.blogspot.com

And of course great music, I live in a bit of a heartland for that sort of thing, so much going on and incredible quality of entertainment, the fundraiser for the Greens was awesome, go the Greens in the next election, we need some integrity out there.

The Raging Phoenix.

Red hot I release my anger, coming fast upon the tears that open the gateways to even deeper parts of self, letting go of restraint with no one to hear or to judge, I call upon Kali in her destructive face to cut away that which is not in integrity. When all the lies are stripped away she turns her creative face upon me, and together we shall shape a new kind of world, one in which that which is not true to itself can not hold its form.

Oh what judgement lies here, ’tis not to be seen in the wider world, simply released and thereby to become free. When emotions come up that are not considered to be ok, anger, jealousy, resentment, so often we push them back down again because they are not ‘socially acceptable’. Even when we are in our own space with no one to see, our private audience of critics watch carefully to make sure that we do not cross the line of what is permissible.

Oh Goddess, let me be in my fullness as a wild woman, let me be true to myself and my emotional realms no matter where they may take me. Help me to let go of all that has been held in readiness, for that moment of courage, when the speaking of truth became more urgent than the fears that held it back from that place of strength and power. I am a whole being full of light, I do not depend upon another to radiate that light into the world.

The purifying force of anger and rage, the cleansing waters of deepest grief, wash away my fears, bring illumination to my mind, my body and my soul. Let me be reborn from the ashes, like the phoenix glowing in a golden haze, like the soul on its journey through the eons.

Phoenix_Rising

Blessed be, blessed be…………….may the show go on, and remember always that it is, in the end, just another story……….feel free to do a rewrite at any time!