As I sit here I would love to say that my burning issue has passed as I move beyond the big party and public acknowledgement of becoming 50 years old. There is some relief involved but the deep letting go that has been going on for the last three months continues so I am keeping on with the colloidal silver. But I am sure that being present with my feelings is the best way to heal all of this, on my own and with my Beloved. I do try not to ignore the physical but surely any condition present in the body has an energetic source, which if treated, will dissolve the physical symptoms.
Very soon I will be in a new house sit and there will be time and space for my Beloved and I to bring a strong intention to our loving, for the healing to flow and energy be made available to heal the disharmonious frequency. And perhaps some reiki and massage or toning perhaps, a dance or a breath session even and a bit of random yoga, the possibilities contained within the quantum soup are bottomless. I am determined to heal myself, my intuition says stay away from doctors so if I do feel that professional help would be useful I will be going to see a friend who is alternative and who I trust.
In the meantime I am sitting with this and doing my best to allow the energies to keep moving through me, I’m doing a lot of farting and it isn’t because of lentils this time! Feels like it is a part of what is moving through, very visceral, torture, blood, sweat and tears…………….not surprising that it doesn’t feel very comfortable as it is moving out after a long stay.
Farewell dark energies, go back into the field and be transformed as I let go of my fear and step into the light of my own magnificence! Hooray!!!!!
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Tagged colloidal silver, dance, dark energies, healing intention, intuition, massage, physical symptoms, quantum field, reiki, toning, transformation, yoga
Uneasy belly ended up as gentle anticipation and an intuitive sense of the night ahead without really knowing much of the details, a general shape of a fun flowing evening with dancing included. Then it evolved from the dance to karaoke, I sang Dancing Queen into the microphone and it was heaps of fun, I do love Abba!! My Medicine Woman is delighted that I am having such a lot of fun, I’m being very obeyful, this is the way to be an attractor, I can feel it already and have seen it around me in the number of men I seem to be hanging out with these days.
Have a look at this clip of Dancing Queen, they are so young and so talented and so beautiful!
I am getting comfortable with masculine energy around me but most importantly I am getting so much more chilled in my own skin, whichever part of me needs to be in action will bring the other into right balance. I am very happy being me, I like myself, I do things for me that will nourish and nurture me on every level of my being. Next week I am having my first ever pedicure, a deluxe! Also a massage and I will do at least one of not two of some other classes while my teacher is away, you can never have too much yoga!
Ah life is good, my culinary highlight almost every day is my big green vitamin pill, my green smoothie every morning, can feel the life force going in as I drink it in. Of course I enjoy all the food I eat and I have learned to love feeding others, putting love into the food. When I settle down I want a walk in wardrobe, a good dining table and a big screen tv which gets covered up when not in use. There will be regular dinner parties and movie nights, it will be sooooo much fun!
And of course great music, I live in a bit of a heartland for that sort of thing, so much going on and incredible quality of entertainment, the fundraiser for the Greens was awesome, go the Greens in the next election, we need some integrity out there.
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Tagged Abba, attractor, dancing, flowing, green smoothie, integrity, karaoke, massage, medicine woman, music, The Greens., uneasy belly, yoga
I hardly slept that night, the pain killers only took the edge off and I was pretty much in that place for three days, I don’t know how people manage with chronic pain that goes on for years! I got a lift back to the city and I scared my flat mate when I rang him and asked him to get me the strongest pain killers he could find without a prescription. I never even took aspirin for headaches so he knew something really bad had happened.
I couldn’t afford to take much time off work but I stayed in bed for a week and then somehow I got back into doing my corporate massage jobs. Looking back now I’m not sure how I managed but you do what you have to, certainly I was mindful every moment from this point on, even now I always walk carefully to guard against falling.
The treatments I had didn’t have much impact until I got in to see a man I had to wait two months for, from that moment on the healing began, but it was a slow process. He gave me stretches for my shoulders that I did religiously and advised me to change the way I did my massage. I discovered that I was working harder than I had to, my shoulders felt like they had to do most of the work but when I relaxed them the whole of my upper back could participate. I cut back my effort by about 30% and low and behold, people were just as happy with their massages!
I also did many little stretches through the day, often in the few minutes between clients, and it’s amazing what a difference those few minutes can make. Never think that you don’t have time to stretch if your body really needs it. In the end I was working in a way that was much better for my body, I couldn’t exercise so I improved my diet so I wouldn’t put on weight. I toned every day for my healing and started to hear the most beautiful overtones and harmonics emerging from my voice.
I would never want to go through an experience like that again, but it taught me so much, and inspired such growth in my health and well-being, I look back and I offer blessings and gratitude. Even now as my shoulders are aching from flamenco, even so I can bless that most painful part of my journey. I am stretching my shoulders every day and being very mindful in my dance practice, this body is too precious to me for me to allow myself to go unconscious and allow it to be hurt.
Blissings and gratitude for the obstacles on my path which have been such awesome teachers!
So I guess the cat is out of the bag, I am in search of my beloved. It is time for us to do what we came here to do but that is just a tad tricky if you don’t know who your beloved is specifically, the broader ‘life and everything’ one is as clear as it’s ever going to be while encased in mortal flesh. I understand the Beloved in the context of the macrocosm but when it comes to the microcosm I can’t see him at all, somehow I manage to yearn without yearning, in other words making your needs known without being needy!
My task definitely has to do with supporting people through these exciting end times, through counselling, psychic and crisis, vocal toning, massage and energetic support. That still doesn’t always give me specifics but if I am paying attention I can usually work out what I am meant to be doing in the moment which after all is the present, the gift that never goes away. And sometimes I even give myself a day off, a day where I might clean, or walk, do yoga or washing, doing my best to let go of all that constant processing.
It is interesting being in all these different spaces as I go on my house sitting journey, getting to know different parts of my town and perhaps conjuring up different aspects of me, I am getting very clear about what I want in my own space when that comes. Me and my beloved in a space which is ours together, supporting each other in our journey upon the planet and the important work we are here to do. It feels a tiny bit scary putting that intention on paper as it were, so it must be a good idea, kind of like the buddy system where your intention is witnessed and supported.
Once it is out the next step is to surrender and to give my desire to the higher power that knows exactly how to bring it to fruition with perfection. Sometimes specific actions are required but on this occasion I keep getting the message from all around me to continue doing what I am doing, allow the ‘knowing’ to guide me in each part of the process. What matters more than anything is that I become who I really am in all my fullness, no excuses, no late notes, no more resistance………….simply letting go into what has always been there.