The lesson this week has been all about listening to my body, not necessarily in words but more often in feelings, the felt sense. It can have emotion attached to it but it is what is described as the kinesthetic sense and it is my primary way of receiving information about my world. Because we exist in a culture that tries to describe everything in a so-called rational way the interpretation can be challenging.
So I try to stay with how I am feeling in each moment rather than on creating stories. With an itchy rash and then an intensely painful left shoulder I’ve had to surrender to the feelings and sit with them. My body made it impossible for my week to unfold in the way I had planned and there were things I had to let go of. Somehow I have managed to balance it all and I find myself in a place where all is done and only a gentle ache in my shoulder. I’ve been kind to me even as I practice responsibility, the ability to respond to life’s shifting sands. And in my definition that means a response that is good for me and all life everywhere.
Can I tell you what it’s all been about? Not really, except that really huge energies have been moving through me to be cleared which is very exciting but can sometimes be a tad uncomfortable. It is so worth hanging on and staying with that discomfort, as you clear the old patterns more light can come in and you can see the larger you much more clearly than ever before. More light to share with the world but in particular my Beloved who is away from my side until tonight, three days and nights, oh how I do pine…….. But I also get things done, keeping the balance as best I can in each moment………..
Energy on the move!
Don’t forget to LOVE everyone, even the ones you don’t like very much!
A few posts ago I told the story of how I shifted some deep feelings that had been triggered in my yoga class (Goodbye Sweetheart: 21 Aug 2013), it was on this occasion a fairly quick process. This has not always been the case for me and even now I come up against resistance to letting go of my stuff, it isn’t the brick wall that it used to be but it can still be a challenge to move through. With the sorrow that I described that was in my heart, I did notice that there was a part of me that wanted to hold on to that feeling.
When dealing with unexpressed emotions from the past it is sometimes necessary to wallow a bit in that sea of grief or whatever it is that is coming up for you. Give the feeling its full expression and then let it go, that’s the theory but in practice it isn’t always quite so easy. I’ve known people who work on themselves constantly who become addicted to the process of bringing the feelings up but can never seem to actually release them. It’s as if these feelings and the story that they are attached to is so much a part of who they are, on some level they fear that by letting go they will lose their identity.
So the actual letting go part, how do you do it? As a kinesthetic person I feel it in my body, bring my awareness to wherever it is in my body, usually in the belly or the heart. Then I might breathe or tone into that part of my body, or I might use a visualisation as I did with the sorrow, seeing it as a mist and putting it into a sparkling bottle. Your imagination is an important tool in any kind of inner work, a key ingredient for creating change, Einstein said:
“Your imagination is a preview of life’s coming attractions.”
You do need to be committed (not to an asylum!) and to be prepared to give yourself focused time to drop into the parts of you that lie beneath the surface. I found it easier to create the time for that kind of thing after giving up television which I pretty much stopped watching twelve years ago. Try shifting your perception of what it is to spend time dropping within, don’t see it as work, it can be lots of fun even as it challenges and confronts. And the clarity and energy and joy that emerges the more that you heal that which is incomplete, the ecstasy of feeling whole and connected to all things, it’s better than any tv show I ever saw.
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Tagged addiction, Akhundova Samra, connected, ecstasy, Einstein, energy, fear, feelings, grief, heart, identity, imagination, kinesthetic, perception, resistance, shift, sorrow, stuff, visualisation
In my perfect world I left the festival and discovered that my car battery was flat, an encounter with some Woodfordian Angels provided jumper leads so I could get home. All’s well that ends well? Not entirely, my brake lights won’t go off and although it’s a simple repair my mechanic is away on holiday for another week.
I need to use my imagination to create the outcome that I desire, sounds easy doesn’t it but what do I actually do? Taking the process step by step I start by considering possibilities as indeed I have been doing, I begin to make enquiries and already they have borne fruit as I now have the names of a few mobile mechanics.
Once again I meet the part of myself that creates scarcity, a mobile mechanic is probably going to cost a lot more than just going to my regular guy would, yet it would be a very simple if more expensive solution. There are other ways of solving the problem, I may be able to borrow a car for a week and wait for my mechanic to come back. There are no right or wrong choices here, simply different paths all leading to the desired outcome.
It’s a bit like all the different doorways that lead to the realm of spirit, of unity and of love, no matter which door you take you will end up there. After I finished writing that last sentence I paused, and as I read it again I really felt those words in my body, and a little of the anxiety in my belly was eased. Then I toned for a minute and a little more ease crept in, I almost feel a bit light-headed and I am reminding myself that I always find a way through every situation I encounter, after all I’m still here aren’t I! When I imagine it often comes through my kinesthetic or body sense rather than a visual, hey, whatever works is fine by me!
Just to provide a sequel, I did find a mechanic open for business but ended up going with the mobile mechanic who infused me with confidence when I spoke to him. I went with my gut feeling and I reckon those neurons in my belly are pretty smart!
Smart Belly, not so sure about the brain! Photo by Ulli Hansen.