And so the ride continues, I open and expand with gratitude at my extraordinary life, then I am triggered into a release of tears and even a little anger, but mostly tears……….. I am sooooo tired, a big day, a big week, when I am weary it is much harder to cope with stress, and things that wouldn’t have bothered me at all tip me over the edge. Where there was some kind of clarity, I now feel confusion and doubt, yet in my heart I know that the path I am following is the right one, has the fool lost her faith??
As the flames fan and grow hotter, a black moth flutters from I know not where and lands upon my thigh, it stays there for a moment and then flutters on to I know not where. The moth operates in the dark and is connected to the light of the moon, what light does the moth see in me? The messages are many, she tells me of my ever-expanding intuitive sense, always huge but currently growing into what I can only describe as VAST! This doesn’t always mean that I KNOW what is going on in any tangible sense, with the influence of the moon we set out upon the sea of the unconscious, with no certainty of what port we will end up sailing into.
She tells me that I am on the path to attracting love, to continue on the path that I have chosen and to trust, even as my heart fills with doubts and fears. The moth has incredibly powerful pheromones and is confident about attracting her mate, this smell can be followed for remarkable distances……….the moth does not need to be overt in drawing her lover to her…….she is subtle in her allure.
And so I hold my desire strongly in not only my mind’s eye, but in the eye of my body, spirit and all the other layers of self. And with that in strong focus, I continue to step into my fullness, all of it, I shall not be overwhelmed for I am more than enough, I AM THE SUN RADIATING LIGHT TO THE WORLD!!
Blissings and love to you all!
A tender spiral invites me to swirl down and down into my soft sweet centre, there are no thoughts there, simply a warm acceptance of my beingness. I flow with the current, as the moon tugs at my innermost parts and asks me to sink into those depths, to let go of surface attachment and to be………… I pause in the midst of madness, and my blood chooses that moment of divine timing to release, carrying sadness, grief and anger, a river of loss and abandonment returning to the source from which it came………….. and being transformed.
Quantum Fractal Energy Mandala: On Facebook.
Nothing is ever truly lost, not love nor beauty, for where could it go? In deepest grief this knowing may take a very long time to be truly accepted and integrated. Though we may distract ourselves and pretend that our world is complete, there is always this yawning abyss waiting to engulf us, we fear that it will take us and we may never find our way home again. And yet home is where we’ve always been!
To gradually peel away the layers of self, the false images we created for protection, that became an armour that seemed unbreakable. With each release another distraction loses its charm, and we can begin to become more present with what is actually before us, the truth of the beauty of what our present moment contains. Surely this is worth the trials of sitting with discomfort, with pain and a sense of emptiness that sometimes seems unbearable, for the light at the end of the tunnel may seem far away, but that it is there is certain.
My long dark night of the soul is far behind me, but I would go there again in a moment if that was what the journey required, the blessings that have come to me in its wake are too many to be counted. From the ashes of my pain I am reborn, and the world is a beautiful place………………
The Prayer of Light
Love before me Love behind me Love at my left Love at my right Love above me Love below me Love unto me Love in my surroundings Love to all Love to the Universe
Peace before me Peace behind me Peace at my left Peace at my right Peace above me Peace below me Peace unto me Peace in my surroundings Peace to all Peace to the Universe
Light before me Light behind me Light at my left Light at my right Light above me Light below me Light unto me Light in my surroundings Light to all Light to the Universe
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Tagged abandonment, anger, beauty, being, divine, grief, loss, love, moon, pain, peace, sadness, transformation
Somewhere between ecstasy and despair lies the deepest peace, as they say in the bible, the peace that passeth all understanding, it is the place where there is no thought. And where there is no thought there can be no reason to suffer, it is a stillness that holds us without judgement, a place where we can experience complete and unconditional acceptance of who we be. In all our glory and magnificence, with all our warts and dis-ease, the shadow and the light can be together without shame, becoming whole, and in that process an integration occurs that transforms our egoic small selves into something large and mysterious.
To get to this place we must be prepared to journey to the furthest reaches of delight and to the deepest pits of the darkest hell, knowing all this time that it is our own creation, all of it. As I take responsibility for my own manifestation in all it’s light and shade, like a coat of many colours or a multi faceted crystal, I feel a sense of liberation. The lighter I become the easier it will be for my newly formed wings to rise and catch the wind, to lift me from the life lived in half measures, to the fullness of the starry starry night. The moon smiles at me and invites me for a visit, she holds a vision of my transformation that comes from the deep and mysterious realms of the feminine soul, that hard softness that will save the world if we let it.
Isis, Astarte, Diana, Hecate, Demeter, Kali, Inanna…………………..
Please take a look at the beautiful images that accompany this version of The Burning Times, that period in history when the feminine was under intense attack from all sides, particularly from the catholic church.
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Tagged creation, despair, ecstasy, feminine, integration, manifestation, moon, mystery, peace, soul, stillness, transformation