Tag Archives: intuition

Weaving The Threads At Woodford: A Unique Experience!

Photo by me!

Photo by me!

When you’re at a festival that goes for six days and offers just about every kind of music you could think of, multiple stages with workshops covering politics, environment, body, mind, and spirit, dance and song, it just isn’t possible to see everything you’re interested in. I got a pretty good system going with my highlighter pen but you have to leave room for unexpected surprises too and keep your ear to the ground to hear what other people have been discovering.

It took me the first three days to really sink down through the layers and truly inhabit the state of consciousness that is the Woodford Folk Festival, I will do my best to convey something of what that means but in the end you probably need to come and have the experience for yourself to truly ‘get’ it. I saw it as all these different threads where each person takes the parts that they are drawn to and weaves their own unique and magical experience, letting your intuition guide you is a sure way of being in the flow and that’s how I found the impressive singer songwriter from Canada, Mo Kenney.

Mo Kenney.

Mo Kenney.

She is an androgynous figure, very quietly spoken but with a huge stage presence and a very dry sense of humour, since looking her up online I’ve discovered she is only 23 years old, makes her even more impressive! I’m sure I wasn’t anywhere as mature as that at the same age but then I can probably be safely classed as a late bloomer, better late than never I say! The first time I saw her she finished her set with a David Bowie song I hadn’t heard in years, “Five Years”, what a fantastic version of an awesome song, Bowie would love it I’m sure.

Here is the song in question as well as one of her own, hope you enjoy them as much as I did! “Five Years”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFAytrmxghs and “Sucker”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZfDKeYjct8

Summer Solstice Heat: Rebirth Into Love.

fall_harvestAs I began to seek inspiration for my Solstice Toning Circle I noticed a feeling of familiarity that was arising within me at the themes and symbols associated with this event. The sun firing up our passions, desires and sensuality, awakening of consciousness, the colours red, yellow and orange, and the celebration of a bountiful harvest!

rawfood

It began with a session I had of Zen Shiatsu and the guidance I received which matched my intuition completely, I’d been attracted to foods I don’t normally eat so much, like potato and bread, gorgeous organic pies with tomato sauce. Comfort food, and food that has a warming effect on the body according to Chinese Medicine, I also hadn’t felt much like salad which is highly unusual for me and that of course is cold for the body.

Seems I was depleted in my spleen and I certainly had no energy that day, I was so low I could have cried, I thanked myself heartily for having the sense to book this session for myself three weeks previously. I’ve followed the guidance and it feels a bit disconcerting to be eating so differently, fears around getting fat come up a bit but it all seems to be staying balanced so far and I have my energy back.

sourceofpassion

Of course being in love also helps the energy levels, you can go with little sleep for a few days buoyed up on the excitement and thrill of being in that space. Which is the other parallel for me in the Solstice themes, after a long period of abstinence I am full of passion and desire as I explore the awakening of consciousness that can come through approaching relationship as a spiritual practice.

I am overflowing with the heat of summer, that matches the heat of my body, my spirit and my soul, my blood burns like hot lava bursting from the rich moist earth, volcanic eruptions and gentle stirrings of trust reborn.

A Rebirth into love……………..ohm shanti, shanti, shanti………….

And just for a bit of summer silliness here is Madness singing “It Must Be Love” from 1981: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmezIIrFQmY

Woe Is Me.

Letting go is a theme that crops up in my healing process over and over again, let’s face it, it is a constant in life whether you are particularly focused on your evolution or not. You can go into denial and hold on for dear life but sooner or later there are going to be things going on that you cannot control and so you really do have to surrender, even if you are dragged kicking and screaming all the way!

Kerry Laizans Photo by Antara May.

Kerry Laizans
Photo by Antara May.

I am thinking of my experience last week when I came home from a night out feeling light and happy, finished the night off with some dancing to good music which is always a good recipe for me. I decided that I would write my post for the next day while I was in such a good mood, not such a great move after all but I wasn’t to know. My laptop was not behaving itself and what should have been a quick whip through my emails took forever, it was quite late by the time I finally started to write my post.

And then the magic happened, poetic prose came spilling out of me and I had one of those wonderful journeys where I had no idea where I was going until I got there, and felt awed at the result, possibly one of the best things I have ever written. You’re probably wondering which post this was, well you only got to see half of this seminal piece, the computer was still misbehaving but I ignored my intuition which told me to abandon ship and go back to good old pen and paper.  You know where this is leading don’t you, yes I ended up losing half the post and no matter how I tried, I could not find those words again, they were completely in the moment and my left brain had nothing to do with it so it really couldn’t help me out.

memory_loss

It was soooooo hard to let go of it, I ended up staying up far too late in a fruitless attempt to somehow change what had happened or to find that magic flow again. And as I lay in bed I had to use every breathing and relaxation trick in the book to get myself to relax, in the end it was breathing in and out through my heart that began to allow me to let go of my tight clutching of what I felt I had lost. And to satisfy your brimming curiosity, it was “Beauty Walks Before Me”: Oct 5 2013, when I completed the post the next day I couldn’t get a good sense of whether it was good or not, it could never match what I had lost!

Anyway, there seem to be a few who liked it and in the end I didn’t have much choice but to let go, it was gone and life goes on……….surrender to what is………..and listen to your intuition.

Streams Of Consciousness.

It’s a lovely feeling to simply open yourself to the free flow of spirit, let the intellect take a holiday, and allow the intuition to guide the creative process. That’s what my last two posts have been like, I have a sense that something is moving in me wanting to be birthed, but as I sit to write I often have absolutely no idea what is coming. It’s a surprise and a pleasure when it all comes together and I read over what has emerged from the void, it comes from me but it is the larger self that understands the big picture who is running the show when I go into that space.

fr0st.wordpress.com

fr0st.wordpress.com

It’s a kind of channelling, in this case poetic but it can also take the form of a conversation with various beings such as guides, I told my story of how I discovered and re-integrated a lost soul fragment of myself in “Dancing In The Moonlight”, July 17 2013 if you would like to read about it. If I am feeling confused about something I often seek clarity or reassurance through automatic writing, different guides of mine come through and give me their advice and thoughts on whatever it is that I am experiencing.

Or if you simply want to get creative and don’t know how to start, sit in front of a blank piece of paper, or the computer I guess but I am old-fashioned when it comes to this sort of writing. Take a moment to centre yourself and let your logical mind step aside, then begin to write and try not to think about what is coming out, let it all spill out in a stream of consciousness until the flow has run out. Then have fun looking at what you’ve done, hopefully you can read your own writing. You can do the same thing with crayons or textas or paint, let the critic go on a tropical holiday and see what your intuition can come up with, you may or may not like the results but with any luck the process has been fun.

breathworkmandala

This is a mandala I drew after a breathwork session back in march, not a great work of art but it carries the energy of that particular healing and I had it on the wall for some time afterwards to remind me. Looks like a cosmic egg cracking open!

You don’t have to be a child have this kind of fun, consider the possibility of having a second childhood and discovering all the dreams that you left behind!

The Writer, That’s Me!

Stepping out of the box, that’s the invitation, I don’t seem to have the time to read “The Art of non-conformity” so maybe I just have to do what my intuition is telling me to. To put myself out there with self-confidence, authenticity, passion, and be ready to receive the potential that flows back to me even if it comes in forms that are unexpected. I made an important shift a couple of days ago, I noticed that when I thought about my writing there was passion and excitement there, but there was also the idea that it took a lot of time and didn’t support me financially. That’s hardly thinking of successful outcomes, there certainly isn’t faith in my vision when I am in the energetic field created by that thought.

radiating brain

So I’ve started describing the time I spend on my writing as work, “I have to go home and work tonight” I said to the girl at the cash register and she looked intensely curious as she asked me what I was working at. I told her I was a writer and it felt good to say it and be witnessed, and I did go home and work on how I was going to get myself out there, as well as write an inspired blog post. Just telling you about it here feels like yet another stage of being witnessed, I can feel my ego getting frightened as I strip away even more of what you are ‘supposed’ to do, and do my best to surrender to what I ‘know’.

watergoddess

Even when knowing, and lived experience don’t seem to be saying the same thing, breathe and surrender, let the larger self be the guide on a journey of opening hearts and letting go………. There are times when we need to allow ourselves to be led by intuition in its purest form, without question, to be in that place truly is why it’s so important to let go of everything that obscures that clear view.

And Animal totems along the way can be our allies on the journey, but that’s another post, until I speak to you again, love and blissings……………

From Zero To Flow.

I am sitting here feeling like an empty canvas waiting for my inspirational muses to descend and to take me on a creative journey………mmmmmmmmm..so where on earth or in heaven have you got to my friends. Ahhhhhh, that’s it, where does the creative spark come from anyway? Whether you are writing or painting or even doing your best to organise an impossible schedule for the week, we all encounter those moments of utter blankness. Anyone who claims otherwise is a terrible liar and probably needs to deal with their deep issues of insecurity and self-esteem!

sharedivinelove.blogspot.com

sharedivinelove.blogspot.com

So here I am in that empty space feeling extremely blank, then all of a sudden the energy sweeps in and I am reminded of a half-formed idea that I was kicking around in the back of my brain. The question is what happened, how did I get from zero to flow in a matter of moments? The first part is to approach whatever it is you are trying to generate ideas about, so sit in front of the empty canvas or page and be present with whatever you are feeling. I felt a sensation in my heart and it was like the emptiness was physically present and expanding inside my body. Somehow from that place a spark of humour emerged and that spark was enough to get the energies moving again.

If you are really stuck then my advice would be to do anything, however ridiculous, whatever your medium let it roll out as a stream of consciousness and don’t feel like you have to make sense out of it. It’s the same principle as a good brain storming session, write down everything that comes up no matter how crazy it might appear, let your judgements step aside for the moment and allow your intuitive brain to run the show. That’s where our true genius lies after all, if it’s a quantum leap you are after that is the place to look for it.

With my inner world being a bit quieter at the moment I might have to test out a few methods for getting that creative flow happening, I will do the experiments and report back to you!

Goodbye Sweetheart.

My yoga class today took me very, very deeply into myself, and by the time I reached savasana at the end I was experiencing a huge shift of energy that was focused on my heart. It felt like sorrow, such sadness and I am not quite sure where I went, I know it took me a long time to come back into myself. I went into town and did the things that I had to do, but only part of me was present, somehow I managed to choose a birthday card for a friend, actually in that space it probably made the choosing easier, I just let my intuition have complete control!

sorrow

When I finally got the chance to sit with the feelings in my own space the grief in my heart was so intense it was as if my heart was wailing in its sorrow. I used the heartfire gateway meditation (My Fiery Heart: 15 Aug 2013) and I saw the sadness as a grey mist swirling around, there was a blue bottle and I began to encourage the mist to enter into the bottle which was sparkling on the outside. The mist seemed endless but eventually it was all in the bottle which I took into the centre of my being. The mist inside began to sparkle and give off a golden light and then it burst out of the bottle and my heart felt open and expanded and free!

I followed that up with the Daily Activation of Light and the energy has completely shifted, there is a bit of uncertainty in my heart but it is excitement with perhaps just a dash of doubt. That was a very quick process! Oh and I forgot to mention, I toned as the sparkling mist shot out of the bottle, the sound really helped in the transformation from sorrow to joy. In fact it was rather like a champagne bottle being opened which I always associate with celebration.

champagneopening

And now as I sit here the knowing of what the grief is about is coming to me, echoes of loss down the eons and through time and space, a soul mate lost, back then and then here again in this life. Some things are simply not meant to be, and it is time to let go of the sadness over this, for every time I make the space, a new joy comes rushing in.

soulmates

So be it, so be it, so be it…………………….

Abundant Me.

The nights with this cold I’ve had were rather interesting, if not what I would describe as particularly pleasant. That’s when the cough would come and make it hard to sleep, I noticed though that after a really deep racking cough there was a sense of expansion and lightness in my chest that actually felt good. I was also aware of a strong vibration going on at a cellular level that indicated a lot of energetic movement, a big shift of some kind. I keep seeing the Tower from the tarot and the Death card, both of these archetypes indicate fundamental change occurring.

tower-tarot-carddeathcard

I guess my trip to Sydney to sort out my stuff was even bigger than I realised, it closes a chapter in my life so there is a kind of death that is happening. In many ways I have been in transition for the last two and a half years even though my focus has been very much on where I have been living. Let’s face it, how often does an old chapter end neatly with the new one following on, there is almost always a bit of back and forthing that goes on.

Now I need to address any completions that need to be done with regards to the old path that is finishing, and probably the hardest part is letting go of the old outmoded ways of being that no longer serve me. The one that is coming up big time for me is abundance and being supported, with a better return on the energy I put out I will be able to do a better job of looking after myself. There are things I could do less of and be happy, but economic necessity is a factor that cannot be ignored and so I do what I have to. But I’m not prepared to compromise on things I know are important for me to do, even though they may not bring in income, and so we arrive at a schedule that becomes overwhelming at times.

Butterfly_release

It’s a biggie but I do finally think that the time has come to properly address this issue, and my intuition has been telling me for the longest time that my writing is the key to this. We shall see what unfolds, I will be calling on all the resources I can find inner and outer to meet this particular challenge, wish me luck as I go!

Coming Out Of The Fog.

What with being sick there hasn’t been a lot of thought process going on in this head of mine, maybe I’m getting better because I’m beginning to have some thoughts on what being sick has been all about. There are layers to this but to start with lets look at the physical body, this is something I’ve been pushing pretty hard even though I do my best to give it good nutrition, exercise and rest. I don’t enjoy being ill, but there has been a part of me that has enjoyed the fact that I haven’t been able to do anything much for the last four days.

I love pretty much everything that I do, but it’s a lot to juggle and only some of it brings in money to support me, which is then challenging in terms of saving up for things like holidays! So there is a fundamental change still on its way, but in the meantime I am determined to continue to refine the way that I support my physical body. My intuition has led me to mucuna pruriens, a medicinal herb that has a huge range of healing properties. If you require empirical evidence then better stop reading now, this is an intuitive journey for me as I feel into what’s right for my body.

Mucuna Pruriens.

Mucuna Pruriens.

The beans.

The beans.

You can hear what David Wolfe says about this herb at the end of this post, the part that got my attention was that it is a natural source of L-dopa which turns into dopamine, a neurotransmitter that buffers us against stress. It can also help to improve eyesight and with my schedule I really don’t have time to do my natural vision improvement exercises. So I found a source on e-bay that feels like it’s the right one for me but the seller is away, I will wait till they come back and then I will embark on a journey with this herb and see where it takes me.

There is some huge movement occurring on spiritual, emotional and psychological levels of my being at this time, and I will be talking about this in future posts. But for now, baby steps as I come out of the fog of illness, with any luck some therapeutic dancing tomorrow night if I am well enough, dance the last of the cold germs out into the night!

In this video, Superfoods Nutritionist David Wolfe passionately explains why he considers Mucuna Pruriens to be one of the most impressive, healing herbs on planet earth.
It is the highest (known) natural source of L-Dopa, which enhances dopamine, which makes us feel stable, happy, and confident. It has healed people from long-term stimulant abuse, repairs poor eyesight, improves hearing, enhances reproduction and hormone balancing in women, along with many other benefits. We only wish we’d heard of it sooner!

Video (5:50)

http://www.nextworldtv.com/page/24235.html

Let The Grief Go.

Even before I began my conscious shamanic journey, I was beginning to develop that larger part of self, through tarot readings, automatic writing, and an instinctive urge to express long suppressed feelings. I had no idea what I was doing, but I followed my intuition and flowed into the places that it took me to. I wrote poetry to express what I was feeling, and that really came in handy when Ayrton Senna was killed in front of my eyes on a race track in Italy in 1994.

Ayrton Senna.

Ayrton Senna.

I had been obsessed with him, and I was totally grief stricken for weeks afterwards, I cried and cried and wrote many poems to express the intensity of my feelings. At the time I was focused on the loss of this man who had been a kind of role model for me, I was certainly attracted to him but it was his passionate determination to be himself no matter what anyone else thought, and his integrity that truly inspired me. I know now that while I was genuinely grieving for Ayrton, along with thousands of people around the globe, I was also releasing grief for my father.

Malidoma Patrice Some.

Malidoma Patrice Some.

This concept is well understood in the village that Malidoma Some comes from, he describes a ritual where the immediate family has carers to keep them from harm, so that they can completely let go in their grief. The entire community participates, and there is an understanding that this is an opportunity to release any feelings that people may be holding on to from the past. What a refreshing view of the healing power of strong emotions expressed in the moment, how much would our constipated, uptight, overly structured and regulated society benefit from such practices!

malidomasomebook

Malidoma Some is an African shaman who brings the knowledge of his people to the Western culture, he is a bridge between the worlds, read his book “Of Water And The Spirit”, you won’t be able to put it down.

And even if you are not into car racing you will love this documentary about Ayrton Senna, my mum loved it and she hates sport!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFzx2PnBhYc